1. Do trust your instinct.  If your heart palpitates and your pits sweat every time his co-worker calls about ‘business,’ then she probably is the new object of his affection.

2. Do go to his office Christmas party wearing your black latex pants and your velvet shirt.  Do unbutton the top button and wear a thong.  Do talk to her at the party.  Be charming, even flirt a little—But don’t mean it.

3. Do invite her over for dinner.

4. While cooking, let her taste from your spoon—make sure he is watching.  But instead of watching her tongue lap up your secret sauce, watch his face.  Watch where he looks.  I repeat:  do not watch her tongue.

5. Do not look her in the eye while laughing at one of her jokes and thinking that her tits look great in that shirt—the way they strain against the silk, the way you can just see the outline of her nipple, the way you can almost tell how soft they are to the touch….  I said do NOT meet her gaze while laughing and thinking about her tits and thinking that you can kind of see her through his eyes—that you like what you see.  Don’t.  If you do you will either a) throw up on her shoes or b) kiss her.  Neither of which will work out.

6. Do not stay up all night slowly sipping red wine and talking with her while he tries to sleep in the other room.  Do not, while laughing hard and trying to be quiet about it, throw your arm around her in a half hug like you two are sharing some kind of secret together.  Do not rub your foot against her leg while lounging on the couch and acting like you are just stretching.  Do not stare at her for a fraction of a second too long.  He will wake up.  He will see the flush in your cheeks and intuit the dew between your legs.  He will know, in some way, that you want her too.  This is not a good thing.

7. Remember, she is not your friend.

8. I’d tell you not to see her again, but we already know what you’d say to that.

9. So, when you see her again: Do tell her that her ass looks good in those jeans—but do NOT mean it.

10. When she tells you that she loves him, do NOT tell her that you understand.

11. He loved you first.  Remember that at all times, keep it in your pocket—even when you are naked and exposed and she is running her tongue up the length of you mumbling ‘ohmygodIwant.’  It may seem irrelevant, but it isn’t.

12. Do kiss her back.  Do revel in the feel of her pressed against you, but only for a moment.  Only long enough to console your heart, which has been whispering to you that the whole point of this was so you could see what he saw in her, so that you could try and understand how he felt, what he wanted. 

13. Do not want her.

14. Do not smile when he walks in on the two of you.

15. Do not flinch when he takes off his clothes and joins you.

16. Do remember #11 when you watch him—in slow motion—penetrate her.

17. Do not think this will save your marriage.

18. When you cry after, and she licks your tears while he strokes your legs do not take this to mean that they both love you.

19. Do not think that he will stop seeing her behind your back because of this.

20. Do remember, at all times, that I told you so.

On the couch I touch her, the first time.
She is soft like me, warm like me.
She loves him, like me.
On her throat I touch her.
My lips pressed there as we hug.
Her pulse in my mouth.
The reds of flesh and lips and tongue.
The reds of this fire.
Desire.

In her hair I wrap myself.  Fingers woven in feathers. 
I see his hand here, not mine.
His lips against her skin.
His tongue licking her salt.
Not mine—
Not my salt.
Not anymore.

On the floor I lay against her.  My breasts brushing her back.  The sensation of energy pooled there like so much want. 
My fingers trace the mole on her shoulder, and next to it the love bite made by him.
Blood bruised flesh, and I say: 
He will never again touch me in that same decisive way. 
The knowledge rude—and yet…

“I’m sorry.”  Her voice let loose into the carpet pile.  “I never meant to hurt—“
“I didn’t mean to take—“

I shush her, my hand over her mouth, her teeth against my fingers.
And I can feel myself breaking now.
Breaking down.

She turns to face me.
Her hair fanned out like wings,
her shoulder exposed,
and her eyes…

And we say: “I can see why he loves you.”

So much want.
The reds of flesh and lips and…

And “just once,” she says.  “I want just once to know…”
And on fire now I kiss her.

This, the object of his desire.

The Song
 They are saying I love you and have a nice day.  But what they hear is fuck you and please go away.

The Dance
 She fucks him with out a word until he comes—yes despite himself—then says, “Now try and act indifferent.”

The Story
When she realizes that there has been nothing else to say for too long, when the silence becomes too much, she quietly packs a bag (four shirts, two pair of jeans, a weeks worth of underwear, and all of her notebooks and CDs) and walks out the back door.

 He watched her leave indifferently.

Image:  "Nusch Eluard and Sonia Mosse," 1936, Man Ray