Why does he dress like that?

"Dad, I would rather see you run through the streets naked than to see you wear that dress!" -An anonymous son of a certain molly

"I can tell that you are straight because, Girl that is not your color. You people just do not know how to accessorize!" -A member of Gay Blades Rapper Sword

I am the molly for Handsome Molly of Princeton NJ. I dress this way because it is traditional. For at least two centuries men in East Anglia have gone from house to house making fun of the local festival dances. Half of them would dress as men and half as women. They would dance for money or beer. If they didn't get it they would often get into mischief. This seems to explain the fact that they would disguise themselves by smudging their faces with burnt cork. Handsome Molly used to blacken our faces but we recently abandoned that practice as it was generally mid-understood by American audiences.