Christmas Cheer, 1996

Sonny as Father Christmas? Yup!

Scene: Sonny, Jason, Mike and Joseph go shopping for a tree on Christmas Eve.


Mike: Ooh-a, smell this.

Sonny: Wait Mike...Mike, wait, wait.

(Jason's phone rings)

Jason: It's not you, it's not Robin...it can wait.

Mike: Hey, will you quit stalling? Come on!

Sonny: What do I need a tree for Mike? One day, what's the point?

Jason: Look at the size of this one.

Sonny: That's not going to fit on the elevator.

Mike: You can keep it up through New Years; you can keep it up through Easter.
All I know is, the four of us are decorating a tree tonight. Every other place in town
is either closed or sold out.

Sonny: OK, good, good. Cause I want this one, right here. (points to a small tree)

Tommy Hardy: Dad, can we get this too? (points to same tree)

Tom Hardy: We already have a tree.

Sonny: I did see it first.

Mike: Wait a minute. Rule of thumb is, a Christmas tree has to be bigger than you are Sonny.

Tommy Hardy: But Grandpa doesn't have one. If we put this one in his office,
can he see it in heaven?

Maria: Of course he can! Everybody in heaven has x-ray vision! (to Sonny) Shame on you!

Tom Hardy: Tommy, your Grandfather'd probably like that a lot.

Sonny: (to Tommy) You know what? My old man, he won't let me get it anyway.

Maria: OK, I'll throw in the tree for all the angels and the saints.
Jose, will you help these gentlemen, even if they don't know what they want?

(her husband Jose comes over)

Sonny: Fine, this one's fine (points at a bigger tree).

Mike: But it's not symmetrical Sonny.

Sonny: Mike, you won't go for a fake tree, but then you want something that looks fake!

Joseph: Longer needles...it'll be easier to vacuum them up.

Jason: Found some of these needles last summer. Too easy to go up like a torch.

Sonny: Fantastic. How much?

Jose: Maria...how much?

Sonny: Maria...

Maria: A hundred...and fifty.

Mike: (laughs) You mean fifty. Fifty bucks, right?

Maria: Aye...plus a hundred!

Mike: That's highway robbery! Sixty bucks, tops.

Maria: Ever hear of supply and demand? I got the supplies, so I make the demands.

Mike: Ever hear of the Better Business Bureau?

Sonny: Mike, put a sock in it!

(Maria doubles over with labor pains)

Mike: Come on! Look what she's pulling now. This is a con artist!

Sonny: What are you, jealous? Being pregnant is the only con you never pulled! Can we just leave here please?

(Sonny overhears Maria and Jose say that her water already broke)

Sonny: Did I hear right?

Jose: An hour ago.

Sonny: Your water broke?

Maria: Yes.

(fade to black)

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