Ringside at congressional catfight

By AMANDA LEHMERT
and JOE WILBUR
The Tattoo

Here's what two newspaper geeks do on a Friday
night: we  attended the congressional debate
between Nancy Johnson and Charlotte Koskoff last
month at Central Connecticut State University.
And we actually enjoyed it.

After much confusion and some brilliant
impromptu highway maneuvering, we arrived with
only a vague idea of where we were going and
what was to occur.

We arrived an hour early. Poor planning,
perhaps, but, we figured, if we were going to be
at a debate on a Friday, we might as well be
early. Go ahead. Call us square. We can take it.

We strolled about the campus for an hour,
looking for the ballroom and the debate crowd,
watching bored students in black trench coats
lounge on picnic tables smoking cloves. A few
dark figures in medieval robes stalked past us.
This, we guessed, had been neglected in the
college view book.
 
We found the hall and quickly located the free
food. Politics are nice, we thought, but
chocolate chips are better.

We were instructed by an old man with a baseball
cap (who claimed to be the caterer) to start at
the top of the pile of complimentary cookies. He
was up all night baking, he explained, and we
weren't sure whether to smile and thank him, or
just to back away slowly. We took them post
haste, and found our advisor, Steve Collins, who
was skulking in a corner gathering quotes.
 
As usual, Steve had found the biggest freaks in
the room. Behind him third party candidate Timm
Knibbs was ranting to anyone who would listen
(and especially those with notebooks) about the
injustice of the closed debate. He said
(repeatedly) that the taxpayers were being
gypped, made to pay for a debate in which
legitimate third party candidates (like himself)
were not allowed to speak. After much arm
flailing and voice raising, Knibbs was calmly
escorted outside.

We breathed a sigh of relief because he had just
begun to talk to us and we were a little afraid
that he might have been packing heat. Ellen
Russak of the League of Women Voters, sponsors
of the debate, explained that Knibbs failed to
meet their "requirements of a legitimate
candidate."
  
We didn't blame her. If it were our debate, we
wouldn't have invited him either.

Stepping outside for a bit of fresh air, we
heard the distinct echoes of an angry rally mob
forming in the distance. The "Carpenters for
Koskoff,"  a group of union workers, carried
picket signs and chanted slogans. Among our
favorites were "Export Johnson, Import Koskoff"
and "Hey, Hey, Ho, Ho, Nancy Johnson's Got to
Go!"

Mingling in among the clean crowd were a few
rougher chanters singing: "Nancy Johnson is a
Congress Ho!"

Bruce Lydem, a union man, explained the rally:
"We think that Nancy Johnson is wrong for the
6th district. She's not for working people.
She's forgot what it's like. It started in
Bristol, with New Departure and then with
Stanley. We've got families trying to live on
$25,000 a year. If she put the effort into
helping working people that she puts into
campaigning and fund raising, we wouldn't be
here."

Johnson and Koskoff make good sparring partners,
we'd decided, because, besides being Republican
and Democrat, each really seem to hate the
others' guts.

We filed into the ballroom, smiling ear to ear,
trying to be neutral, and took our seats in the
front row. By sheer chance (or perhaps some
strange liberal law of physics) we found
ourselves on the "Koskoff side"  of the room, a
few men in hard hats sitting just behind us.

And then they were ready to rumble.

As Johnson took the stage, modest applause rose,
killed quickly, it seemed, by a great deal of
booing. The room's right wing was quiet as
Koskoff entered the fray, but the left cheered
wildly.

One of us commented to the other that, if the
debate could be won solely on the merit of the
candidate's legs, Koskoff would have it hands
down.

But on with the issues.

The audience was pretty lukewarm through the
discussion of nuclear testing and the death
penalty, but heated up with the discussion of
NAFTA and HMOs.
 
While discussing the origin of a motion that
Johnson supported to keep foreign products from
being stamped "Made in the USA,"  Koskoff seemed
to falter. She wasn't sure how to argue as she
was obviously unclear on the case. "What was the
case?"  she asked Johnson. "Do your homework,
Charlotte," Johnson replied.

Just then, a Koskoff supporter darted up through
the aisles, a piece of paper in hand.  She
looked about for a pen, grabbed one of ours,
scribbled something, and passed it to Koskoff.
It was then revealed that the case involved
Canadian peanut swirl being imported for Skippy
peanut butter. The audience giggled at the
revelation as we tried to pretend that we
weren't thrilled to be a part of the democratic
process.

We think that we can trace the ensuing cat fight
to this exact point. Claws were unsheathed, and
it began to get ugly. 

We noticed that Johnson was the veteran
politician, finding every conceivable way to
cloud and confuse the issues. If you asked her
what her favorite color was, we imagined, she
would tell you why having a favorite color is
important to children starving in the Middle
East and that she VERY strongly supports
starving children in the Middle East having
favorite colors. 

Koskoff was obviously the novice, still
emotionally involved in the issues, still aware
of the difference between what she feels and the
safe answer. Perhaps when she has been in
Congress for so long that she too goes deaf to
the chants just outside, she will be able to win
reelection with the greatest of ease, fence
sitting like an old pro and having an answer for
everyone.

And so that's that. We left the debate with a
little more faith in the system, a few chocolate
cookies and a reaffirmed fear of third party
candidates. This, we think, is what this
nation's really all about.