Version 0.3
Copyright © 2006 by Zack Smith
All rights reserved.
Hoodia Toxicity
Hoodia has been scientifically proven to have
a toxic effect on confined populations of green paper bills
and other species of currency,
causing them to become alarmed and mobile,
at which point they flee the "wallets" and bank accounts
of consumers (also known, ironically, as suckers)
and re-assemble in the wallets
and bank accounts of shady operators,
unscrupulous tribesmen and drug-addled
teenage website operators.
Top 5 Reasons Not to Use Hoodia
=5=
Hoodia is an African-derived plant, and Hoodia is known to
be a leading cause of tribalism, spear-throwing,
and corrupt politics.
=4=
Effects may be deadly for stick persons.
A stick man, having been drawn using a #2 pencil
before Hoodia use, would require a super-ultra-fine
drafting pencil after Hoodia, until ultimately,
a fingernail scratch will be all that is left of said stick person.
That, and our memory of him.
=3=
It's a thorny cactus-like plant and will stick you in the eye,
if eaten raw. In 2005 alone, eye-puncture fatalies
were considered to be at epidemic levels
among knuckle-dragging populations.
In some small towns, where lemmings are known to
congregate, cases have arisen in which
clever manipulaters have devised bizarre eye-poking rituals
that gullible small town dinks
mindlessly leap into, resulting in populations of
obese Cyclopses.
=2=
Side effects of Hoodia include loss of hunger compounded by
loss of money. The negative effects on
wealth-retention have been shown to be staggering
in some cases, even as some experts tout Hoodia's
poverty-increasing benefits.
=1=
It's not candy. It tastes like crap.
Links
Hoodia Benefits
How to hide
an unsightly erection: a guide for boys,
men, and hermaphrodites.
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This is a joke webpage by
plutarch at comcast dot net
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