Intro - with apologies to bandparenting.net

Why, What, Where, When and How

Call me Ishmael. (Well, it worked for Herman Melville.) Call me a band parent. Band parents have more important things to think about than chasing a great white whale. Now that you are or are about to be a band parent there is much you will want to know so straight to the matter! Firstly you must understand the cosmic importance of the band experience to your child and by extension the importance of band parenting.

Why your child must be in band

The reasons why your child(ren) must be in band are so numerous that they would fill a book (or a Website). If this Website does well expect to see that other website really soon! In the mean time a few of the reasons are:

1) Band is real neat. A bold statement, perhaps, but band can live up to it.

2) So you can be a band parent. Yes.

3) Your child will learn to pay attention and follow directions. Failure to pay attention on the marching field can mean being trampled by a phalanx of quick-marching sousaphones. Band members must listen to directions and keep their minds focused just to survive.

4) Your child will learn music not played on MTV. Too many young people are unaware of great art, good art or any art not in the 'Top 40'. Band will widen the scope of your child's appreciation.

5) It will keep your child off the streets (parades excepted) and away from almost everywhere else as well. Band members are too busy to get into trouble.

Qualifications for Band Parents

It’s so simple. You need to be the parent (or grandparent, or god-parent, or foster parent, or step-parent, or adoptive parent, or great grandparent, or even "just like a parent") of a band member. You also qualify if you are a legal guardian, court appointed surrogate, trustee in chancery, Big Brother/Big Sister or close aunt or uncle of a band member (or Regent of a band member of royal blood who is heir presumptive or better). Band Parents' Organizations properly use the widest possible definition of "parent". They say, It takes a whole village to raise a child.. All the adults in that village should be band parents!

There are people who take on many of the responsibilities of band parents without being band member parents in any way at all. The best book on these phenomena is Johann Quincey Finsterblat's 'Band Director's Spouse!- It's More than a Marriage, Its Helping to Run the Band!', available from Band Parents Publishing Company.

New band parents often wonder if they have the training and skills to be proper band parents. Band parents require wills of iron, the wisdom of Solomon, the endurance of a marathon runner, nerves of steel, the diplomacy of an ambassador, the strength of Hercules, the patience of Job, the self denial of a saint, the determination of the Little Engine That Could, plus the skills of a master mechanic, a registered nurse, a darn good carpenter, a school janitor, a Savile Row tailor, a licensed psychologist, a political campaign fund raiser and a boot camp master sergeant.

That may seem a tall order but DESPAIR NOT FOR THERE IS HOPE!

Not every band parent needs to possess all of these virtues in full. When the BPO needs wisdom two band parents, each of whom has half the wisdom of Solomon, can form a committee. Three out-of-shape couch potato band parents can move a tympani as well as one in-shape jogger band parent. Science has proved (in studies conducted by the Band Parents' Research Institute of Elkhart, Indiana) that good band parents are made, not born. Your most important qualification for band parenting is your willingness to show up. They'll teach you everything else.

Why YOU Really Really Really Should be a Band Parent

By now it will already be clear that students should be in band and that every parent can be a band parent. (If this isn't clear please go back and re-read the beginning of this page five or six times.) It is likewise true that you really should be a band parent. It is your destiny. You can no more avoid it than death, taxes and fast food commercials.

Some people still resist. A few of these are the same people who have made reruns of "My Mother the Car" so popular. They are beyond helping. The rest will advance spurious arguments in defense of their position. Seemingly compelling at first glance these arguments are easily refuted by a thorough understanding of band. Some common arguments against becoming a band parent are refuted here.

I take care of my child. I don't have to worry about the rest of the band.

* This shows a basic lack of understanding of how a band works. Bands are only as good as their weakest section. Your band member could have the finest instrument, the most expensive lessons, go to the best summer band camps and still never have any chance of winning at competition if the rest of the band is neglected. A few good players do not a good band make. In a good band every player must be good. To take care of your band member you have to help take care of the whole band.

Its not fair that I should have to help band members whose parents watch "My Mother the Car".

* It’s not fair, but that's the way it is. Blame it on Jerry Van Dyke.

The school district should take care of everything the band needs.

* It would be nice. Usually they just pay for the basics like band director's salaries and such. If they don't even do that then run for the school board. You might change things for the better. There are people in every community who do not understand the importance of band. You will have to fight them for every penny. For that matter there are people in every community who do not seem to understand the importance of reading. Some of these are parents. "My Mother the Car" has much to answer for.

I don't have enough money for band parenting.

* No one does. Band always needs more money. If people waited until there was enough money for band there would be no bands. Be a good band parent with whatever money you have.

I am very busy and do not have time for band parenting.

* A person who has no time for band parenting has no time for life.

How to Become a Band Parent

Just follow this simple four step program.

1 .- Acquire a child.

2.- Check "Yes" on school form asking if your child wants to be in band.

3.- Congratulations! You are now a band parent.

4.- Repeat Steps 1-3 as often as you like.