----- WHO'S WHO IN HAM RADIO -----

     ADVANCED:     Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
                     Is more powerful than a locomotive
                      Is faster than a speeding bullet
                             Walks on water, and
                             Gives policy to GOD.

     GENERAL:      Leaps short buildings in a single bound
                    Is more powerful than a switch engine
                    Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
                     Walks on water if the sea is calm
                               Talks with GOD.
 
     CONDITIONAL:  Leaps short buildings with a running jump
                            AND favorable winds...
                    Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
                         Is faster than a speeding BB
                   Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
                 Talks with GOD if special request is approved.
 
     TECHNICIAN (Old):    Barely clears a quonset hut
                      Looses tug-of-war with a locomotive
                          Can fire a speeding bullet
                                  Swims well
                       Is occasionally addressed by GOD.
 
     NOVICE:       Makes high marks on the wall when trying
                           to leap small buildings
                          Is run over by locomotive
                      Can sometimes handle a gun without
                            inflicting self-injury
                              Talks to animals.
 
     TECH-PLUS:              Runs into buildings
                 Recognizes locomotive two out of three times
                           Is not issued ammunition
                     Can stay afloat with a life preserver
                                Talks to walls.
 
     NO CODE TECH:  Falls over doorsteps when entering buildings
                         Says, "Look at the choo-choo"
                       Wets himself with a water pistol
                            Plays in mud puddles
                             Mumbles to himself.
 
     AMATEUR EXTRA:  Lifts buildings and walks under them
                        Kicks locomotives off the track
                    Catches speeding bullets in their teeth
                                AND EATS THEM
                      Freezes water with a single glance
                         T H E Y    A R E    G O D !
 
Author Unknown;    But rumor has it, that he has been demoted to 11 meters
   and is now a CBer, he can occasionally be heard Southbound and Down!