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NOTE: All poems, songs, limericks, jokes, puzzles and stories contained in these archives are COPYRIGHTED to the original author. In most cases, the original author is the person who wrote the post.

Some of these posts were edited down from longer posts made to RCTN.

From: kdyer@crl.com (Kathleen Dyer)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: 'Twas the Night...
Date: 29 Nov 1995 17:51:51 -0800
Organization: CRL

An Minor Adaptation for Stitchers
of
Clement Moore's
"A Visit From St. Nicholas"

(Adapted by Kathleen Dyer)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;
The stockings weren't hung yet, as they were still where
I was frantically stitching them, pulling my hair;
Quite unlike my children, each snug in a bed,
While visions of mattresses danced in my head,
In my sweat pants and T-shirt and old baseball cap,
Drinking triple espressos, no time for a nap;
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my chair to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tripped over the tote bag, then threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the look of metallics to objects below,
When, what to my sleep deprived eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
Gliding like silk thread his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As floss scraps that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
Then, losing my needle, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I let my thread fall, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
I snatched up my stitching and flung it far back,
For fear of the soot on his clothes and his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
He looked like the chart I had bought for the reason
Of stitching it up for the holiday season.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
To fill all the stockings, but turned with a jerk.
"And where are the stockings?" He looked down his nose.
I handed them over, and blushed like a rose.
He finished his work, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Get done early next year, don't wait 'til the last night!"

============================================
Kathleen Dyer <mailto:kdyer@crl.com>
<http://www.crl.com/~kdyer/xstitch.html>
------------------------------------------------------------------
"Time has little to do with infinity and jelly doughnuts."

From: kdyer@crl.com (Kathleen Dyer)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: There once was a stitcher...
Date: 9 Mar 1995 18:29:21 -0800
Organization: CRL

And now, for a slight change in format...

To the tune of "Jingle Bells":

Dashing through the store
With floss list clutched in hand.
Just need one skein more
For that last sampler band.
I swear that's all I'll buy...
Wow! New charts in the rack!
And over there I think I spy
Silk ribbon in a pack.

Oh, frames and floss, cloth to cross, scroll bars by the set.
Oh what fun it is to shop. There's so much more to get.
Charts and beads, all my needs for stitching will be met.
I'll put them with the things at home that I've not finished yet.

Kathy (who knows that "floss list clutched" is almost impossible to sing.)

From: werpetin@risky.ecs.umass.edu (Katrina Werpetinski)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: More Silly Songs and Rhymes
Date: 29 Nov 1995 14:51:40 GMT
Organization: I'm *not* organized...that's the problem

I started this one in the car, but couldn't finish it until I got back and scrounged up all the lyrics.

One More Row
[to Let it Snow]

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But this needlework's delightful,
Since we've no place to go,
One more row, one more row, one more row.

Shows no signs of quitting,
From the comfy place I'm sitting,
I'll just sit here and sew,
One more row, one more row, one more row.

When we finally kiss goodnight,
How I'll hate putting down all my floss,
But if you really hold me tight,
I'll forget stitchin' time lost.

My energy is dying,
But French knots I'm still a-tying,
And as long as there's one to go,
One more row, one more row, one more row.

From: marbeth@ix.netcom.com (Martha Beth Lewis )
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: 12 Days of Christmas in Stitching
Date: 3 Dec 1995 21:39:45 GMT
Organization: Netcom

As long as we're in a holiday mood, here's the "12 Days of Christmas" for stitchers:

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a floor stand that holds my scroll bars.
second day: two packs of beads
third day: three French knots
fourth day: four hanks of silk
fifth day: five chocolate hearts!
sixth day: six books of stitches
seventh day: seven needlethreaders
eighth day: eight spools of braid
ninth day: nine packs of needles
tenth day: ten silver thimbles
eleventh day: eleven yards of linen
twelfth day: twelve antique samplers

Martha Beth

PS. EGA newsletter folks: contact me, please, if you want to reprint this.

From: werpetin@risky.ecs.umass.edu (Katrina Werpetinski)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Re: More Silly Songs and Rhymes
Date: 10 Dec 1995 15:05:35 GMT
Organization: I'm *not* organized...that's the problem

A Stitchers 12 Days of Christmas
[to 12 Days of Christmas]

On the 12th day of Christmas, my DH gave to me,

Twelve frames for framin',
Eleven patterns pendin',
Ten yards of linen,
Nine spools for blendin',
Eight more metallics,
Seven sets of scroll bars,
Six tools for layin',
Five golden needles,
Four season angels,
Three bead packs,
Two Hand-eze gloves,
And a full set of DMC.

Note: I can't remember if anyone has taken poetic license with the 12 Days of Christmas yet. If someone has, please don't infer that I didn't think it was good enough. I just couldn't remember if it had been done.

Katrina

From: reise@usa1.com (reise@usa1.com)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Sing to "Jingle Bells"....
Date: 14 Dec 1995 12:19:30 GMT
Organization: USAinternet, Inc.

And to think that I woke up singing this! Betcha ya can't guess what's on my mind these days <VBG>!

Sing to the tune of "Jingle Bells":

As I sat down one day
To write my Xmas list
I thought of all the Cross
Stitch things I can't resist.
I quickly wrote down floss,
I then wrote down some charts,
And as I wrote more Cross-Stitch things
Joy burst into my heart!

OOooooooohhhhhhhh!
Bring me floss, bring me charts, needles by the score!
Bring me all the things I need and bring me something more!
Bring me something nice and new that I've not seen just yet!
If Santa Claus does cross-stitch then I know I'll be all set!!

Enjoy!

Patty
BabyGeorge@aol.com

From: kujo@wam.umd.edu (karen j. olsen)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Snowy Stitching
Date: 9 Jan 1996 01:19:52 GMT
Organization: University of Maryland College Park

Sing to the tune of "Let It Snow"

Oh, the weather outside is frightful,
but the stitching's so delightful,
As long as I've UFO's,
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Karen/kujo
17 inches in Lanham, MD--all bundled up with 2 cats, a mug of hot chocolate, and loving it;)

From: Kathy Dyer <kdyer@wco.com>
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Holiday Stitching Song
Date: 2 Dec 1996 00:29:19 GMT
Organization: WCO

Here's a holiday song for all my RCTN friends...

"White Floss Skein"
by Kathleen Dyer

(to the tune of "White Christmas")

I'm dreaming of a white floss skein
So I could stitch this final row.
But the project's due now.
All I can do now
Is choose red or yellow snow.

I'm dreaming of a white floss skein
But stores aren't open overnight.
May your days have good stitching light
And may all your cross stitch snow be white.

Happy Holidays.
Kathy (if I can find last year's effort, I'll post that too)
============================================
Kathleen Dyer Counted Cross Stitch, Needlework and Stitchery Page
<mailto:kdyer@wco.com> <http://www.wco.com/~kdyer/xstitch.html>
------------------------------------------------------------------
"Time has little to do with infinity and jelly doughnuts."

From: "Cynthia S. Wetzel" <wizheart@bigfoot.com>
To: <kdyer@wco.com>
Subject: Dashing through the Store....
Date: Thu, 9 Oct 1997 18:35:16 -0400

Saw your cute poem in Colonial West Jersey Chapter, EGA, newsletter. Thought you might appreciate the following. I wrote it in 1990 for our newsletter:

Over the creek and throught the woods
To the stitchery shop I go.
The car knows the way; I've had it engraved.
Why is that school bus so slow!

Past the market, the laundry too,
There's just not time to stop!
I've no more floss color three-two-two
Oh my, I just passed a cop!

On to the store, magazine on the seat,
That new project will look just grand!
I know I promised to finish my quilt,
But I'm getting that itch in my hand!

The groceries away, the kids tucked in bed,
I've washed both the clothes and the dishes.
My mate's got a book - - is he learning to cook?
I hope I can finish by Christmas!

[with sincere apologies to the writer of "Over the River"]

Cindy Wetzel
(infrequently CSue on RCTN)

From: reereep@aol.com (ReeReeP)
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: 1997 Thanksgiving (US) Limerick
Date: 26 Nov 1997 16:29:09 GMT

This has been running through my head all morning......

Sometime around Thanksgiving Day
You can hear all the cross-stitchers say
"There is no time to cook,
Just come take a look,
Christmas gifts won't be done until May!"

Happy Thanksgiving to all ! Don't splash any gravy on that linen! :-)

Love,
Ree

From: Mike & June Huber <Hubers@swbell.net>
Organization: Southwestern Bell Internet Services
Newsgroups: rec.crafts.textiles.needlework
Subject: Christmas Stitching Song
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 1998 14:52:27 -0600

Here's a little holiday song that popped into my head this morning. Enjoy!

We're Stitching Our Gifts for Christmas
(to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas")

We're stitching our gifts for Christmas,
We're stitching our gifts for Christmas,
We're stitching our gifts for Christmas,
As the deadline draws near.

Our needlework we'll give
To our favorite kin.
If we finish in time for Christmas,
Or at least for New Year's.

We won't stop until we've finished,
We won't stop until we've finished,
We won't stop until we've finished,
Tho' our eyes blur and tear.

Count 1-2-3-4,
Stitch all those beads in.
Wash, press, frame and finish,
Wish Martha Stewart was here.

We're stitching our gifts for Christmas,
We're stitching our gifts for Christmas,
We're stitching our gifts for Christmas,
For delivery next year.

June in Houston (smug in the knowledge that all nine of the Emie Bishop hardanger heart ornaments for this year are DONE!)

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