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I scanned this photograph of my mom. As I looked at her picture on my monitor I couldn't help thinking about how old she looked. Mom was born in 1899 and died in 1969. She was 58 when the photo was taken. I'm 69 now...11 years older than she was at the time.
I loved her with all my heart. Even after all this time, I still miss her. I always will.
When you are told over and over again something that you don't want to hear, it is easily forgotten. When you hear those words again (even 50 years later) they are remembered and understood. My mom told me many of the following. I'm sure that if you are an "oldbie" your mother did too. If you are young, they may all be foreign to you because many of today's young mothers want to be pals with their kids and do not "lay down the law" like ours did in the dark ages.
Many of them I remember (marked in red) to this day. I should have heeded the advice back then.
- I'm going to give you until the count of three.
- Don't pick, it'll get infected.
- I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
- Who do you think you are?
- I don't care what "everyone" is doing, I care what YOU are doing!
- What, you want more money?
- Well, the people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a PITCHER?
- If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
- You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
- When you don't listen to your Mom, that's when you get into trouble.
- Don't use that tone with me!
- Someday your face will freeze like that!
- What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
- Look at me when I'm talking to you.
- You're going to put your eye out with that thing!
- Do you think your socks are going to pick themselves up?
- Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
- How many times do I have to tell you...don't throw things in the house!
- No, you can't go steady! You KNOW what that leads to.
- Were you born in a barn? Close the door -- and DON'T slam it!
- Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
- Be good -- and don't do ANYTHING to embarrass your parents.
- No child of MINE would do something like that.
- "I don't know" is NOT an answer.
- Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
- If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?
- No. Beauty is as beauty does!
- What do you mean you aren't going to eat everything on your plate?
- Think of those poor starving children in India.
- You can't find it? Well, where did you leave it last?
- If bologna was a tin horn you'd have an orchestra!
- Money does NOT grow on trees.
- I'm not everyone else's parents and you're not everyone else!
- Five minutes of pleasure is not worth a lifetime of hell.
- You made your bed, now lie in it.
- This hurts me more than it hurts you.
- Don't make me tell you again.
- Stop your crying before I give you something to cry about.
- Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
- I'm not Freddy's mom, I'm your mom and I care what happens to you.
- I'm not going to tell you how to spell that when you can look it up in the dictionary!
- Life isn't fair.
- Who do you think you are? Madam Butterfly?
- Would you do that if the Queen were here?
- When I was young we had respect for our elders now look at the world!
- Did you iron that?
- I don't THINK soo...
- Don't use that tone with me!
- When you don't listen to your Mom, that's when you get into trouble.
- You look too much like your father to be my child.
- Look it up in your contract: I'm the Mom, you're the kid. I get to do the nagging.
- There is nothing for nice girls to do past midnight.
- What do you mean CARRY ME? I carried you for nine months!!
- I'm not here to entertain you.
- That's OK, sweetie, anything to get you out of jail!
- Am I talking to a brick wall?
- Eat those carrots, they're good for your eyesight. You never see rabbits wearing glasses, do you?
- A good smack never did me any harm .....
- You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
- There's no shame in being poor, but there is shame in being dirty!
- You'll never live to see sixteen!!
- There's someone either dying or being created under your bed -- look at all this dust!
- Eat your meat.
- Did you flush?
- I worry about you.
- Can you give me an itinerary for your trip?
- Who are you going with? Do I know them?
- I hate having you drive alone at night.
- Somebody's gonna end up crying.
- You don't WANT to clean your room? You don't have to Want to!
- You can be anything you want to, if you just set your mind to it.
- A man who plays when he should be working will never amount to much.
- There's enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
- What would you do if I wasn't here?
- If you don't quit that, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week.
- You'll miss me when I'm gone!
- AFTER you pick up your room, make your bed, brush your teeth and comb your hair, THEN you can go out to play.
- Don't say SHUT UP!
- If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
- Close your mouth when you're eating -- you look like a cow!
- Speak up; I can't hear your head rattle.
- Never leave the house hungry.
- Be good -- but if you can't be good, be careful.
- Eat the crust of your bread. It will make your hair curly and your teeth white.
- I resign!
- Remember who you are.
- The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.
- Do as I say, not as I do.
- I don't care what "everyone" is doing, I care what YOU are doing!
- What will the neighbors think?
- First marry for love, then marry for money.
- Sure, your brother has book smarts, but YOU have street smarts.
- Who do you think you are?
- When I was a little girl ...
- Do I have to send you an engraved invitation? Sit down and eat!
- Act your age.
- You just have big bones.
- But you have a beautiful complexion.
- You must get that from your father's side of the family.
- What have I done to deserve such ungrateful children?
- I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
- I should slap you from an amazing grace into a floating opportunity!!
- If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
- Fools' names and fools' faces are always seen in public places.
- I hope someday you have children just like you.
- Two wrongs do not make a right.
- Don't talk with your mouth full!
- I wish you kids could see videos of yourselves eating!
- How are things in your little life?
- Don't leave any crumbs on the counter!
- You have a cute little figure.
- Do I embarrass you?
- If you slouch like that, you'll get a hump in your back and no boy will ever ask you out.
- You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives.
- This, too, shall pass.
- I don't know why you turned out the way you have.
- Wear clean underwear in case you get in a car wreck and have to go to the hospital.
- I brought you into this world, I can take you out.
- If you'd open your eyes as wide as your mouth, you'd find what you're looking for.
- Pretty is as pretty does.
- You can marry more money in five minutes than you can earn in a lifetime.
- Sit like a lady!
- When are you going to take your bath?
- Do you want a time-out?
- I don't care if Jimmy's Mom said yes.
- Those turtles are playing leapfrog; one got stuck.
- Wipe your feet!!
- Go ask your father.
- Well, if you feel like you really need to go to the mall, I guess you can. Just don't ask me for any money!
- Enough is enough!
- It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
- I'm not just talking to hear my own voice.
- You girls are pigs -- we live in a pigsty!!
- Shut your mouth and eat.
Revised February 2002 
