25 To Life

I have been on an emotional roller coaster this week! Can I get off now??!!

 So there I am on Tuesday, out to dinner with a friend who is about to have her baby, when I get a text that my other friend had just had their baby! I was surrounded by baby-ness! I was so happy for my friend who is soon to give birth and for my friend that had just given birth, but the longing in my heart for my little girl was great! How I wished it was me with the announcement of a child being brought into my family! 

 Wednesday we had an Adoption Awareness Celebration at my school. I had been working on this for some time and was very pleased with how it turned out! I was teary eyed through the whole thing! From my adoption counselor's opening remarks, to three of my students' families sharing their stories, and two of my students sharing their own message on how they feel about their adoptions -- I was a mess! I was just very emotional. Some of you may know, but for those of you who don't, adoption is in "my blood" so this day was really important to me. My mom was adopted when she was 6 months old, my uncle was adopted as a baby (both domestically), and my niece was adopted at age 10 by her step-father...Adoption is something that is both embraced and celebrated in my life. 

 Well, after the celebration I went to visit my friends who had just had their baby the day before. I couldn't take my eyes off of her! She was so tiny, precious, and perfect! Every sound she made, every movement...we just watched her for 45 minutes! I was so teary eyed watching my friends with their precious newborn! Again, very happy for them but longing for my time to come! 

It's hard with all this baby-ness around me! I am so joyful for the new life being celebrated in my friends' lives, but I long for that day when I will hold my little girl in my arms and have her to share life with! And then I look at our adoption account and wonder how we will ever raise the funds we need...

It's times like these when all I can do is go to my knees and lay it all before the altar of the Lord! His timing is perfect and I know that He will work all things out for the good of His kingdom and that His plan is perfect! I am grateful for the day I have, the joy around me, and the promises of God's great love! I cannot stay in my humanness for long or I will drive myself crazy; but it's in those times that God shows me His glory and teaches me to wait on Him!

So, yes, I can get off the roller coaster. I know there will be many more rides between now and the day I can hold my daughter for the first time, but I also know that the rides will come to an end and that I will be able to catch my breath -- even if only for a short time before I'm off again!

~ Mandie 

I went into her room tonight...surrounded myself with all the stuff animals we have in there...I laid on the bed and hugged the stuffed rabbit with the blue bow...and then I just prayed...

I prayed that wherever my little one is tonight that she is safe, and loved, and happy...that her needs are being met and that she is being well-taken care of...that her birthmother is blessed and filled with peace knowing that God is taking care of our daughter...OUR daughter...her's by birth and ours by God's great love and provision...

There are nights like tonight, when I feel overwhelmed by emotion and with a longing to hold her...to see her...to have her home...but knowing that there is still much time between now and the day I hold her and bring her home to this room of animals that are waiting for their playmate...

Maybe it's the fact that my 30th is only days away and that inevitable "clock" is ticking...maybe it's the baby showers I go to for the ones around me who are welcoming their new little ones into their lives in the coming weeks...but nights like tonight are hard...so hard...not knowing where she is, who is with her, and when she'll be coming home...How can you miss someone you've never even laid eyes on??

Her room is yellow and filled with stuffed bears, dogs, dolls, and flowers...it feels bright and sunny with the pale yellow pillows made by Yia Yia...it radiates warmth...Build-A-Bears line the headboard and the doll cradle my grandfather made brings happy memories I long to share...I don't know why I pain myself by spending time in there, but I somehow seem to feel that I'm closer to her in this room that is waiting for my precious little one...It's the one place that I can think about her, pray for her, and allow myself the tears that need to come without worrying who will see my emotions...

I know that the day will come when she will be there with me...Sweet dreams my Beloved...May you be protected and loved today and every day until we meet...

November is "Adoption Awareness Month", so we have been busy putting together mailings to send to churches, friends, and families. We want to raise awareness about the need for adoption, but domestically and internationally. Please spend some time praying for all the children who are waiting to be matched to their "forever family"! As always, we appreciate the prayers for our own adoption and for our child who is waiting for us somewhere across the world!!

May God bless you and your families! 

The good news we've been waiting for....our dossier is OFFICIALLY registered in Bulgaria with the Ministry of Justice!! This means that we are in the computer system to be matched with a child when our profile comes up!! Thanks to so many of you who have been helping us along the way!!

 The next step is to raise the adoption fee: $16,000. Please spread the word about the 25 To Life Challenge. If we can get 128 people to complete the challenge we will have the country fee for our adoption!! We need your help to get the word out, so please start making calls and sending out our website info.!! I know we can do this. We'll keep you updated on this site about upcoming fundraisers!!

As always, our prayers will continue for you and your families as we journey on. Please remember to keep our child in your prayers, wherever she may be. Prayer is a powerful thing!!  

Our paperwork is off to Bulgaria!! It is in the process of being translated to Bulgarian and should be registered with the Bulgarian Ministry of Justice within the next month!! We are on the "official" wait time!! 

Thank you so much to all of you who have been supporting us and our journey through your financial gifts and your prayers!! Please continue to share our website with others who may join us in this journey as there is still a great financial need in order to complete this process. Please keep us and our little girl in your prayers and may God bless you and your families as you have blessed us!

So, I know my last post was kind of depressing...we all have those moments and I'm sure there will be more! God has definitely answered prayer in regards to our fund...We have received approx. $1,200 in the last couple of days (I will be updating our page with the new amount and donors names soon!!)! We are halfway to raising the dossier fee! Thank you, JESUS!!

It is so hard to ask friends and family for money...especially knowing that everyone is struggling with the economy and also that we haven't been the greatest at keeping in touch with extended family! I am so thankful and grateful that our friends and family are supportive of our endeavor! Thank you, all of you, for walking this road with us!!  

**WARNING: Do not read this if you are looking for a cheerful blog entry.**

So, yes, I am a little discouraged this week. It was bound to happen, and I'm sure it will happen many more times before this adoption is completed. Why am I discouraged today? Well, I have sent out over 200 letters and a bunch of emails on our fund in the last two weeks and have not received even one response. I didn't think $25 was too much, but I guess it must crunch too many people. So, this equals discouraged. I really thought that these letters were going to bring in some financial support. I just don't see how we are going to do this financially...

 However, my rational faith-based side says that all is well: God is in control. His timing and ways of working things out are not my own. We are being obedient in God's call, so I know that His hand is in this and that He will make a way, even when it seems that there isn't one. I hope that this side of me will take over soon and kick out the discouraged side of me!!

 I will continue to pray, continue to seek out support, and continue to trust that God is working all of this out. Please pray for our little girl, wherever she may be. Please pray that here caregivers are loving and kind to her and show her how to be a child. Please pray for our fund and God's work in this area. 

God Bless!

Mandie 

We have received our government paperwork and have all of our documents (FINALLY!) together for our dossier. Next week will begin the last part of the dossier process: having all notaries verified and each document apostilled! This has taken almost 6 months, but luckily it hasn't seemed to be too long! 

Our next step after the documents are verified and apostilled will be to send in our dossier. After our dossier is submitted, it will be translated into Bulgarian and we will be registered with the Ministry of Justice. We are very excited about this!

 I will be sending out our first large mailing for the fund today. This is a big step and is the long-awaited "official" announcement to extended family and friends. I am looking forward to having them join us on our journey!

Dossier in the Works -- Your Help Is Needed

Well, things have been pretty busy! We are in the process of putting together fundraising packets for our fund! It is a lot of work, but very exciting! Our home study is going well; almost finished! Our social worker is wonderful and we love her! We've been attending our adoption education classes (a lot of great information!) and have been waiting for word from Holt. We finally got word last week that we were officially accepted into their Bulgaria program!! This was very exciting for us...it means that we can now get together our dossier to send to Bulgaria to be registered in their database of potential adoptive parents! This process will take us 2-4 months to complete. Meanwhile, we are continuing to educate ourselves, pray for our family, and trust God's guiding hand. Thank you for taking this journey with us! Please keep us in your prayers and pray for the child that will one day be ours! 

We had our first meeting for our home study on Friday! We love our social worker. She is very personable and very knowledgeable. Both Aaron and I are looking forward to working with her. In my previous blog entry I wrote about the amount of paperwork we had filled out in preparation for our first meeting...well, we had a whole new stack handed to us by the end of the meeting! There is sooooo much to write about and soooooo many questions they want answered! I spent most of Saturday getting through the stack so I don't have to worry about it while I am starting up "play season" at school this week! Aaron has been typing his stuff on the computer for about 1 1/2 hours now, and he's still going! I just keep in mind that with each paper we fill out, we are one step closer to our child. God is so faithful and I know that the day we long for shall come to pass! 

So, it is week two of vacation, and I feel as though all I've been doing is running around! The paper chase has begun! I've created a website, printed business cards, made address lists, secured a post office box, filled out applications, wrote a nineteen page biography, spent an hour at the bank opening a new account and discussing funding options, and the list keeps going! 

Well, some good news for the day: I passed my physical for our homestudy! They stuck me with needles (I won't go into too much detail there!), asked lots of questions, and wrote that I am physically and emotionally capable of parenting a child! Now, it's not as if I had doubts about that, but I guess it's up to the doctor! Everything seems to be up to someone else in this whole process!

I am very excited that I have completed so much in such a short time...I try not to look at how early we are in this process and how many more tasks are still listed on my never-ending "to-do" list. I continually remind myself that with each step I take into this process it is one more step closer to bringing my child home! I am beginning to learn that although I am not officially a "mommy" yet, I am beginning to sacrifice things for the better cause of "my child". I know that God's hand is in all of this, and I am excited to see how He will work out each and every detail, no matter how big or how small.

 Praise God!

Mandie 

Today is the beginning of our website! It is so exciting! I prayed to God for a way to find the funds to begin and complete our adoption, and I feel that this is the answer that was spoken in my heart -- the creation of the "25 to Life" fund! This is something that we can do together! I am very excited for the beginnings of this amazing fund. Thank you, God!

 Mandie