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Our Story
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Brandi & Larry |
When we started talking about babies in early 2003, we discussed our options, which were invitro-fertilization or adoption. The docs had told me that my fallopian tubes were blocked a few years earlier. They told me that I could try invitro-fertilization, but there were no guarantees. Honestly, the more I read about it, the scarier it sounded. Larry & I were both concerned about what the hormone shots and any failed cycles would do to my body,...and my mind. The more we talked, the more we leaned towards adoption. There are so many babies who are already born, who really need a mommy & daddy! |
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When we first started researching, I began with US adoption and foster care. First, I found out that there are people who wait years to adopt a baby in the US! (Many of these people are waiting for a caucasion infant, though.) I read the horror-stories of the families having their hearts broken when the birthmother suddenly changed her mind (after they paid for her prenatal care and hospital expenses of course.) Or, when the birthmother suddenly decides she wants her baby back after the adoptive parents have had the child in thier home! (I have since learned that these "movie of the week" scenarious are not common, but it was enough to start me researching international adoption.) I also ran across the phrase "the adoptive parent olympics", which I found very fitting. The person using this phrase was in trying to accurately describe the lengths that potential adoptive parents have to go to in the US, to "market themselves" to birth mothers. It's almost like running for political office! I've seen couples advertising themselves on adoption web sites, as the nicest couple, living in the best neighborhood with the nicest schools, etc. I honestly couldn't see Larry and I going through something like that. This process involves too many external "judgements" as it is. (Anyone who has been through a home study will know what I'm talking about here.) |
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All of the previous facts were a part my explanation to my grandparents who asked, "Why can't you just get a baby from here in this country?" The bottom line is that it just didn't make me feel comfortable. To those who do it, I take my hat off to you, because you're brave folks. |
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The fact that my husband Larry is half Chinese is primarily what started me researching adoption from China. There were other factors though, that helped us to finally choose China. First, while the process of adopting from China can be fairly long in comparison with adopting from other countries, there is usually a baby at the end. Second, adopting from China is slightly less expensive. (Unfortunately, money is a factor for two newlyweds & 1st time home owners!) I also found out that China only requires you to make one trip to the country, which is the trip to go & get your baby. (Russia, for example, requires you to make 2 trips.)
I found out that China has been doing international adoption since 1991, so they have a pretty predicable routine and process to follow. Adoption applications submitted to China are overseen and managed by a government agency (the CCAA), who are devoted solely to adoption! The pull to adopt from China, for me, became the strongest when I read an article about abandoned baby girls in China. It seems the combination of government's population control policy and poverty have caused the number of babies abandoned in China to become staggering. Something inside me just clicked and it all felt "right". Larry was onboard with whatever I decided. (I was the designated researcher and "paperwork gatherer" in our family.) |
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For all these reasons, we decided to adopt from China. We started our homestudy in July of 2003 and
our dossier was finally sent to China in December 2003. We believe it arrived in Beijing on Christmas Day.
In our application letter, we requested a baby girl, age 12-24 months and that she come from the same
province (Guangdong) in China that Larry's grandparents were from. |
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But the good people of the CCAA had other plans! On July 30th, 2004, we received a referral for a gorgeous,
17 month old little girl named He Zhao Xia.
(Pronounced "Hu-ah" "Zow" "She-ah"). Her name means "rosy clouds in the morning"...you know, like "red skies in the morning,
sailors take warning". Look out boys. :) |
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We were finally united with our daughter on September 13th, 2004 at the Civil Affairs office in the city of Changsha, Hunan Province in China.
On that day, we instantly became a family of three. No words can adequately describe the feelings and emotions of that meeting. We gave this little person a new name, which blends her old life, with her new life.
She is now Samantha Rose Zhao Xia. She is growing by leaps and bounds and amazes us every day. Thanks for stopping by and reading our story.--Brandi |
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