"ONE MAN'S JOURNEY TO UTOPIA…

…IS ANOTHER'S DESCENT INTO MADNESS"

Pick a song title below and CLICK-start your avalanche!!

DEFIANCE OF DESTINY

is this the end - full circle again?

no motion sickness this time - thickened, has my skin?

single shotgun blast, a grey and distant past

the time between hurled by so fast

when your head's stuck between your legs

every memory's just a pain in the ass

the finish line cannot be twice crossed

yet i loiter, linger, test the wind, lick my finger

(face it man you're lost)

i played this game all the way through

now crave the same challenge no substitute will do

(though victorious I've lost)

i defy my destiny trying to rewrite history

i decide my destiny, unbridled by monotony

time's running out, i'm running out, of excuses

i'm running out, i'm running out, of excuses

why are all the precious things reminiscent of so much grit

slipping through my palms?

angels wear no wings - bear no halo rings, only hallowed crimson masks

shit-eating grins stare within

i disrupted the fabric

cast truth's light on the magic

now i can move on

the struggle is gone

is that what i want?

all the fun lay in the journey, seemed so long

now pushed along, stop and glance back, i was wrong

i defy my destiny trying to rewrite history

i decide my destiny reviled by the powers that be

i'm run down, time's running out, tightening nooses

time's running out, time's running out, might not be loosened

is this the great beyond - departure from the way of song?

no music in my heart this time; i'm too exhausted to crawl

well at least i don't have to worry bout saying sorry

still can't help but wonder if she knows the full story

in any case - it's a closed book

another case closed - in the books

FIFTY-TWO

welcome to the winner's circle

take my seat, please, i need release

/refrain/ it's a fake kind of life, where i stake my life

on the flick of a wrist

the next one could be any of

52 lives and a pair of jokers (you and i)

/chorus/ i stack my deck...high

and let the chips fall

then the dust (does) rise

it's all solid in my eyes

it boils down to...

just another game of pickup in the end

never up the ante, simmer down vanity

know when is best to hedge all bets

call it quits, regroup, plan the next coup

some extra borrowed time

to catch up on all the lies

time for that introspective chat

got to convince myself that i don't have a problem

life dealt a shitty curveball hand is all

met a bitch who took me for all is all

since when does history repeat?

never met the house i couldn't defeat

just gotta hang in there

quitters never prosper

maybe only cheaters win

food for thought, i'm starving

flat broke, and broken

/refrain/

/chorus/

i stack my deck high

lady luck by my side

on my lap - in my ear

all or nothing, not a care

i rest my head down

and i will not rise

until the sun does

i'm so tired of bad luck

it boils down to...

just another game of pickup in the end

LADY MACBETH SYNDROME

There is blood on my hands

But yours are so clean

You fucking hypocrite

I'm so fucking sick of it

Guilt is not a spectator sport

Fuck your superstition

Of atonement by the Lord

Remember that one thing you did?

Expect to burn in hell for it

(Play it safe, false hope is a bitch)

But it was only once, you're innocent...

Hell is within you, and you're there forever

Your mind burns - the tide turns

And all your skeletons wash ashore

For all whose opinion you respect to see

Next time cast them farther out to sea

They'll just detest you even more

Your soul churns, stomach turns

Cannot ever wash away

The blood caked and dried from yesterday

All the guilty deserve to burn forever

Don't hear me excluding myself, do you?

There is blood on my hands

Yours are fucking pristine?

Just face the facts, bury the hatchet

And get to know your demons

They're not going anywhere

Lady MacBeth syndrome

Hatred, at best, it slows

Once it gets on you - under your skin

(warped soul within)

You're never the same

Typecast stigma of reprobate

There is a finite line

To cross is the loss of your mind

As it once was

Once upon an innocent ignorant time

There's blood on my hands

But yours are so clean

Blood on my hands

Yours are fucking pristine

Join the club of the murderous

Check your soul at the door

Shaking hands & mingling blood

We are all killers and whores

AMERICIDE

The answer is eminent - crush the domain

The indebted wages of sin: incalculable slain

Choke on some freedom fries...Americide!!!!!!!!

An entire nation bled -

A real American tragedy

Coz you can't collect taxes from the dead

Willfully ignorant harmony is frugality

Exterminate the concept, purge the ideal

Of hollow hypocritical liberty so stale

The marked-up land of the free,

Former home of the expatriated braves

Is borne no animosity by me

Nor what it stands for, or its indigenous slaves

My enemy is the system created by the long-dead ruling pigs

Long since evolved into its own sentient being

With no mind of its own but a will to exhume

Every cent from those who believe in and die for its worth

I say kill the system - it won't be a bloodless revolution

Would you rather a hundred men rot in a prison -

Than trample a few to clear the escape route?

They don't even need to die - only kill their minds

A virus in the hand - sever the entire arm

The plague choking our land - never will withdraw

Until we inject ourselves with the self-awareness

To own up, and fucking turn our ways inside out

PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT STEAL THE INNOCENCE

Oh... how I want that day again

Or better yet the day before

I think that's where it all began

At least, from then on, it got worse

"You are so beautiful... I'm sorry I'm crying...

It's just that spark - that youthful spark in your eye

That wondrous twinkle of primal beauty untouched

I hope you can hold onto that forever - good luck"

Shadowing me - sucking the light from my eye like a weed

Big man... big fucking man... my interpretation of Satan

The blood on your hands appeals to my tears

A silent plea for vengeance - I am more than willing to oblige

It's people like you that steal the innocence

~ I once saw a man kick another man in the eye

While holding his victim's mullet in his hand

Just for insulting his favorite band; and that poor guy -

For the first time I watched someone senselessly bleed

And then for good measure, I guess, the big tough creep

Bitch-slapped the crying girlfriend - message sent

Yeah, Jackal rocks - down with those who disbelieve!

~ Saw a bunch of kids with rocks in their reared fists

Huddled around a trashcan in the rain

At the bottom - an injured, newborn stray

Mewling - not understanding, but withstanding the pain

Just long enough for me to see

Witness borne - the avenging angel - I was awaited

But too young and full of fear to exact justice

I ran home and hid in a closet (I've hated myself ever since)

Should have let the demon out and fucking slaughtered those kids

Shadowing me - sucking the light from my eye like a weed

Big man... big fucking man... my interpretation of Satan

The blood on your hands appeals to my tears

A silent plea for vengeance - I am more than willing to oblige

It's people like you that steal the innocence

~ My new psycho-analyst, special friend

Had a trustworthy smile, devoid of condescension

This refreshing approach opened me up

I opened the corroded artery to my metaphorical heart

And I told you dark, desolate, private things

(The thought of it now makes my inner demon spread its wings)

A compassionate hand where it didn't belong

Your embrace unwanted, surprisingly strong

Then you took me out for donuts, a special treat for a special guy

I told you your secret was safe, and then I said to fucking die

Hot coffee in your lap will cure a boner, you sick pedophile dick!

~ Don't ever take for granted how fucking much some people suck

Take YOU, for instance, worthless greaseball deadbeat schmuck

You throw an alarm clock radio at my baby brother?! (your own son)

Rip a door off its hinges just to intimidate my mother? (yer so tough)

Then you fucking dare to mention my father's name?

Don't ever let your guard down near me again!

I still remember the last time you lay a hand on me

Can still feel the handprint burn on my cheek

Can already anticipate the taste of revenge - so sweet

Shadowing me - sucking the light from my eye like a weed

Big man... big fucking man... my interpretation of Satan

The blood on your hands appeals to my tears

A silent plea for vengeance - I am more than willing to oblige

It's people like you that steal the innocence

~ World, I tell you, you should be really impressed

With the level of self-control I've kept - been so good and patient

I deserve a massacre - something powerful to fill the void...

To all of you who steal the innocence...

I would die a thousand deaths to make you innocent, just once

Just to steal it away the very next moment

And let you know how it feels to be spiritually robbed

I want so bad to trade my life on this earth towards this purpose

But just the same as with the stoned kitten in the can

I am unable to help my fellow man

Paralyzed by fear and self-doubt

Want to offer my innocence, spread it throughout

But I feel so powerless - and far from innocent

~ Everyone has a sense of right and wrong

Nothing is more righteous than making the weak feel strong

So when I see some uneven shit going on

The avenging angel, in shadow, will dawn

I will assume my rightful role as forceful undoer of wrong

People like you that steal the innocence:

I WON'T LET YOU DO IT AGAIN

NOT TO ANYONE ELSE!!!!

"That infinite curiosity - don't ever lose that...please"

My apologies, that promise shattered long ago

Still, I vow to do what I can to rectify the world

VIGILANTE JUSTICE

I ~ reach down deep within myself

Defy ~ all the odds (and all the gods can damn me all they want)

I ~ blaze a path of glory straight to hell

Why ~ must I justify my instinct to survive?

Hounded by loyal pawns of vocal pundits

Hunted by an angry mob that won't be sundered

I ~ am a latter day renegade

Try as you might - can't take that away

I ride the night - in search of evil to cast away

My own personal definition of evil

Any threat to the decent people

Their black hearts will beat one last time

In my black leather glove, then I ball a fist and pulverize

I ~ reach down deep within myself

Defy ~ all the odds and all the gods can damn me all they want

I ~ blaze a path of glory straight to hell

Why ~ must I justify my instinct to survive?

Hounded by loyal pawns of vocal pundits

Hunted by an angry mob that won't be sundered

I ~ am a latter-day renegade

Try as you might - you can't take that away

All that I own is each breath that I take

Not a gift nor a loan I earn or I hate

Burned at the stake coz I break your mold

Different from you the flames seeming cold

I will decimate your world and live by force

I ~ am a latter-day renegade

Try though you might - you can't take that away

In case you couldn't tell by the look on my face

I mean it when I say that I won't be effaced

Well I ain't straight-laced and far from normal

Can't erase the map of the places I've gone, no

I shall continue to live in grace by all due force

I ~ am a latter-day renegade

Try as hard as you like - you can't fuck with me

BY GOD, FOR GOD

On the eighth and final day

Wanna see you wallow amongst the peons

Down with the heavens

Cut you down to size

All that you've built

Needs to be spilt

Open the floodgates

To wash away your lies

By God...for God...

Why God why?

(Don't tell me you forgot)

I am not your lamb

Feed me lies and

I will bite your hand

Invoke your wrath - blaspheme irreverently?

We should all be so bold

Thereby unravel the tangled web of every

Paralyzing, fear-inducing untruth told

Your good book makes for some revelational reading

I skim through every night, probing for your weakness

Hapless creator, beguiling dictator of souls

By God...for God...

Why God why?

(Don't tell me you forgot)

Understand this, your omniscience:

No deity is guaranteed asylum from deposition

Eternal thanks to you for the free will

I guess you figured it could do no harm (it will)

Your greatest gift - such that I can say this:

Fuck you, you piece of holy shit!!!

DAS WUNDERKIND

Scream for the uninitiated!!!!

All souls scream one time all at once

Scream in unison for the uninitiated

Poor fucking souls, senselessly created

To destroy is to liberate

My dark philosophy

Will never be taught

Or even regarded as valid

But disavow yourself

Of your ties to this world

And find a hole in my logic

The argument is solid!

Doom - prescribed for all mankind

Scrap this world - start over

It is all within my power

I am the golden child of oblivion

The harbinger of chaos - my orders are clear

Six months and six days after I turned six years old

Satan came to me and swindled my soul

"When you become a man you shall do my bidding -

Lying dormant until you hear the trigger:

The fallacy of mortal men - their own unawareness"

Doom...doom...doom - I can almost taste it

Scream...scream...scream for the uninitiated!

The fallacy of mortal men is their own unawareness

Enlightenment comes at a fixed price

Your soul's everlasting torment will suffice

WHY TO DIE

You see this pain?

Can you hear it?

This shit is real

Exposed again

Cannot feel this pain

Nor can you heal

Don't appreciate your empathy

All your pity is in vain

To this swine your pearls are worth the shit I wallow in

Now I am self-conscious

You think I want support

Always done fine on my own

Your aid is unasked for

I speak now only to fault you

Rub your nose in it

Like a naughty kitty who took a shit on the living room floor

This world is a two-bit whore

I won't be paying the pimp no more

If need be take all one hundred fifty pounds

Of my flesh to even the score

Fair is fair but nothing ever is

The God I've never met is a hypocrite

The sins of the father revisit the son

How can Jesus be the pure one?

The avalanche of anger within me

How - why - where - when - did it begin?

It started as but a small ball of fear

Nobody wanted to hear or listen

Your apathy is the x-factor feeding my exponential wrath

One frightened man alone asking 'friend or foe?'

A billion 'undecided' or 'unknowns' - YOU DO THE FUCKING MATH

Pain is not a spectator sport

It's a pastime, bandwagon, get on board

This world is a two-bit whore

Virus of misery leaks from her open sores

Castration is the path to salvation

Painful to admit, but what isn't?

To wit...

INNER DEMONS DANCE

I've got demons and I've got issues

Got skeletons in the closet

Yes I'm reprobate like you

There's nothing wrong with me

That's right with you

There's just this song in me

If that's alright by you

My mind is full of revelry

A thin veneer over deep wells of madness

No different from anybody

Why do you think we fabricate happiness?

PROVOCATION

I am nothing

Nothing is all there is

There is no point in trying to exist

In a world this mad

This is so very maddening

This very world is the same one

That built me up to believe in myself

Believe me, nothing built

Remains intact forever

Forever is a long time

To kill me myself I

I stare into the mirror

That vicious vindictive bastard

Hear the collective voice of my critics...

Unified

You don't even resemble yourself

Too proud to resent yourself

(Was there ever a time you remembered yourself?)

Everything would be okay if I

Never again had to look anybody in the eye

Well I contemplated death for awhile

No - make that ten years

And my new attitude towards dying

Is more anticipation than fear

I grieve - for myself, for my soul

And believe - in myself, in my soul

I won't leave - wouldn't know where to go

And it seems - that you know how it goes

I stare into the mirror

That vicious vindictive bastard

Hear the collective voice of my critics...

Unified

You don't even resemble yourself

Too proud to resent yourself

(Was there ever a time you remembered yourself?)

Everything would be okay if I

Never again had to look anybody in the eye

AND IT BEGS THE QUESTION

A long road with many stones unturned

And questions unanswered

And here we are at the acme

That we made it this far is kind of hard to believe

From this height my sight goes on for miles

And I don't like what lies in wait below, no

And it begs the question (Why?)

And I question the system

That put us in this position

And it begs the question...

Does a man's destination determine his destiny?

What matters more, the way I carry myself,

Or where the wind should carry me?

And here we are at the acme

That we made it this far is kind of hard to believe

From this height my sight goes on for miles

And I don't like what lies in wait below, no

But that can change and so can I

I'm thinking maybe fate is not so contrived (after all)

We've reached the apex, baby - can you feel the liberty?

Nothing left for you and I to do but free-fall

DIPSY-DOODLE

Hey hey hey hey...

/refrain/ Hey guess what

I finally thought

Of something to say

Hey! No way!

Nevermind

I'm just killing time

There's never time

To kill the mind

There's always a seed

Staring through the oblivion

With those sad, questioning eyes

Why? Why? Why?

You masochistic fuck!

You're not the only one you hurt!

Think of every other motherfucker

That exists deep within your consciousness

We want to be happy

You're too chickenshit

To give it a try.

Why? Why? Why?

Thing is, we know, we just like saying it.

Why, fucker?????

/refrain x2/

I need some serious help

But I don't want it

They do - but fuck them

I'll lash out at you

If you come near me

Can't have it both ways

Can't love and fear me

/refrain/

Good thing I was fucking born!!!!

If life is a beautiful blossom I'm the rose-thorn

HARK THE VICTIMS

~ Pain is precious

You don't deserve it

You haven't worked hard enough

~ Stop feeling

Sorry for yourself

That shit is getting contagious

Real life is hard to come by

We wallow in a collective dream

Chained, locked, and sealed -

Our eyes

Only to be opened and freed

With the elusive skeleton key -

Buried

With our bones of contention -

Deep

In our consciousness

But I can deal with it

I am resourceful

Pain - my natural resource

Quickly burned through

My tank is always half empty

And I - Ever full of pain

An inexhaustible supply

I'm so tired of this dream

But I am responsible for my

Own selfish need for sleep

~ Pain is precious

You don't deserve it

You haven't worked hard enough

~ Stop feeling

Sorry for yourself

That shit is getting contagious

The skeleton key fits in my eyehole

For you to be free - got to penetrate my skull

Who's willing to sacrifice their place as a martyr

For the sacred sake of saving us all?

I didn't think so...you're so pathetic

God fuck you, every one

DUSTBUNNY

Several billion idealists

Your blood runs thin, diluted

Like your ideals so convoluted

Thinly veiling a mask behind a mask

Beneath that - I dare not (care not) ask

Fuck your shit I'm sick of your sickness and depravity

Those of thinnest blood are the ones I shall first bleed

I will bleed you all

Indignant even in defeat

You pose this question to me

"Who the fuck are you?"

Got that condescending eyebrow raised too

Who am I?

Nothing at all (something small)

Just a dustbunny - but looking back, it's funny

I'm the dustbunny who bled the fucking world

MARROWFEEDER

Those who wish to live - Make way!

Everybody else is welcome to stay

This is the untrodden path of slaughter

If you fall on this track you're as good as fodder

/pre/ I'm so hungry / So I'm hunting

And you better hide / All night -

Until the morning light / Then I take my respite

During the day I rest / Let my prey digest

Safe to say your safest bet / Is to take flight - out of sight

/chorus/ Marrowfeeder - Got the maroon fever

I'm the Taurus unleashed

Take heed - I'm a one man stampede

Creature of simple needs / You bleed; I feed

Tell me / Where are the lines to read between?

What form did Zeus take to rape Europa?

What was Heracle's greatest test?

What else has crimson eyes that make a grown man

Quiver like a windswept hornet's nest?

No bull / The moon is full

Reflecting solar fire / Igniting deep-lain ire

And the marrowfeeder is ready to charge

Swift, lethal, merciless and large

And headed in your direction

If you fail to find some shelter

Better pay your debtors

And make peace with god

Won't be in one piece for very long

/pre/ I'm so hungry / So I'm hunting

And you better hide / All night -

Until the morning light / Then I take my respite

During the day I rest / Let my prey digest

Safe to say your safest bet / Is to take flight - out of sight

/chorus/ Marrowfeeder - Got the maroon fever

I'm the Taurus unleashed

TURTLENECK

Oh hell no - here we go

Glowering across the crowded bar

Liquored up and adrenal off the chart

A wag of the head and it gets serious

I crack my knuckles, laugh, and blow a kiss

Yeah it's on - here he comes

Cocky prep in a turtleneck

A true-blue (red & white) thoroughbred

Your mind thoroughly assimilated

Into the assembly line and recreated

On triggered impulse you detest me

I'm a fag commie atheist, an unclean freak -

An enemy!

Them's fightin' words - talking it out is for the birds

Throw down - we're gonna go round and round

I throw a left and a right, leave you right there on the ground

Put em up, put em up, put em up!

I'm gonna put you down and drink down your blood

I know your type - can see through your eyes

Can predict your ideal of a grand-prize perfect life:

A nice white house in a nice white neighborhood

A full bar with Bud Light on ice in your bedroom

And waiting to serve you there - a beautiful wife

On whom you can cheat - what an American dream!

(You stupid boring suburban neanderthal stereotype)

Yeah I remember your kind, alright - in a dark corner of my mind

It was guys like you that stuffed me in lockers

(For countless hours on end)

You made me fight the class retard like a couple of dogs

(Rabid and underfed - just for your amusement)

You knocked up every girl with half-developed breasts

You knocked down every nerd in your path on your way to class

Went on wild trips to Canada, aspiring to be a football star

The ratio of you fucking preppy shitheads to Stonehenge

Ought to be zero to one

Them's fightin' words - talking it out is for the birds

Throw down - we're gonna go round and round

I throw a left and a right, leave you right there on the ground

Put em up, put em up, put em up!

I'm gonna put you down and drink down your blood

Kick the stool out from under you

Not a clue just who you're fucking with

I am gonna slap you like a bitch

I HATE YOUR EXISTENCE

Don't fucking look at me

I hate that expression that you make

Don't ask me what I mean

The one you're wearing on your face

It's somewhere between

Revulsion, pity, fear, and hate

Wanna know, what's my beef?

Try: the world and all its sordid ways

I hate the existence of the unwholesome everything

And damn to kingdom come undone all who stand in my way

I hate your existence...I hate everything

Hate existence, eighty-six it

I hate my existence

I hate this song that I sing

Hatred consumed the innocent child that I once was

This hateful soul before you is the waste, an acrid by-product

I hate your existence

Just because you have seen me like this

I hate all existence

The whole world is tainted by my mere presence

Hate my existence

Take my existence

Can not do it on my own

Although I spend every moment practicing the art of self-loathe

I fear myself too much to do something about it

Hate and fear are hard to tell apart

Wait and stare into the dark depths of my heart

Sooner or later the sick irony will erupt from within

The meaning of life - it's the antecedent of death

I will spread this message the world over if not stopped

So for the hate of God cut me the fuck off

Hate me enough to annihilate me

After all - I hate you

I hate the existence of the unwholesome everything

And damn to kingdom come undone all who stand in my way

I hate your existence...I hate everything

Hate existence, eighty-six it

What a fucking hateful being!

CONSTRICTED

Choke the life from me

This ain't no joke - you lied to me

Daedalus...

Father...

How could you do this to your only son?

Of all your promises, the only thrilling one

Was reaching up to touch the sun ~ Yeah.

"Spread those wings and fly"...

Never thought you knew I'd die

After the fall whereupon I was abandoned

By all but your call

I caught your tearful eye

As you made your great escape

Through the murky surface

I could see I'd not be saved

And now this monstrosity of the sea

Chokes the life from me

May as well be you

I'll see you in Hades when your time is due

And scream

Father!

How could you -

Why would you -

Be so untrue?

What did I ever do?

Unforgiven crime

Try to justify.

Choke the life from me

This ain't no joke you fucking lied to me

You fucking bastard - I'll get you back

One of these days, I fucking swear

PROMETHEUS' SILENT WRATH

Crestfallen laughingstock

Of the bastard titan brood

My feats sung in the key of misery

A ballad excluded from the heroes' history

Eternally unappreciated

Daily eviscerated

I gave unto you all the element of fire

Like Raistlin in the Abyss

Or damned Confucian Sisyphus

This debt to the gods' wounded pride

Is paid in years of blood, wounded eyes

Can see no light at the end

Only memory illuminates

My bequeathed legend -

I gave...unto you all...the element of FIRE

Had I eternity to rewrite at my whim

Man and god and titan alike

Would burn at the touch of my rescinded gift

Forever is a long time to burn

Never to be snuffed I await cathartic immolative return

I GAVE...UNTO YOU ALL...THE ELEMENT OF FIRE

ADVENTURES IN FUTILITY

One man's journey to utopia

Is another's descent into madness

I don't know if I am the creation of something higher

Or just spontaneous life that crawled up from the mire

I am left with no alternative

But to simply stick it out and live

And I wander...

No destination

I wander -

Seeking definition

One man's journey to utopia

Is another's descent into madness

Home is where I hang myself

Until the end of the road - I'll never rest

Pushing forward I never stop

This willful motion, so like that of a shark

Tattoos my eyes the color of roses

I know I'll never rise from the moment I close them

So I wander

In search of something higher

As I wander

Through this dismal endless mire

A bubble of thought breaks the surface of my turbulent sea of ire

Whoever penned the map of my life is blind or a fucking liar.

One man's journey to utopia

Is another's descent into madness

ETIQUETTE OF GENOCIDE

There's always a right way and a wrong way

Even when right and wrong have been waylaid

The etiquette of genocide

Never let a soul survive

To be the last, alone - how horrifying!

Women and children first

For every man thirsts

To die the noble death

Of his people's avenger

Let martyrs ply their trade

Shred the eyes off their face

To prevent any glances exchanged

That might expose them as truly afraid

Fire is a splendid way to annihilate

Symbolic, dramatic, and leaves nary a trace

Scatter the ashes upon ashes of dead

Into the wind, so the freedom of flight is theirs in the end

Make sure you remember the face of each victim

Tattoo it upon your soul - say a prayer for them at night

Their memory is your responsibility, spoils to the victor

This is the etiquette of genocide.

EGREGIOUS CONCEIT OF THE SUPERGOD

You've heard the word

And it rolled off your back

You wrote it off as

Simple superstition

Yes you've heard the word

And despite your lack of faith

Deep down inside you rest assured

That your fate awaits

And then one day

It comes down down down

And you don't know

If it's going to turn

And double back tomorrow

Such is the price you pay

For trying to outshine

The gilded sunrays

Live forever, forever in fear - not a shred of pity from those

Whose untimely death served to secure your place there

The egregious conceit of the supergod...

Deification just not enough for ya?

Had to go and take it to the next level

Oh! The egregious conceit of the supergod

Arrogance is such a mortal flaw

ANIKI

Second-guessing

Condescension

A dubious expression

Eyebrow raised

As though to question

All ways to fabricate

A sense of inferiority

This need to be better

It seems that a fellow

Who just wants to do his thing

Free of trespass, without trespassing

Is in the slim minority

I know you know I know what I'm doing

But I'm still fucking paranoid and I don't

Like people looking over my shoulder

Don't you know I know you know what I'm doing

You're watching everything I do

Fuck....you!!!!

Big brother, big fucking deal

The watched are the feared

And there's generally a reason for it

Well, you can start to be scared

Watch the way I snap, you've been warned

Your spineless back for but one moment turns

And like that you are blackened, unrecognizably burned

I know you know I know what I'm doing

But I'm still fucking paranoid and I don't

Like people looking over my shoulder

Don't you know I know you know what I'm doing

You're watching everything I do

Fuck....you!!!!

Fuck you and whoever sent you

Tell them what you saw me do

Dropped my pants around my ankles

Turned and gave something to view

PULVERIZE

Pulverize...All...Under the skies!

Pulverize...All...Within sight!

Point to the heavens

And scream "you're next"

Nothing cannot be achieved

When wrath fuels your deeds

Jump at the opportunity

Rise to the occasion

The liberation of their blood is your impunity

In it write your name on the skulls of the brazen

Don't just believe it - seize it

Squeeze the living light out from the day

Don't just do it - overkill

No such thing as too many slain

If some of them are innocent

Write them off as broken eggs

Pulverize them all

Just because you can

Pulverize those motherfuckers

Show them who's the man

The burning pulse in your vein

Is molten venom, let it rain

Down from the unforgiving skies

Nowhere for the peons to hide

All will be pulverized -

And it's about damn time.

A much grander finale than simply 'everybody dies'

We're talking force of a nuclear asteroid

An entire world fucking pulverized

Maybe if anyone ever fucking listened

Things might have been different

Fuck it, pulverize, there are no innocents

AGAINST THE WORLD

I don't like my odds

Against the enemy

They sure as hell

Don't favor me

Looks to me

The outlook is bleak

But when it seems

Your only hope

Is surrender

You know you've got to

Reprise your role

As defender

Got to

Face your fears head-on

Or else you

Needn't be afraid for long

(At all)

Needn't be afraid at all

If you've

Got someone to keep you strong

Got someone

To mourn you when you're gone

When you're gone

All that will remain is this song

This ode

To that courageous one

The one who

Stood against the world

Still you can be heard -

I don't like my odds

Against the enemy

They sure as hell

Don't favor me

Me, love

I am the chosen one

SCHIZO MOTH

(~ Sometimes I think I am Jesus reborn…

Every other waking moment, treat myself with scorn ~)

I ~ am a beautiful butterfly

I'm so fucking ugly, wanna die (x3)

Want to return to the cocoon

Draw me to the open flame

This is my lot, a schizophrenic moth

My existence is not justified

I ~ am a beautiful butterfly

I'm so fucking ugly, wanna die (x1)

Want to return to the cocoon

Draw me to the open flame

This is my lot, a schizophrenic moth

My existence is not justified (x2)

Kill all the insecure / Kill all the insecure

When the sun comes up

Makes the moon shine brighter (x2)

I ~ am a beautiful butterfly

I'm so fucking ugly, wanna die (x3)

Want to return to the cocoon

Draw me to the open flame

This is my lot, a schizophrenic moth

My existence is not justified

Kill all the politicians

Kill all the hippie scum

Kill all the Eskimos

Keep them on their frost-bit toes

Kill all the unprepared

Kill all the insecure

Massacre the ignorant righteous pure

Sun comes up and the moon shines brighter

Isn't it funny how the load seems lighter

When it's breaking the back of another?

How the other half lives - maybe better - ever wonder?

If lightning dies what becomes of the thunder?

Kill the sun, the moon shines on its own, brightest of all

"UNTITLED" IS A TERRIBLE CLICHE`

Only everything internal is significant

Stimuli before your eyes are afterthoughts, cosmic shit

I secrete my own narcotics -

From the comfort of my own glands

Got no interest in robotics

Call me old-fashioned, the son of my old man

So it's never quite the same

That is no excuse for apathy

Can not ever quit the game

Life's greatest challenge is suspense

Ignore the aftertaste (it's attenuatedly acquired)

The mysteries within

Hold more fascination

Than any science fiction

Fuck the robots

Forget the dinosaurs

Shun the future

Regret the prehysteric

Now is when you are the seed of infinity

Swallow that!

Put aside your need(le)s, bottles and bongs

Look inside and read yourself - lyrics to a song

In the key of life and death

You see I never needed help triggering an escape

From reality's shackles

I secret my own narcotics -

From the comfort of my own glands

Got no interest in robotics

Call me old-fashioned, the son of my old man

Fuck the robots

Forget the dinosaurs

Shun the future

Regret the prehysteric

It would be a terrible shame

To wake up one day and not exist

It would be a terrible waste

To live an insignificant life of hard-working ignorance

I myself never needed any help

Triggering an escape from reality's shackles

But it ain't always that easy

Got to find your own way out of the maze

DISGRUNTLED AS A HUMAN BEING

Awake - I'm unhinged

And free to look at this

Now look here

I ride a wave of wrath

Multiply the aftermath

The vicious cycle's back on track

Now let's try and make it last

I'm tired of phony pathos

Inspired by charlatan assholes

Fuck yeah

The only peace I have ever known

Is the piece of my mind you're searching for

I can't imagine less

From a world that's such a mess

Sure, you're confused (like us all) but heck

Know the order in which we peck, boy!

Wanna incite a mass defection

From the politics of correctness

Fuck yeah

The only reason I've never grown

Is the cancer eating away mind body and soul

(Is the cancer eating away rhyme reason and soul)

I ride a wave of wrath

Multiply the aftermath

The vicious cycle's back on track

Now let's try and make it last

I can't imagine less

From a world that's such a mess

Sure, you're confused (like us all) but heck

Know the order in which we peck, boy!

Fuck yeah

Peace and reason don't exist

But in stories and my sense of hope's sheer grit

Tell me how to live

Slab of mind on a sieve

Your word's a precious gift

I wipe my ass with it!

AIR TO BREATHE

Feels so much better now

Congratulations -

My black cloud you've dispelled

If only for a moment

Congratulations -

My demons you have felled

Your warmth scorches them

Halting my torment (if only for a moment)

Kudos...

You know...

Nothing, forget it

Just don't disremember

Congratulations -

My black cloud you've dispelled

If only for a moment

If only...

Congratulations

And a thousand thank-you's

RELINQUISH

Standing overlooking the edge

He measures the drop in his head

From the pit at the bottom to the top of his head

Will it be deemed worthwhile?

That is entirely his choice in the end

Or else - the man alone has lost

Mankind retracts its own back into the fold

But at what cost? (Immeasurable!)

If you call him back from the edge

You give individuality that fatal shove

Better to watch worsen, live & let than

To drown a person in a shower of compliments

Or alligator tears - after all, all he hears

Is "relinquish all your ideals"

All numb, they won't let him feel at all

As much peer pressure as air pressure at the bottom of the lake

EMPHATIC

A course of action not unlike

Any other from a shadowed time

Why doesn't it make a lick of difference ever?

Mortality I can live with, but I want to taste nectar

A collective vacuum never sated

Makes one question the purpose of creation

Was it for the sheer fuck of it? It's cruel...

But it makes you feel like a circuitous spiral

Somehow more complete - but less than vital

No masterpiece it's true - but in the image

Of our maker - makes sense it'd be cruel

Round and round we go, an obsolete plaything

Our shelflife failed to outlive our self-awareness

And therein lies the manufacturer's defect

Exclaim your name and await validation

Wait...

ARCANE PT. I (CHRIST WOULD SMOKE MARLBOROS)

That grace so often sung of

Not amazing so much as numbing

Unfortified minds surrender with ease

Inverted thought is hard; we are weak

Contrive a reverse scapegoat; praise Jesus

A coathanger pierced his reborn stillborn fetus

In our world of whirling weathervanes

Confusion cloaked by headline logos

A true would-be savior would be numbing the pain

Wallowing among us, he would drink and smoke

Until like us realizing there is no hope

Forego the martyrdom of crucifixion for solace of the rope

My God endorses dope, say yes, amen, overdose

On a Eucharist cheeseburger we choke

ARCANE PT. II (NEED TO KNOW WITHDRAWAL)

Ever met a spiritual, "liberated" person?

A slave to ritual, to be certain

Meditating and wasting time in your short life

Trying to Ask Why instead of Saying Thanks

The whore on the street poisons your body

Far worse, the one on t.v. infectiously rotting

The feeble-willed sweet tooth you claim as a soul

Could feed your kids but you need to know

How their education, marriage, or career will go

This is not a harsh criticism; you have a sickness

Trying too hard to be well & stay out of hell

So desperate not to seem a speck of dust

We are all spiritual people - we have souls (isn't that enough?)

No knowledge set in stone lasts the test of time...all rusts.

THIRD SACRILEGE OF THE ARCANE TOME

A people raised on believing

Speaking to a different beat, I must speak evil

Perched on a box of soap I preach to the unclean

Is there merit to my teachings? No, indeed

My opinion is insignificant, besides, who would listen?

Instead I offer simple advice to take or leave as you will

A grain of salt may help, but don't bother your neighbor

For a cup of sugar - it's the coating over truth

Believe in yourself and nobody else

Sound selfish? Being human what else did you expect?

Be true to yourself unto the flames of hell

At least you'll have that sense of freedom in the end

I promise no heavenly returns, but in turn

That's a promise I'll never break. Break the magic spell.

Tell your slave-driving savior you choose freedom in hell

ARCANIA IN CONCLUSION

There is no magic, no nirvana, no God

Life is a struggle thrust upon us.

Another tragic misfortune of our inherited bad luck -

Is that we never were meant to understand

Here the line becomes diminished and blurred

Between natural and supernatural - merely words

Both standing for concepts we cannot comprehend

Not to the level of divinity with which we are compelled

Having no creator to tell us we are an accident

We create our own, in our image, and emulate it

The irony is wretched - and yet blessed

True, there is no magic, nirvana, or God

Hard lives, many a cold night, harsh and long

Yet we have laughter; we love, grow, and learn

Not for nothing, I say let the boring world turn

THREE THOUGHTS (FROM THE BELL CURVE APEX)

~ No one's going to eat the dollop

Of whipped cream

On my nipple ~

~ I wanna shoot the governor

In the face

With a bullet from a gun

Made in America ~

~ There sure are a lot of Chinese people

In the world

And that doesn't even count

The ones in outer space ~

~ No one's going to eat the dollop

Of whipped cream

On my nipple ~

~ I wanna shoot the governor

In the face

With a bullet from a gun

Made in America ~

~ There sure are a lot of Chinese people

In the world

And that doesn't even count

The ones in outer space ~

WIMBLY - LEGEND OR WRETCH?

What a sad, sad, smile he had

That's what the kids say on the courtyard nowadays

Wimbly was a schoolteacher who cried himself to sleep

His students loved to mock him and the pretty girl did tease

But Wimbly was a kind old soul with character to spare

When the other adults lost their patience and began to swear

He'd just shake his head and say - there, now, there…

Every night old Wimbly went home alone at the ring of the bell

School let out at four by quarter past he was up his front steps

Nobody knew, or asked, just where - but Wimbly understood

That didn't mean they didn't care, that's not how people are

The deep of the night just under the surface -

A roped-off tent in the corner of the normalcy circus

The clock struck half past midnight

And in less than two more minutes time

Mr. Wimbly'd stuck his dick

In a jar of peanut butter

Soon it became a nightly routine

Until waking to face the day made Wimbly shudder

Because he knew he'd have to look the pretty girl in the eye

And while trying to nurture that bright young mind

Recalling just what it was that happened last night

Every night Old Wimbly stuck his dick

In a jar of peanut butter

Alone in his cabin at the center of the universe

A tree fell in the woods nearby

Nothing ever happened

As far as Wimbly's friends or anyone else could descry

Except that he really had no friends

Acquaintances, colleagues, and folk around the bend

One can only guess that he was waiting for someone to guess

What was wrong - only that was just it - nobody wanted to know

Either he realized that, or maybe he just wanted to end his habit

The facts remain - like a new coat of paint

Whereas memory is kind of faded and grey

Memories, say - of a sad, sad smile

One night Wimbly choked to death

On a peanut butter-coated severed phallus

Left a note for the pretty girl saying

Please don't waste your God-given talents

The courtyard folk now call peanut butter the stuff of legend

Really, the more public the ordeal gets, the more tragic

And therefore this song hereby comes to an end

Somewhere Wimbly's crying himself to eternal sleep

UNSEXY

Do you feel sexy when you're being a cold-hearted bitch?

I don't think you're sexy

I don't think you're sexy

I don't think you're sexy

And I know that hurts you

Do you feel sexy when you suck on a stranger's dick?

I don't think you're sexy

I don't think you're sexy

I don't think you're sexy

And that's just so important to you

I don't think you're sexy

Not sexy at all

You weren't at all like this when we met

And I'm sorry to say this but it's God's honest truth

I wish maybe that you had died way back then

So I could remember only the good in you

DAY OF THE WEAK

Wolves make for lousy shepherds

Always underestimating the wretched

On the day of the weak

The lambs will rise

The tools of their intended slaughter

Forment your demise

Come the day of the weak

Who survives?

Certainly not any sharp-fanged

Enemy of mine

On the preceding eve

The weak conspired

The wolf, taken by surprise

Is devoured alive

No less than just deserve

For the one who massacred so many herds

Wolf, if you're listening

Your time is dwindling

Consider yourself warned

The weak rule this day

And the sheep lead the horde

On this day of the weak, we rise

Eons of unreleased rage burns in our eyes

ANTIHERO

Charlatan I am

A charlatan I am

A charlatan...yeah I am

Kindly deflect your expectations

Cannot accept your exultations

Cut the fanfare, won't you disappear?

Despite all the hype

I'm still afraid of heights

Can I climb that mountain?

I don't know...just don't know

Built up to be a paragon

Of all the secret desires within everyone

I'm living a lie it's plain as day on my face

Proof is in the pudding my legend is a farce

Why do you find it necessary to waste your praise?

Beneath all the attention nobody makes a mention

Of the fact that I am falling apart

(Of my systematic falling apart)

My systematic...

The fact that I am...

Despite all the hype

I'm still afraid of heights

Can I climb that mountain?

I don't know...just don't know

Shoulders encumbered beyond the norm

Think I'd rather be dead than scorned

I'm living a lie it's plain as day on my face

Proof is in the pudding my legend is a farce

Why do you find it necessary to waste your praise?

Beneath all the attention nobody makes a mention

Of the fact that I am falling apart

Despite all the hype

I'm still afraid of heights

Can I climb that mountain?

I don't know...just don't know

Come bearing words of undying support

No pressure - you the man

Too late for that now, can't be reversed

I just can't ever see you all again

I'll be in my tree alone

Atop my mountain...home.

BREAK THE SURFACE

One of those poor saps

Running the long laps

Staring up Swifty's ass

While guys like Chazz

Are laughing that laugh

Can't get an even break

Can't even break even

Ooh...

Take it to the limit

Take it to the max

Take what you can get

Take everything back

One of those angsty young men

Rungs on the ladder for them

Waiting for a message to be sent

Waiting for the perfect moment

Then all the Chazzes will repent (lament)

Not a wink until daybreak -

Nights are long and one by one

Break...my spirits...d-o-w-n

So many millions of stars in the sky

None of the names they spell out are mine

This little mind has its limits

Veinline in my head's maxed out

I won't be taking it anymore

I'm gonna take the rubbish out

Believe you me the refuse will pile up high

When I blow you fucking Chazzes sky-high

Think that the means to my ends are extreme?

I respectfully disagree, this is me taking it mildly

Ooh...

Take it to the limit

Take it to the max

Take what I can get

Take everything you said back!

Swifty's getting taken down today...

COOL AS A CUKE

Join with our

Handcircle

Get on the bandwagon

Hop on the bandwagon

Jump on the bandwagon

Woah...yeah

So sad when one man

Leans on another when he can stand

Perfectly well on his own

But fear of the unknown won't let him let go

That will never be me

I'm firm as an evergreen

Toe the line in the dirt

Stay off my side and nobody gets hurt

I don't know if I wanna be here

I don't even know if I wanna be me

Get on the bandwagon

Hop on the bandwagon

Jump on the bandwagon

And enjoy the ride

Now I'm feeling cool

And I'm looking cool

Am I one of you - yet?

Just tell me what to do, no sweat

Get on the bandwagon

Hop on the bandwagon

Jump on the bandwagon

Have a grand old time

Your piece of mind

Is worth that much

We're not cheapskates

We're just out of touch

With the world peripheral to us

Now I'm feeling cooler than ever before

And looking pretty cool for a cultural whore

Cool as a cuke, don't yell hypocrisy

It's not hip to label or polite to point

URBAN'S CANNON

Immovable object, unstoppable force

Irrulable turban, unconquerable cross

Two wills of iron converged on holy land

And the clash of iron heralded an historic stand

The siege -

Holding out against the siege

A lifetime in a fortnight without sleep

Thousands dead and hundreds yet

Frontlines backed by countless brave men

And a group of youth cowers in the parapet

Ballista brings them crashing down

While elsewhere a brave man, stoic, awaits death

(Gladly) Pass the gates of hell in the name of the crown

And the jihad waged on and on...

And the holy Roman struggle...

All for a pyrrhic victory

In damned Constantinople

The siege -

Holding out against the siege

A lifetime in a fortnight without sleep

Nowhere to hide when the equalizer is unleashed

Urban's cannon commences the end of the siege

Both sides fought well

But it is well known

One must win

And one submit to hell

Never freed from the siege

It keeps you in as long as you live

As long as you keep it within

Never freed from the siege

CONVERT

Woah oh oh...

Bitter alcoholic

Convert to the holy church

Of misogynism - yeah

I don't need you telling me I'm going over the edge

You don't know the half of it!

You're telling me I'm going (alone) right over the edge

Well you're full of shit (fucking hypocrite)

Bitter alcoholic

Convert to the holy church

Of misogynism - yeah

I tried and I tried to drown you right outta my head

Yet you still pervade (amplifies the pain)

You outlast every bottle and poison my thoughts to the end

Bloat me, choke me, diffuse, erode and saturate

I drink coz I need and I need coz I drink

And I feed the need with a drink

Spirit masturbate (vicious cycle for a vicious hate)

I see greater pastures right there over the edge

Refill my flask for the trip

You're telling me I'm going over the edge?

You don't know the half of it

Bitter alcoholic

Convert to the holy church

Of misogynism - yeah

I wrote a song today

(It's dedicated to you

I know I'm hated by you

Coz everything you do

Reveals professed love to be warped and untrue)

I wrote a song today

I'll walk to the library in the freezing rain

And e-mail it to you

Feel this scar, I want you to

I want to know - are you proud of it?

/refrain/ Did you have to run into his arms?

(Said you'd never do it)

Did you have to break your promise?

(Leave me feeling ruined)

No you didn't...but you did it...regardless

And now this heart is finished

Woah oh oh... /refrain x5/

THE STILL OF THE AFTERMATH

The day and its profanity - twilight and an echoed whisper pair'd

Whatever it was, for what worth - it is over - Still

It's not every day that you witness that kind of glory

Yeah, that's alright

Coz you know they'll never want to take that back again

That's alright -

Something to fight for and something to remember, yeah

And I sit here locking gazes with the bloodstained sky

Searching for a flicker of recognition, a more transcendental "why"

Why can't I find all of the answers to life?

Maybe because they just weren't meant for my eyes

And I call into the void, wasting my voice

Hope to hear a memory trigger, veer from this prostrate poise

The battle was long and hard fought but now I can forget

And rest my mind at last - in the still of the aftermath

Still - it's not everyday that you witness that kind of glory

Yeah, that's alright

Coz you know they'll never wanna take that back again

That's alright

Something to fight for and something to remember, yeah

Why can't I find all of the answers to life?

Maybe because they just weren't meant for my eyes

I can no longer fight - simply because I bear no more hatred within

Me - My only and worst earthbound enemy; Drained

I lie here straining to hear a distant familiar voice

A memory trigger to jar me from this prostrate poise

But there is only silence - in the still of the aftermath

Sweet silence - be damned - you guilelessly force a man

To reflect - as though into a still clear lake - a reflection I hate

Still...

TO SLEEP UNBROKEN

To sleep unbroken ~

For just awhile

Is the dream I'm hoping for -

Though futile

Deeper the recesses,

Darker the abscesses

Led to slaughter

On a path that winds

Through -

My cavernous mind

This penchant for excess

Stimulation

Effects the implosion -

My undoing

Growing redundant

In all that I think

Fuck, do I ever need

Forty-one winks

To sleep unbroken ~

CIRCUS TRICK

Anywhere, I don't care

Still gonna end up waiting there

For anything - even a flaming ring

Whatever you so think is fair

Make me jump through hoops of fire

You shall see my loyalty

Make me jump thru hoops afire

And I come through - unscathed

Don't doubt me now

No, truly keep faith

Someway, someday, somehow

I'll amount to the sum of my gilded weight

Make me jump through hoops of fire

You shall see my loyalty

Make me jump thru hoops afire

And I come through - unscathed (for you)

Feet don't fail me now

Got to keep up the pace

Thorn in the rose-colored jewel in my crown

Is second place in this race

Not enough blood streaks my face

To keep me grounded, no fucking way

Make me jump through hoops of fire

You shall see my loyalty

Make me jump thru hoops afire

And I come through - unscathed

Don't write me off - I still have time

To break barriers and make history

You know you really do make it hard

For a guy who just wants to show he's worthy

But that's alright - well worth the heat and the miles

Whence do you think I draw the energy?

I have jumped through hoops of fire - and now look

For some kind of sweet reward

Or even just a smile saying I did good

Can I make it through hoops of fire?

FROM ONE DRUNK TO ANOTHER

Staring down at the bottom

Of a melancholy bottle

We finally resort

To that forgotten default

Human contact will have to do

Until we find some vermouth or malt

I just wanna be taken for granted

I just wanna be fucking hammered

Well it's about damn time

That we got ourselves in line

Yeah it's been a while

But the outlook's looking fine

Can you appease the gods

That send chills up my spine?

All they need

Is a soul to bleed

They just want a virginal mind

I just wanna be taken for granted

I just wanna be fucking hammered

Yeah as my partner in crime

I'm sure that you will find

I can take us higher and higher

Til there's no mountains left to climb

Have you so soon forgotten

The secret fraternal sign?

Just cross your wrists

And twist em like this

And get your middle fingers aligned

I just wanna be taken for granted

I just wanna be fucking hammered

And not have to let anything matter

Have you ever heard anything sadder?

Hey, wake up and listen you bastard

SEPPUKU WITH A STEAKKNIFE

Losing your grip / Life's got you bound by the wrists

Take hold / Soon it will be over

Have you got the guts, kiddo?

To spill your guts on the floor?

Life's got you bound by the wrists / Your grip begins to slip

Get a grasp on something sharp / The end is not that far

Have you got the guts, kiddo?

To spill your guts on the floor?

An honorable samurai's death

From the comfort of your own living room or den

When they find you outlined by a puddle of red

You know, using the fine silverware will never mean the same again

If hearing what is said in this song / Puts you over the edge

My mind and my pen aren't at fault / You are, for not using your head

No riff or hook is good enough to want to be dead

Take it from me, I've been there myself

See the row of scars beneath my chest?

Bravado always turned to cowardice at the last moment, god bless!

All those times / Now these lines / Serve to remind.

Your decision, your life / Seppuku with a steak knife?

Fuck your cry-for-help fucking trend of suicide

If you need attention, get a naughty tat between your thighs

Seppuku with a steak knife...

Have you got the guts, kiddo?

To spill your guts on the floor?

I'm fucking kidding / It's just a line of verse

Must I defend and explain myself? / Just let me live with the remorse

DISAVOWED

I'm not someone to be left

To their own devices

I get so lonely that

Pissing is a crisis

You see

I was once

(coldly) Disavowed

And now -

Forever scarred

I seek comfort at every turn

Even from the devil's arms

Vow not to shatter my heart

Everybody harbors something dark

For me, it's the fear

Of stepping on scattered promise-shards

Such a wretch

Who wants a friend

That needs assurance

More than a fish to be wet?

Not my fault

Swear to god

This hurt's been with me so long

Can't shake it alone

Won't you carry me home?

You see

I was once

(coldly) Disavowed

And now -

Forever scarred

I seek comfort at every turn

Even from the devil's arms

If you won't embrace me I'm sure he will

In return he may ask that I kill

And if it does come back to haunt you

Remember - it will hurt me more

Everything does.

BRAINCHILD

Something you can keep inside

Something too primal to be a lie

Take fault and credit for its life

My favorite part is that it never dies.

Brain child.

Don't grow up too fast

Ain't right.

That you will outlast (me)

Hang tight.

The torch ain't quite ready to be passed

Brainchild love

Neon lightbulb

Keeping me awake

Through the night

Wish i could break

You from my mind

But it's like i said...

Remember when i'm dead

My favorite part is that you never die

How can you remember when my memory is your life?

You'll figure it out

Just like i figured you

Figment so pure so true

Fragment of a whole

Life unto your own

Brainchild.

A hermit crab in my skull.

OLD FASHIONED ROCK SONG (YOU MUST MAKE NICE LOVE)

He took one look at her and he said

"You must make nice love"

Well she pointed her chin at the ceiling

And she slapped him with her glove

This was not to be that smitten man's day of defeat

No, it was just the beginning

The rest they say is history, and it repeats -

That tale's still spinning

Took one look at her and he said

You must make nice love

And she did - all night

Until the morning light

Why'd she change her mind?

Well, every wishing star was bright

"I’m rocking – you’re rolling

And I think we both know

Just where this is going"

That’s what he said

First sight…no kidding

Usually real life just

Doesn’t work that seamlessly

But on certain nights the stars align

In a shape easily recognized

MY EVERYTHING HURTS

I get these feelings and they won't go away

No matter how hard I try

You know, you sometimes get them

And they won't go away no matter how hard you try

Again the feelings and this time

I just want it all to go away

You know, you make me feel them

Why oh why can't I make you fade away?

DRAGON QUEEN (MOTHER LOST)

~ I don't know where I came from

I don't know how to breathe fire

But I know that I hatched from a dragon's egg

Coz it's all I see in my dreams ~

~ I don't know where I'm flying to

I just know to follow the wind home

My only certainty (self-assured guarantee) in life

There really are none, but you gotta believe something, right?

GARDEN FROM ASHES

So now my great epic mistake

Has helped me attain uncommon strength

To grow a garden from ashes

Is the true sign of a saint

Oer the holy

False sanctimony

Hangs like a noose

To be true to self

Or self-righteous as all hell -

It's everyone's right to choose

Oer the holy

Standing and pointing...

Whispered transgressions

Rape the innocence

Screaming denials

Burn somehow cold

Through mists of confusion

And a story is told

Of how maybe my great epic mistake

Could lead to redemption, even grace

To sow a garden from ashes

THEY IS SYNONYMOUS WITH TAKE / "DIFFERENT" ANOTHER TERM FOR REPROBATE

MY BACK ALIGNED WITH THE WALL BREAKS ALONG THE FAULT LINE

AND SOMEHOW THE FAULT IS MINE? / MECHANISM, MY SELF-DEFENSE

ANCIENT GEARS OF WAR DRUMMED TO WAKE IN MY HEAD

MY FACE CONTORTS IN ANTICIPATORY BLOODLUST

SUPERCHARGED BATTERYMOUTH TWISTS IN A SCREAMING RICTUS

CRANK UP THE JUICE; PROCLAIM WITH FRAPPED LUNGS THE NEWS:

(RAISE HIGH THE NOOSE; HYPOCRITES! WASH THE SOLES OF YOUR SHOES –

THEY’RE SKYBOUND FOR DISPLAY; STATUS QUO BECOMES PAST TENSE TODAY)

TAKE YOUR OWN BLAME AND BREAK YOUR CHERRY WITH IT, THEY BACK-PEDAL FAST

WHEN THE TABLES TURN AND PIN THEM TO THE ASS OF THEIR JACKASS SELF-PORTRAIT

NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YESTERDAY AND TOMORROW, SAVE MY REPROBATE-

-EXISTENCE, SAVE YOUR SELF-SORROW FOR YOUR SYMPATHETIC SYCOPHANTS

IF MY DISEAS’D LIFE’S WORTH DIRT, THEN AREN’T YOU JUST A CONDOM BORROWED?

EXPLAIN THE BLOOD ON THE HANDS THAT HOLD THE STRINGS; and make your puppets dance

YOU TELL ME TO DIE / I FAIL TO COMPLY / REPEAT TWICE / I JUST STARE, DEAD-EYED

THIS INSUBORDINATE WILL TO SURVIVE / ANTAGONISM ON WHICH I THRIVE

DON’T TRY TO DRIVE MY LIFE FROM THE BACKSEAT

LEST I RATTLE THE HIVE AND STOMP ON YOUR PRECIOUS QUEEN

**ALKALINE DRIPS FROM MY LIPS**

***MY DEFIANT DENIAL ISSUES FORTH***

****FROM A SUPERCHARGED BATTERYMOUTH****

AND HITS YOU, SQUARE IN THE EGO / PEG WON’T FIT IN YOUR ROUND HOLE

THEY TAKE my soul when my BACK BREAKS from bending over backwards

BREAK my chains, and THEY will find salvation only when I TAKE BACK

MY SOVEREIGN HUMAN RIGHT TO INDIGNATION

…WHAT THE HELL AM I ON ABOUT NOW?

READ THE JUICE THAT DRIPS FROM THE LIPS OF MY SUPERCHARGED BATTERYMOUTH!!

I AM ENERGIZED AND HAVE THE POWER TO SHUT YOU DOWN

Can THEY TAKE the BACK BREAK like I did once upon a time?

I Scream Again At The Shadows And Laugh At Their Quivering Dance; Fearful Of Light

If we are all as ONE, in SOUL - Suicide is Genocide, SO!

Don’t Ask Me To Die For Your Grand Design; Tug One Thread, Whole Pattern Comes Undone

Don’t Underestimate My Demise - Or Invest Too Much Faith In The Binding Strength Of Your Lies

So pretentious and grandiose

Positive we're the sole possessors of souls

We make a great big show

Of our species-wide solidarity

But, no (take a look, take off your glasses tinted rose)

Never as mighty as we claim to be

Cannot even agree on universal peace

Don't you ever feel out of place?

This world maybe far more than merely

The inheritance of our race?

Do you seriously think it's just a unique

Coincedence that you even have a face?

Doesn't the beauty seem a little gaudy

To be a mistake; simply dust collected from the reaches of space?

I feel as though we are

Little more than ornamental

We're a mass-produced

Disposable unit

Patented for the sole use

Of our inventor's amusement

My voice of doubt in our superiority

Is drowned in a collective indignant cry of desperate need

"Can't allow our pride to fall or else -

The clouds will surely swallow us"

Only individualism will free us as a whole

Maybe changing everything is the one thing that can save us now...

Get up, get up, get up, each day

Going, through motions, go on, get on your way

Get up, get up, get up one day

Get up, get up, get up one more (or less) normal day

Get up, get up, get up one day and

Realize that you're not even there - yeah

And yet - that is no reason

Not to evolve into

More than what we're meant for

And just - enjoy our existence

That'll make 'em ponder; are we maybe stronger

Than the strings they pull to make us dance and sing

Yeah, gonna fuck with this here?

Yeah, gonna fuck with this here, huh?

Yeah, so ya gonna fuck with this here?

Yeah, I didn't think so

So you better rethink your strategy

Always know thy enemy; intellegence is key

Tell me, what have you got on me

Except my word it won't be easy?

Bring the thing, whatever, with which

You think you're gonna win?

Come on, bring that thing

On your precocious underdeveloped whim

I said come and bring that thing

On a prayer and a wing

Both will be broken long before your checker's kinged

I will cripple you and ground your faith; hold it down in place

There are no prisoners in my kind of war

If you don't like it, well don't fight it anymore

Go make up your own damn game

But don't play too close to my territory

Or it will escalate once again

Into full scale assault in the name of blessed glory

Choose your poison; I've chosen mine

I drink to survive; which is just a polite

Way of saying "slowly die" (at least inside)

I'm sure there's a better way of life

But I was never shown; my soul

Stunted before it'd grown past larval stage

I'd rather not know, I'm set in my ways

If ignorance is bliss (and believe me, it is!)

Amnesia is ejaculative; so I drown my brain cells

Ride a wave of uncertainty to the depths of hell

A lump of clay immune to knowledge and the passage of time

My imaginary and only true friends take shape

In the form of a bottle that holds a pint

I shake your hand; not quite sure where it's been

Traces of blood condemned with HIV

Maybe you're a butcher and it's uncooked meat

Did you touch money tainted by the drug ring

Or kill your fellow man for a dollar bill that represents unity ?

Are your fingernails clean? Did you recently sneeze?

And why the palm's black glossy sheen?

As though you'd jerked off and emitted soot

Or gone fishin' and then wiped urban-bay grime off the hook

Or spent all morning hard at work under your car's hood

Or given a sensual massage to an old homeless twat's foot

(They're so eager to please sexually / It's so titillating to feed on the weak

A perfect submissive erotic wretch - So long as you don't mind the stench)

There's some depravity and disgusting shit in this world

Just lift a rock or open any home's door; just around the corner

Lurks something even more abhorrent than before

By comparison the only saints in this world are the whores

They bring happiness to the sick, twisted masses

And they'd rather not even know your name

To them it's just about getting paid

And really, to be honest, what's more simple and pure?

Children are tortured for religious purposes

By zealots who believe they are truly righteous

A thousand years from now the deed will remain

Written into history in permanent ink

But what of the ends that supposedly

Justified and went along with the cruel means?

That part must be the invisible fucking ink

The sun doesn't go anywhere at night, no; it just gets obscured

But what of those who absorb its warmth all day; I'm just not sure

And I'd rather not know, their tales are not my own

And that reduces their worth to none

Did she ever really love me?

Does she, too, still pine on starry nights?

Clutch her breasts together to bridge the gap of empty agony

Remembering my tender bites?

Fuck her, I fucked her, and I'd do the same all over again

And that's all that really matters in the end

Emotion is just chemical refuse

Memories are neural scars with no real use

Except to fuel your hatred of the future

And the desire to make it more controllable than the past

Does she still wear that hot pink sweater?

I keep telling you, I don't give a sewer-rat's ass!

When she dreams, does my name escape her lips?

Or the names that we came up with for our "someday…" kids?

I'd rather not know, I'm that bitch's loss and I'm better off alone

Was I put here by chance or a God?

Is existence meaningless or not?

When it's over and I'm gone -

Will my soul, like my body, rot?

How long thereafter 'til I'm completely forgotten?

Is someone scripting all my thoughts?

Is self-control an illusion to draw us along?

Does anyone even fucking get this song?

If so, am I dead fucking wrong?

If no, have I helped guide the lost?

Am I a psycho-babble fetish fool just jerking off?

These are the questions that keep me strong

Yet when faced with the answers, so feeble with awe

Hands won't keep still, need a drink to stabilize

Or maybe a pill to cure my demon's earnest cries

The truth is in them, behind my heavy-lidded eyes

But I won't give in, denounce all universal truth as lies

A coma…a coma…knowing only a mono-chromatic mantra of nothing

Tell me how to achieve this dream

And I will listen, willingly, raptly…

Meantime, I'll take a tall neat whiskey

I GOT YOUR BACK (IN MY LASER SIGHTS)

Comrade, old buddy, old pal-o-mine

In the dirt that paves my soul there’s an invisible line

And though we’ve had some "good old times"

You just misstepped on one of my mental landmines

I’ll make it quick and painless, so don’t say I was never kind

Target practice, scapegoat fodder

That's what friends are for, partner!

Nevermind "who do you love"

We live in a real world, it's a real mother****

So really now, let's stick to the relevant stuff

Trust ain't in our DNA

Programmed to keep everyone at arm's length

I got eyes in the back of my head

Try to sneak up behind, kablau! - you're dead!

Paranoia and jealousy are true best friends

An inseparable pair right up until the end

How could we ever hope to live up to such a standard?

Well, we could, for starters, try not being such serpentine bastards

CAN’T DECIDE (ode to Layne Staley, et. al.)

Tragedy has ended with catharsis; death

Now you leave an empty carcass; bereft

With nothing but memories we are left

Hard to descry – who is the true victim in the end?

Our struggle still underway – your debts in full paid

Now freed from the spiritual stains of pain

That served as your ephemeral chains

Maybe where you are is better

Yes, even if it's just unadorned oblivion

Haunt me; send me a transplanar letter

Tell me how to find your soul amongst the untold billions

I can’t decide ~ just where to build your shrine

Maybe just erect one in my mind?

Symbolism is cheap anyhow

Beyond the reach of mortal treachery and ignorance

This world’s demons can no longer harm you now

God forbid I sound selfish, but I just wish for the omniscience

To feel assured of your sanctity in new realms found

If it is indeed the sweet release of which I dream

Save a seat for me – pretty please

I’ll be glad to die – look into your eyes

And say, "My friend, finally we are free…"

RHYME’N’REASON

As I see the moon through the clouds

So I see your pain through your smile

Precipitating your self-doubt

Self-serving soul masturbating all the while

It's called the way of the unhewn stone

"Wu-wei" in the ancient tongue

Best to lead by example

So here is my meager sample

I have only one ~ limited life to call my own

So do you - so don't just choose to take the abuse

Living the bare minimum, willing to lose

I have only one ~ limited life to call my own

No one can compromise - the value of their own lives

Can't compromise - the value of our own lives

I have only one ~ limited life to call my own

Don't know about you, but I don't plan to

Waste mine (not even trying) - yeah

PH (ACID TEST)

The world, in the parameters of my windtunnel-vision

Seems to have taken on a bad case of the shivers

A frightening question: am I the only one that sees our exoskeletons?

Our organs relaying innately felt transmissions

On a wavelength that nullifies and redefines distance

Monitored by the parasites we malign as malicious

On barely more than a molecular level, they are the true rulers of heaven

(Which is a string of billions of tiny floating islands in the air we breathe)

Have you, sir, ever politely addressed a tree?

So much as a ‘thank you’ or ‘keep up the good work, please’

There’s a cancer in utopia – creating a hazy blur

It’s called false awareness – we obfuscate eachother with our ‘real-world’ concerns

You call me a dreamer – what if I’m really wide awake?

On your behalf I’ll ask the bacteria to save you a clean seat in the cafeteria

Where both old Zhuangzi and I will both have and eat our cake.

WHAT AM I TO YOU?

I wear a warning label – still you take me to excess

I’m gum beneath the table – pick at me (habit unconfessed)

Would you like a cookie?

Well, here’s a fist in your face!

Trust is a drug

Cynicism rehabilitates

I’m the voice that’s screaming

Over the whisper of reason

The cause of your desperate reaching

In effect, your outstretched hand is bleeding

And I laugh – without compassion

Coz in this world, power’s always in fashion

You love to bite the hand that feeds you

You love to fuck the hand that bleeds you

You hate to feel empty and alone inside

You hate to go a day without pain enough to make you cry

You’re so fucked-up, but I’m here to help

I’m the motivational speaker after your bottom dollar

You spent the rest on cheap sex

That’s crimson cyanide you got on your collar

What am I to you?

Merely a symbol…

But one so powerful –

One of inescapable control (others’)

Unattainable control (your own)

You will only destroy yourself

Until you learn to control yourself

That’s an ugly war – one I want no part of

And have no place interfering with

I can only give you my best wishes

Have we now become somehow too proud

To hail the sun, as one?

Bathing in its light, basking in its warmth

Taking, and giving nothing in return

Lion & Lizard, Mantis & Raptorous Bird

All possess more sense and class than we

Paw & Claw, Antennae & Talon

As one, they all hail the sun

From them there is much we could learn

Raise your fist, hail the sun

Make amends for what you’ve done (or haven’t)

Join the "one", tilt your head up

And behold, and feel…receive…your reward

RECENTLY ADDED: THESE ONES ARE OLDER BUT I’VE ONLY JUST GOTTEN AROUND TO UPLOADING THEM.

monument stands ahigh hewn into mind's eye

determined smile radiates and ricochets

across the face of every life remaining

behind reassuring laughter

a soothing word hereafter

as tears recede to waning

there is yet one question in your wake

burning wick but never spake, abstained

for all you knew and told us true

this one uncertainty entombed bid you hesitate

and yes, we all understood

hear well this answer never too belated to impart

all understood, still understand

and you have made all again all the better for it

take that now with you

that - and the blessing of our grateful hearts

truly great you always were

(Grandpa – you’ll never be forgotten)

you know how some people

have certain conditions

and everyone treats them

extra special nice all the time?

ever uncork a bottle of lightning?

yeah? show me the scars of your burns

caution best advised when choosing your words

once in my life i had a reason

one at a time i bled through each season

until falling

the years became one massive weight

each nearly four hundred days too much to take

my chest concave can't respirate sad fucking fate

my time is all through...yeah

i reached the end of my rope

some time ago

since let go

look out below

you shoulda met me in my prime

vibrant precocious jack of all trades, ace of spades

now reprehension for the world spangles my face

devoid of patience and demanding respect

by the carrot or the sword, this piper collects on debts

bend like a sapling bough, we'll be tight like peas in a pod

one step out of line though, you'll be whipped til stripped of bark

yes some people are that fucked up

i'm a testament to the incomprehensible

feels refreshing; freed from the rut

of cookie-cutter life, devouring the ostensible

my way is the highway

exit sealed with mortar

just tell me i'm right, yeah

lest you want to induce disorder

tried to warn you - that's damn true

hate to say i told you so

wait no, i really don't

she tried so long to save me; lo, i doomed the both of us

her good will was not the cure a person cannot be deterred

from an inner calling to self destruct

every once in a while i'm reminded

turn halfway round i'm sure to find it

never clouding clear skies where i play; i say

my life has had a few more twists than turns

you could say it's all the same rotation, but hey...

dark is the day i turn to the others in this world for crocodile sympathies or fairweather support

or the stroking finger of accusation, no not today

well i'm not sure bout anything anymore save that i have no lord; just a hollow core

black as the demure whisper of a whore behind the door - beyond the door

there's nothing left but ashes, now...rather not scatter them and carry that on my back, too

there is no end in sight - have i closed my eyes?

i believe in the power of dreams; have dreamt up powerful beliefs

i seem to be the sole believer in righting the wrongs and rectifying the fuckups

i seem to be the sole receiver of pundit lists so long all of them crying you fucked up

all i know is that all is relative, i'm relatively satisfied with what i know, ergo...

need not lift a finger to make me a better man

better to let her think her hands are clean again

i need no saving but the thought itself is nice

please don't try to change me just keep your sage advice

don't waste your time i'm happy

being this better man who does not exist

seeing myself in everyman and taking comfort in this

tell her...nevermind...

a world's demise on my own hands, no less than by my hands

and doomed never to rise, never to grow and flourish again?

not quite...rather i believe there is a vein feeding both ways

and i am daily made more whole

could achieve no greater peace outside the world i find full round me

it stretches on as far as one can be

RELUCTANT PUPIL

so much of me you robbed away

where is my share of our give and take?

all i ever learned from you was

how to gently fall from grace

all i ever learned from you was

i let you

get into

my heart and my bed

and then my head

i'm still afraid

to look in the face

of anyone that closely resembles you

i'm still afraid...

i've been unmade...

i'm still afraid

i've been unmade

once-bright eyes are grey

are grey

someone won't you

please teach me

teach me the way

to love again

i'm still afraid

to love again

all i ever learned from you was

to watch where i step

i'm still stuck in your mess

FOUR AND A HALF STARS

we didn't quite make it

didn't quite make it

come again don't fake it

you can tell me i can take it

oh we didn't quite make it?

so we didn't quite make it

we didn't quite make it

guess i might as well die

one word

gets me ragged

through the night

fills my days

with implacable fright

one word

evermore

beards could chafe

the breasts of whores

fuck you raven evermore

rich punks beat

the shit out the poor

fuck you raven evermore

if death is even less fair than life

what the fuck is there to hope for?

speak: fuck you raven

you fucked my whole life

repeat: fuck you raven

you fucked my dead wife

fuck you raven evermore

evermore and nevermore

NOBODY IN MOTION

Up a flight of stairs

And right over there

Is where I wanna go

Hey! – don’t stand in my way

Hey now don’t you stand me down

Hey! – don’t stand in my way

Plant me where I am all day

Think I know where I wanna go

But I’m short on time and

I’ll change my mind

If the climb’s too slow

(drum solo)

Nobody in motion

We are all at rest

Life is not an empty notion

But a full platter to digest

Hey! Ye – devoid of devotion

Consume it with zest!

Come on, get going –

We are missing the best part

We are missing the best part

The quickening of our pace

The blessing of our still hearts

LIFE IN A VICE GRIP

Pressure and stressors

Fasten you down

Lesser than ever

Letting yourself down

When you are kicked on the ground

Lay down your arms

And bury the hatchet

That motherfucker’s talking crazy talk

Crazy motherfucker, he’s all talk

Nothing that makes y ou

Cry or want to die matters

Not worth a second thought

Or even a first, for that matter

Take your kindling scraps of earthly concerns

Scatter them over the flame, let them burn

Remember your star – it is never too far

Break the grip that keeps you from basking in it