Laughs by John R. Haws

		Maybe?
		Emma took an enema to the enemy to impair their impromptu military movements.
		Could be
		What do you call stealing from the gangs? Robbin' Hood
		Woe from Down Under
		First Australian: "I was bitten by a mad dog once.  It was horrible." Second Australian: "What happened?" First Australian: "They wouldn't let me have any beer for a week!"
		need a quick charge of energy?
		A popular candy maker has a new candy bar out. It has a battery and some electrodes attached to it.  It's called "Shock a lot".
		let's pray it passed the refried beans
		On May 5th, a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich got stuck in the kitchen sink.  It was a case of "Sinko de Māyo"!
		overheard at the office
		I don't mind the understanding.  I just don't like the standing under.
		John's First Law of Geometry
		The shortest distance between two points is another point!
		from my dad's Oklahoma heart
		Henry went to the doctor and said, "Doc, I aint vury smart. You's got any thang what can make me smart?"  And the doctor said, "As a matter of fact, I do Henry.  Take these here pills home wid ya and take one pill a day fur a whole week."  A week later Henry comes back to the doctor's office and says, "Doc, them there pills what you's gib me weren't nothing but rabbit terds."  Doc says, "Now you're gettin smart!"
		from the mind of Joshua Haws
		Question: "What do you call a librarian who cuts hair?" Answer: "A barbarian, of course."
		That makes scents
		First Philosopher: "I've figured out why there is so much 'hot air' in the world." Second Philosopher: "And why is that?" First Philosopher: "Because we are all just Human beans!"
		The new Math
		One, two, skip a few, ninety-nine, a hundred.
		Sounds like good etiquette to me
		My oldest son, John, says that cannibals eat their food with a can and a bowl.
		Overheard in a model's dressing room
		Bulimics are the only persons I know who can have their cake and eat it.
		Modern Efficiency
		One of the new department stores has a customer service department that  gives its customers two choices.  Either you talk to Nate, the customer service representative, on the left or you pull the big lever on the right.  The lever has a sign that reads, "For faster service, pull lever down."  And when you do, a trap door opens, you fall through a tunnel and end up in the back alley. The moral, of course, is "Better Nate than lever."
		It figures
		Question: "What's round on both ends and high in the middle?" Answer: "Ohio!"
		Really?
		My son Josh says that pencils are made in Pennsylvania!
		The Economist's Calculator
		Question: "What does an economist use when calculating constant-dollar estimates?" Answer: "The Deflator Mouse."
		One Poet's Lament
		First Editor: "That John Haws is always sending me poetry." Second Editor: "Is his work any good?" First Editor: "I don't know.  I haven't read any of it, yet."
		Coffee Drinkers' Tip
		First Coffee Drinker: "My dad makes a cup of coffee that will knock your eye out. Second Coffee Drinker: "Really?  And just how does he do that?" First Coffee Drinker: "He leaves the spoon in the cup."
		The Toothpicks
		Master of the House: "Who's been using up all the toothpicks around here?" Maid of the Kitchen: "I don't know, sir.  I always put them back after I use them."
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