Everything Old is New Again
or Victim Schmictim

by Christina Hazelwood
For most of my life I’ve been a victim of one sort or another. Victimized by the cruelty of "well-meaning" parents, teachers, relatives, friends, lovers, bosses, neighbors, doctors, lawyers, “the system” and authority figures of every kind. In my never-ending search for answers, I eventually ran across the “New Age” philosophy.

Most of what this new philosophy (which is actually ancient) teaches about the nature of life, the nature of being and the nature of mankind, I agree with. One aspect of the philosophy, that repeatedly comes to the forefront, is the concept of individual responsibility. “New Agers,” which in Sedona, Arizona, are called “woo-woos,” embrace the concept of the individual being responsible for all that occurs to that individual. A concept that makes sense to me.

I believe that we are ultimately “response-able” for our lives, however, one disturbing aspect to this philosophy has repeatedly baffled me. And only recently, have I come to terms with it. A process that I will, no doubt, relive again and again until it finally sinks in and balances.

This concept of accepting total responsibility for one’s life is, in some ways, a victim mentality, in and of itself. From this point of view, if one is walking down the street and an unknown assailant comes up from behind and bludgeons you on the back of the head, guess what? It’s all YOUR fault.

From this “New Age” perspective, the fact that a person attacks you is YOUR fault. Why? Because you are “responsible” for your life and all that happens to you. New-agers or woo-woos would say things like, “you were sending out a victim vibration/subconscious energy to which this victimizer tapped into. Because you were sending out these vibes this person was attracted to you. So it’s YOUR fault that this person victimized you because you sent out those particular vibes.” So therefore every time anybody victimizes you, it’s ALL YOUR FAULT!

This “new” concept sounds very familiar. It’s one that was ingrained in me from the time I was born. So much so, that when people harmed me, I would apologize to them! Because, of course, everything that happened to me was MY FAULT! It’s called a ‘blame the victim’ mentality. It is as old as the Sedona red rocks, if not older.

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe there is some truth to this. You did choose to walk down that particular street at the same time that particular crazy person decided to bludgeon somebody. So, in a way, it was your fault for being there. And further, maybe you were in a martyr kind of mood that day, and maybe you were thinking about all the other people who had victimized you in one way or another. And maybe you were sending out some kind of vibes. But the fact is, that person CHOSE, through his or her own free will, to pull out a hammer and bludgeon you. I don’t care if you were wearing a giant sign on your back that said, “please bludgeon me,” let’s face it, that particular individual CHOSE to bludgeon you and is therefore responsible for his or her actions.

There may have been lots of folks who saw that same sign on your back. There may have been many people who felt these victim vibes you were sending out. But they did not all suddenly pounce on you. No. It was this particular individual’s free will decision to bludgeon you. I don’t care if you crawled around on your hands and knees and begged this person to clobber you upside the head. It was still that aggressor’s decision to willfully attack you. And this is essentially the problem I’m having with this concept of each individual being “responsible” for all that happens to him or her.

If it is my “responsibility” not to send out victim vibes, why isn’t it the other person’s “responsibility” not to respond to them? If I were to tell this same aggressor to dive off of a giant cliff and kill him/herself, would this person do it? So whose responsibility is it when an individual or a community or a nation willfully chooses to act aggressively towards another? Is it really those ‘vibes’ that the victim was sending out? Or was it a willful act of aggression on the part of the aggressor?

I’m tired of everybody telling me that every time another person or group, or government or nation, behaves aggressively towards me that it’s all my fault. I cannot logically understand why it is my fault if I behave aggressively towards another, but mysteriously it’s also my fault if someone behaves aggressively towards me. This is Catch-22 thinking in which absolutely everything that happens is my fault. I reject this concept. At most, we could say that I share responsibility.

We are each responsible for our own choices and I don’t care what kind of vibes the other person, or group, or country, or nation is sending out. If we choose to act aggressively towards them, it is OUR choice. And we are responsible for our choices and our actions, no matter what the other does to incite it. And further, the other person, or group, or nation is responsible for their actions, no matter what we did to incite it. If we are ultimately responsible for our own choices, than all others are ultimately responsible for theirs.

Related Links

City of Sedona

Victim's Rights Advocacy

Human Rights Watch

Victim's Rights Organizations

Victim's Rights Articles

 ACLU Constitutional Amendment