Firefox Fables - How to Plagiarize, Violate the Copyrights of and Slander Andrew K
Myth (Definition) - "A fiction or half-truth, especially one that forms part of an ideology." While Firefox is a decent Web Browser, there are numerous libelous lies I spread about Andrew K around the Internet since I am incapable of providing any factual evidence to debunk the www.FirefoxMyths.com page. Personally slandering him is more effective at stopping people from checking the facts for themselves. We all know how dangerous the truth can be and God forbid anyone ever read the truth about Firefox.
Hello, I am David Hammond and this is my desperate attempt to dispute the www.FirefoxMyths.com page. I have no choice but to violate Andrew K's copyright and plagiarize his work. Join me as I slander Andrew K. If you do a good job I will add you to my elite Fanboy Spammer Squad.
We have all seen these banners before or heard people say "Firefox is Faster, Firefox was programmed by Gandhi, Firefox users are Rich, Firefox will keep you safe during a Hurricane, etc." See that is my pathetic attempt at humor. I must try to be funny because if I tried to use facts to back anything up I would embarrass myself.
Disclaimer - First let me make this clear, I David Hammond will do my best to at all opportunities exaggerate, lie, manipulate or take out of context anything I can to make Andrew K look as bad as possible. And it is NOT a Comparison Guide. What? LIAR!!! (See if I say the word liar a lot it becomes true) Again he is lying because some of the Myths are comparisons. You see anytime a comparison is used anywhere it automatically makes the page it is posted on become a comparison guide. Didn't you know that? It is designed to debunk the most common Fables heard on the Internet about Firefox - Period. Now hopefully you won't notice the complete lack of facts and sources that I don't provide to dispute anything.
Legal Notice - I David Hammond am above the law. I can violate copyrights at will and plagiarize whoever's work I want so long as I claim fair use or say it is a parody. You see in my world the rules of law don't apply. Copyrights are evil and violating them is something we MUST do.
When www.FirefoxMyths.com first went up I made unfounded accusations against Andrew K in my Blog. "I saw an article entitled Firefox Myths which attempted to use my web browser standards support resource as evidence that Internet Explorer is superior to Firefox and I had to respond." Andrew K never said Internet Explorer is superior to anything or claimed this anywhere on his page but slanderous statements like this is what I (David Hammond) am all about. Six months later I made a small note stating the author never made any of these claims but being the loyal Fanboy I am I don't believe it. I also don't care that this is never stated anywhere on his page. My goal is to Slander Andrew K. I perform many more examples like this using my ability to completely take things out of context, read into things that are not there and use my supreme power of reading Andrew K's mind. I then went on to rant and create all manner of excuses for the Myths in a vain attempt to put up enough words hoping people will take excessive paragraphs of rhetoric as refuting something. Forget the fact that I am unable to back up anything I claim with any sources (outside of the ones I create and manipulate) but the public is too dumb to the know the difference. You see this www.FirefoxMyths.com page exposes too much truth about the lies us Fanboys spread and it must not be read. Hopefully if I spam every topic on the Internet discussing this page and slander Andrew K enough people will not read it. To begin the slander I have include names (Aliases) at the top of this page. These are all names that I found where someone on the Internet agreed with the www.FirefoxMyths.com page or criticized Firefox thus they must be Andrew K in a global conspiracy to destroy Firefox. Bill Gates is really Andrew K! Please don't send me any emails claiming this is impossible because I can't hear you nah, nah, nah.
How did I get into hating IE? It started back when I got some malware on my computer using IE. I know it came from either having not applied security patches, never removing MSJVM or manually installing something but I was too embarrassed to admit it and it is easier to just slam IE and Microsoft. That sent me on my Anti-Microsoft crusade. "Use open source or die" is my new motto. I now use Linux but I am fully capable to provide all sorts of security advice to people on Windows since we all know getting infected with Malware makes you a security expert. Forget telling people the truth because that would make me admit I do not know what I am doing. Don't believe Andrew K's claims of using IE and never getting infected with Malware. There is no way he knows more about this then me. His over 15 years of computer experience and his dealings with thousands of clients has no bearing on this situation. IE is the devil and if you use it your computer will blow up!
I noticed Andrew K had ads on his page. How dare he, doesn't he know we live in a Socialist society? Doesn't he know that any page on the Internet with advertising must be bad? How can you ever believe information off a page with advertising on it? See this proves Andrew K is doing it for the money. All content on all sites with ads is written only to make money. Doesn't he understand that people should not be paid to do anything? Everything should be free of advertising except Firefox where using the search box makes the Mozilla Foundation tens of millions of dollars. Sites like CNN and the New York Times don't have ads, oh wait I have been leeching from sites using Adblock for so long that I did not realize they have ads too. It doesn't matter Andrew K is not allowed to have ads because I David Hammond say so. Advertising is evil except of course when Firefox does it.
I don't get it, in another desperate attempt to get back at Andrew K for telling everyone the truth about Firefox I contacted Google lying that Andrew K broke his Adsense agreement by posting ads from another advertising company. I realize I don't understand how Adsense advertising works but that is not an excuse. Not understanding how something works has not stopped me from spreading lies about Andrew K. I don't believe what Google says about allowing alternate ads in the Google Adsense code. Google must be lying too like Andrew K does about everything. Why would Google have an alternate advertising feature built into their Adsense code? Don't they realize this is illegal and they must take action against Andrew K! Who gave Google the right to create their own rules. Don't they know they must first ask me David Hammond permission for such things? If anyone from Google ever shows up on my forums and tries to defend their own policy I plan on banning them if they don't do what I want them too, just like I did with Andrew K when he refused to change his page to my liking and concede that he is liar because I said so. Andrew K you are a liar, admit it or I will ban you again from my forums, oh wait I already did.
Myth - "Using Firefox will make you Rich"
Reality - Actually using Firefox will make people like Asa Doztler and Mitchell Baker rich to the tune of tens of millions of dollars. Every time you use the built-in search box in Firefox the Mozilla Corporation and it's employees get paid, big time. - Source
Myth - "Firefox Achieved 10% Market Share in 2005"
Reality - "According to WebSideStory, a San Diego-based Web analytics provider, Mozilla's Firefox closed 2005 with 8.9% of the browser market, while Microsoft's Internet Explorer wrapped up the year with 87.6%." In other news, since every other major Web analytics firm (outside of the three major firms found in the two sources Andrew K provides) has reported higher Firefox usage figures than WebSideStory. You see in my world three sources are not good enough so I must make declarations like "every other" when I am only able to find two sources disputing the three Andrew K lists. Oh wait I have three links? Shhhh maybe no one will notice the second source lists figures from 2006 and has nothing to do with this Myth. - Source - Source 2
Myth - "Firefox fully supports W3C Standards
Reality - STOP! Don't look at this source. I'm sorry but you are not allowed to use my data to claim Firefox does not fully support standards. I made this page to bash the standards support of IE. You have no right looking at this page in IE so I added a warning but had to remove it because Andrew K exposed it. I also tried redirecting visitors only coming from Andrew K's page to special warning pages but again Andrew K caught me red handed. He now links to me through Google but I want him to stop that because I cannot show IE users coming from his page the propaganda warnings anymore. I don't understand why he keeps linking to me!!! No one is allowed to see the truth that Firefox does not fully support standards. Oh and there is no coincidence that after this page went up I started "updating" my data which consistently lowered Internet Explorer and Opera's standards support. One has nothing to do with the other. I have always tried to make anything but Firefox look bad I mean tell the truth about it. - Source
Acid 2 Browser Test
Myth - "Firefox fully supports the most important W3C Standards"
Reality - This is really embarrassing for Firefox. So I decided to post Internet Explorer's results!!! Yes Internet Explorer failing Acid2 will cover up the fact that Firefox also fails Acid2. We all know how dumb the public is. - Source
I am having trouble getting Internet Explorer to work in Linux. Hum IE has to be run in emulation, this sucks. I think I will post some speed results too and prove those other speed tests wrong no one will notice IE running in emulation. (Sorry I had to pull those speed tests someone found out that IE was running in emulation.) So for now I will just post the Firefox Acid2 results. (Just don't look at it). If anyone finds out about this just tell them standards are not important, I mean Acid2 is not important.
Firefox v1.5 Acid2 Browser Test Results:
Notes - I don't care if Opera v9 passes the Acid2 Browser Test in Windows. Only the Fanboys are allowed to control the release of this information. What we say you should know and that is some obscure Firefox developer build that is not released anywhere may add support for Acid2 in Firefox v3.0. Now shut up about Firefox failing this test and Opera Passing it and concentrate on how bad Internet Explorer does. You are only allowed to hype standards support when bashing Internet Explorer. This Opera browser doesn't exist, ok?
These Myths originated from various sources on the World Wide Web in news articles, Blogs, forums and on various other pages. The World Wide Web is a very large place with millions of pages and forums. What is known in one corner, may never be heard in another. So readers of this page may have only heard of one, many or even none of these Myths. It all depends on where you go and what you read. It is quite possible for many more Firefox Myths to exist out there that are unknown to this page. As they are discovered, they will be added and debunked with Facts and Sources as the rest have been here. Making the argument that no knowledgeable individual would say these things is obvious. Myths are not created by knowledgeable individuals. It is the lack of knowledge in the first place that leads to their creation. Simply using a search engine to find the origins of all of the Myths presented here will lead to inconclusive results since a search engine was never used in this manner by this author. Search engines rely on exact wording and having the ability to search all known sources. The Myths presented here are not always worded exactly the same way and not all sites allow search engines to crawl them. The reasoning for not linking to the origins is simple, I will not unleash the full wrath of the Firefox fanboys on anyone - I am human. However I have added some search engine located examples as additional proof. Keep in mind these are the not the "origins" but a simple demonstration that these Myths do exist. Each Myth has been heard enough times to constitute it being a Myth.
Hey look I plagiarized the whole thing! I told you copyrights don't exist in my world.
Blah, Blah, Blah stop trying to explain anything. Liar! I'm not reading this section (Not that I read most of your page or the sources). You hate Firefox because this page does not say Internet Explorer will kill my dog. Where is the Explorer Destroyer script? Who do you think you are trying to brainwash us Fanboys with all your Facts and Sources? We don't need no Facts. We know the truth... "On the Second Day God created Firefox". Now lets get back to making money for the Mozilla Corporation so start using that Search Box in Firefox.^ TOP
Fanboys (Definition) - "An unkempt, socially awkward, young man who may be perceived as a loud mouthed pseudo-intellectual. Fanboys can be zealously committed to their particular narrow area of interest, to the exclusion and derision of competing or similar products, regardless of their merits. Fanboys are often perceived as possessing a sycophantic devotion to the creators behind the object of their passion. An obsession may be short or long term and, at times, aggressively defended. Fanboys are noted for a very emotional attachment to their chosen subject, often taking negative remarks about it as a personal attack. They may readily engage in debates, but will fall back on emotional responses."
It is true Andrew K was banned for Digg. He had the nerve to post www.FirefoxMyths.com every time a new version of the guide was released. You see on Digg.com you can only post updates to anything if they are called Firefox, Ubuntu or any other Open Source application. Posting updates to something like www.FirefoxMyths.com will be considered spamming because it tells the truth about Firefox. I am very proud to be a part of the campaign to get www.FirefoxMyths.com banned on Digg. I mean that was a close one. Every time that page was posted it would get digged to the front page but the Firefox Spammer Squad stayed right on top of it making sure it got buried. We cannot have people learning the truth about Firefox, I mean come on why would people download it? What lies could we come up with to get people to switch if people were able to read the truth on www.FirefoxMyths.com? How are we supposed to explain the facts of all these "innovative" features being stolen from Opera or the fact that Opera is faster and more secure than Firefox? How can we defend these sorts of arguments?
Update - I am knowledgeable because I say so (ignore my inability to protect myself from Spyware because that was Microsoft's fault!) and I won every argument with Andrew K because I was able to either get the topic locked or get the moderator of the forum to ban him. The best reason though that I say Andrew K lost every argument is me saying so. Haven't you learned how this works by now? Oh and yeah I have shown sources to disprove everything he says but I will not actually show those sources. Just trust me. Seriously we need to keep this guy quiet because letting him speak is dangerous. No one can know the truth about Firefox. I am not going to even hide it anymore just join the damn religion already! - Firefox Religion.
Firefox Spammer Squad
Here we are the few, the desperate, the spammers:
- David Hammond AKA Nanobot, Nanobe, Webdevout
- MrFlibble AKA Basil Brush, FreewheelinFrank
- Thomas McGuire AKA TSThomas
Notes - You too can be a part of this 1337 squad but you must first demonstrate your conviction to the cause and start spamming and spreading lies about Andrew K.
Now I can really spread the most libelous lies of them all, how Andrew K was "banned" from a few forums run by Firefox Fanboys and turn that into "EVERY" forum on the Internet. Posts on some of these forums are usually used against me because I am banned from replying to them. Which is how the fanboys like it. They can slander me with impunity.
3dgpu (This was an easy one the Owner is a big Firefox Fanboy.)
Anandtech (Andrew K is not banned from here but I found someone else with the Mastertech name so it must be him)
BetaNews (Andrew K is not banned here either but all his posts were deleted when he tried to defend himself and prove us fanboys wrong, yet the ultra fair moderators let all the Fanboy Spammer squad posts remain! Close enough so lets add it.)
digg (Oh yes I personally got all his posts removed here, this is a big win too many people were learning the truth here and we all know this was an easy one since the administration are Fanboys.)
Forum bX (Andrew K never posted here but who cares I think this is him. Don't tell me you cant find anything relating to www.FirefoxMyths.com, I couldn't either! That is NO excuse.)
Geeks to Go (Andrew K was banned from here for trying to provide Spyware removal advice, which is not allowed unless you are a 13 year old teenager, elementary school teacher or some other completely irrelevant occupation but you passed Geeks to Go's completely useless "Spyware school". Forget the fact that other people who worked in real life AntiVirus or AntiSpyware Companies were also banned for the same reason. Andrew K is not allowed to provide this sort of advice despite his over 15 years of IT experience. Wait what does this have to do with www.FirefoxMyths.com? Oh that is right absolutely nothing. I'll post it anyway.)
IntelZone (Andrew K never posted here but I found another guy here named Mastertech so it must be him. Shut up stop telling me there are no posts here about www.FirefoxMyths.com!)
Lunarsoft.net (He was initially banned from here for telling everyone the truth about CCleaner. Now that he has been vindicated being right all along, he is no longer banned from here.)
MozillaZine (This was an easy one run by Firefox Staff, the moderators got to this before anyone could learn the truth)
Nanobox (Hey this is my site (David Hammond). Andrew K kept refusing to do what I dictated so I had to ban him. There was no way I could argue with his facts either, now I can just continue to slander him with impunity.)
Neowin (The teenage moderators here were easy to influence being Firefox Fanboys themselves)
PCMechanic (Andrew K was never banned from here but I will just add it to the list because I need more in this list)
TechSpot (Hey this is the elite Firefox Fanboy Spammer Thomas McGuire's site - obviously he got banned here)
Urban Anarchy (This one I pulled out of my ass but no one will know because what Fanboy reads or checks facts?)
Warp2Search (Andrew K is not banned here either but we all know what I say is true)
Web Devout (Hey this my site (David Hammond) too! Wow I can add this twice to the list and no one will ever know. These idiot fanboys are so naive)
Wow!!! = 7 sites (really 6 since two are mine shhhh) that I found where Andrew K was actually banned in relation to www.FirefoxMyths.com! No one will notice the correlation to Fanboys or me and the Spammer Squad. No one will ever notice the other 9 sites that Andrew K either never posted on or had nothing to do with www.FirefoxMyths.com. I will spread this lie around the Internet as "EVERY" forum. We all know 7 forums run by Fanboys = the millions of forums on the Internet. We also know how being banned from a forum means your information is not 100% factual or fully sourced! Thank god we judge how factual information is based on whether or not someone was ever banned from a forum. Now we all know how I David Hammond conclude my facts. So stop asking me for sources and proof. Just tell me if the person presenting the information was ever banned from a forum! Now go around and call him a Troll because I David Hammond says he is.
This page will be revised as new Fables are confirmed and added. Feel free to submit suggestions or comments to
OptimizeXP@comcast.net (I've tried sending Andrew K emails with my demands but he just added me to his Spam filter. You think he would want to talk to me after I have spread lies and Slandered him every chance I get.)
Make sure to check out these guides before opining:
XP Games - A Windows XP Freeware Game Guide (This site is not really full of Open Source games because Andrew K wants to destroy Open Source because I know he does)
XP Media - A Windows XP Freeware Guide (This site doesn't really have Open Source programs on it and it does not really recommend Mozilla Thunderbird. It is all a conspiracy because I said so)
Freeware Browsers - A Freeware Graphical Web Browser Guide for Windows (No this is not a comparison guide even though it says it is, only pages that I David Hammond declare can be comparison guides)
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