Word War
For Nathan
With undying gratitude to Barbara Ebert

PlayNaked at Burning
Coal Theatre May 2009
Jon Byers, Roberto Velarde, George Kaiser, Aaron Pratt, Julie Oliver,
Hazel Edmond,
Barbara Harrison, Aaron Wright, Hilary Edwards & Elsbeth Cassandra.
Synopsis
Word War is an 9-character (4 men, 4 women, 1
either gender)
full-length farce. The play takes place in present day over the
course of a few days. The set is split into 3 sections - stage
left and stage right are suggestive of college dorm rooms, upstage
center is a bare set
of the play within the play. It contains mild language and sexual
innuendo. A basic PG-13 rating.
GRETCHEN and FREDDIE, college freshman with a complicated romantic
history, are unknowing partners in a class assignment - writing a play
together via email. Each writes a section to which the other can
add before continuing the story, but the rules forbid them from
changing what is already written. Egged on by their respective
roommates, CICI and JOE, they both take advantage of things implied but
not stated to deliberately block the other’s intent and take the play
in a new direction.
The stage is split into Gretchen’s writing space, Freddie’s writing
space and the space where their play is performed. And performed
again with rewrites. And performed again with rewrites. And
performed again . . .
Actors LISA, MONICA, STEVE and CHARLIE portray the characters in
Gretchen and Freddie’s play – LORELEI, MIRABELLA, SIR GALLANTRY and
CHET – and are assisted by a disinterested and irritable
STAGEHAND. The Actors have lives of their own which unfold during
pauses in the action written by Gretchen and Freddie.
Drawing on her obsession with romance novels, Gretchen starts their
play with Lorelei and Mirabella exploring a medieval castle. Freddie
and Joe immediately turn the play into “Die Hard in a Castle” when they
add a knight in shining armor (Sir Gallantry) and – as the play
digresses – a CIA agent (Chet). In spite of the distraction of
Cici’s nonsensical, non-stop chatter, Gretchen musters up the
creativity to turn the CIA upside down.
Lisa, Monica, Steve, Charlie and the Stagehand see, hear and respond to
everything that happens in Gretchen and Freddie’s world. But the
connection only works one way. Or does it? As Gretchen and
Freddie use their play to relive their own bizarre break-up, the Actors
attempt to take matters into their own hands. The three levels of
this farce overlap and intersect until at last they collide
head-on. And you find that nothing is as it seems.
Click
here to download the first 15 pages of Word War.
Author's Note
The idea for this play came from an email sent to
me by my dear friend - and the world's best groupie - Barbara
Ebert. One day, desperate for an idea for a short play for
my son's 8th grade theatre class, I was naturally doing anything I
could to avoid work. While cleaning out my inbox, I came across
the email and voila, had a script for 11 students. But I realized
the characters still had plenty to say. So I doubled up some of
the cast
and expanded the script. So thanks to whoever started the email
about the writing class exercise and the person who forwarded it to
Barbara.
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