• You believe that Sacraments are to be administered, not passed around.
• You hold the doctrine that whatever is worth doing is worth overdoing.
• You think of the Wippell's catalog as liturgical porn.
• You get more exercise genuflecting, kneeling, and prostrating than running, jogging, or walking.
• Most of the volumes in your library have been out of print for over a century.
• The primary causes of your violating the Tenth Commandment are found on the pages of Wippell's.
• You'd consider going over to Rome if it didn't mean giving up being catholic.
• On hearing the parable of the Good Samaritan, you wonder what the priest and the Levite were wearing.
• On Easter morning, the men of your parish wear more lace than the women.
• You believe that the current controversies over the Bishopric of Jerusalem, the Open Pulpit Canon, the ordination of women, the new Prayer Book, and the Bishop of New Hampshire can be settled amicably but that the Alcuin Club and the Society of SS. Peter & Paul may need separate provinces.
• You believe that 'old-time religion' was what we had before Pius XII started mucking around with Holy Week.
• You'll fight to the death for the 1928 Prayer Book, provided it's never actually used.
• You are willing to receive a visitation from your bishop, but would go to the barricades to keep cassock-albs out of your parish.
• You think that 'Almy' is French for Methodist.
• You think that 'On Eagles' Wings' is where Low Churchmen read the epistle.

- Originally compiled by John Treat

Of your charity remember Fr Peter Laister
1927-2002

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