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"Most serious collectors hate guys like Raymond." Annette Cardwell - Boston Herald 8/28/98
"NO! We are not naming our firstborn 'Blade'.. No not 'Snake' either!....." - Annmarie Raymond
"Yes" - Annmarie Carty 6/27/97 Marconi Beach Wellfleet MA
"I Do" - Annmarie Raymond 5/16/98 Marconi Beach Wellfleet MA
AJ facts
AJ got his first computer at age 12 in 1982
"Spacely is a stoop" - Uniblab V
"Fagabeefe" - Melio
"STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!!!" - Some African military guy
"I'm Melvin the mopboy" - some guy in Toxic Avenger
"I don't appreciate your ruse ma'am" - Randall in Clerks
"It's just the wind, It's just the Wind" - Phantasm IV
"They'll fix you.... They fix everything" - Robocop
"That's Rich" - Marty (1957)
"You make good choice John Rambo" - That Asian chick in Rambo II before she gets killed.
"Fuckface?" - Stifler (American Pie)
"In 100 years, what will it matter" - Some chick in The Terminator
"Dumbass" - Red Forman
"Never judge a man until you walked a mile in his shoes, because when you judge him you will be a mile away and you'll have his shoes" - traditional
"We are the president" - Hillary Clinton
"Ich bin ein Berliner" (I am a doughnut) - JFK
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman" - Bill Clinton
"Yes, the president should resign. He has lied to the American people, time and time again, and betrayed their trust. He is no longer an effective leader. Since he has admitted guilt, there is no reason to put the American people through an impeachment. He will serve absolutely no purpose in finishing out his term, the only possible solution is for the president to save some dignity and resign." - Bill Clinton - 1974 regarding Nixon
"We are bigger than Jesus" - The Beatles
"We will bury you" - Nikita Kruscev
"We Built Miami, We will destroy Miami" - Some Cuban chick
"Rip their lungs out" - Al Gore
"No, not the the creator of the Internet...the creator of the World Wide Web" - Greg Boyce when I jokingly said "You work with Al Gore?" when he said he works with the creator of the World Wide Web.
"Don't piss on me!!!!" - I heard this one in the darkness while hiking
"What will you be doing when you are 30 years old and you failed your 10th business?" - an ex-girlfriend complaining about my lack of business success.
"I will be starting by 11th business" - me, to said ex-girlfriend
"I am so proud of you" - my wife regarding my 8th business... our 2nd (Me being 30)
"What did you take...some speed?" - My father on my triumphant 40 hour drive to Boston from Albequerqe New Mexico
"You will never make it in business" - some smelly fat guy who I kept avoiding due to the fact I couldn't stand him
"You have a communication problem" - Jerry "Cape JD" Doyle
"No more guns in school Mr. Raymond" - Sister Ida, Don Bosco
"If I want a master locker key, then I come to you" - J Varra, Vice headmaster Boston Latin School
"Where's the fireworks kid" - Boston Bomb Squad
"No kid, the real fireworks... the bombs" - Boston Bomb Squad (after I gave them my fireworks)
"Fucking AJ" - traditional
"Your ex-girlfriend is gonna set fire to your car. Call me. But not after 11pm" - Mark Bates(answering machine message)
"OW!!!!" (from the next room) - My roommate Jen after I told her that the only way to save her relationship involved her letting her boyfriend make love to her in the most notorious of places
"Yeah right..shutup" - Greg Short
"Aj...just shutup" - Greg Short
"I don't understand why you are still talking" - Greg Short
Billy Squire who said, Its better to die on your feet than live on your knees
When I was young this sort of conduct was a crime.
Then it became shunned.
Then it became accepted.
Now it is embraced.
I hope I die before it becomes mandatory.
1) At least once, did you eat raw eggs after seeing Rocky?
2) Did you ever think Billy Joel and Rocky were the same person?
3) Do you ever silently thank Jack Tripper for building your heterosexuality?
4) Even when you were 8 years old, did you shake your head and think of 20 different ways
the Brady boys could have scored with a chick when they had them?
5)Since Underoos were so cool didn't you feel they were formal wear for any occasion?
6) Am I the only one who sliced their tongue on the little mouthhole in my halloween
plastic mask?
7) The only kid in the neighborhood with a bike helmet was the "special" kid. He
went to a different school.
8) The only drugs in my neighborhood were mickey mouse stamps with acid on them. We never
did see them though.
9) That "Pitch In" painting on the side of the ice cream truck made it fun to
toss trash..unless you touched the sides.
10) Didn't it suck when you had a cool 8-track tape and your parents had the only player.
I am told that there are two constants in life... Death and Taxes. I hate taxes and am not really a fan of death either, but when the politicians start raising tax questions and spinning a good tax tale, I am there at the voting booth to put in my two cents. Likewise, when Don Coscarelli wants to tell me something about death, I will always be there to listen, and eventually I just gotta talk about it.
Here I am..Talking about it.
When I first watched Phantasm in 1980, I had no idea what intrigued me. All I knew is that the movie was so cool that I got a neighborhood kid to lend me his 16mm camera so I could film my version of Phantasm. Well, I know that I was 12, but I admit that I was the suckiest producer, director, financier, etc.. because the project never got past buying the first 3-minute reel of film and filming a few test scenes.
It took a sequel for me to question myself on why I am a Phan. When P2 was released I was jazzed to say the least, but (most important to this writing) I finally figured out what made the films so appealing. Hardware and friendship. The concept of fighting evil with cool friends and cool hardware is a concept that is as old as storytelling itself, though sadly it is a dying trend. Most people nowadays are afraid of even thinking about a Colt .45 and think that a HemiCuda is a pollution-spewing relic better suited to an apocalyptic wasteland future. Most people would rather watch a good Vs. evil movie like Star Trek where only the government has guns and the common people wear tunics and let the "Federation" save them from evil t hings. It is true that one of the most famous movies of all time had people like like Han Solo who carry a nice sidearm and live by their own brand of freedom and justice under an oppressive tyranny but the difference is that the scenario is far removed from our everyday lives. Enter Phantasm. If you are reading this text then I assume that you need no re-telling of the players so all I need point out is that our heroes are still pretty much alive after 20 years with only their friendship and a bunch of high-caliber, high horsepower implements. This immortal dude, who has dimensional travel at his expense, is held back with a few guns and a Mopar. The rest of the long Phantasm story is gravy (gravy is good) and I will keep watching and loving it.
Maybe you were expecting a deep analysis of Phantasm from me? Impossible. You cannot take it as a deep movie. Only your own personal psyche could give you the in-depth analysis you would want to hear. That is the working of the Coscarelli magic. You are left with your own conclusions and subsequent re-written conclusions. 99 percent of the movies are pure human nature, the only difference is that there are guns and friends available when you really need them. Watch them again and see what I mean.
-AJ Raymond
