THING of the Week

This Week's THING of the Day...
an Approximation of a Conversation!!!!

The following is an approximation of a conversation that occurred in the alley off of Levering Street, a half block from Main St. in the neighberhood of Manayunk in Philadelphia PA. on December 31st, 2005, at approximately 2:16am.

Me: What the fuck are you doing? Get the fuck out of here.
Jackass: I was spitting out my gum.
Me: Get the fuck out of here.
Asshole: I can't spit out my gum?
Me (tough): Not here you can't.
Idiot (scared): Wh-- What's your problem man??
Me (pissed): You are. This is my property. I know what you are doing here, now get out.
Missed Oppurtunity for an Abortion: I'm not doing anything, I just wanted to spit my gum out.
Me (tougher): Alright, now you did. Get the fuck out of here.
Him (motioning to trashcan): You want me to get it out?
Me: I want you to get the fuck out of here.
Dick: It's okay, I'll get it out.
Me (bad-ass): I'm gonna kick your ass if you don't get out of here. You aren't the first person I've had a problem with coming back here. Now go piss somewhere else.
Nut-sack (scared): I was not...
Me (menacing): You didn't come back here to piss?
Him (Deadpan): I don't piss.
Me: I know you were gon--- Did you just say you DON'T PISS?!?
Him (Deadestpan): Not since I was 12.
Me (Laughing hysterically): Are you serious? Get the hell out of here. You know what? Go ahead, take a piss.
Him: No, thats okay, you were nice about it.
... and now, he works in my basement, making keys.

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