A nation at war
So Long, Joe
While Joseph F. Ward waited for town and county officials to turn on the traffic light near his home in the north end of Secaucus in August, 1999, he couldn't say enough about his wife, Joan.
She had met the President of the United States, and though Joe said he didn't always see eye to eye with Bill Clinton, he had utter respect for the position.
Joan, he said, had met Clinton, as a result of her involvement in Girls State -- a civic eduation program for kids. She had even shaken Clinton's hand.
After having known Joan over 50 years and been married to her over 45, he still had a gleam in his eyes when he spoke about her. Rarely did Joe talk about himself, about the people he had helped over the years, and how much he cared about those people who fought in America's wars.
In late 1999, friends and associates got together to tell him how much they though about him at a testimonial dinner. Person after person got up and said their piece, painting a portrait of a caring man who – although serving as commander of the local American Legion for years – had seemed largely invisible, doing his good deeds out of the lime light.
But Joe barely had time to stagger into the back room -- the voices and applause still echoing throughout the hall -- where at age 70 years old, he died of an apparent heart attack.
"He died the night he was honored," his wife Joan said later. "He couldn't have scripted it any better than that."
Joan said she and Joe had delayed their marriage so that he could serve out his time in service. The Korean War had broken out, and both thought it wise to wait until it concluded to marry. He went off to serve in the U.S. Army. She went off to take nursing training. Five years later, they were wed.
"He did everything he wanted to do in life, and completed everything he needed to do," Joan said.
Most people who knew Joe used the word "class" when describing him.
"Joe believed in the American way of life, the American Legion, and the Flag. He believed that we must take care of our veterans, and did every thing he could, spoke all the time, trying to make sure Veterans were cared for," Joan said. "People at the funeral home kept coming up to me, telling me about what Joe had done for them. I didn't know he had done so much for so many people.
"I didn't even know who they were," Joan said. "One woman came up to me and told me how Joe had helped her put her father in a nursing home. Since then, Joe had sent the man post cards from where ever he went. Last October, he was in Indianapolis, and he sent a post card from there. That was the last post card Joe sent."”
The number of people who came to pay their respects to Joe also stunned Joan, who noted that even the priest had a tough time getting in to view the body due to the crowds.
"There is a tradition that when a veteran dies, people put a poppy into the casket," Joan said. "So many people put a poppy into Joe's casket that we almost couldn't see Joe."
A day after his funeral, Joan said she has been flooded with cards and letters from all over the country, people in "the highest and lowest" positions needing to say what a gentlemen Joe had been.
Although, Joe boasted about Joan's meeting President Clinton, Joan said she and her husband had many significant moments together, and recalled one very special moment in the 1970s when she and Joe met with the Pope in Rome. They had traveled to Italy as part of an American Legion Delegation involved in a NATO briefing and were granted an audience with the Pope.
"The Pope spoke six or seven languages, but spoke to us in English," she said. "We were thrilled to be in such a holy place. We had two Coronals with us, one from the Air Force, one from the Marines, both liaisons from the Pentagon. We were all crying, especially when the Pope came down to us to shake our hands. It was a wonderful thing to have happened to us."
Joe, who had lived and breathed concern for veterans, was buried in the same fashion, choosing a Burlington County Veteran's cemetery where he would be assured continued attention.
"He wanted to be buried in a place where someone would take care of the grave, put a flag on it every Memorial Day," Joan said.
Two military men from the Air Force attended the burial, folded the flag after it was removed from the casket and the casket was lowered, and brought it to Joan.
"When they handed me the flag, they said the president thanked me and Joe for all we had done," Joan said. "That meant a lot to me."
Published, The Secaucus Reporter, 1999