You become the adult - and as time starts to run! That was as though yesterday, actually happens week, and even one month ago... You will not have time to look back - year has flown by. And we also have not noticed.
How much plans fade, and not having embodied! And the further, the you reconcile to it is easier. You get used.
And the image of the huge ship sparkling by fires floating by, all visits us less often and less often. Perhaps, the ship also was not?...
And can be, ourselves have allowed it to float by? Have not climbed up in time on slippery abrupt steps, have not overcome the powerful cross-current carrying us from its boards. Excused itself this weakness. Were consoled in what after all many have not reached. And then also have at all counted, what is it there was not a ship, and a phantom. And we supposedly all life can flounder in a small ripple...
Yes is not present! After all possibilities at adults more than at children, much more! And the spectrum of pleasures, means, can be big. And those debts and cares in which we are confused all life, - whether are always defensible, whether are always necessary?
Yes, I have understood, that is possible, it is possible not to miss the ship!...

DREAM

I am a lot of years searched for Apollo. Nearby to search for it there was no sense though once it flied absolutely nearby – and in that area where I now I live and where many-storeyed buildings have grown, speak, it was possible to meet him without ceremony. But now is not present. Now he cannot be met not only nearby, but also in close vicinities, to go it is necessary far, to get into mountains, and there too to search and search, because, according to directory Gornostaeva, “there is it locally and in a small amount”.

But with that big heat I searched for it, hoped necessarily to meet. Yes, me it was always believed, that I will by all means meet him because he is live, it remained, it should remain.

In the earliest childhood I, apparently, believed already, that I will find something such though, of course, did not imagine then as it looks, did not think at all, what is it the butterfly – big beautiful, translucent which flies only to solar weather ”. Definitely in children's my dreams its place occupied always something another: that a beautiful and mysterious toy the New Year tree, elegant and sparkling multi-coloured bulbs, and is even better flickering in incorrect light from thin, fiery live uvulas of small candles the fairy tale of the grandmother a lullaby the song of mum. And then, in that period of a life which was called once as adolescence, I too did not understand still, what is it the butterfly and with such name which coincides with a name of the god of art and light in Ancient Greek mythology. Though I, of course, already then noticed butterflies.

Whether yes only butterflies! The hospitable world, appear, has widely opened before me solar open spaces and though the childhood, the adolescence and a youth were at me completely not cloudless as, however, probably, and at the majority of people of my generation, however I persistently believed, that personal my misfortunes all it only and troubles; as well as sorrows of relatives, acquaintances and even my compatriots are only time m casual failures, coincidence of circumstances. And the world, sparkling multi-coloured paints, the solar world prebudet for ever and ever, it is, it is live, he always nearby, and to us only to try to it a key. I and now believe. Here only a key …

In the childhood and a youth of hobbies at me was much. Well for example, a microscope. It confused me extremely. After all through it it is possible to see what so never simply you will see! It was casually found out, that this device is at my grandmother though it always locked it in a case. It has been made of the yellow polished metal – shining, sparkling, gold, with a mobile round pocket mirror below, under a subject little table … It has appeared, the truth, what is it not a microscope, and "trjahinoskop". Why it so was called, I and now do not understand, I knew only, that increase at it not so big, however sufficient to consider, for example, infusorians. Even those poor data, that we received about the world monocelled at school, for some reason very much excited me. Tiny, not visible a simple eye, but difficult, mobile, with the surprising structure, different! Also breed for some reason division … In N.F.Zolotnitskogo's book “the Nature at school” I has read, that it is possible to make something similar to “a magic lantern” with the big flask filled with distilled water which would represent itself magnifying glass and the condenser simultaneously – and then it is possible to consider live infusorians on the screen!

And it was not possible to me to build “a magic lantern”, even the flask was difficult for getting in those days, but here there was something real – the gold microscope named "trjahinoskopom"! Certainly, it hid from me, but once the grandmother all the same has presented it to me. As breath when I established it on a table near to a lamp interrupted, regulated a pocket mirror that light reflected from it got from below to a hole of a subject little table on which the fragment of glass with a considered preparation laid! Hair, a paper, a dust, indoor plant sheet … Then I have instantly been carefully considered has recollected, that somewhere in the street, in several tram stops from my house, saw a heap of sand which turned yellow and to snow – after all there was a winter! – and me terribly it wanted to consider this sand, I have rushed off and to it though there was already first o'clock in the morning …

But many-many hobbies of the childhood and a youth were, it appears only approaches. To what? Then I could not understand it yet.

...The chapter the third

… Mountains already surrounded us from different directions. Here they were still low, green, here and there with yellow stains – blossomed ferula and prangos, - but hardly the peak on which slopes there were white veins far away rose. The asphalt road came to an end in settlement – the small houses, any fences, but here we passed it and have come to be in a small river valley. The mountain small river half hidden in violent blossoming thickets.

Here I have looked back and have understood, what is it Paradise. Present Paradise. At me tears hardly have not acted on eyes, the person and a throat was held down by a spasm. It is necessary to understand my condition – long expectation, vanity and a web of daily cares, melkost, unsolvability of problems, inevitable degeneration of feelings and thoughts and this irritating, exhausting, infinite illness with such "fashionable", modern name. And here …

We were literally deafened by the bird's hubbub, a twitter, whistle. There was such impression, that all of them here have become stupid with happiness because the greens behaved violently, because meal, it is obvious, much, because colours so much … Yes, I never saw simultaneously so much colours and such different! But most of all was all the same colours of a dogrose of every possible shades – from absolutely white with is gentle-yellow eyelashes of stamens in depth as if porcelain bowl to is dense-pink, almost red, and even dark yellow. Each bush has been generously covered by them, and under it the layer of petals still laid. Both all it - and flowers, and petals - exhaled delightful, truly paradise aroma. Grasses blossomed also a hawthorn, both any bushes, and trees, and, certainly.

Air in the usual sense was not, there was that in ancient books was called, apparently, ambroziej, we did not breathe, and drank, absorbed, swallowed, and I do not know, that else did with this dense and simultaneously weightless, extraordinary tasty and freshening matter which filled space between colours, greens and mountains. We bathed in it, were thrilled, were blissfully happy, were dissolved. The spasm was only at first, from unexpectedness, in some minutes I have felt, on the contrary, a full relaxation, trust to all this good fortune. The body exhausted by a city fussy life as if would start. My soul as sleeping and already lost hope to wake up a tsarevna, has suddenly slightly opened eyes, having felt gentle kisses of this air, this cool, this happiness of a life which here without any restrictions triumphed. “To see – and to die” – I has understood sense of this expression. But to die, certainly, it would not be desirable … at all

And there was still a small river. Cold, absolutely transparent – we drank from it. And even slightly popleskali on myself – I, the truth, did it cautiously because we all the same not besplotny, and our flesh, alas, even in such wonderful place "is subject". Bacteria and viruses too should live! A variety of a life after all also is supported by that, that there are predators, a victim, parasites … I felt, that viruses ORZ in me still remained, and they too, probably, have started in delight.

The footpath lasted along small river all time for lifting, in mountains, it jumped from one coast on another and not to leave it, it was necessary to jump from a stone on a stone. And stones laid in raging water. And besides the bird's singing we were accompanied lovely to heart by small river murmur.

That was still perfect, so it is dew. In those places where the small river valley extended, then the big shaggy leaves korovjaka there rose, they were grey-haired from dew, and some sparkled on the sun, as if showered with brilliants (I could not be kept not to embody these leaves on a reversible film). And absolutely it was touching to see on some of them brightly - scarlet and as if varnished, ladybirds which with surprising calmness sat and seemed accurately ground round brooches pinned to someone's rich serebristo-diamond cloaks. The set of bushes of a plant with such democratic name "korovjak" stood in imperial dresses, and no conceit in them existed; we with Igor easy photographed, and ladybirds with such readiness posed for us!

About to photograph all was possible successively, worthy objects around so many that eyes at me have run up. But the conductor Igor, having waited while I will make some shots, has told:

- And how Apolloniusy?

And I have come round.

We have gone further, I felt as in a happy dream, the sensation of the past and the future has disappeared, there was, apparently, only a solar, blossoming present. Then I tried to count up, how much kinds of plants blossomed, has counted some tens the most appreciable and has got off. But after a dogrose the most appreciable were appearing yellowness ferula and prangos; violet vika, high, in growth of the person, forming places penisto-violet islets; any white umbellate, too the high; very bright, solnechno-yellow zveroboj; a yarrow yellow and white; festivalno decorated with white and pink festoons extended tsvetkov, all in long silky silver hairs onosma …

The footpath in all directions slowly and important, vrazvalochku, was crept by the black bugs-kravchiki soiled by the earth, and also every possible chernotelki. Ran, suddenly stopping and sparkling green with iridescent outflow nadkryljami and eyes racers. Scarlet ladybirds shone. Buzzed, flies-sirfidy and wasps, bees, bumblebees ringed striped, osopodobnye. Tiny spiders, ants flickered, flashed and absolutely microscopic winged creations sparkling, as if sparkles …

… From a shade I have come up on the brightest sun – before me the open slope, a such wide hump has swung open flat enough, degrees twenty. The various vegetation was approximately knee-deep, it here had other character, rather than that, that was earlier on our way. Partially it has already burnt out, but among a high dry grass there were nevertheless many various colours, and rozovo-amethystine balls of inflorescences of a wild onion first of all were evident. But I was not in time anything it as it is necessary to make out, because towards to me Igor and as the sun too shone towards went down, because of his head it seemed, that it goes as though in a solar nimbus. In one hand it had a net, and in another he stretched something to me. It were at once two live Apolloniusa, the male and a female.

… They were, of course, perfect. Something unusual was in them, very original and unusual, something they strongly differed from other day butterflies – this shagginess combined with sunniness and a transparency of wings, unexpected brightness of stains. Then I have understood, that in Apolloniusah there was a concentration of spirit of local places – these mountains, green, blossoming, and at tops covered with sparkling snow. It is surprising nevertheless as its spirit is embodied in insects – the diversified, most diverse and numerous representatives of wildlife of the Earth – …

The male was more light, almost white, less transparent, than a female, stains small, but bright. In him, perhaps, there is more than grace, fragility, but the female seemed simply magnificent. The harmonous young gentleman and pyshnotelaja the coddled beauty …

- And it is a lot of them here? – I have asked, at last having lifted eyes on Igor.

- Is. Fly., look …

The big light butterfly was carried by by planning easy flight absolutely near to us and has easily fallen on an inflorescence of a wild onion which under it has begun to rock. It was is pure-white, with small stains, and I have understood, what is it the male.

- And a female, you see? – Igor has told. – and, far away hardly. You see?

They flied, as though dancing, only very softly and smoothly, ancient, slow dance: having waved wings, held them motionlessly, having spread and planning, or, slightly having raised and having made thus a corner, smoothly fell on an inflorescence. They covered its tenacious shaggy legs and, shaking together with it, pytali hobotkom its sweet bowels.

… Also there was that case when the validity did not seem the imagination poorer. How much time I have visited imagination already on this Glade, how much time as if photographed Apollo, a subject of my old Dream! And its spread solar wings with bright red and coal-black stains closed all visible space, and through them blueness of the sky was visible, red proverifications were as though the skilful image at once the several sun, and black, shading them, supplemented a picture, reminding about darkness and freshness of southern nights about what spoke also silvery lunar fur on a little body of the butterfly. Now actually I saw: all indeed. The beauty – beauty of the nature first of all – cannot disappoint never. If, of course, you are ready to apprehending its pure heart.

And I enjoyed it, I gulped, I bathed in beauty, was blissfully happy, I perceived it, apparently, not only eyes, but also all being …

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