AS I BECAME "LEADER"

With photographing of girls was so. In general I took a great interest in a photo since the childhood – after the father there were two antediluvian cameras, "Press photographer" and "Tourist". To remove them it was necessary not on a film, and on plates. Then someone has presented to me old second-hand "FED". Then it was possible to earn additionally on shooting of children in kindergartens, and I have bought at first old "Kiev" in commission shop, and then, at last, new "Zenith" … Printed black-and-white photos on an enlarger "Leningrad".
For the first time the bared women I saw in pictures in Tretyakov gallery. Liked me not all – rubensovskie fat women, for example, seemed rather unpleasant. But some … Are more tremendous! It is difficult to take away a sight though and it is awkward … And still sculptures from marble. And in the best pictures, and in marble female bodies as if were shone … Especially two pictures - Kamilja Coreau's "Bather" and «Frina on holiday posejdona» Seven-Radsky have shaken me. And from sculptures – «Satires and the nymph» Stavassera, and also almost all women Rodin and Kanovy. But I thought with grief, what is it – works of art, and actually, in a life, the bared women, possibly, look absolutely in another way. On a beach, for example, in terrible Soviet bathing suits many seemed me awful …
I have overcome man's "innocence" late, in 23 years old. To it was 22. And I have dared to photograph it "without a thing". Hands for fear shivered, photos have turned out muddy, but nevertheless they have liked me. The truth about a luminescence was speeches … And more to me very much it was pleasant, that in a bottom of a stomach too many dense hair. But to ask it at least slightly postrich them to me even in a head has not come. What there! In reality I and to look there was afraid.
My sexual relations with a female developed first very difficultly – shyness and «social installations» held down on hands and feet. But I understood what to overcome all it it is necessary. Vital! Otherwise what I the man? Gradually panic fear disappeared. And as it disappeared, I started to see, how the young, live female body actually looks. Sometimes it seemed to me even is better, than in sculptures and in pictures … However, in photos it not always turned out. More correctly, it did not turn out almost absolutely … Besides around constantly repeated, that photographing "naked" is a sin, even a crime, for it could plant in prison! A pornography – here is how it was called!
And I all the same removed. How there can be criminal an admiring what is beautiful? In general in process of the growing I with surprise learnt, that all life of "adult" people actually is simply penetrated by lie. Think one, speak another, and do the third. Hate that like, like as if that actually hate, say lies continually, of all are afraid. And especially it concerns relations between floors. Here the cowardice, lies, hypocrisy simply blossom magnificent colour! Almost in all religions the female body and intimate relations between the man and the woman are considered sinful, almost ugly, permissible unless as an exception - for sort continuation. Confirm, for example, that conception of the Christ was "besporochnym", and conception of the usual person "is always vicious". Why? Where logic? After all the God spoke, as if: « Breed and breed ». How to breed and breed, if conception is vicious? The same churchmen assert, that all were around created by the God and repeat, that« On all will Divine "and" Any hair will not fall from a head without Its will to that ». But then means, that the God has created so, that the person is born as a result of conception, men and women aspire to each other, test strong pleasant feelings at dialogue with each other, and the female body is perfect. Where here"perversity"? For whom churchmen accept the God? For the playful boy, who has inadvertently created sexual love and all other to tempt us, unfortunate? Well, nonsense! Clearly, that all these church"wise men", creating the ridiculous rules, have measured on themselves. And actually all – in another way.
Actually a female body fine and piously. And those relations between the man and the woman in which result each person is born Divine, are perfect and svjaty too. Anyway should be svjaty and if they are not that the nature is guilty not, not the God who has created all this magnificent, perfect world and two floors. Insignificant, cowardly, false people are guilty. Which constantly repeat power of the God, about its greatness and wisdom, and believe not to It, and to people who have appropriated the right to speak from His name and concocted different nonsenses. And all life are afraid and lie.
I have understood, what not casually female body is shone in the best pictures of artists and in the best sculptures! I the eyes saw and I see, that the bared female body is shone and in a real life! The problem of the fair photographer and the artist in passing this luminescence and in photos. I also tried to achieve it always.
And here that is especially interesting. Even during Soviet time of the girl easily agreed to pose for me bared though it was risky! And even in the event that close relations between us did not arise. Easily agreed, willingly! And without any payment.
Certainly, I liked all of them. Also I like.
I photographed mainly on colour slides, made of them slajdfilmy under music, showed to visitors – with the permission of girls, certainly, - and visitors admired together with me. Not at once, the truth. For many first naked bodies seemed shocking. Too small sexual experience, too rigid education and habitual installations connected spectators on hands and feet, blinded, frightened … But gradually ice thawed. Visitors to me hundreds came – acquaintances resulted acquaintances, those of the … And here that is surprising: troubles at me in connection with display of such "pornography" was not even during Soviet time. On the contrary! And secret kagebisty for certain happened at me among visitors, and once even the instructor of the Central Committee of the CPSU has welcomed. But sanctions any was not!
Because, I think, it is live in people – despite of everything! – true understanding: that is created by the great Nature – that is the God, - actually fine and piously. Especially the body of the Woman bearing a life. Certainly, it should be adequately reflected in photos.
And in 1992 year in magazine "Пентхауз" whether for fun, whether have seriously written, that me it is possible to name «a leader of the Soviet sensuality». Well, well, I do not mind. A leader so a leader.
And in ten years – in the end of 2002 - to us with my liked wife Olga there have arrived TV men of 4th channel of the British TV from London. Also filmed about «the Leader of the Soviet sensuality». One of shots was such: I lay on an ottoman backwards with the liked camera and I speak: «Ah em rashen best kept sikret!». I click a shutter, the chamber of the operator drives off, and in a shot it becomes visible, that round me – three bared girls with videocameras and more one camera, they laugh and shout «Ur!» One of these charming girls – my wife. The five-minute film was broadcast by 4th channel on all planet in 2003 year …
Here such at us a paradise life. And – imagine! – again all it without any serious financial investments. Any market! Simply life! That is pleasure and respect from different directions. Difficulties because of shortage of money are, certainly. But it not the main thing. The main thing – a life.
Ah em rashen best kept sikret!
That's all.