Finding your way around the art world can be pretty intimidating, what with abstract digressionism and so many other styles of paintings.  First, let's make a clear distinction between appraising artwork and appraising artists.  There are guides for appraising artists, such as Davenport's, which themselves are extremely expensive.  If the initial bidding price of a work is over $200, you are bidding on the artist, rather than the artwork.

Ok, now on Ebay, all paintings are worth $100... plus or minus some amount as described below...
 

1. Decrease the amount by $40 if there are any clowns in the painting (old European style harlequin clowns don't count).
2. Decrease the amount by $20 if there are ducks in the painting.
3. Decrease the amount by $50 if the word "rare" is use in the description of the painting.
4. Decrease the amount by another $10 if the word "rare" is in all upper case letters.
5. Decrease the amount by $20 if the description describes the greatness of the painting.
6. Decrease the amount by $50 if the description describes the greatness of the subject matter.
7. Decrease the amount by $10 if the painting shows a single wave breaking on the beach.
8. Decrease the amount by $20 if there is light showing through the single wave breaking on the beach.
9. Decrease the amount by $20 if there is a sunset above the single wave breaking on the beach.
10. Decrease the amount by $30 if the single wave or the sunset contain colors not found in nature.
11. Decrease the amount by $20 if there is a single bare mountain in the background.
12. Decrease the amount by $40 if the painting consists of a single ship on the ocean with lots of square sails.
13. Decrease the amount by another $40 if the ship is in the exact center of the painting.
14. Decrease the amount by $20 if there are dolphins in the painting.
15. Decrease the amount by $5 if there is a clear attempt by the artist to represent things in photographic realism.
16. Decrease the amount by $100 if the attempt has failed.  NOTE: Do not confuse cubism or other forms of abstraction with failed attempts to represent objects correctly.  This can be tricky, but trust your own judgement, it's probably accurate
17. Decrease the amount by $40 if there are any science or science-fiction related elements in the painting.
18. Decrease the amount by $40 if there are dinosaurs in the painting (unless the painting is more than 30 years old).
19. Decrease the amount by $50 if the subject of the painting is some political current event (and the artist is not famous).
20. Decrease the amount by $20 if the word "geometric" is used in the description.  NOTE: Again, cubes or cubism does not count.
21. Decrease the amount by $50 if the word "reproduction" is used in the listing.
22. Decrease the amount by $30 if the phrase "minor repair" is used.
23. Increase the amount by $20 if the phrase "plein air" is used.
24. Increase the amount by $30 if the word impressionist is used.
25. Increase the amount by $20 if the painter was Dutch.
26. Take the total amount increased or decreased and muliply it by 1.5 if the word "abstract" is used.
27. Decrease the amount by $20 each time the word "modernist" is used.
28. Increase the amount by $40 if the word "cubist" or "cubism" is used.
29. Increase the amount by $40 if the word "listed" is used.
30. Increase the amount by another $20 if the word "well" precedes the word "listed".
31. Decrease the amount by $50 if the word "listed" is accompanied by the phrase "could be".
32. Decrease the amount by $10 if the painting has a title.
33. Increase the amount by $40 if there is an image of the back side of the painting.
34. Increase the amount by $20 if there is an image of the signature.
35. Decrease the amount by $70 if there is an image of the artist.
36. Increase the amount by $10 if there is an image of the backside of the artist.
37. Decrease the amount by $30 if there is any description of which room the painting would look best in (e.g. living room, bathroom, garage).
38. Decrease the amount by $10 if the word "acrylic" is used.
39. Decrease the amount by $30 if the word "velvet or o/bv is used.
40. Increase the amount by $10 if the word canvas is used.
41. Increase the amount by $5 if the word "board" or "linen" is used.
42. Decrease the amount by $10 if the word  "plywood" or "balsa" is used.
43. Decrease the amount by another $20 if there is a description of knots in the plywood.
44. Decrease the amount by $30 each time the phrase "mixed media" is used.
45. Decrease the amount by $50 if there were any body parts* or bodily fluids used in creating the painting, unless they are from someone famous.
46. Decrease the amount by $60 if the phrase "folk art" is used.
47. Decrease the amount by $20 if the painting is not rectangular (NOTE: a square is a rectangle).
48. Increase the amount by $10 if the painting is square.
49. Increase the amount by $10 for every bidder with a feedback value higher than 30.
50. Decrease the amount by $20 for every bidder with a feedback value lower than 1.
51. Decrease the amount by $20 if there are more than 3 bidders yet the current bid is less than 20% greater than the first bid.
52. Increase the amount by $50 if the painting or other artwork by the artist was owned by someone famous.
53. Decrease the amount by $40 if that famous person was a politician (corrupt or infamous polititians excepted).
54. Increase the amount by $20 if the word "reputed" is used in the description.
55. Increase the amount by $1,000 if the painting was created by someone famous (at this point, you're on your own).
56. Decrease the amount by $40 if the painting is of someone famous.
57. Increase the amount by $10 if the painting is out of an estate.
58. Decrease the amount by $20 if the painting is out of a flea market.
59. Decrease the amount by $20 if the artist is still alive.
60. Decrease the amount by $40 if the artist is selling the painting.
61. Increase the amount by $30 if the painting was created between 1900 and 1960.
62. Increase the amount by $20 if the painting was created between 1960 and 1970.
63. Decrease the amount by $10 if the painting was created between 1970 and 1980.
64. Take the total amount increased or decreased and multiply it by 2 if you can't tell what the painting is supposed to be.

* you think I'm kidding about the body parts; there's actually a guy who makes artwork out of discarded body parts from hospitals (such as "lifelike" ashtrays, tables with "legs", and other innovative artwork).
 

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