"I think Ms. Warshaw is brilliant," said Sandra. "Whenever I get one of her memos, I have to read it five or six times to understand what she's talking about."

"That may not be a sign of brilliance, exactly," Meredith replied.

"Her writing is so deep," Sandra went on. "Who else would have thought to call reorganizing the office `priority locational resources reallocation' or buying rest room supplies from a cheaper distributor `enhanced sanitational assets acquisition'?"

"Who indeed?"

"And look at this one," said Sandra, waving Ms. Warshaw's latest effort under Meredith's nose. "It's got a sentence nearly two pages long!"

Understanding Style

Have you ever seen a sweater in a department store display and thought "That looks like something my brother would wear?" Just as some people have such recognizable styles of dress that you can almost pick out the clothing they would choose for themselves, writers have individual styles based on particular preferences. Characteristic decisions about what words to use and how to combine them in sentences comprise a writer's style. Some people's writing styles reveal them as intelligent, clear thinking, and careful. A style such as Ms. Warshaw's communicates other qualities, not very pleasant ones from Meredith's point of view.

A good style is readable and interesting, not necessarily eye catching or elaborate. Your writing style should be as representative of you as your thumbprint. Your own voice should come through in your writing, the voice that results from knowing and accepting yourself and saying as clearly as possible what you have to say.

Reading widely is the best way to develop an effective style. When you study the work of skillful writers, you will notice, for example, that they rely on strong, specific nouns and verbs to convey their meaning rather than on weak or trite adjectives and adverbs. Habitual sentence patterns, such as the use of an occasional short sentence to change the pace after a series of long ones, are also a matter of style.

Achieving a natural style is sometimes easier if you picture a specific reader, perhaps a friend you respect and for whom you would like to express your views clearly. But keeping a potential reader constantly in mind can also be inhibiting. As a result, some writers think only now and then of how a reader would respond and mainly aim to please themselves.

In a college course your professor is your main audience, but you should write for the professor, not to him or her. If you write directly to the professor, you're likely to write more informally than you should, omitting information you're sure he or she already knows but that is essential to your argument. Instead, imagine yourself writing for a more general audience: educated people who expect clear, well-organized prose but who lack the specific information you can provide.

Selecting the Right Register and Tone

If you wear a sweat suit to a wedding where all the other guests are in evening dress, people will certainly notice and disapprove. On the other hand, wearing a tuxedo or a formal gown to play tennis will provoke amusement and head shaking. Just as people have clear ideas about the kind of dress appropriate for different occasions, they have definite expectations for different kinds of writing.

Choosing among the Formal, Middle, and Informal Registers

The term register refers to the variety of language that fits a particular occasion or subject. Different registers require different kinds of vocabulary, punctuation, and sentence and paragraph length. Eulogies, legal briefs, and scholarly papers are written in the formal register. Letters to friends, diary entries, and memos to long-time colleagues are written in the informal register. In between, in the middle register, falls a great deal of academic writing, such as short papers for English classes and answers to essay exams, as well as much of the writing published in newspapers and popular magazines.

The Formal Register

A writer submitting a proposal to a company's board of directors or an article to a scientific journal must follow accepted conventions if he or she expects to be taken seriously. Polysyllabic words (employer instead of boss, for example) and difficult technical terms are appropriate in formal writing so long as they are vital to the writer's meaning and not included merely to impress people. Formal word choice is required (such as "much" or "a great many" rather than "a lot"), and the pronoun "one" is sometimes used. Many sentences and paragraphs in the formal register are lengthy because the complex ideas typical of formal writing require amplification.

Some kinds of language appropriate to the other registers seem out of place in formal writing. The following list gives suggestions that will help you make appropriate choices:

TABLE 9.1: WHAT TO AVOID IN THE FORMAL REGISTER

1. Informal wording: guys, kids, mad (for "angry"), too (for "very")

2. Almost all abbreviations and shortened forms: TV, ad, dorm, prof

3. Contractions: don't, he'll, let's

4. Vague phrasing: kind of, sort of

5. Exclamation points

The Middle Register

Although college research papers are usually written in the formal register, most college writing is in the middle register, part way between formal and informal. Like the formal register, the middle register requires vocabulary suited to an educated audience. On the whole, the conventions for sentence and paragraph length in the formal register apply in the middle register as well.

On rare occasions a colloquialism (a word or phrase appropriate to casual speech, such as "giveaway") or slang (a very informal colloquialism such as "humongous" or "freaked out") is used in the middle register for its vigor or humor. However, because informal language changes quickly, it often makes writing seem dated or hard to interpret. For instance, slang popular in the 1960s, such as "the fuzz" for police officers, is unfamiliar to many people today. To determine whether a word is appropriate to a particular register, check its usage label in a dictionary. (A usage label is a term or abbreviation indicating that a word or a particular use of a word is not standard.) The word slang and the abbreviation obs. (for "obsolete") are examples of usage labels. Unlabeled words are considered part of the standard English vocabulary. However, you should keep in mind that many standard words can be used as slang. For example, hit is standard in most of its usages but slang in "hit the sack."

Abbreviations, contractions, and other shortened word forms which are inappropriate in the formal register may be used in the middle register, but sparingly.

The Informal Register

Writing in the informal register is freer than writing in the formal or middle registers, but it still follows certain conventions. Vulgar expressions and swear words are not appropriate even in informal writing, nor are nonstandard terms (words such as ain't that are not generally used by educated native speakers). Certain uses of standard words are considered nonstandard. For instance, like is used as an interjection ("It was, like, awesome") only in nonstandard speech. Regionalisms (terms common only to limited geographical areas) are standard in the speech of particular regions but not in the writing. Regionalisms such as goober ("peanut") and tonic ("soft drink") may not be understood outside the areas where they are common.

Informal writing is often characterized by imprecise word use, such as pretty to mean "somewhat" (as in "He's pretty funny") rather than "attractive" (as in "The flowers are pretty"). Pronouns may have vague antecedents in informal writing ("Margo started talking to this man she had met") and "like" may be used as a subordinating conjunction in place of "as" ("Charlie flunked the exam like I knew he would"). Short sentences and paragraphs are acceptable in the informal register. Small numbers (1 through 10) can appear as numerals in informal writing but should be spelled out (one through ten) in college essays and most business writing. If you are unsure about whether or not to use a long form (telephone for "phone," cannot for "can't"), follow the general rule "If in doubt, write it out."

A sense of what to avoid in the formal and middle register will develop gradually as you gain experience in academic and business settings. Good writers differ on which specific words and constructions belong in which register, so if you are writing for an employer or a college professor, follow the instructions you are given.

TRY IT OUT

Can you adapt your writing to the demands of different registers? Experiment with writing formally and informally by describing a change you would like to make at school or at work. Select a topic such as a new college major, a semester of independent study, or an innovative way to reorganize the files in your office.

First, use the informal register to write a letter to a friend explaining the proposed change. Such a letter might begin, "Dear Kathy, Believe it or not, I've finally found a truly fantastic major!" Then use the formal register in a letter on the same subject to your academic advisor, a department chairperson, or a top executive in your company. Such an account might begin, "Dear Dr. Bartlett: I would like to change my major from forestry to accounting."

EXERCISE 1

Directions: The items below illustrate informal speech. Rephrase them so that they are appropriate to writing in the formal or middle register. Write your versions on the lines provided. Answers will vary, but sample answers are given at the back of this book.

Example: People with asthma freak out when the air quality stinks.

_____Asthma sufferers are distressed by poor air quality.________

_________________________________________________________________

1. Move your stuff out of here before Mr. Leithauser flips out on you!

_________________________________________________________________

2. The whole office can't forget the fun bash my boss threw over at his place.

_________________________________________________________________

3. Lots of people get so bombed they drive like idiots, so who needs it, right?

_________________________________________________________________

4. Some guys like working overtime, but they're pretty out of it!

_________________________________________________________________

5. When you're in jail, you can watch TV and yack on the phone a lot.

_________________________________________________________________

6. Another reason nobody wants to live in a dorm is there's a bunch of off-the-wall nerds and jerks in dorms that are always a real pain.

_________________________________________________________________

7. It really gets me when I think of how women who have breast implants are hassled and ripped off by money-hungry docs.

_________________________________________________________________

8. Bill wants to ace his chem class, but so far he's just barely hanging in there.

_________________________________________________________________

9. Norma is really into reggae music and so is this dude who lives over by me.

_________________________________________________________________

10. One of those neighborhood watch programs sure beats asking the cops to scope out the neighborhood all the time.

_________________________________________________________________

Deciding between a Personal and an Impersonal Tone

Just as choosing the correct register for a particular piece of writing can make its intended audience more receptive to it, choosing the correct tone can increase its effectiveness.

Tone

Tone is the quality of speech and writing that reveals people's attitudes toward their subjects, their audiences, and themselves. A tone of voice can vary from affable and kindly to arrogant and defensive; similarly, tone in writing can reveal a wide range of emotions and perspectives. In argument, writers must choose between a personal and an impersonal tone--that is, they need to decide how close a relationship to establish between themselves and their audiences. Generally, a personal tone is appropriate to the informal register while an impersonal tone is appropriate to the formal and middle registers.

Using pronouns precisely will help you set the correct tone in all your writing. The first sentence of this paragraph, which is typical of this book, uses the words you and your to establish a personal relationship between us, the authors, and you, the reader. A less personal version of the sentence would be "Using pronouns precisely will help writers set the correct tone in all their writing." Sentences of this type also appear in this book. Choosing the pronoun one would be still more impersonal: "Using pronouns precisely will help one set the correct tone in all one's writing."

Person

Choosing pronouns is easier if you understand the grammatical term person, which refers to the distinction between a person speaking (first person), a person being spoken to (second person), and a person or people being spoken about (third person). Third person pronouns (such as she, one, and they) are used in the formal register almost to the exclusion of first person pronouns (such as I and we) and second person pronouns (such as you and your) both of which are mostly characteristic of the informal register.

Using I (or we if more than one author is involved) is acceptable in the formal and middle registers so long as the first-person pronoun is both accurate and necessary. When recounting a personal experience or opinion, substituting such expressions as "In the experience of the author . . ." or "This writer thinks . . ." for the straightforward I can seem pompous. However, using I excessively calls too much attention to a writer. Consider the speaker's self-important attitude in the following passage:

NOT: I have carefully considered the question of whether pilots should or should not be allowed to fly double shifts, and after six months of study I have concluded that I cannot support such a proposal.

Readers of this report want to know whether pilots should or should not be allowed to fly double shifts, not how much the writer struggled to reach his conclusion. The rephrased version, "Pilots should not be allowed to fly double shifts," still leaves no doubt that this is the writer's opinion since it appears in his report and is not attributed to anyone else. The version below, in which the writer includes a personal reference, is also acceptable since it keeps his role in proportion to its importance:

Six months' study has convinced me that pilots should not be allowed to fly double shifts.

Sometimes writers use we to refer to themselves and their readers, taken together. For example, in the sentence "We must work together to ensure that a patient's poverty no longer results in delayed treatment for cancer," the writer uses we to refer both to herself and to readers who agree with her view.

The pronoun you can be used in the formal and middle registers only when writers address readers directly. In a business letter, the sentence "I expect to hear from you by the fifteenth of next month" is acceptable because the pronoun you clearly refers to the person receiving the letter. However, you is also an informal way of referring to people in general, as in the sentence "If you park illegally anywhere downtown, your car might be towed away." This use of you to mean "anyone" is too casual for the formal or middle register. Fortunately, an idea expressed by this general use of you can always be recast in the third person: "Drivers who park illegally anywhere downtown might have their cars towed away."

Writing Clearly and Concisely

A written argument is intended to convert readers to its author's viewpoint. But people won't budge an inch from their original convictions if what they read is repetitive or garbled. To be convincing, writers must produce straightforward, readable prose.

Writing Clearly

Most written arguments require complex thinking but not necessarily complicated expression. In fact, the more involved your ideas, the more you need to write simply and clearly. Most readers will not tolerate fuzzy thinking, so you should scrutinize each word you write to avoid antagonizing people. Work to produce clear, orderly sentences; group related ideas together and emphasize essential points.

As the American novelist Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961) pointed out, "Writing plain English is hard work." When people neglect to do that hard work, arguments are likely to be muddled. Writers need to grasp their own viewpoints fully and make them clear to readers who are not necessarily familiar with key terms.

Jargon

Jargon is specialized vocabulary understood by people who have studied a particular discipline but obscure to outsiders. Myocardial infarction is medical jargon for heart attack; dog and blitz are football jargon for different kinds of defensive maneuvers. People who understand these terms prefer them because they're precise. But those who know their meanings sometimes forget that others don't. A doctor telling a worried family that a loved one has suffered a myocardial infarction and a lifetime football fan telling a novice to watch a dogging linebacker and a blitzing safety are ignoring the needs of their audiences.

Sometimes in writing an argument you will need to unravel baffling material for your readers. For instance, to understand why you oppose building a new nuclear power plant in your area, your readers might need to know exactly what caused the accident at Three Mile Island in Pennsylvania in 1979. To succeed, your explanation must be clear. This may mean substituting ordinary language for jargon or adding everyday definitions for the jargon you do use.

Writing Concisely

Some people write as if they're being paid by the word--they seem to think the longer a piece of writing is, the better. The opposite is true. Concise (brief and clear) writing conveys information as succinctly as possible. Using too many words is known as being wordy; the unnecessary words are called padding or deadwood. Like dead branches that must be cut before a tree can grow properly, deadwood should be pruned to reveal the essential meaning of each sentence. Deleting needless words is like cleaning up clutter in a messy room or weeding a flower garden. Once it's done, everything that remains looks better.

A certain amount of repetition is built into the standard organizational pattern of an argument: main ideas are stated in the thesis, the topic sentences, and again in the conclusion. Within a paragraph, key words are repeated to keep main points in readers' minds. However, redundancy (needless repetition) merely weighs readers down:

Campers are not required to bring optional equipment such as battery operated reading lamps.

The word optional means "not required" and is therefore redundant.

Often writers include phrases such as "The point I am trying to make is . . ." and "It should be pointed out that . . ." Such expressions can be dropped entirely. The following list suggests additional ways to replace deadwood with concise wording:

TABLE 9.2: CONCISE REPLACEMENTS FOR WORDY PHRASES

Wordy Expressions Concise Replacements

at this point in time now

due to the fact that because

each and every each

for the purpose of for

in order to to

in the event that if

in today's society today

in view of the fact that because

the reason is because the reason is

until such time as until

EXERCISE 2

Directions: On the lines provided, write a concise version of each wordy sentence below. The number at the end of each item indicates how many words are in the revised version of the sentence at the back of this book. See if you can do as well or better at eliminating unneeded words. (Answers will vary.)

Example: Those programs that at the present time require welfare recipients to attend classes should be ended and instead replaced by the provision by the government of publicly-funded jobs for people on welfare (14).

____Programs requiring welfare recipients to attend classes______ ____should be replaced by publicly funded jobs.__________________ _________________________________________________________________

1. In Maine, by the year 2000 tourism and the tourist industry should take the place of and supersede in importance the position currently held in Maine by the industry devoted to lumber (15).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. It should by pointed out that the best way to stabilize and maintain the faltering economies of countries in Latin America is to ease the process whereby loans are made available to enterprises that are small and that thereby do not now qualify for loans intended for the purpose of business (18).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. William Ewart Gladstone was one of the most illustrious, famous, and celebrated prime ministers Great Britain ever had, but it is said that he was also one of the prime ministers around whom many and numerous controversies developed (16).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. The reason that at the beginning of the twentieth century Italian intellectuals planned and dreamed of starting the 1900s with a new national culture is because they hoped such a culture would include and embrace all Italians (17).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. The point I'm trying to make is that pigs are reputed to have high intelligence and by reputation at least are known to have greater intellectual capacities and potentialities compared to what is known about the basic mental capabilities of dogs (9).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. At this point in time in our society today a key element in congressional campaigns is the sum total of the amount of money disbursed and paid out by each and every candidate in order to participate in a race for a seat in Congress (14).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. The refurbishment and restoration of the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel authentically reflects and manifests the intentions Michelangelo had in mind for the original chapel ceiling (10).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. The right to express one's views, by which I mean freedom of speech, a freedom guaranteed to all, is currently being menaced and today faces many threats on the college campuses of our country (10).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9. In view of the fact that hospitals devoted to making a profit wrongly and unfairly monopolize patients who have a great deal of wealth of their own, it comes as no surprise that, indeed, hospitals not intended to make a profit are inequitably burdened with the care of the poverty-stricken indigent and also find that they are unjustly responsible in addition for those patients who lack medical insurance (18).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. Children should be given allowances, and each year they should be given yearly increases, but at the same time they should be required to spend the money they get through the larger allowances on increasing numbers of the things they need and want to purchase (19).

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Avoiding Inappropriate Language

Of the crimes perpetrated by writers, boring their readers and insulting them are among the worst. Timid, outworn wording will make readers yawn; abuse and ridicule can anger them. Shun both extremes by learning to detect the following categories of wrong words in the wrong places: clichés, emotional and offensive language, euphemisms, and doublespeak.

Clichés

Sometimes the first words that come into writers' minds are precisely the ones they need to make their points clearly and forcefully. But most of the time people think first of expressions they've heard over and over again--"I cried my eyes out"; "This is the last straw"; "She's always there for me." Such phrases are clichés, expressions that have been used so often they've lost all of their freshness and much of their power to communicate precisely. One sign of a cliché is that given the first part of it, almost anyone can provide the rest. For example, given "The sweet _____ of success," most people can supply the word smell almost without thinking.

Many clichés are comparisons that were once clever and illuminating but are now so familiar that they no longer make much of an impression. The comparison "pretty as a picture" once had the power to suggest a beautiful painting of an exotic scene. If something was as pretty as a picture on a wall, it must have been truly appealing. Now, however, the phrase "pretty as a picture" has been used so often that it means no more than "pretty." Besides being trite, a cliché is sometimes inaccurate. To say a coat has undergone a lot of wear and tear, for example, is imprecise if the coat is worn but not torn.

A fresh comparison that surprises people is far more effective and memorable than a cliché would be. For example, the expression "pretty as a peach tree" can bring into people's minds an image of a flowering tree in full bloom. The comparison between the object being described and a peach tree has the power to communicate because it is new. However, if it became popular and were repeated often enough, it would become a cliché and be no better than "pretty as a picture" is now.

Using clichés as substitutes for precise observations leads to tired, uninteresting writing. Eliminating clichés is indispensable if you want to avoid sounding (and thinking) like everyone else. It's not a satisfactory solution to enclose clichés in quotation marks to show that you know you shouldn't really be using them. Instead, substitute a plain statement for the cliché; instead of "worth its weight in gold," write "very valuable."

In clichéd writing, commonplace ideas and worn out wording take the place of careful observation and original thinking. When the only support you provide for a claim is one cliché after another, your argument becomes slack and lifeless, and your credibility drains away. The basic rule when evaluating phrasing such as "It meant the world to her," "wise as an owl," or "last but not least" is "If you've heard it before, don't rely on it in your paper."

EXERCISE 3

Directions: Show your familiarity with the clichés below by filling in the blanks.

Example: Keep your ____nose_______ to the grindstone.

1. He's as blind as a _______________.

2. My car is as old as the _______________.

3. It's just the tip of the _______________.

4. Do it slowly but _______________.

5. She's as busy as a _______________.

6. Let's take the _______________ by the horns.

7. He's as dead as a _______________.

8. My friend Joe is as sick as a _______________.

9. It's time for you to face the _______________.

10. Sink or _______________.

Now choose two of the items from the list above, and complete them with interesting, original wording of your own:

_______________________________________________________________

Emotional Language

Readers want to detect some emotional commitment on a writer's part. Few people would continue reading an essay that begins, "I don't suppose anybody really cares, but . . ." If a writer doesn't care, readers won't either.

People who are fiercely committed to their beliefs can be persuasive, but most readers distrust authors who allow biases to distort their reasoning. Such writers are often suspected of misrepresenting facts or even lying. An objective reader compensates for suspected bias by shifting a little to the other side, working extra hard to detect an essay's factual errors and flaws in reasoning.

Suppose, for example, you are reading an essay on the psychology of child molesters by a writer who appears at first to be well informed and reasonable. After describing a particularly brutal case history, he continues with a sentence about the molester that begins, "This disgusting pervert . . ." You may have been horrified by the example yourself, but once the writer displays his emotions, your attitude towards his argument changes. You realize that he is expressing his own loathing, not trying to understand what makes molesters act as they do. Whether you share the writer's feelings or not, you can no longer entirely trust his recommendations about effective treatment for convicted molesters.

Fortunately, there are usually several ways to express the same idea, so you can choose one that reveals strong feelings without the prejudices that sometimes accompany them. Think of potential readers as fair-minded people who are not yet on your side. Your task is to persuade them by presenting yourself as fair minded too. If you call your opponents unpleasant names or poke fun at their positions on issues, you're likely to offend readers rather than win them over. When you have convincing material to offer as evidence, present it as vividly as you can and let your readers draw their own conclusions. If your argument has flaws, you are better off strengthening it by reasoning more carefully or collecting better evidence than trying to mask its weaknesses by name calling and overdramatizing your position.

Offensive Language

Some emotional language is objectionable because it is offensive. Calling an opponent "stupid" or "dishonest" not only does nothing to improve a writer's argument but is also likely to alienate both the target of the abuse and the audience. However, some writers use offensive language because they are unaware that their choice of words could insult people or hurt their feelings.

A writer who attempts to inject humor into the discussion of a serious issue must always be alert to the possibility of offending others. While an occasional quip may be welcome in an otherwise earnest debate, many people see no humor whatsoever in topics such as abortion or capital punishment. Remember also that many jokes derive their humor from an underlying hostility towards people the joke teller would like to feel superior to, such as those with other ethnic backgrounds or a different sexual orientation. Before including any joke in an argument, a speaker or writer must be certain both that the joke is funny and that its humor does not stem from cruelty or bigotry.

Swear words can also offend. Using "damn" or "hell" is not only too informal but also risks the loss of readers' respect and good will. Remarks springing from intolerance of other people's beliefs and practices can have the same effect. This does not mean that you should never tackle controversial issues, but that you should be careful not to give needless offense.

Unfortunately, speakers and writers can be unaware of the stereotypes that underlie some common words and phrases. A few of these stereotypes seem harmless. For example, the term "Welsh rabbit," which describes melted cheese poured over toast, is based on an ethnic slur: Welsh hunters are supposedly so incompetent that their families end up eating cheese and bread instead of rabbit. Welsh people might not object to being stereotyped as incompetent hunters; however, stereotyping is usually more obviously hurtful. A person of Dutch descent might be offended by the term "Dutch treat" because it unfairly implies that the Dutch are less generous than other nationalities. And a person of Gypsy origin might well object to the word gypped on the grounds that Gypsies are no more inherently dishonest than other ethnic groups.

In choosing terms for ethnic groups, you will avoid giving offense if you select the designations favored by the groups themselves. For example, do they prefer Indian or Native American, black or African American, Eskimo or Inuit, hispanic, latino, or chicano? You may find that mentioning ethnicity is not even required. Referring to a "Native American doctor" is usually unnecessary; just say "doctor." Always beware of any wording that denigrates groups of people by referring to their gender, race, ethnicity, religion, social class, sexual orientation, or physical ability.

Sexist Language

Sexist language (wording that reveals a bias against one sex, usually females) implies that only men or women ought to fill certain roles or possess certain characteristics; it can also cause offense and should be avoided. The use of a term such as mankind to mean "men and women" or he to mean "he or she" is no longer acceptable. The word his in "When a lawyer is appointed to a judgeship, his law firm often gains prestige and influence" implies that only male lawyers can be appointed as judges. Terms such as businessman (instead of "executive" or "businessperson"), stewardess (instead of "flight attendant"), or congressman (instead of "member of Congress") are based on stereotypes about the roles suitable to men and women.

Adding the term lady, woman, or male to a title such as doctor, lawyer, or secretary is also inappropriate. The designations "woman doctor" and "male secretary," for example, suggest that women who become doctors or men who become secretaries are somehow exceptional. The growing number of people who work at jobs once thought appropriate only to the other sex makes such usages old fashioned and inaccurate.

The following list contains common sexist terms and their more accurate equivalents:

Sexist Terms: Nonsexist Equivalents:

chairman chairperson (or chair)

mailman mail carrier

male nurse nurse

mankind humanity (or men and women)

old wives' tale superstition

policeman police officer

There are several ways to avoid sexist use of pronouns. In place of he, him, and so on you can use "he or she" and its equivalents: "When a lawyer is appointed to a judgeship, his or her law firm often gains prestige and influence." But several of these pronoun pairs in the same sentence or in several sentences in a row can seem awkward. A smoother alternative is to recast the sentence or entire passage in the plural since plural pronouns do not indicate gender: "When lawyers are appointed to judgeships, their law firms often gain prestige and influence." Another option is dropping pronouns entirely: "The law firm of a lawyer appointed to a judgeship often gains prestige and influence." In addition, when you use hypothetical examples, assign roles to males and females on an equal basis to avoid giving an impression of sexism.

Euphemisms

A euphemism (derived from the Greek words eu, meaning "pleasant," and phm, meaning "speech") is a word or phrase that takes the place of a term with unpleasant or offensive connotations. Euphemisms are substitutes for more forthright terms referring to sex, disease, death, and other natural bodily functions.

People today occasionally use euphemisms to avoid mentioning unpleasant subjects directly, but the practice was far more prevalent during the Victorian era (1837-1901). Victorian euphemisms still used today include calling the breast and leg of a chicken light and dark meat (because Victorians considered the words breast and leg sexually suggestive) and referring to a toilet as a lavatory (a room for washing one's hands). The word toilet illustrates the tendency of euphemisms to take on the unpleasant meanings they were intended to avoid; it originally meant "lady's dressing room." Now it is usually replaced by a term such as bathroom or rest room.

It's easy to laugh at Victorian squeamishness, but some euphemisms still have their place. For example, rather than saying of a beloved old pet, "I'm going to have the dog killed," using a euphemism such as "put to sleep" might well spare your family's feelings somewhat. However, in argument, euphemisms lead to pompous, boring writing. Referring to a person as having "gone to his rest" when you mean he's dead or writing that a woman is "expecting" when you mean she's pregnant seems unnecessarily timid. Worse, some euphemisms are too imprecise to be useful: "making love," for example, can mean anything from engaging in flirtatious conversation to having sexual intercourse. If you require a direct term to make your point, do not hesitate to use it.

Doublespeak

Related to euphemisms, but often more sinister, is language intended to mislead people or conceal information. In his novel 1984, published in 1949, George Orwell (1903-1950) portrayed a world in which totalitarian governments try to alter people's perception of reality by altering their language, constantly repeating slogans such as "WAR IS PEACE" and "FREEDOM IS SLAVERY." Orwell modelled the terrifying details of 1984 on the propaganda techniques developed by real governments during the twentieth century. Since Orwell's novel was published, the use of language to conceal unpleasant realities has spread from government officials to corporate policy makers, public relations experts, and advertisers. Therefore, detecting intentionally misleading language is becoming increasingly important. The following examples are included in William Lutz's book Doublespeak, published in 1989:

During the Vietnam War, Pentagon officials were keenly aware of the need to keep public opinion on their side. They waged frequent battles with journalists over language, as when Colonel David Opfer, Air Attaché in Cambodia, lost his temper with a group of reporters over their accounts of U.S. air attacks: "You always write it's bombing, bombing, bombing. It's not bombing! It's air support!" In the same spirit, the military preferred to use "friendly casualties" caused by "accidental delivery of ordnance equipment" to refer to American soldiers mistakenly killed by U.S. bombs or shells.

When the Sun Oil Company fired 500 people from its corporate headquarters staff some years ago, its spokesperson remarked, "We don't characterize it as a layoff. We're managing our staff resources. Sometimes you manage them up, and sometimes you manage them down." Corporations have also referred to firings as "workforce adjustments," "headcount reduction," and "negative employee retention."

In 1985 the Texas state legislature passed a law prohibiting a student who received an F in any subject from playing high school sports. Coaches who lost some of their best players due to the new law protested vigorously. Ed Joseph, president of the Texas High School Coaches' Association, defended the rights of such students to participate: "They're not failing," he pointed out. "They're deficient at a grading period."

After you become alert to doublespeak, you'll find that it is all too common in many walks of life. An effective defense against it in argument is to rephrase your opponent's doublespeak in simple, straightforward language. Suppose, for example, someone claims that your town is "in a period of negative economic growth." If you respond, "You mean that local businesses are losing money, right?" your opponent may squirm, but she will probably admit that you have paraphrased her comment accurately enough.

EXERCISE 4

Directions: The numbered phrases below illustrate emotional and offensive language, doublespeak, and euphemisms. Match each item to the more desirable wording that should replace it by writing the correct letter in the space at the left. Some of the lettered items will not be used.

A. businessperson

B. dentist

C. died

D. getting fired

E. humanity

F. is pregnant

G. jail

H. mail carrier

I. member of the clergy

J. murder

K. my opponents

L. seat belt

M. superstitionExample: __H___ mailman

_____ 1. my witless opponents

_____ 2. clergyman

_____ 3. long-term structured environment

_____ 4. passed on to his reward

_____ 5. unlawful deprivation of life

_____ 6. expects a little bundle of joy from heaven

_____ 7. being presented with a career change opportunity

_____ 8. lady dentist

_____ 9. mankind

_____ 10. passive passenger restraint device

Writers express their individual styles through the words they use and the way they combine them in sentences. Two important aspects of style are register, the varieties of language that fit particular occasions and subjects, and tone, the qualities of speech and writing that reveal writers' attitudes. Clear and concise writing requires the avoidance or definition of jargon and the elimination of redundancy. Clichés, emotional and offensive language, euphemisms, and doublespeak are inappropriate in arguments.

CHAPTER EXERCISE

I. Matching

Directions: Match each term on the list below with its definition by writing the correct letter in the space provided.

Terms:

A. cliché

B. colloquialism

C. concise

D. doublespeak

E. euphemism

F. jargon

G. person

H. regionalism

I. register

J. sexist language

K. slang

L. style

M. tone

N. usage label

Definitions:

_____ 1. characteristic decisions about what words to use and how to combine them in sentences

_____ 2. the variety of language that fits a particular occasion or subject

_____ 3. word or phrase appropriate to casual speech

_____ 4. very informal colloquialism

_____ 5. term or abbreviation indicating that a word is not standard

_____ 6. term common only in a limited geographical area

_____ 7. the quality of speech or writing that reveals writers' attitudes toward their subjects, their audiences, and themselves

_____ 8. the grammatical distinction between a person speaking, a person being spoken to, and a person or people begin spoken about

_____ 9. specialized vocabulary understood only by people who have studied a particular discipline

_____ 10. brief and clear

_____ 11. wording that reveals a bias against one sex

_____ 12. expression used so often it has lost its freshness

_____ 13. word or phrase that replaces wording considered unpleasant or offensive

_____ 14. intentionally misleading language

II. Multiple Choice

Directions: On the line at the left write the letter of the phrase that best completes each item.

_____ 15. Writing in the formal register is often characterized by

A. long words, long sentences, and long paragraphs.

B. abbreviations and shortened forms of words (such as phone).

C. a personal, emotional tone.

_____ 16. Nonstandard terms are words

A. common only in certain regions.

B. not generally used by educated native writers.

C. containing several syllables.

_____ 17. The word you is

A. appropriate in the formal register only when referring directly to the reader.

B. never used in the middle register or the informal register.

C. never used in writing at all.

_____ 18. Redundant writing

A. effectively communicates key points.

B. contains no deadwood.

C. is unnecessarily repetitive.

_____ 19. In the formal and middle registers the language most likely to convince readers is

A. as emotional as possible.

B. euphemistic.

C. clear and concise.

_____ 20. Language intentionally used to mislead readers is

A. impossible to respond to in a written argument.

B. justified if it helps a writer to prove a claim.

C. common in government and business.