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Thursday, March 18, 2010

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Side Effects of using Pristiq

It's ironic that the biggest side-effect of watching the Pristiq commercials is depression. That wind-up doll in the commercial makes me want to jump. First of all, who the hell still plays with wind-up dolls? Of course she's depressed, she's playing with toys from the Great Depression.
Pristiq


Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Marriage Woes

Most couple argue about the same things: sex, money, communication, and housekeeping. We argue about sex and housekeeping. I think we'll always fight about that. Unless I hire a housekeeper and have sex with her.

My wife says I don't listen. I think that's what she said. So, we've been working on 'reflective listening'. That's where you repeat back what your partner said to verify you understood their intent. Like, I'll talk and she'll say, "What I think I hear you saying is our lack of intimacy makes you feel isolated and unwanted." I'm not sure how she got all of that out of "let's hump", but sure. Or she'll talk and I'll say, "What I think I hear you saying is blah blah blah yada yada yada".


Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Friday, March 05, 2010

Marketplace Commercial

Here is Kansas City comedian Brad Meehan in an ad for Marketplace in Lawrence. I was the doctor. "Does this look infected?"




Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Reparations Deal

Did you know the original Reparations deal was for "40 Acres and a White Woman"? And they said, "Screw that. Got anything less stubborn?"






Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

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Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Untouchables

My 10 year-old daughter asked me what a 'virgin' was. I showed her my senior picture. She said, "I thought that was a 'homo'?"






Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Friday, January 01, 2010

Who bought the jar of gravy?

When it comes to eating habits, there's a thin line between 'pregnant woman' and 'stoner'




Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Random Updates

Asked Connor to list some things he loved. "Mom & Dad" came in right after Nintendo DS, bean bag, and BBQ sauce. In all fairness, it is good BBQ sauce.

Great. My daughter now knows what a 'period' is. "It's the thing mommy gets on holidays, anniversaries, and vacations" where magically every 28 days, Snack Fairies appear and fill our cupboards.

PMS: Purchase More Snacks

I hate cats but I love cat naps.

I love award shows. I wish I could play orchestra music whenever I wanted someone to stop talking.

I've eaten so much junk food lately if I cut my finger queso would come out.

Watching a transgendered couple assemble a crib on Discovery Health. She might have changed her gender but you can't change the fact that 's/he' just hammered with a shoe.

I'm going to send the kids to their rooms today - as punishment for anything they might have gotten away with.

Hard to believe a few people my age are already grandparents! Can't imagine being called 'grandpa'. There are days when I don't even want to be called 'dad'.

Nothing like coming home to 3 screaming kids. It's days like these when I wish Maury Povich would pop out if the closet with the DNA test results. "You are NOT the baby daddy."

Daughter asked me if girls at my school wore Poodle Skirts. Yeah. Right after corsets and powdered-wigs went out of style.




Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Time Served

I hate when you ask someone how long they've been married, they also feel compelled to tell you how long they dated as well. Like, "We've been married for a year, but have been together for five." When men say it, it means, "I was afraid of commitment but now I want the credit for it." When women say it, it means, "I want everyone to know just how long I've been putting up with his sh*t."






Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Hail Mary

I got into an argument with Connor on whether or not there was a prayer called, "Hail Mary full of grapes". Jane had to break out a bible to settle the score. I lost.










Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Giggles and Boots

We were asked to open for country band Outlaw Junkies in Kearney. The kids came to the show and loved hearing my stories about them. They felt like stars.











Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Michigan!

We took the kids to Grand Rapids, Michigan to visit my parents. Before we left I told the kids we were taking to an orphanage. 13 hour drive and not one time did I hear, "Are we there yet?".

For my birthday we went to the Beltline Bar for their famous wet burrito.













Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Seka

You never know who you'll run into at the comedy club. Here's 70's porn star "Seka" at the Kansas City Improv.












Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

College Graduation Party

I performed at an outdoor college graduation party last night. What a fantastic group. They set up rows of chairs around the patio and Alan Grafton and I did our thing. Thank you Cathy!





Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Friday, May 29, 2009

I'm going to count to three...

My kids learned fractions by listening to mom 'try' to discipline them. "I'll to count to 3... 1, 2, 2 7/16, 2 5/8, 2 3/4..."




Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.