Merry F****N Christmas

Santa finally came! Then he rolled over and smoked a cigarette.

Coincidence

As soon as I walked into the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota, I got diarrhea.

Miracle

During my baby's baptism, a miracle occured. As the priest lowered her tiny little body into the water, she closed her eyes, turned to the crowd, then yelled, "Marco!?"

Poem

Here's a lovely poem from 'pomegranate' and my reply:

"It's the weekend and you're on the porch. There's a window between us and I'm blowing warm breath. I'm drawing a heart with my index finger to show you happy love in the condensation."
--pomegranate

"It's the weekend. You locked me out and I'm on the porch. Quit drawing on my f**king windows."
--Brad

Cuckoo

I've never had an orgy but I have had sex with a girl with multiple personalities.