Ode to Carmex: Haiku
Just a little squeeze
Would make my chapped lips better
No Carmex today
posted by Bradley Meehan @ Thursday, October 13, 2005
1 Comments
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Would make my chapped lips better
No Carmex today
Bradley Meehan
Some of his clients include Hallmark, Reece and Nichols, Community America Credit Union, The Elms Resort and Spa, and more. Bradley can be heard on Sirius Satellite Radio and on 610 Sports in Kansas City, where he makes regular calls and commentary. He is also a member of the 610 Sports Caller Hall of Fame.
As a regular host at the world-famous Kansas City Improv, Bradley has worked with some of comedy's top performers such as Greg Giraldo, Kevin Nealon, Drew Hastings, Lisa Lampanelli, Robert Hawkins, Ralphie May, Robert Schimmel, Michael Winslow, and Darren Carter.
"Brad was far away the best comic in the 'Funniest Person in Kansas City' competition"
Elliott Threatt
From his off-beat delivery to tall tales of his quirky family members, Kansas City comedian Bradley Meehan always delivers a highly energetic, hilarious performance. His talents have recently earned him recognition as the All Comedy Radio "Funniest Person in Kansas City" and was a finalist in the national Maxim Magazine - Budweiser "Real Men of Comedy" competition.
Grammy Nominated Comedian
"All Comedy Radio Funniest Person in Kansas City"
Video Clip
Kansas City ImprovBradley 101
Here are some things I love or hate(or just useless facts about me)
I speak Italian. The first word I ever learned was 'accendino', which means 'lighter' + I'm a stand-up comedian + I'm addicted to Carmex. + "I like big butts and I cannot lie" + Whenever I read aloud to children, I yawn uncontrollably + I'm a bad spellar + I adopted a Golden Retriever from the pound named 'Lucky'. + I can 'gleek' + Peeling labels off of cold beer bottles + I wasn't allowed to watch 'Silver Spoons' because Ricky Schroeder said, "sucks" + I use way too many napkins when I eat + I've never seen 'Bambi' + Salty Iguana steak fajitas + I hate the sound of my voice on recordings + I have 'urinal phobia' which means I hate using urinals. I always wait for the stall + I will watch the timer tick down on a microwave no matter how long it is set + Chicks with glasses are sexy + Purple Rain soundtrack + If I really think about sex (I mean really think about it), I sneeze + I make beer + I 'gross out' if there are crumbs in the butter + PF Chang's Lettuce Wraps + My porn name would either be "Johnny Depth" or "Girth Brooks" or "Jeff Fuxworthy" - I can't decide. + I act in independent films - I'm currently playing a high school teacher + Horizontal stripes + I like girls either really short or really tall. + I'm too lazy to get out the ironing board. I iron everything on the floor + French Kissed: 5th grade. French Tickled: None of your business + My minor in college was Math, but I can barely add two numbers. + I never floss + Foreign accents + 'Plinko' on The Price is Right + Bjork + Eye contact + Terrell Owens touchdown celebrations + I get the hiccups when I eat a Whopper + Gate's BBQ + "Wonderland Avenue" - by Danny Sugerman + Thunderstorms + Warm, over-sized sweaters + I rarely eat candy, but if I do it's a 'Reese's' + I've never hit a baseball - even at a batting cage + Emo Philips + I can't swallow capsules. I will put them in a marshmallow and pretend I'm chewing it + Quoting obscure lines from 80's movies ("I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen" - Say Anything) + Brown eyes + Ordering appetizers + Talking with ornery old men - it reminds me of my grandpa + My friends in Italy thought my name was 'Bread' and I never corrected them + Project Greenlight + "Si lavora e si fatica per la pancia e la fica" + I can't sleep unless there is a fan running + Confidence + If I go to a store or restaurant on a holiday, I always thank the employees for working that day + Eddie Haskell from 'Leave it to Beaver' ("Your house looks impeccable today, Mrs. Cleaver") + I hate to see people get hurt, but I love to watch them fall + Catching Fireflies + First Dates + Choose Your Own Adventure books + Blue popsicles + Going out for breakfast + If you rearrange the letters of my last name, it spells "HeeMan" + Biographies about weirdos + Toasting marshmallows + I can solve a Rubik's Cube + Christmas Eve + Kids laughing + Rimini, Italy + FIFA Soccer + Kissing + I'm a 'people person' who hates people + I've removed a mole with nail clippers. It bled for a week + Cotton candy at baseball games + Lost in Translation + Taking naps + The Cure + Cabernet Sauvignon + Cuddling + Low-mileage moms + I share a birthday with Donny Most ("Ralph Malph" from Happy Days) + First sip of coffee in the morning + I hate when my hands smell like food. I have to wash them immediately after I eat + I gag uncontrollably on dental x-rays + I'm horrible with directions - you have to reduce them down to 'left' and 'right' instead of 'west' and 'east' + Green Bay Packers + I brought a kiddy pool when I was deployed to the first Gulf War + Reading the "Missed Connections" in the personal ads (desperate, but strangely romantic) + Documentaries + I talked so much in school that I had to bring a note home from 3rd grade each Friday that said whether or not I could watch 'CHiPs' (Side Note: I was "Ponch" for Halloween that year) + Nervous 'butterflies' + Hereford House KC Strip with the Blue Cheese Peppercorn topping + Radiohead + Sharp insults, sharper comebacks + Playstation Portable (PSP) + I've been to more countries than States + I hate pie crust + Fake nails, real boobs + Smoking ribs (in a smoker, not a bong) + 80's music + Ivy + I'm scared of petting zoos + Chamomile tea on a cold night + Boulevard Beer + First Crush: Heather Hill (6th - 12th grade) + Brunettes are yummy + If you've been paying attention, I mentioned short chicks, glasses, and accents. I would not rule out that little midget lady from Poltergeist . + Flirting + Donnie Brasco + Esthero + I sleep on top of the covers with my own blanket + Brian Regan + Black coffee, black beer, and, what the hell, black chicks + I spent 8 years in the Air Force + Penne Rustica + I barely graduated high school but I graduated Cum Laude from college. + My favorite season is Fall + Sitting outside by the patio fireplace + Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts + Popeye's Fried Chicken with a Jalepeno + Limoncello + Callaway Big Bertha Golf Clubs + Old school video games (Pac Man, Frogger, Joust, Defender, etc) + I've never seen an episode of Star Trek but I'm a big nerd + Ratchet and Clank + Bruschetta + Widmer Hefeweisen (from the tap, not the bottle) + Sarcasm + Office Space + Tailgating at the Chief's games + Corollo's Italian Grocery in the River Market + Bulgogi and rice + People watching + My left thumb is double-jointed + I let the water run when I brush my teeth + I'm afraid of snakes. If I see a snake on TV I have dreams about snakes that night + The thing I hated most about the Air Force was traveling. Now it's the thing I miss the most + I go to bed wearing socks, but kick them off during the night. You can always find 20 or 30 stray socks under the bed + I like the smell of birthday candles when you blow them out
Previous Posts
- Yellow
- Pet Names
- Livin' on the Edge
- Schedule
- Shooting Star
- What a Smile
- Superhero
- Validation
- Katrina
- Ultrasound
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1 Comments:
Cute. I love my carmex too!
I wrote a Haiku for Kurt:
He makes people laugh,
Sometimes he pisses me off,
Say your sorry Krut.
Ha-Ha! Can't remember what he did to be sorry for, but I'm sure it was something. :-)
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