Tourettes

I'd like to give a shout out to all the people with Tourettes Syndrome.


(think about that one)

New Vacuum

On my wedding day, I got not only an new wife, but a new vacuum, too. I think it's time to get a new one. For some reason, it just stopped 'sucking'. But, the vacuum still works great, though.

ADHD Summer Camp

I saw a TV program about a summer camp for kids with A.D.D. - or Attention Deficit Disorder. It was nice. They showed these kids swimming, boating, hiking, fishing, skiing, canoeing - all at the same time.

Sink or Swim

My kids are taking swim lessons - a five-day class at $90 a piece. I remember my mom just dunking me in the cold, blue water. To this day, I still have nightmares about that urinal.

Old dog, new tricks

I saw a guy at Walmart today with a bag of dog food and a box of Depends in his cart. I was thinking, 'Dang. How old is that dog?'

Friday night fun

I did another guest-spot at the comedy club last night for the James Johann show.


James Johan, Will C, and Brad



Short Chicks. Yum.

Dream Differed

I was woken up last night from a deep sleep and a hot dream starring Pamela Anderson. I tried to go back into the same dream, I somehow ended up making out with Florence Henderson.

Dying of Thirst

I read that if you were dying of thirst, you could actually drink your own urine. It's like 99% water. The problem is the other 1% tastes kinda like piss.

Autograph

It happened. Someone asked me for my autograph. I always told myself if someone asked me for my autograph, I would get theirs too. Well, 'Delphine', you are the star tonight. Thank you.

Straight Edge

I was reading an article about "Straight Edge" kids; that is, a group of kids that identify themselves with a big black 'X' on their hand to signify their commitment to not drinking or having premarital sex.

I didn't need a big X on my hand to remind me I wasn't getting laid in high school. I believe the pimples and the hand-me-down Tough Skins said it all.