Athletic Supporter

The fastest way to make your kids seem smart is to surround them with kids who are slow. My son thinks he's the captain of a football team because all of his friends wear helmets.

Thanksgiving

Gathered around the table, each person revealed the things they were thankful they had. I decided to reveal the things I was thankful I didn't have - like syphilis and a big vagina. It's definitely more fun this way, especially if you don't tell anyone what you're doing.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

PS: I eventually told everyone I was kidding about the vagina.

Triptofun

Taking a Thanksgiving Day nap with your hand down the front of your pants is perfectly acceptable. Taking a nap with your hand down the front of someone else's pants apparently is not. Sorry about that, Uncle Paul.

Holiday Plans

This year we're planning a more traditional, old-fashioned Thanksgiving. First we'll eat turkey, then we'll drink wine, load up, and then we'll go steal some Indian's land.

Old school.

Winslow, Part 2

I just finished up my week with Michael Winslow. The Saturday crowds were great. There were two buses full of people there for a party. I had two good sets and tried a few new jokes. Great way to end out the week. Now I must sleep.



Brad, Michael Winslow, Chris

Winslow, Part 1

Last night was the first night of the Michael Winslow show. Both shows were packed! The first show's crowd had so much energy. Here are a few audio clips from the show.

Audio

1. Validation
2. Irish Catholic
3. Embarassing Products

Induction Ceremony

The 610 Sports Caller Hall of Fame induction ceremony was held yesterday at Nick and Jake's in Overland Park. Eight callers were inducted.

I gave my induction speech on-air which turned out amazing. I got such a great reponse during and after the speech. You can't start a day better than that.


Here's me giving my acceptance speech



Brad and "Wolverine Willy"

Baggies

I think I should stop wearing such baggy clothing. For one, it makes me look chubby. And two, I think I just wiped my ass with my sleeve.

Thursday Slump

Small crowd. Tonight was Dobie Maxwell's last night in Kansas City. That guy just pounded out an hour solid. Here's what he said about the book:

"Not only has Brad written a funny and informative book, he has also been personally responsible for increasing my daily fiber intake so I can spend more time reading and enjoying it."

Dobie Maxwell
"Mr. Lucky"

I also got to meet Michael Winslow, who I will be working with tomorrow night.



Jamie ("Brad's #1 Fan"), Brad and Tessa

Hall of Famer

This just in! I was selected to be one of eight 610 Sports Caller Hall of Fame inductees tomorrow!

Wendy Liebman

I wanted to generate some comments and short reviews for my book so I contacted some of my favorite comics and asked for quotes for the back cover. I hoped, but never expected Wendy Liebman to reply. Some how she found my website and wrote, "I just read some of your blog. You're so funny!"



Are you kidding me? Wendy Liebman has to be one of the best comedians I have ever seen. Her style and timing are impeccable and the jokes are so creative and clever. Having her say 'I'm funny' is like Emeril Lagasse telling you your Gumbo is good, or like Pam Anderson saying you have nice boobs. Even if I don't get a quote, that had to be one of the nicest compliments I've ever received. It's one thing when your buddies tell you you're funny, but when of the greatest comedians says it, it means something complete different.

Thank you, Wendy!

Lisa Lampanelli Show

Lisa Lampanelli, the Queen of Mean, came into town to do one show so I got to open for her and Dobie Maxwell. Drunken fools filled the room on a Wednesday. It was a great time. Ryan Sims from the Kansas City Chiefs was there with his jaw dropped to the floor as Lisa ripped through the room.

"Mr. Lucky", Dobie Maxwell gave a non-stop bombardment of jokes. Impressive.


Lisa and Brad


Brad, Dobie, and drunk chicks

BDFS

I didn't get a chance to put these pictures up from the Big Dumb Fun Show. It was definately more 'fun' than 'dumb'. Frank and Venkman were amazing. I knew Aaron and Steve from All Comedy Radio and a comedy competition so it was nice to see some familiar faces.

Unwritten Law

Apparently there is an unwritten rule that says if you walk into a restroom and someone is standing at the urinal, you are supposed to use the urinal furthest from them. No one told me this rule. Needless to say, it was a little awkward sharing the urinal.

In the Red

If I were the Tooth Fairy, I would leave things under the kid's pillow to promote tooth loss and therefore guarantee repeat business - like candy, or crack, or NASCAR tickets - not money. That's smart business.

Geographically Inept

I always thought Tommy's accent was French Canadian. Boy, I wasn't even close. Tommy was born without a tongue.

Big News

This just in: Lisa Lampanelli, the Queen of Mean, will be in town for one show only and I will be the opening act! Come out to Stanford's Wednesday 8 PM!

Review from an Aristocrat

Here's an excerpt of a review of my book from the Aristocrat's Emery Emery:

"I handed the book to a homeless guy outside my library one weekend and he started laughing with delight. He would turn a page and laugh like a mad man. Throwing his head back clutching at his chest like Fred Sanford in the throws of a mock heart attack....Brad has created a book that cures drug addiction and/or severe alcoholism. Brad should be knighted by the queen and handed every literary honor known to mankind for his achievement…I have personally ordered 27 copies for delivery to every drunk and junkie I know..."

Emery Emery
The Aristocrats


ORDER MY BOOK HERE!

Present Magazine

I was interviewed last night by Kansas City's Present Magazine. Excerpts from the book as well as the interview will appear in their December issue.

Rich and Creamy

I bet there's lots of chocolate in heaven. Otherwise, angels would be bitches.

Big Dumb Fun Show

I was invited to be a guest on the Big Dumb Fun Show next week!

This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

My mom used to give me bare-butt spankings. That was painful. You know, having to see her butt and all.

Dropping the Kids Off at the Pool: A Bathroom Book

My book is now ready and available just in time of the holidays! Please check out Dropping the Kids Off at the Pool: A Bathroom Book. Twisted minds ONLY!!! It's only $10 and all of the proceeds go to a lost cause - me.

Welcome, Tony's KC

Tony, a KC blogger legend, posted a nice message about my blog. Welcome to all of his readers!!

P TV

I went to a sports bar this weekend that had flat-panel tv's above the urinals. Great concept, poor execution. I mean, you can hardly see the screen when it's two inches from your face - I mean, when it's eight inches from your face.

Spooky

Grandpa loves Halloween. It's the one day of the year he can pass out candy and scare kids and not be called a 'preditor'.

I'll get to it...

I have found that the best time for procrastination is later.