ShakyVoice.com

Friday, May 29, 2009

I'm going to count to three...

My kids learned fractions by listening to mom 'try' to discipline them. "I'll to count to 3... 1, 2, 2 7/16, 2 5/8, 2 3/4..."




Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Cry Baby

"Colic" is crying for 3 hrs/day at least 3 times a week for 3 weeks. That's also the same symptoms of someone watching the Lifetime Channel.




Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Eight Lives Too Many

All dogs go to Heaven. All cats go back to Hell.









Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Green Day

Green is the new Annoying





Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Neat Freak - Emphasis on the word "Freak"

My bride is such a neat-freak. It drives me nuts. Just to spite her, when I die I'm having my ashes scattered on the kitchen floor.






Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Brie Johnson on Millionaire Matchmaker

Friend and comedy writing partner Brie Johnson will appear on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker. She will be opening for her millionaire/hypnotist/zebra Anthony Cools at the Paris Hotel in Vegas.

Millionaire Matchmaker annoyances:
  • Patti Stanger has a Super-Secret Database 'full' of available women but yet every show she has to scramble to get enough girls to attend her mixers.

  • Patti's catch phrase is "Does the penis go up and down off the couch?" If you had a penis that could sit on a couch, you wouldn't need a matchmaker, you'd need a porn 'stache.

  • She boasts a 99% success rate - the other 1% is apparently her. She's 47 and not married. She has a mysterious boyfriend that no one has seen - like Jan Brady's imaginary boyfriend "George Glass". (when they met, did Patti's penis get up off the couch?)

  • Every show - despite the '99% success rate' - ends with "...they did not see each other again". That's weird math.

  • The only tolerable person on the show is dude with the mowhawk.


There's a ton more to read at www.BradMeehan.com.

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