Comedian Brad Meehan - Kansas City Comedian and KC Stand-up Comic

Reparations Deal

2010-02-02T15:01:00.002-06:00

Did you know the original Reparations deal was for "40 Acres and a White Woman"? And they said, "Screw that. Got anything less stubborn?"

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Random Updates

2010-02-01T09:17:00.002-06:00

Asked Connor to list some things he loved. "Mom & Dad" came in right after Nintendo DS, bean bag, and BBQ sauce. In all fairness, it is good BBQ sauce.

Great. My daughter now knows what a 'period' is. "It's the thing mommy gets on holidays, anniversaries, and vacations"

Magically every 28 days, Snack Fairies appear and fill our cupboards. PMS: Purchase More Snacks

I hate cats but I love cat naps.

I love award shows. I wish I could play orchestra music whenever I wanted someone to stop talking.

I've eaten so much junk food lately if I cut my finger queso would come out.

Watching a transgendered couple assemble a crib on Discovery Health. She might have changed her gender but you can't change the fact that 's/he' just hammered with a shoe.

I'm going to send the kids to their rooms today - as punishment for anything they might have gotten away with.

Hard to believe a few people my age are already grandparents! Can't imagine being called 'grandpa'. There are days when I don't even want to be called 'dad'.

Nothing like coming home to 3 screaming kids. It's days like these when I wish Maury Povich would pop out if the closet with the DNA test results. "You are NOT the baby daddy."

Daughter asked me if girls at my school wore Poodle Skirts. Yeah. Right after corsets and powdered-wigs went out of style.

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Untouchables

2010-01-06T13:32:00.003-06:00

My 10 year-old daughter asked me what a 'virgin' was. I showed her my senior picture. She said, "I thought that was a 'homo'?"

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Heavy Petting

2010-01-04T17:31:00.002-06:00

People bring their pets into Petco! You can pet people's pets in Petco! Looks like I have a new favorite store! "Boobco"

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Who bought the jar of gravy?

2010-01-01T14:21:00.002-06:00

When it comes to eating habits, there's a thin line between 'pregnant woman' and 'stoner'

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Time Served

2009-11-18T21:09:00.001-06:00

I hate when you ask someone how long they've been married, they also feel compelled to tell you how long they dated as well. Like, "We've been married for a year, but have been together for five." When men say it, it means, "I was afraid of commitment but now I want the credit for it." When women say it, it means, "I want everyone to know just how long I've been putting up with his sh*t."

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Hail Mary

2009-10-30T18:55:00.003-05:00

I got into an argument with Connor on whether or not there was a prayer called, "Hail Mary full of grapes". Jane had to break out a bible to settle the score. I lost.

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Giggles and Boots

2009-08-20T07:30:00.000-05:00

We were asked to open for country band Outlaw Junkies in Kearney. The kids came to the show and loved hearing my stories about them. They felt like stars.

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Michigan!

2009-08-08T07:35:00.001-05:00

We took the kids to Grand Rapids, Michigan to visit my parents. Before we left I told the kids we were taking to an orphanage. 13 hour drive and not one time did I hear, "Are we there yet?".

For my birthday we went to the Beltline Bar for their famous wet burrito.

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Seka

2009-07-29T07:34:00.001-05:00

You never know who you'll run into at the comedy club. Here's 70's porn star "Seka" at the Kansas City Improv.

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Little Man

2009-06-19T11:42:00.002-05:00

I was invited to perform at a fund raiser for Daniel "Little Man" Snook, a 9-month old baby battling cancer. If you live near Edgerton, MO please come support this great cause.

"Little Man (aka Daniel, Jr) was diagnosed at 3 months old with Choroid
Plexus Carcinoma, a very rare brain cancer. Little Man's Mom left her
job to care for him, his Dad is currently deployed to Iraq, and his older
sisters are being cared for by other family members. Visit
www.caringbridge.org/visit/danielsnookjr for futher info on his
condition."

When: June 20, 2009
Where: Edgerton, MO
City Park (In case of rain it will be held at Mt. Zion Baptist Church, Edgerton, MO)
Time: 4-8pm
Cost: By donation

For booking information, visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

College Graduation Party

2009-06-07T09:31:00.003-05:00

I performed at an outdoor college graduation party last night. What a fantastic group. They set up rows of chairs around the patio and Alan Grafton and I did our thing. Thank you Cathy!

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

I'm going to count to three...

2009-05-29T06:31:00.001-05:00

My kids learned fractions by listening to mom 'try' to discipline them. "I'll to count to 3... 1, 2, 2 7/16, 2 5/8, 2 3/4..."

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Cry Baby

2009-05-29T06:24:00.001-05:00

"Colic" is crying for 3 hrs/day at least 3 times a week for 3 weeks. That's also the same symptoms of someone watching the Lifetime Channel.

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Eight Lives Too Many

2009-05-29T06:22:00.003-05:00

All dogs go to Heaven. All cats go back to Hell.

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Green Day

2009-05-27T06:29:00.000-05:00

Green is the new Annoying

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Neat Freak - Emphasis on the word "Freak"

2009-05-26T06:37:00.000-05:00

My bride is such a neat-freak. It drives me nuts. Just to spite her, when I die I'm having my ashes scattered on the kitchen floor.

Visit Kansas City Comedian Brad Meehan at www.BradMeehan.com

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Brie Johnson on Millionaire Matchmaker

2009-05-08T07:50:00.002-05:00

Friend and comedy writing partner Brie Johnson will appear on Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker. She will be opening for her millionaire/hypnotist/zebra Anthony Cools at the Paris Hotel in Vegas.

Millionaire Matchmaker annoyances:

Patti Stanger has a Super-Secret Database 'full' of available women but yet every show she has to scramble to get enough girls to attend her mixers.

Patti's catch phrase is "Does the penis go up and down off the couch?" If you had a penis that could sit on a couch, you wouldn't need a matchmaker, you'd need a porn 'stache.

She boasts a 99% success rate - the other 1% is apparently her. She's 47 and not married. She has a mysterious boyfriend that no one has seen - like Jan Brady's imaginary boyfriend "George Glass". (when they met, did Patti's penis get up off the couch?)

Every show - despite the '99% success rate' - ends with "...they did not see each other again". That's weird math.

The only tolerable person on the show is dude with the mowhawk.

There's a ton more to read at www.BradMeehan.com.

Deceptive Women

2009-04-29T16:13:00.001-05:00

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Connor's disasterous First/Last Communion

2009-04-20T07:06:00.000-05:00

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Harland Williams

2009-02-17T10:32:00.005-06:00

I will be opening for Harland Williams at the Kansas City Improv April 23-26.

Note that shows are now Thursday - Sunday
Thursday: 7:30 PM
Friday/Saturday: 7:30/9:45 PM
Sunday: 7 PM

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Busy Week of Comedy

2009-02-15T11:17:00.003-06:00

This week I got to travel to Washington, KS to do a show for their annual Chamber of Commerce event. It was such an interesting, small town. I stayed in a motel next to a store called "Camp Creek Bird Seed and Golf Carts" (for the bird lover on the go?). That was not the strangest combination business in town. There was a chiropractor/gun store. The people were great we really had some good laughs and a nice dinner.

There was a tomcat outside my motel door howling the entire night. I imagine a few local kids were sitting in their truck outside my door tossing sardines out the window. "Welcome to Washington, city boy."

On the way home I saw a sign outside of Seneca, KS that says: "Seneca: A Great Place to Live: School, Church, People". I was thinking, "I don't like any of those things."

I also saw a semi turned over on it's back on the side of the highway. Either the wind got it or it wanted me to scratch its belly.

Saturday I performed at the Lake Winnebago Yacht club for their annual Valentine's Dinner. Bob Bennett was a terrific host. Those people really like to let loose and party. Here were some numbers from the bar: 22 cases of beer, 9 cases of red wine, 5 cases of white wine, 5 bottles of vodka, and 7 bottles of Scotch. And that was just Bob's tab. :)

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read or visit www.BradMeehan.com

Bad Barbie

2009-02-12T10:19:00.004-06:00

Parent's are protesting Barbie Dolls, saying they give young girls a negative body image. Because, no matter what they do they can never obtain the same proportions as Barbie and end up resorting to extreme measures like plastic surgery.

You can't blame Barbie for that! I agree this country has an obsession with plastic surgery. It's too easy. You don't like your eyes? Just change your eyes. Don't like your nose? Get a new nose. Don't like your lips? Get new lips. But that's not Barbie’s fault! That's Mr. Potato Head's.

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Just for Laughs auditions - Kansas City

2009-02-04T10:25:00.001-06:00

I had an audition for the Montreal Just for Laughs Festival. They sent someone to film our set. There were only ten comics picked to audition including Jason Dixon, Bill Blank, Skip Clark, Justin Leon, Johnny O, Sean Brennan, Mike Smith, and Kurt Ramos. We each got six minutes to do our thing. It was a very strange crowd and we really had to work for the laughs. Dixon said it best when he announced, "That joke was way better than you gave it credit for."

I went sixth after Skip who had a good set, so they were warming up to us by then. My opening joke wasn't the best. I did the bit about the weather man who forecasts your wife's mood. Looking back, I shouldn't have opened with it. It's more of a middle-of-the-set joke, not an opener. The rest of the set went well, especially the joke about the jeans (below a few posts). That joke is destroying every time. Overall, I had a decent set - not spectacular. But, I'm afraid they'll watch the opening bit and fast-forward me.

Hopefully one of us will get a call back, although there are only 20 spots TOTAL. It's a long, long, long shot.

I have a show in Washington, KS and a Valentine's dinner party next week. Those shows are fun because you get 30-45 minutes to be yourself, tell your stories, and relax.

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.

Bon Jour!

2008-11-15T16:53:00.003-06:00

Hanging out in Paris this weekend. My train pulled into the train station early morning just when people were scurrying about, fetching fresh bread for the day.

Paid 1 Euro to use the restroom. Got my money's worth.

Stopped and had coffee at a little cafe and watched Parisian life happen around me.

Walked to the Eiffel Tower, Le Louvre, Champs D'Elise, Arch de Triumph, etc...and back.

I learned that French people don't really hate Americans. They must just hate you. If you're polite and at least try to speak their language, you'll do just fine here. I also learned that there's no such thing as taking too many pictures. I'll post some, I promise.

Back to London for a few more weeks....then I'm heading home for a late Thanksgiving with my bride and my babies.

Email Me brad@shakyvoice.com

Check the Archives. There's a ton more to read.