My Story
In retrospect, I have been symptomatic of bioplar disorder (BPD) from the
age of eight. Back then, I had depressive bouts and bursts of anger that were
beyond normal. Late into high school, my symptoms got worse. My anger and
quick temper raged, while on the downswing, I increasingly found myself deeper
in depression, losing time and experiencing increasing paranoia. My attempts
to self medicate with alcohol and the occasional illegal substance only exacerbated
my condition.
I then flunked out of college and tried to hold down various jobs as my symptoms
became more intense. My wife (then fiancee) convinced me to seek medical help,
and as a result, I was entered into a 30-day alcohol and drug rehab. The hospital
staff said my problem was not the substance abuse, but they believed me to
be bipolar, or manic-depressive.
In 1989, a psychiatrist at my insurance company, Kaiser Permanente, told me
that they did not recognize manic-depression as a disorder/disease and could
therefore not treat me for it. But they could treat me for depression, a treatment
plan my wife and I would soon regret.
After weeks of unsuccessfully trying new antidepressants, almost killing myself
and others, destroying many of our possessions and losing job after job (not
including the time I spent barricaded in our apartment for days at a time),
I moved to Knoxville where I was finally diagnosed and treated for bipolar
disorder.
In no time, relatively speaking, I was well on the way to a stable and productive
life. The next ten years were not easy, mind you, but they were better than
the alternative. I am alive and well.
But, I don't want an important aspect of my recovery and life to get lost
in this abbreviated version of my trials and tribulations. My wife hung in
there through all of the good and bad. She has never claimed to understand
what I must have been going through, but she took the time to learn about
my disease, its implications and, through knowing me, she learned how to best
handle my extremes. I can easily say that without her, I would likely be dead
today. Because of God and her, I have never been happier about life.
2008 Update
Although my wife has withstood much throught the years, I now see that there is a breaking point in people. She does still care for me and my well being, but the years of swings have taken their toll. I can't help but to think she longs for what could be in a stable environment. And I can't blame her. I uderstand. And in love, I will do, or not do, what I need.
The future does not promise to be easy, but I will never be alone.
Bipolar Frequently Asked
Questions
I think I may be bipolar. Should I go to my family physician, or should
I see some kind of specialist?
Initially, you should consult with your primary care physician (PCP). The
main reason for this is that most health plans today require a referral for
you to see a specialist. If your PCP does suspect a bipolar disorder, he or
she will want to refer you to a prescribing psychiatrist for evaluation. Personally,
I saw a myriad of counselors, therapists, psychologists and non-prescribing
psychiatrists before I recieved the medication therapy that turned my life
around. The key is to be persistent in your pursuit for the best treatment.
What should I do if I think my medications aren't working, or if the
side effects become disruptive in my life?
DO NOT stop taking your prescibed medication unless authorized by your physician.
If you are having serious problems with your moods, immediately call your
physician regardless of the time. If the side effects are unbearable, your
physician should be able to help by making adjustments or by switching to
another type of medication. Currently, newer medications are becoming available
that offer fewer adverse effects.
Should I notify my employer of my condition?
This is a tricky situation, and requires more explanation than I can give
here. What I can say is that if you do reveal your illness, you are opening
yourself up to increased scrutiny, even discrimination. Rarely, you will find
an employer who is understanding and accomodating. This is unfortunate, but
real. Generally, to be protected by law (ADA) you have to ask for accommodation,
which realistically means telling your employer. It is a double edged sword
for sure. Use your best judgement based on your particular situation.
What rights do I have if I feel like I have been discriminated against at
work?
If you have asked for accommodation in compliance with ADA, you may have recourse.
It is best to contact your state EEOC office or a law professional to determine
if your rights were violated.
I have a family member who refuses to accept my diagnosis, or cannot
handle it very well. What can I do?
This situation can often be denial or as a result of a lack of information.
Possible solutions include letting your family member learn about the illness
from your doctor or counselor/therapist. The better informed one is, the less
fear and misunderstanding there is. Ask them to sit in on your doctor visit
or offer them some reading materials. Education is the key.
Is bipolar disorder genetic?
Research has shown that bipolar disorder tends to run in families (ususally
from the paternal side) and a number of genes have been linked to the disorder.
The actual biochemical causes have not been identified.
Will my children be bipolar?
Studies suggest that in couples where one spouse has bipolar disorder, there
is a one in seven chance that their child will have the illness. The ratio
increases greatly in families with a higher incidence of bipolar disorder.
I know someone who I think may be bipolar, but they will likely refuse
any help. What can I do?
Support their family/loved ones first. Someone who is manic ususally feels
great and will not see a reason to seek help. For those who are in a depressive
mood are more likely to get help with some coaxing. Be cautiously patient
and persistent. Unfortunately, in many cases it takes a crisis event to initiate
the healing process.
Despite my treatment, I am experiencing severe episodes (manic or
depressive or both). What is the best course of action?
Contact your physician immediatley and seek a different treatment course.
If you feel your physician is not responding accordingly, seek a new physician.
You need to have a good trusting relationship with your physician for an effective
treatment.
How do I shop for a physician I can trust?
It is important that you are comfortable with your physician. Often, your
first choice doen't work out. Seek out referrals from your PCP and from other
people who are bipolar. There are many support groups in every city where
you can visit, meet other bipolars and network for a good physician. Look
for one who specializes in bipolar disorder or mood disorders.
What kinds of questions and information should I present to my physician?
Most importantly, be honest about everything to your physician. The more information
they have, the better they can help you. Don't withhold information because
you are ashamed.
I am not insured, can I qualify for free or low-cost medications?
Talk to your physician. Many of the major drug companies have special programs
in place to offer low- to no-cost medications for people who qualify. Also,
there may be state programs to help defray your medical costs.
Advocacy and Helpful
BPD Links
Clinical Research
Abstracts
The Church
Easton KL, Andrews JC. The Roles of the Pastor in the Interdisciplinary Rehabilitation
Team. Rehabil Nurs 2000;25:10-2.
Blank MB, Mahmood M, Fox JC, et al. Alternative Mental Health Services: The
Role of the Black Church in the South. Am J Public Health 2002;92:1668-72.
Omega-3 Fatty
Acids
The following links discuss emerging clinical evidence on the positive effects
of omega-3 fatty acids in in bipolar patients. Note that that these acids
are not considered for medication replacement therapy and should only be considered
for adjunctive therapy. Consult your doctor before initiating any adjunctive
therapy.
Depression,
Bipolar Disorder and Omega 3.
Emerging
options in the treatment of bipolar disorders.
Inhibitory
effects of omega-3 fatty acids on protein kinase C activity in vitro.
Omega-3
fatty acids in psychiatry: a review.
Omega-3
fatty acids and bipolar disorder: a review.
Omega-3
fatty acids in bipolar disorder: a preliminary double-blind, placebo-controlled
trial.
