~Main
~Cast
~Me
Part 18-
I somehow couldn’t find the guys. Not Agnes, not Mark, not Nathalia, and definitely not Kito. Although why I was thinking about that guy was beyond me. If he didn’t see me like this, it would be just that small weight off my shoulders. Yes, I was uncomfortable, and embarrassed, and I couldn’t sit anywhere for ten minutes without some half drunk guy approaching me with a sleazy grin and wanting to buy me a drink. I can’t believe I was getting so many advances as a girl. No one ever approached me when I was a guy. How fucking logical is that? Grrr. I can’t believe that men are such sluts. There are no better words to describe them. And no, I am not talking about myself here, but about every one else. I mean, they would shag anyone with boobs and two feet. That’s just disgusting. I roll my eyes. I’m freaking myself out here. This skirt is making me think strange things. And it’s riding up my ass. And I can’t sit in it because every time I do, I can feel eyes on me. And no, I have not mastered the art of sitting crossed legged, so leave me alone, while I go stand in the corner. Grrr. This is getting worst and worst as the minutes tick away. I feel as if I am getting fucking visually rapped here! I swear, if I come out of this alive, I’ll never look at a woman this way. Wait. I never do anyway. Yes I do! No, I don’t. Fuck! I’m insane. Yes, you are.
I was beginning to wonder why I had come after all. I mean, seriously. What was I, a quiet and unsocial guy, doing at a work Halloween costume party? If it was someone else, I would shake my head and roll my eyes. But since it’s me… I did it anyway. It was very dark and loud, and I had trouble recognizing people, even after trying to spot anyone I could have known for an hour without success, as most were only black shapes against the occasional burst of light from the dance floor. As I looked at the bodies writhing and coiling against each other, I had to suppress a smile. As stupid and uncomfortable as I felt –and slutty I would have to add-, only to see some of the silly costumes had almost been worth coming. Almost, but not quite. I simply did not belong in such social environments. Then what was I doing here? I had not one damn clue.
One good thing out of this whole party was that everyone got either pretty drunk or uninterested in anyone else rather quickly, and I could finally go find myself a nice couch to sit on without having to embarrass myself by showing the whole world my assets. Jeez, I was wearing briefs, but still. You know what I mean. And it was dark to boot, so I don’t think anyone could see anything. Thank god. But I was getting thirsty again –the bareman finally must have concluded that I was of legal age because he let my buy stuff on my own. Or perhaps he had taken pity of me. Who knows. Not that I care as long as I got something to drink with alcohol in it. So I got up from the couch I’ve claimed for myself for the past half-hour and slowly made my way to the bar, navigating in between people with a vast range of sobriety. From the fully drunk, almost past out in the darkest corners, to the fully sober, dancing the night away, shoes cast off, and bodies glistening with sweat. It was strange how utterly different those people seemed from their normal self. It seemed a different, dark, underground world, full of loud bases that reverberated dully in my chest. At least there was still some beer left, which in itself was surprising. And no one had slapped my butt. Thank god. Or that someone would have found himself passing through a wall. I picked up a cold bottle and with a sigh headed back to “my” couch. Except that now, it was occupied by a couple too busy with each other to care about the rest of the world. I sighed again, swiped my forehead with the bottle and walked toward the door with all the intention of finally heading out. It was almost eleven, so I could leave without any guilt.
That’s when I saw him.
I didn’t understand what I was seeing at first. He was just another shape among the dozens of others. But something about him was strangely and achingly familiar. He was dressed all in black –tight leather pants, and tight tank top- and his hair was let free to fall on his back but for two tendrils on each side of his face that were brought to the back, and clasped together with a silver clip. His back. As fascinating as his copper hair was in the ever-changing low light, I couldn’t stop looking at his back. And then my lungs took one large breath and stopped working, while my heart skipped too many beats for its well being. All I could do was stare at what I now realized were wings. Huge, beautiful, pearly white wings.
So it was true. It really was him.
And he was breathtakingly beautiful.
On the heels of those thoughts came another. What the fuck was he doing? Was he fucking crazy? No, said a somber voice in my head. He was drunk.
Oh god.
What if someone saw him? What if someone realized those wings were real? That’s it. He was drunk and crazy!
I wouldn’t have approached him otherwise –heck, I was now happy that I had some beer sloshing in my stomach- but this was a dangerous situation. And he was, hopefully, too drunk to remember it and me tomorrow morning.
“Nice costume.” Better play it safe.
“ ‘s not.” Not nice, or not a costume? Wasn’t about to ask though. Ah, fuck it. I would anyway. Everybody around us was… otherwise occupied. So I did.
I didn’t expect him to face me and stare, though. With a very serious and un-drunk expression. Oh oh…I think I greatly misjudged his sobriety. Yay, go me. He was still staring, 30 seconds later, and I was getting very uncomfortable. Not to mention that the guy wasn’t taller than my chest… and I couldn’t distinguish his eye color in the dark. It pissed me off more than I wanted to acknowledge to myself. And then his lips tugged into a one sided smirk, and my blood boiled. Grrr. How dare he! I was trying to help his sorry ass, and here he was, smirking at me! Did he even know who I was? Did he recognize me? I really wanted to know. I needed to know, for my sanity. It couldn’t go any better. But it did! I’m not joking.
I don’t know whether to be happy that at last he was out of the public’s eye, or whether to be afraid of what he had in mind when he slowly backed me out of the room onto the balcony. It was –thank god- empty, and cold, a relief from the hazy soup back near the dance floor. I desperately needed that cold to cool the flush I could feel on my cheeks. And then I felt ice cold metal touch the heated flesh on my exposed back, and I panicked, just as his smirk bloomed into a full, mischievous grin. He had me cornered, backed against two sides of the balcony railing, twenty-five stories up. His wings came up, shielding me from view of anyone who might come outside for a breath of air. He batted them slightly, sending one or two iridescent feathers fluttering out into the night. Did he know I know? Or was he just playing with me? Cause he sure was succeeding in capturing my attention.
He was watching me. Even though he was against the light, and bursts of spotlights flashed at my eyes every few moments, I knew he was watching me. My heart was beating so loud I thought it would claw its way up my throat, while my hands clutched fitfully at whatever they could find: the railing. I don’t know how long we stood there. I wasn’t cold despite my lack of proper clothing though; my body was too busy flushing a bright crimson. Finally, he inclined his head to the side and softly said “your eyes are so blue. I like then,” without the slightest hint of alcohol induced slur.
That’s it. He is crazy, if not drunk!... Wait, what did he just say? Hee hee. Nope. Either it’s way too cold and my brain cells are freezing… or my blood has ran out of my brain to… somewhere else. I’m hallucinating. There is no way he could have just passed his pink tongue over his very pink lips, and then winked. I swear, I am not drinking one more drop of alcohol in my life. On the other hand, perhaps I should have imbued even more, eh? Fuck. At that moment, I meant it in both contexts. Blame my horny teenage hormones that only now decided to kick in. Thank god it was dark, because my skirt was becoming painfully tight.
Stop it! What are you thinking! Well, hey, I was supposed to keep his wings out of sight, and it was actually working, no? A little too well. No. Don’t think about it. Do. Not. Think. About. It! You’re on a mission here! All he is seeing is someone in a skirt. He’s drunk, and crazy. He doesn’t realize it’s you. He just wants someone to fuck for the night. As I was giving myself those oh-so-comforting reasons for his actions, I couldn’t help but feel hurt. He didn’t want me. He didn’t know it was me. Why the fuck would I be hurt by that? He is a guy. So am I. He is toying with me because he think I’m a naïve little girl. Suddenly, I was very angry. I would give him a piece of my mind, the asshole.
I cleared my throat, opened my mouth… and froze. What could I say? ‘hey, listen, fold up your wings dude or someone will learn something they really shouldn’t.’ ? Err, no. I don’t think so. Damn it. I couldn’t think. What are you doing to me!? This is not happening!
He stepped even closer, and I could feel his stomach touching mine whenever our breaths synchronized to raise our lungs at the same time. Gahhh!!! Look at how short he is. You’re way bigger than him. And stronger. So do something. Do something!!!
He did.
His hands snaked behind my back, sending wild shivers cursing through my entire body when his cool hands met the strip of exposed flesh between my skirt and the shirt. His head ever so slowly neared mine, until his nose was a hair away from my own, and I could only stare at him with eyes gone wide with shock, all thoughts gone.
“Nataniel,” his warm breath ghosted near my ear, and I almost lost it. He knew. Oh my god. He fucking knew it was me. And he wasn’t stopping… whatever the hell it was he was doing.
Finally, his lips brushed against mine… and I stopped breathing.
~*~*~