New and Original Limericks from Various Freepers

Welcome to the freeper Canteen
We support our troops seen and unseen
No Left wingnut ravers admitted
We think they should be committed
Particularly the likes of Howard Dean

 

To all of our troops home and abroad
To you I shout praises and laud
For in the face of Terror's bloodbath
You strike back with America's wrath
For truly you do the impossible job

 

Our W’s a man of great class
Who gives most of his hecklers a pass
So it’s quite a surprise
when in front of their eyes
he hauls out a large can of Whoop-ass!

 

When a lady we know starts to speak
my head pounds and I want to shriek.
She spreads lies and dismay
day after day.
It's silence from Hillary I seek.

 

Er, Uh Judge Ally ota
I uh er care not one iota
How qualified you are
For I must get to a bar
To fill my daily booze quota.

 

Ted Kennedy grilled Judge Ali oto
And said to the supreme court he should not go
Judge Alito never flinched
Even as Ted continued to pinch
Now the world see's that Ted is a Schmoe

 

The Dems say our troops in Iraq
are 'tween a hard place and a rock.
But who's more to blame
Than Valerie Plame
The Democrats, and Jacques Chirac?

 

Some think Hillary's really so kind
But look closer and here's what you'll find
If you're wanting to know
Just how low she will go
Two steps up is a rodent's behind

 

That Paula, he thought, was some filly
When pants dropped she thought he quite silly
But then later she'd file
And he soon lost his smile
He shouldn't have whipped out ol' Willy

 

We all know that Bill Clinton is slick
He is more than some Arkansas hick
In the whole universe
There are few more perverse
And they called the wrong guy Tricky Dick

 

A crusty ol' gal name of Hillary
has a voice that's increasingly shrillery
"Got some dough?" she once said
"We'll just take it instead."
"And deposit it all in our Tillery."

 

A suit by the ACLU
wants to keep Bush from syping on you
But that ol' NSA
keeps Al Qaeda at bay
so I wish they'd just STFU!

 

Osama! It's Allah, you schmuck!
I'm afraid you have run out of luck.
Now stand up tall and proud
And look up at that cloud,
And whatever comes down, please don't duck!

 

A terrorist chap named Bin Laden
Wore robes of the best Egypt cotton.
The towers that fell
Should remind him of hell
Where he'll soon be for being so rotten.

 

There once was a group: Taliban.
Of Bin Laden, each one was a fan.
Here's a product for you:
Sun block 242.
Go prepare for your nuclear tan.

 

There once was a man named Osama
Who spent too much time with his mama.
You won't see him strut
With that cruise up his butt
From our dear old B-52 bomb-ah.

 

There once was a prez named Bill
He still thinks he has a legacy to fufill
He made the military a mess
Left a stain on a dress
And the sum of his presidency was nil

 

To all of our troops home and abroad
To you I shout praises and laud
For in the face of Terror's bloodbath
You strike back with America's wrath
For truly you do the impossible job

 

Here is to our Heroic Troops
I can think no more Glorious groups
Army, Airforce,Navy and Marines
They have the will and the means
To stop Al Queda, The miserable poops!

 

We know Clinton has been at it still
Seems he never is getting his fill
Yes, the rumors are true
His wife likes girls, too
She gets more you know what than does Bill

 

There was a President of Iran
Whose whackiness no one could stand
"The Holocaust's a sham!"
He said as a slam
So Mossad gave him a nuclear tan.

 

The website Dem Underground
By stupidity, surely, it's bound
Its standards are lax
It disregards facts
Thank GOD! Free Republic's around!

 

At the halt of the bodily motor
of a staunch GOP promoter
It’s a doubly sad day,
As we mourn him he may
join the rolls of the DemocRAT voter.

 

There once was a man from Hope
Who swears he never smoked dope
A blue dress he did stain
Not his wife's, what a shame
Sadly all of this isn't a joke

 

A senator talked of "plantation"
Leading us to cry, "Why in tarnation?"
Would a liberal like she
Issue such a decree
When the concept is their occupation?

 

Brokeback Mountain, in winter, is breezy
The gay cowboys do things that are sleazy
That the cowboys are gay
One group thinks is okay
The sheep in Wyoming sleep easy