So… Do you know of a friend or coworker that needs some help? Some help in the deodorant isle that is. Some people just have this “funk” that just makes my eyes water. I understand that there are people out there allergic to different types of pigments, lye, petroleum jelly, fats, and other such ingredients that go into soaps, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t something that can be done. I used to break out when I used certain soaps, but you know what I did? I went out and bought more until I found one that I didn’t break out with. This is the new millennium for Christ sakes! Go online and find a dermatologist, or a catalog, or even a recipe to make your own! (Included below) In that movie Fight Club there were guys that made soap out of liposuctioned fat. Remember, they sold it to department stores – back to wash the asses that it came from. I mean really, there is a whole isle at Target that is dedicated to such stench problems. Rows and rows of soap, deodorant, perfume, after-shave, even solutions for the stronger stench. Such as Clorox bleach, Pine-Sol, car trees, and even Fabreeze. So why then with all of the resources that are out there, do these people still stink so dreadfully? And what are we, the non-stinky public to do about it? The commercial on TV says that Old Spice guarantees you will like the results from their products, or they will buy you a stick of your own brand, but Jesus man you have to get a brand! For the love of all that is holy, take a bath! Do these people not understand that their odor is eye watering-ly foul?  Can they not smell the stench when in a closed area by themselves? And what about their significant others? I know that I am not the only one to notice. One story that I heard was when a woman went into a store to make a purchase, one of these reeking people was at the counter to help her (we will call him “Mr. Stank”). The temperature gauge read about 85 outside, and he had worked up quite the stench by mid-morning. Well, this woman paid for her purchase and asked for directions. Mr. Stank, in his  tank top pointed to indicate which way to go, and she said that the last thing she remembered before hitting the floor was his moist harry armpit coming into view while his arm reached out. Now do you think that Mr. Stank will ever realize that he had scarred this poor woman for life, and that she had to go home and take three hot showers out of fear that she would smell like Mr. Stank – just from the in-room contact? Doubtful, but the question remains… What is a person to do in such a situation? Do you call in to the manager and complain? Do you slip a bar of soap into his coat pocket and pray for the best? Maybe a dirty letter (No pun intended) on the windshield? Plaster his house and or car with bumper stickers with the following slogan, “Just because you can live with the stank, does not mean that others can.” I have included below a soap recipe for an example of online resources. You know it only takes four things to pull away from the stank-dankness…  1.) Soap   2.) Water   3.) Good old fashion will power 4.)Some elbow grease (for you really stanky folks).

Come on down to lather land, it’s nice to visit, but a better place to live.

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