A New Era of Civil Rights – For Men

Clint Eastwood’s movie ‘Heartbreak Ridge’ about an old Marine in a new era has one disturbing, yet accurate, scene that highlights the dilemma faced by men today. When his ex-wife without provocation slaps him strongly across the face Eastwood reacts with the stoic calmness and understanding that was once the norm for an average man. In the current anti-male, anti-father hysteria pervading society, however, such a reaction would be more of self-interest than of understanding.

Under domestic violence laws and, in particular the sexist, $7.5 billion Violence Against Women’s Act (VAWA) now up for refunding by the US Congress, all men are in danger of losing not only their marriage but their children, their home and their livelihood should they react in any manner to partner violence used against them. Why? Because just the charge of domestic violence, a claim which can include such spurious accusations as ‘minor insults and refusing to help with child care or housework’. ensures that a man is instantly booted out of the family home. The premise of the law is that in a ‘patriarchal society’ the goal of men is to ‘subjugate’ women. Each year some 50,000 restraining orders are issued in Massachusetts (compared with a state of comparable population, Virginia, which issues about 2500 orders annually). Even when living with a girlfriend in their own home, men have been forced out of their houses and apartments under the current domestic violence laws.

It is an open secret that restraining orders are routinely used against men as first-strike weapons in divorces to ensure that a woman gains custody of the children and the marital home. It is a club too useful to ignore. Under the current no-fault divorce system (the only legal contract which one side can unilaterally break at will and still receive half or more of the proceeds) some 85% of divorces are initiated by women.

In Boston, with some 65% of the Boston public school children in one-family homes this anti-family, anti-father bias is reaping the whirlwind. And in Boston the victims are mainly black men. It is hard enough for two-parent families to raise children but for single-parents of either sex it is a near impossible task to support the family and properly care for the kids. The result? Children are left to the care of a bloated school system which fails miserably at teaching not only the ABCs but also positive social skills to the majority of kids. Forget MCAS, what kids need first and foremost is a positive family environment so that they can do well not only in school but also in life.

Several potential solutions are on the horizon. For starters, the VAWA should not be refunded or, if refunded, should be redrafted to ensure it is gender neutral and no longer used as a weapon to destroy traditional families. Also, the Massachusetts Legislature should approve the bill I filed on behalf of The Fatherhood Coalition (http://www.fatherhoodcoalition.org/) to eliminate false accusations in restraining orders. Finally, the Massachusetts Department of Revenue is holding hearings on child support guidelines for divorced families. Current guidelines which encourage a woman to boot dads out of the home and collect a check should be tossed in the waste basket and revised from the bottom up. The Boston hearing is scheduled for Wednesday, September 28 at the Suffolk County Courthouse (Pemberton Square Highrise ), Jury Assembly Room, 2nd Floor at 4 pm. It is the interests of both parents and children to demand an overhaul of the child support system which will encourage families to remain intact.

The City of Boston is not an innocent bystander in this downward spiral to social disintegration. Not only does the City not provide leadership to address the problems but it routinely uses funding such as VAWA for programs in the Departments of Public Health, Police and Housing which encourage family breakup through gender-biased laws which discriminate against fathers and men.

In a recent Washington D.C. ad directed at Congress’ reconsideration of VAWA funding the American Coalition for Fathers and Children said the VAWA was used to “…underwrite the breakup of homes, promote restraining order abuses, remove loving parents from the lives of their children and criminalize innocent citizens.” Boston’s city government through the Mayor and the Council should help turn the tide on this national tragedy and actively promote, not destroy, traditional families.

Joe Ureneck is a candidate for Boston City Councilor-at-Large (Web: www.joe-ureneck.com) and a Chinese language translator and interpreter.