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Iago: Zazu, something has to be done about the flying elephant traffic in Fantasyland. It just took me a half hour to fly from Scuttle's Landing to the Tiki Room. Are there really more of them out there now, or am I just imagining things again?
Zazu: You're asking about flying elephants, and you wonder if you're imagining things?
Iago: Oh sure, I suppose you've never had too much to drink!
Zazu: I do tend to imbibe moderately, but you're right about there being airborne pachyderms in Fantasyland. I hate flying past them. I always feel like they're going to run me right off my flight pattern. They're very intimidating, and they can't seem to fly in a straight line, either. Perhaps they are the ones who have been drinking to excess.
Iago: Hehehe. Well, I've done my share of drinking and flying, but I don't do too much damage when I run into things. But a flock of elephants ... Sheesh!
Zazu: You know, you are correct about the increase in air traffic. While the Magic Kingdom began with but ten tuskers, the 1994 rehab increased the herd to sixteen.
Iago: Oh good! I was afraid I was seeing double. Which would actually make sense since my last drink was....
Zazu: <ahem> Indeed, the reconstruction of the MK Dumbo in 1994 was far more than that -- it was in fact a complete replacement. Obviously, the mechanism had to be replaced to go from 10 to 16 fliers, but this also entailed a replacement of the landing platform, which now has a larger diameter. The imagineers also decided to gussie up the steeds a bit, and added jaunty hats and ruffled collars at the same time.
Iago: Yeah, reminds me of Mardi Gras. Any way we can ship them all back to New Orleans?
Zazu: While they'd probably fit right in at the French Quarter, I really don't think there is much we can do about it. Have you seen the lines over there? I wish the Tiki Room could attract such crowds.
Iago: At least they finally built an awning over the queue there last spring. It used to be a dry cleaner's paradise!
Zazu: Er, yes I suppose so. I understand that there are also Dumbos in Europe and Asia now, not to mention the Southern California branch of the family. And those elephants, being Hollywood types, got a major makeup job.
Iago: Makeup? Aw come on, you're making this up, right?
Zazu: Not at all. The original Dumbo attraction at Disneyland was at first slated to have pink elephants, and was based on the "Pink Elephants on Parade" segment of the film, not its triumphant finale. It's reported that Walt took one look at it, asked, "What the %@$# is with the pink Dumbos?" and the paint crews were on it the very next morning.
Iago: But do they still have those big ears?
Zazu: Absolutely.
Iago: Wow. With all those plastic surgeons in California doing nips and tucks, you'd think they'd get that taken care of.
Zazu: That's how they fly, you twit! Without those ears, they'd be lumbering around on terra firma, where they belong.
Iago: So they've got a Sally Field / Sister Bertrille kinda thing goin' on?
Zazu: I guess you could say that.
Iago: Thank you, Reverend Mother.
Zazu: Talking to you is one annoying habit I must rid myself of, Iago. And you are a novice when it comes to understanding flying elephants.
Iago: Well, I wasn't hatched by Horton, ya know! And neither were you, for that matter. What makes you such an expert?
Zazu: Have you forgotten that I was born and bred in the shadow of Pride Rock? I know elephants.
Iago: And have you forgotten that my friend Abu was an elephant for awhile? Come to think of it, he wore a silly little hat, too. Just like Dumbo. Why do elephants like to wear silly hats?
Zazu: I don't know, but perhaps you should research this for us, Iago. Why don't you run away to the circus and interview some elephants? Is that a train whistle I hear?
Iago: Oooh, undercover work. I like that. What kind of disguise should I wear?
Zazu: You're already a clown. You won't need a disguise.
Iago: Be nice to me, or I'll deposit an "Operation Dumbo Drop" on your pointy little egghead.
Zazu: Now see here, I'm just suggesting you go find out what the elephants do to make themselves more popular so we can try it at the Enchanted Tiki Room.
Iago: Zazu, maybe if we wore silly little hats and ruffled collars, everybody would love us, too.
Zazu: Good idea. You try it first and let me know how it turns out.
Iago: Will do. I'm off to join the circus!
Zazu: Farewell! ... you Bozo.
The music chosen to accompany this page is "Revolution" by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.