Attraction of the Week:
The Enchanted Tiki Room,
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The Enchanted Tiki Room,
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Zazu: Good morning friends... I say, good morning! Oh dear Iago, I don't think this microphone is working.
Iago: <screaming> QUIET!!!!! Zazu: Please, let's not discuss bird control at this hour. Iago: Yeah, and to all our friends from Canada, "Good Morning, eh?"
Zazu: To Fritz, and all our German friends <doing a Thurl Ravenscroft impersonation> "Guten Morgen!"
Iago: To Michael, and all our Irish friends, "Wake up O'Rourke, the bars are open again!"
Zazu: <glares at Iago> To José, and all our Spanish friends, "Buenos Dias!"
Iago: To Pierre, and all our French friends ... especially the ladies ... "Bon Jour!"
Zazu: And to all our very special Japanese friends, especially those at the Tokyo Disneyland Tiki Room....
<Iago hands Zazu his Beaky Boy mask>
Zazu: Must I?
Iago: If I gotta, you gotta!
Zazu: Oh, very well.
<Zazu and Iago both don plastic beaks, Iago puts on sunglasses, and Zazu dons a cap that says "Team Choo-Choo">
Iago: You need to turn your cap around backwards.
Zazu: I've seen how the young people wear their caps nowadays -- this is backwards.
<Iago & Zazu recite a Rap welcome:> <Iago & Zazu give each other a high-five, er, high-four, er, high-whatever. The Disney escorts pass out and the audience runs screaming for the emergency exits.>
Zazu: Very well, now that we have that over with, I can begin my lecture on the history of Audio-Animatronics. It all began back in 1949 when Walt...
Iago: <stage whisper> Psst! Ixnay on the ecturelay!
Zazu: What's the matter now, Iago?
Iago: I don't think this is a good time for a lecture.
Zazu: But it's always time for a...
Iago: I think it's time for a song.
Zazu: Another song? Iago, I think we've done enough damage to our reputations already this morning.
Iago: But this song will help, it's a Sherman Brothers song!
Zazu: Sherman Brothers? You can't be seriously suggesting we sing "It's a Small World After All"!
Iago: Ya know, for a guy with a wooden personality, you're not the sharpest pencil in the box! Of course I'm not suggesting that! I was thinking of a song from "Mary Poppins."
Zazu: What song from "Mary Poppins" could possibly be appropriate here?
Iago: "Feed the Birds"!
Zazu: Ah, good point. <turning back to audience> As my associate so correctly points out, it's time for breakfast! Please follow us to the buffet. No pushing and shoving now, there's enough for all.
Iago: Yeah, and drink lots of coffee. It's harder to aim when your hands are shaking. <After breakfast...>
Zazu: Iago, I have a joke for you.
Iago: Is it a dirty joke?
Zazu: No, of course not! You know me better than that.
Iago: Then I don't wanna hear it.
Zazu: Ah, but it's a joke most germane.
Iago: But I don't understand German.
Zazu: It's not ... oh nevermind. It's a joke that relates to our Attraction of the Year.
Iago: Oh, like that's all different then!
Zazu: Yes indeed it is. Let's see if I can do this right, "Knock, knock!"
Iago: A knock-knock joke? Okay sure, let me just humor you while I dial 9-1-1. "Who's there?"
Zazu: "Canoe."
Iago: "Canoe who?"
Zazu: "Canoe think of a good reason not to enjoy Iago and Zazu's Attraction of the Year right now?"
Iago: What, you wanna list?
Zazu: Now that you've had your gastronomical appetites appeased by the breakfast...
Iago: And your stomachs upset by that bad joke...
Zazu: Those of you who care to have your intellectual appetites whetted as well are invited to please join me for a discussion of Iago and Zazu's "Attraction of the Year."
Iago: Yeah, and those of you don't care to have your pants wetted after all that coffee and juice, feel free to join me in the restrooms. Right this way.
Zazu: Get back here, Iago. We need to take care of our Tiki-Weekly duty before you take care of your Tiki-Leaky duty.
Iago: Who said anything about doody? I'm just trying to take care of Number One.
Zazu: Precisely! And our choice for the Number One "Attraction of the Year" is ... The Enchanted Tiki Rooms!
Iago: Oh, big surprise there! I think I'll have a heart attack and die from the shock!
Zazu: If you have a heart attack, it will be from all that Tonga toast and pork you just ate.
Iago: Can I help it if I eat like a bird?
Zazu: You mean, six times your body weight per day?
Iago: Hey, I'm not the only one! I saw these people <pointing to the audience> stuffing their faces, too, in a desperate attempt to get their money's worth outta this event. I'm sure they're all feeling just as bloated as me.
Zazu: Exactly. They're too full to get up and walk out in the middle of my lecture.
Iago: You mean like the tourists used to get up and walk out in the middle of that lame Enchanted Tiki Room show before I came along?
Zazu: I beg your pardon. When it opened, the original Tiki Birds show was so special that it went beyond an E ticket.
Iago: I'll say. It went all the way to a Z ticket. <snores loudly>
Zazu: Wake up, Sleeping Birdy! It was not a Z ticket. It was a special, separate ticket for the outrageous price of 75¢. You see, the attraction was originally owned by WED Enterprises, not Disneyland, and it took United Airways' sponsorship the following year for the park to be able to buy the attraction. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Just exactly how much do you know about the original show?
Iago: I know that I wasn't in it!
Zazu: Well, there's something in its favor right there. I think it's time we discussed ... <evil grin> THE DETAILS.
<loud screams are heard>
Iago: <horrified> Oh no, not the details! Anything but the details!
Zazu: <fiendishly> Not only are we going to discuss details; we're also going to discuss de beaks, de wings, and de claws. Muwahahaha!
Iago: You're worse than my Aunt Polly with all those parts.
Zazu: <ahem> The history of the Enchanted Tiki Rooms is also a wonderful way to talk about the entire history of Audio-Animatronics.
Iago: Is this going to be like one of those James Michener novels that starts with the birth of the dinosaurs?
Zazu: Actually, the dinosaurs didn't come along until later. The story begins -- appropriately enough, considering where we are -- with a Chinese restaurant.
Iago: What are you squawkin' about? I know China's been around a long time, but before the dinosaurs?!?
Zazu: Yes, indeed. In fact, Chairman Mao's revolution that created the People's Republic of China occurred in 1949 -- the very same year Walt contacted a patent attorney about a patent for synchronizing the motion of three-dimensional figures with sound. This was regarding the celebrated "Dancing Man" display.
Iago: Walt started with a dancing man instead of a dancing girl? Sheesh! You'd think this guy was from another century.
Zazu: Give it a month, he will be. But as I was saying, the original plan for what became Disneyland's Tiki Room was a Chinese restaurant with a show.
Iago: Ooh, I love that idea! <singing & grooving> Everybody wang chung tonight!
Zazu: No, Iago, it wasn't that kind of a show. The entertainment was going to be an animatronic Confucius who would offer up ancient insight, prophetic wisdom, and the occasional bon mot to the diners.
Iago: Bon mot?! That sounds tasty. Is it anything like dim sum?
Zazu: No, it's nothing like dim sum, you dimwit. "Bon mot" is French for "good word," and means a short but clever saying.
Iago: You mean this Confucius guy was just gonna be a big, expensive fortune cookie dispenser?
Zazu: Well, in a way, but he was much more complicated than that. While he would be animatronic, he was intended to interact with guests through the assistance of an emcee who would introduce questions from the "audience."
Iago: Wow! How could they program it to answer? I mean, you could count on guests asking what time the 3 o'clock parade was, but there's really no limit to dumb questions.
Zazu: <pause> You can't know how true that is. <sigh> Of course, Disney was never one to leave such things to chance, the "questions" would be pre-recorded, much like the "complaints" heard in Alien Encounter. This way, there would always be an appropriate answer. Wally Boag, of Golden Horseshoe Revue fame, wrote a script for the entire show.
Iago: Ooh, was the Chinaman gonna spit out beans too? Or maybe just bean curd?
Zazu: No, but there was one particular line, spoken by a fire-breathing dragon, with a similar level of political incorrectness, "Hope no one in audience minds if dragon smokes?"
Iago: Isn't that an old "Addams Family" joke?
Zazu: Could be worse.
Iago: How?
Zazu: Could have been an old "Rocky Horror Picture Show" joke.
Iago: Good point!
Zazu: At any rate, the plan was for the guests to dine, the head to talk, and everyone could get their fill of both moo goo gai pan and bad jokes all at the same time.
Iago: Sounds good, but they shouldn't've made it a Chinese restaurant then.
Zazu: Why not?
Iago: 'Cause one hour later, the head would be hungry for more questions. <snort!>
Zazu: Actually, that would be very appropriate, since Confucius was a highly revered philosopher and teacher with an enormous intellectual appetite. Be that as it may, this animatronic construct was a nightmarish concoction of levers, pullies and cams; plus a rubber face that persisted in tearing after nearly every show.
Iago: Oy! What sort of skin treatment does it take to fix that? Oil of Olay or 10W-40!
Zazu: As it turned out, the whole Confucius idea was oil washed up. Despite having built the head, and many experiments with actuators and skin, Confucius never reached show quality. And by 1960, problems with the mechanical animation technology had sent Confucius on to Neverland.
Iago: So Walt saw Confucius flying toward Neverland, and that gave him the idea to use birds?
Zazu: No, not exactly.
Iago: Oh. Must've been the eggrolls then.
Zazu: No.
Iago: Was it the eggdrop soup?
Zazu: No!
Iago: The egg foo young?
Zazu: No!
Iago: The bird's nest soup?
Zazu: NO!!! It was Walt's discovery of a toy mechanical bird in a New Orleans junk shop that provided the inspiration for an entirely new restaurant design, in which birds would provide the main attraction.
Iago: Hey, Aunt Polly had the same idea.
Zazu: Yes, except that the birds aren't very animated at her place.
Iago: That's for sure. I've never seen a bigger bunch of stiffs in my life.
Zazu: Luckily for us, the food idea was dropped from the Tiki Room show completely.
Iago: How come?
Zazu: Practicality, for one thing. Diners might not vacate their seats in a timely fashion if they were too interested in the entertainment. The other reason was simple human nature: who would want their food served directly beneath birds?
Iago: Apparently, these guys would. <gesturing toward the audience>
Zazu: Well, yes, but they're Disney zealots, so that really doesn't count.
Iago: Speaking of counting, how many birds are in the original version of the show? Zazu: Let's see ... the four hosts are Fritz (voiced by Thurl Ravenscroft), Michael (voiced by Fulton Burley, of Golden Horseshoe fame), Pierre and José (both voiced by the inimitable Wally Boag, though Jerry Orbach has been filling in for Pierre lately). They are joined by 12 toucans, 9 fork-tail birds, 8 macaws, 7 bird-of-paradise birds, 6 sulfur crested --
Iago: <sings> ... Four calling birds, three French Hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree!
Zazu: Iago, there are neither partridges nor pear trees in Polynesia! However, there are 64 bird-of-paradise flowers, 54 orchids, 24 singing masks, 12 tiki drummers, 4 tiki poles, and several other performers for a total of 225 Audio-Animatronics. And the Tiki Room characters represented the first official use of that term, despite the fact that it was previously used to describe the figures in Nature's Wonderland on the Mine Train. In fairness, the Tiki Room technology was markedly different and quite improved.
Iago: Now you're talkin'! New and improved. That's what I like.
Zazu: The key to success with Audio-Animatronics was the use of a 14-channel tape recording of tones, each triggering a different motion through pneumatic actuators. By synchronizing the playback, the music, voices, and motions could be perfectly coordinated. Voila! They were in sync.
Iago: <shocked> No kiddin'! I shoulda known. I always suspected The Osmonds were animatronic, but I had no idea about 'N Sync.
Zazu: No, no, no. I'm referring to the Tiki Birds' movements and voices being in sync with the music. The other 'N Sync is just moronic, not animatronic. Do you even know what the term Audio-Animatronic means?
Iago: Sure I do! It comes from a bad review of the soundtrack CD from a Japanese animated film that was a remake of the Disney movie "Tron." The reviewer wrote, "Audio Animé Tron: ICK!"
Zazu: <pause> You know Iago, sometimes I just don't know how you do it.
Iago: <shrugs> It's a gift!
Zazu: How seasonal. <rolls eyes> Getting back to the Tiki Rooms, the Disneyland version opened on 23 June 1963, which makes it the longest-running Audio-Animatronics show in history.
Iago: That's funny. That's exactly what all the tourists said when they walked out in the middle of it.
Zazu: Probably the same ones who enjoy 'N Sync. <Ahem!> The original show lasted 17 minutes, and was positively action-packed.
Iago: Action-packed?!
Zazu: Yes indeed. There were 438 actions, to be precise, including the "Birdmobile" descending from the ceiling.
Iago: Ooh, is that the car that Batman bought for Robin? I didn't know the original Tiki Room was a stunt show.
Zazu: Iago, the "Birdmobile" is the spinning perch that descends from the ceiling, laden with beautiful female cockatiels.
Iago: Oh yeah, the Busby Birdly Chick-O-Rama. It's like Las Vegas showgirls with feathers.
Zazu: Actually, Iago, those aren't really feathers on those downy breasts.
Iago: What?! Next thing, you'll be telling me that Ariel doesn't really wear sea shells.
Zazu: I've done some cross-U in Costuming. They're actually D shells. But as for the lovely ladies in the Tiki Room, Yvette, Collette, Mimi, Gigi, Suzette, and Fifi are all sweater girls. You see, Harriet Burns was responsible for the birds' appearance, and she found that feathers were surprisingly not an effective material for covering their ... assets. She was finally inspired by watching the way an old fuzzy sweater stretched over Walt's elbow, and Disney birds have been part sheep ever since. So, you see, Iago, EWE's not fat; EWE's fluffy.
Iago: Stop with the BAAAAAD puns, or I'll RAM you.
Zazu: Yes, you're right. I don't want the audience to LAMBaste me.
Iago: Shhhhh! Don't say the word "baste." You don't want to give them any ideas.
Zazu: You're right. We don't want the crowd to turn ugly.
Iago: <looks at the audience> Too late!
Zazu: Oh dear. Let's get back to discussing the special effects action in the original show, before they use us for target practice. One of my favorites was the magical fountain that rose up until it almost touched the "birdmobile," then sank again as the ladies descended.
Iago: Hey, I've also got something that rises up when the ladies go down!
Zazu: IAGO!!!
Iago: Oh relax! I'm sure you've already put the youngsters to sleep by now.
Zazu: Let's hope. The fountain was able to perform such a wonderful trick because it was only about a half an inch tall. It appeared much taller because the water was contained in a transparent plastic column. The column was raised by hydraulics so that the height of the fountain could be carefully controlled.
Iago: So, it was only a little tiny fountain, hidden by a much larger plastic sheath?
Zazu: Something sound familiar again?
Iago: NO! Absolutely not!
Zazu: Right. A bit later in the show, just when the Tiki Gods are in mid-frenzy, there was a great crash outside the windows, and rain began to pour down! The thunder and lightning were, of course, produced with sound effects and lighting. The rain was real water, but it fell inside the false walls of the Tiki Room. The effect wasn't terribly complex or difficult, but I still remember my wonder when I left the theater to find the day dry and sunny.
Iago: That crash thing happens to my Windows every time it rains, too. I think I need a new computer.
Zazu: You don't need a new computer, you twit. You need an apartment with a roof!
Iago: That's true. I live in the leaky leaky leaky leaky room.
Zazu: Speaking of which, the songs in the original show included "In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room" by Richard and Robert Sherman; "The Hawaiian War Chant;" "Let's All Sing Like the Birdies Sing;" and "Aloha to You." Unfortunately, the original "Barcarole" was dropped to shorten the show.
Iago: They dropped a recliner on the birds?!
Zazu: No, not a Barcalounger! "Barcarole." It was a song from Jacques Offenbach's opera, "Tales of Hoffman."
Iago: There's an opera about Dustin Hoffman? Why doesn't somebody write an opera about me? I'm short and I've got a big beak, too.
Zazu: <glares> You are maliciously and unrepentantly uninformed, you know.
Iago: Hey, somebody's got to do it, why not me?
Zazu: Why not indeed. <ahem> Did you know that there is another "barker role" at the Tiki Room? A second animatronic version of José the parrot was stationed outside the attraction in Disneyland to help explain to the guests what the show is all about. His ne-er-do-well relative, Barkley, has a similar job outside Pirates of the Caribbean here in Florida. Originally, our "Tropical Serenade" here in Florida had a barker bird. His name was Artemis.
Iago: Isn't he Merlin's owl?
Zazu: No, that's Archimedes.
Iago: Oh, right. I guess he had to retire 'cause of that bad heel.
Zazu: No, that's Achilles!
Iago: Well, don't get mad about it. It's all Greek to me
Zazu: This particular Artemis wasn't Greek! He was a Jamaican toucan. <with a bad Jamaican accent> I tole you mon, we be discussing de beaks, de wings, and de claws.
Iago: <with an even worse Jamaican accent> Oh mon, somebody should nail dis bird's beak to de floor for dat joke.
Zazu: Now, now, Iago, don't be so crabby.
Iago: Speaking of being crabby, William and Morris told me they're tired of standing outside in the Florida heat all day in our preshow. I guess it's cooler at the Disneyland preshow. Why don't they just go back there?
Zazu: Iago, William and Morris (voiced by Don Rickles and Phil Hartman, respectively) were never part of the Disneyland show. There are actual Polynesian gods and goddesses in that preshow. Now, can you tell me the names of the Tiki deities in Disneyland?
Iago: Let's see. There's Krakatoa and Walla-Walla and Ypsilianti and Yo-Yo Ma, and...
Zazu: Those aren't Tiki deities!
Iago: They're not? Well, gee, Regis, I'm stumped. Can we have the audience vote on this one?
Zazu: No, this isn't "Who Wants To be A Millionaire," but I will give you a hint. Two of the names begin with the letter "T," and they sound almost exactly the same.
Iago: Hmmmm, it's right on the tip of my tongue.
Zazu: Yes, well try to swallow those leftover bits of pork and pineapple, and yesterday's taco, and maybe you'll find it under there.
Iago: Oh, I know! The answer is ... Tippecanoe and Tippi Hedron.
Zazu: Iago, first of all, neither one of those are the names of Polynesian deities, and secondly, the last place you would find Tippi Hedron is at a bird show!
Iago: What do you mean? I heard she worked with a whole flock o' birds in 1963, the same year the Tiki Room opened.
Zazu: Yes, that's true. But they became ... overly attached to her, and she swore off birds after that. The correct answer is Tangaroa and Tangaroa-Ru.
Iago: I thought Tanga and Ru were Pooh characters.
Zazu: That's Kanga and Roo!
Iago: Any relation to RuPaul?
Zazu: <rolls eyes> The other Tiki gods are Maui, Koro, Pele, Ngendi, and one you should be most familiar with: Rongo. They introduce themselves in the Enchanted Tiki Garden, and tell legends of the South Seas.
Iago: Well, I'm glad they're not part of our show. I'm sick of hearing about those Tiki-tacky, pineapple-pickin'....
Zazu: Oh, that reminds me! The original Tiki Room in Disneyland has been sponsored by Dole Pineapple since January of 1976. Pineapple was in your breakfasts in their honor. Here in the Magic Kingdom, our "Tropical Serenade" in the "Sunshine Pavilion" opened on 1 October 1971, and was originally sponsored by the Florida Citrus Growers. I'm sure some of our guests still remember the Orange Bird. Actually, there were two orange birds connected with the Tiki Room. One was part of the original preshow here in Florida.
The two made a very odd couple. The orange bird was named Clyde and spoke a rural dialect, and his partner was blue and named Claude and spoke with a British accent. Have you ever heard of anything so silly?
Iago: What a stupid idea! What were they thinking?
Zazu: I can't imagine. The other Orange Bird was the symbol of the Florida Citrus Growers.
Iago: I tried out for that part! But Anita Bryant fainted when she saw me in my Speedo, and that was the end of that.
Zazu: What a pity. The visual connection would have been dramatic. Your lumpy, baggy navel squeezed into orange fishnet ... a lumpy bag of navel oranges in fishnet, ready to be squeezed. Absolutely uncanny.
Iago: Maybe the Speedo would work better in Disneyland Paris. They're used to seeing men in little bathing suits over there.
Zazu: Iago, there is no Tiki Room in Disneyland Paris. You could try Tokyo Disneyland, where the Tiki Room opened with the park on 15 April 1983. They just premiered that new show called "Get the Fever."
Iago: That's perfect! If I perform in my Speedo, all the ladies will get overheated and they'll need to recover with a cool birdbath.
Zazu: Yes, Dr. Horatio Q. Birdbath, to be precise.
Iago: You mean they actually keep a doctor in the Tiki Room during "Get the Fever?" Talk about theming!
Zazu: No, Horatio isn't a real doctor. He's a voice artist who specialized in animal sounds. Besides providing the voices for such famous stars as Lassie and Tarzan's friend Cheetah, he also recorded all the bird sounds heard in the original Tiki Room show.
Iago: All this history is very boring, so when do we get to me?
Zazu: Unfortunately, you've already gotten to me. In 1998, after a year's rehab, the Magic Kingdom's Tropical Serenade reopened with a new show, entitled "The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management."
Iago: Yeah! Starring me!
Zazu: Co-starring my partner and I. Due to some major incompetence on the part of our agents -- which incompetence is still being pursued in court -- we two are the new owners of the show here. The partnership was a bit unstable at first, but things seem to have worked out for the best, thank goddess.
Iago: You mean, "Thank goodness."
Zazu: No, actually I did mean thank goddess. To be specific, Uh-oa, goddess of disaster. No more a mere bubbling fountain, the altar in the middle of the Tiki Room now houses a full grown goddess of impressive proportion...
Iago: Yeah, bad attitude, but great proportions!
Zazu: Impressive proportional motion, I was trying to say. Unlike the birds in the tiki room with their "clicky-clacky" pneumatic actions, or even you and I with our Mark II hydraulic systems, Uh-oa is one of the very newest audio-animatronic figures, variously called a "Mark III" or an "A100" model.
Iago: Model is right! I just wish she weren't modeling that blasting torch. I'm not real fond of her results.
Zazu: Ah, but many people are, Iago -- and not just your business partners. You see, the newest class of audio-animatronics that includes Uh-oa, the Wicked Witch of the West in the Great Movie Ride, and the Timekeeper, were developed as a joint venture between Disney Imagineering and the Prosthetics Department of the University of Utah.
Iago: <incredulous> Utah?!? I knew I was right about the Osmonds!
Zazu: The research resulted in not just better and more convincing audio-animatronic figures, but better artificial legs as well.
Iago: What a coincidence! My Aunt Polly manufactures a line of artificial legs, too.
Zazu: Oh really?
Iago: Where do you think Disney gets those so called "Turkey" legs from?
Zazu: There are some things I'd really rather not think about.
Iago: No? Well here's one you should -- I think we're about out of time.
Zazu: And so we are! Ladies and Gentlemen -- and Iago --
Iago: Hey!
Zazu: -- we are ever so thankful that you chose to join us here today for our first ever "Attraction of the Year" breakfast. I'd also like to thank my associate here for his outstanding... er, competent... er, able... er, not entirely obstructionist assistance in our endeavours.
Iago: No problem, my friend! I hope we keep this partnership going a long time.
Zazu: <looking skyward> Rowan Atkinson and Michael Gough, eat your hearts out!
Iago: Hey! What about my voice talent?
Zazu: Talent? Oh, you mean Gilbert Gottfried. Yes, he should have his liver eaten by crows.
Iago: That's more like it!
Zazu: On that note, ladies and gentlemen, please join me in a visit to a place where a certain angry female will force my partner to eat crow.
Iago: We're goin' to Aunt Polly's??
Zazu: No, Iago. We're going to "The Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New Management"!
Iago: Thanks again, everyone! Bye bye!
Zazu: Iago, you're forgetting your manners again.
Iago: What manners?
Zazu: We have a gift for our guests to serve as a memento of their visit with us.
Iago: Oh sure, that was fine for the live version of this show, but how are we gonna hand out party favors over the Internet?
Zazu: Well, since the gift was an 8×10 glossy portrait of ourselves, perhaps we should just put that image here on the net for them to download.
Iago: Download? Shouldn't they worry about viruses?
Zazu: No, they should worry about burning your image into their monitors. Friends, here is the portrait, and if you click on it you can download a high resolution copy suitable for printing on glossy paper and framing.
Iago: Yeah, that or lining birdcages. The music selected to accompany this page is "Feed the Birds" by Richard Sherman and Robert Sherman from the film "Mary Poppins". Midi file sequenced by Gene Gerety.Iago: We are the Beaky Boys, welcome to our perch;
Zazu: I wish that it were Sunday, and I was still in church.
Iago: Listen to our rap, I am Big Beaky B;
Zazu: And I am 2 Can DJ, as you can plainly see.
Iago: We are in the pre-show, in far off Tokyo;
Zazu: They tried to hire Muppets, but Big Bird wouldn't go.
Iago: We're here to tell the story, of all the Tiki Birds;
Zazu: And since it is so early, we'll try to use small words.
Iago: We hope you like our story, it took us days to write;
Zazu: And with my partner helping, it was only done last night.
Iago: Let's go have some coffee, a banana and a bun;
Zazu: While I check the attraction, has not gone one-oh-one.
Iago & Zazu: We are the Beaky Boys! Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!
Characters © Disney, S. Pleger drawing, © 1999 by Tiki Weekly Enterprises
This page last updated 19 December 2002.
Copyright © 1999-2000 by Bruce A Metcalf and Ronnie O'Rourke (JIROMI). The characters, attractions, and music belong to the Walt Disney Company, who also own the tiki gods.