The 4 Worst Shows on TV aka The De-evolution of Mankind
- American Idol
I. Hate. This. Show. I am a fan of various forms of art, music being one of
them, and this show murders music. "Oh but Bryan those people are sooo
talented." No they fucking aren't. They are dogs trained to act how everyone
wants them to act and that is not art. That is the antithesis of art. All
they do is sing what they are told to sing and they are coerced to "move on
stage" and "show feeling" the way that everyone tells them to. Bullshit.
It's uninspired crap for the sole purpose of making money. Saying the
contestants have talent is like saying a piano has talent; they are being played
by the people who truly are talented. The worst part is, they are themselves
being judge by the talentless people of the American public and Paula Abdul.
That's right, I think Simon Cowel and Randy Jackson have talent. Simon is very
successful as a producer and knows what the public likes. Although this is a
completely pointless talent, a talent none the less. Randy Jackson is an actual
musician who creates and performs original music. Paula Abdul is nothing. She is
nothing. She danced with an animated cat aka nothing.
- Deadliest Catch
Woohoo, the NASCAR of television shows. A television show where the whole
premise of the show is "Will these retards die?" I can see a two hour
documentary because I personally never knew how they fished for crab and other
crustaceous life nor how dangerous it was, but to have show after show where
they are doing THE EXACT SAME THING over and over and you're only watching to see
if someone dies? Don't give me some bullshit that you are watching the show for
the exciting real life documentary, please. That's like saying you'd watch a 3
hour television show with 20 cars making 4 left turns. Oh wait...
- Deal or No Deal
God damnit! When will they stop making "suspenseful" game shows??? The
contestant has 22 minutes to make yes or no responses and pointing. No, I didn't
make that up. That's the show. So it's basically 2 minutes of actual game play
then 20 minutes of the contestant over reacting and acting like he's going to
wet his pants. I'll watch Wheel of Fortune over this show.
- Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
The answer to that question is no. There is not one person involved with that
show that is smarter than a 5th grader. Not the contestants, not Jeff Foxworthy,
not the producers, not the viewers, not even the 5th graders. These are
all people that have been Left Behind by the school system. Ooohhh kids
are cute and it's so funny that adults don't even know simple 5th grade
knowledge. That joke is funny for the 5 minute segment when it's done on the
Late Show with Jay Leno. But a half an hour of a copy of who wants to be a
millionaire with dumber questions? Fuuuck people. Go read a book. Or better yet,
spend time with your own kids.