Get my roll on.
This is a pretty interesting story of when I
rolled my car, a Geo Metro exactly like the one pictured. The picture above is
one I found on the internet but is exactly like the one in this story. I
loved that thing. This story alone should prove that god hates me. Well I
shouldn't say that god hates me, but he certainly ignores me, which I guess is
fair since I do the same to him. Oh by the way when I say god I mean the
Christian god as you will find out in the story.
I was a sophomore in college and I had met a flute player, Heather, in band. No
it wasn't at band camp and she wasn't doing "that" with "it". We became
really good friends and before I knew it we were a couple. A pretty bad couple.
We had absolutely nothing in common other than we both thought I was gods gift
to women and she did have a good sense of humor. Our main difference was she was
a very religious Christian and I was and still am not. When I say very religious
I mean VERY religious. Nearly everything
she(we) did involved Christianity in someway and boy did she believe in that
bible. But she was not a prude Christian, I mean, I had to be in the
relationship for some reason. Right? Anyway, I was willing to stick it out
for... that... for a little while and having to occasionally go to church was a
small price at the time. I have never really cared if someone was Christian,
I've just always seen it as a neat story and the followers as fanatics of the
story, like Lord of the Rings,
they're fanatics about those books too and they're not bad people.
We had officially became a couple sometime in early February of 2002. By the
time spring break had rolled around we had decided that we should go on a road
trip and meet each others parents. This sounded like an excellent idea.
The trip started out going to my place first. It was closer and kind of on the
way to her place in Idaho (yes I know that should have been a red flag right
there). It was a good trip. We talked, learned about each other, yada, yada,
yada. I was really excited for her to meet some of my friends from home, namely
Kevin, Mark and Schilling (the same Schilling from the
Audi/Crystal Method Trip story) who were all
going to be in town. We get home and the first night we go and meet my friends. And I don't
know what it was, maybe not having seen each other for a while, but this meeting
turned into one of the lewdest meetings ever, more filthy than usual. I
was having a blast. Heather was not. Although she was a very giving girlfriend
she did not find the word cunt as funny as I and the rest of my friends. She
ended up being very quiet until we got back to my house. When we got back she
had had enough. She was willing to end the relationship. She couldn't believe
how I could have friends like that and that I must be like that, which is true,
but I of course lied and we made up. I still to this day don't know how that lie
worked. I was engaged in every part of the conversations that night, although
that night was a little excessive, it was obvious I was like that. Oh well. We
spent a few more days in my home town, never going back to see my friends, and
then left for her home in Idaho.
Now this is where god decides to hate me, although I may have given him a reason to. It
was about an 8 hour drive from my place to hers in Idaho. We did quite a bit of
talking, learning, etc, but 8 hours is a looonnngg amount to drive and we
eventually ran out of stuff to talk about.
[backstory]: Since she was religious, and I was curious, we began reading the
bible to each other nearly every night. Each night we read, we would read for
about an hour or so and it usually ended in us fooling around. A very fair trade
off if you ask me.
So when we ran out of things to talk about she thought this would be a good idea
to catch up on our bible reading. She grabs her book and begins to read aloud
from where ever we left off. I think we were on Numbers. I guess since I was
driving and this story session wasn't going to have it's usual ending I became
very bored and... I fell asleep at the wheel! Anyone who has read Numbers can
relate. I just remember hearing a loud rumble, then "BRYAN!", and the car
violently turn left as she grabbed the wheel to follow the road, which by the
way was the highway and we were going 60mph. This turn instantly sent us into
violent fish tailing left and right as I try to correct it all the while trying
to wake up. The legendary handling of a '93 Geo Metro combined with me still not
being able to comprehend what was going on led us to quickly facing the wrong
way and sliding towards the shoulder. Once the car hit the shoulder, the wheels
caught the dirt and the car slams down on the driver side door, then the roof
and finally completely flips back on to its wheels.
Luckily we were both wearing our seat belts and we walked away with no injuries.
I got a slight cut on my left arm from the window breaking as my arm hit it. The
cut didn't even require a band aid. She chipped her tooth, but it was a tooth
that had already been chipped before and she had just knocked out the cap. The
rear of the car was crushed in but the front section of the cab was virtually
unharmed. Here are the pictures. Needless to say the car was totaled. It was the spring of 2002
and it was a '93 Geo Metro with 120k miles, a burnt out headlight is almost totaling
the car. Luckily we were only about 20 minutes from her house and one of the
people who stopped to help with the accident had a large SUV and was going the
same way as us. He was nice enough to give us a ride so we piled all our
stuff from the car into his and he drove us to her place.
Here is where I have to remind you; we were going to her place so that I could
meet her parents for THE FIRST TIME and I have just almost killed their
daughter. We got there and I will never forget the look her mother gave me over
Heathers back as she hugged her. It was like she was that guy from Scanners and
was trying to make my head explode. I will give her parents credit though, other
than the look they made the rest of the weekend easy on me. They had a sense of
humor about the whole situation since Heather herself was a very bad driver; she
had already flipped two cars on her own. She was only 18 at the time. I called
my parents and after initially being relieved to hear I was ok, were pissed that
I had wrecked the car. They unknowingly punished me by providing me with a Geo
Storm the following fall. The rest of the weekend wasn't too eventful and her
friends weren't all that exciting. Spring break ended with her parents having to
drive us all the way back to college, and not being to happy about that.
Most religious people will probably say this story proves that god loves me
because we survived the wreck unharmed. Not me. Engineering is why we survived
unharmed. His bible put me to sleep and therefore caused the accident, hence,
god hates me. Makes perfect sense to me. Either way, it's a good story.