My calipers are too big and I don't know what that means.
Every Sunday TNN, excuse me, Spike TV has a block of shows that focus on cars and they call it the Power Block. It includes Horse Power TV, Car and Driver, Trucks and other automotive programs that cram how to do a complete engine overhaul to add 15hp to your "sports" car in a 22min episode. Now as pointless as I think these shows are I can't get enough of them and I have no idea why.
If you break it down and try to evaluate the purpose of each show it turns out they are just infomercials. They are all just hocking new automotive products. Of course I do love infomercials but I love them because of the flamboyance of the host and inventor along with the ridiculously retarded people they find to test out the competitors product, it's just entertainment that I can't get enough of. On the automotive programs they try to teach you about engine overhauls and suspension replacements; it's all stuff that you should have gone to school to know how to do. So as far as enjoying them because they are infomercials that can't be it because there are no flamboyant stupid heads.
Another reason I have no idea why I like the shows is because I have no idea what they are talking about. Leaf springs, coil overs, hydraulic manifolds, supercharger intake diaphragms, gasoline; these are all terms for things either being modified or installed on these cars and I have no idea what they are. Hell I even take my car to Jiffy lube to change the oil (well my old one not the new one). I do have an engineering back ground so I know what torque is and horse power and I do understand the basics of a 4 stroke engine but as far as where to connect the radiator hose when installing a fan belt I'm lost. So actually being able to follow the show and learn something new can be ruled out as a reason for watching. Like I'm ever going to add a lift kit to my '78 Bronco that I don't own.
Maybe it's the hot chicks? HELL NO IT'S NOT! There are no women on these shows. It's loaded with guys. You couldn't get more sausage unless you where in Germany at a bratwurst convention that was being held next to a pig farm on a Saturday. In short it's hours of television focusing on men. The host of Trucks is named Stacy and this is the closest reference to women amongst the hours of programming! Now I'm starting to question my own heterosexuality. Ok so lets rule out that I'm not watching it to see more men.
Maybe it's the shinny metal? Wait a minute, THAT'S IT! It's the shinny fucking metal. Like a three year old with a red balloon I'm watching these shows because of the chrome and clear coats. I have not seen one of these shows showcase the new hybrid car from Honda or 10 ways to increase the fuel economy in your commuter car. It's all about adding more horse power, more chrome and better paint jobs to make the car look absolutely perfect. Ha ha, so now that I've figured it out do I continue watching? I don't know. Oooh the Ronco electric food dehydrator is on.