The Birthing Hips Story
This is an interesting story of how I inadvertently insulted a friend when she asked me to describe my sister.
I was a junior in college in the dining center having dinner with some friends. For those who don't know, a dining center is a place of miracles. In a college dining center they have figured out how to turn inedible substances into "foods" that some how pass government standards, amazing.
So we're all sitting there talking having a good time, eating our "food" and some how I mention that I have a sister. One of my friends, Megan, is intrigued, obviously thinking I was an only child or something and asks to know more about my sister. I explained that she is a year older, a professional pet groomer, and happily married. Then my friend asks what does she look like. The conversation goes a little something like this:
Me: "Well we look a lot a like. Imagine me but female. Actually you remind me of her."
Megan: "How?"
Me: "Well you both have the same figure."
Megan: "What?!?!" With that tone in her voice that every guy has heard. That "oh so I'm fat" tone.
Me: "No she's not fat, she's healthy and everything, you both just have birthing hips."
This is when the shit hit the fan. I was very unaware that birthing hips were a bad thing. I like a curvy woman but apparently she didn't. So she slams her tray, picks it up, says some stuff about how she is shocked that I said that and storms out of the miracle center. Latter that evening I go to her room and she calmly explains to me that apparently saying a woman has birthing hips is about as bad as calling her a cunt or cum dumpster. But she had calmed down and realized that I meant nothing by it and we did the scrotum dance and we were back to friends.
Oh sorry Nicole about the birthing hips. At least it'll make having children easier, just ask mom. Oh also the scrotum dance is this happy dance that we made up, it's NOT something sexual. Perverts.