Technology for Country Folk

LOG ON: Making a wood stove hot 

LOG OFF: Too much wood on fire 

MONITOR: Keep'n an eye on 
the wood stove 

DOWN LOAD: Gitten the farwood 
off'n the truck 

MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerfull 
gitten the farwood 

FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from 
tryin to tote too much farwood 

RAM: That thar thang 
what splits the farwood 

HARD DRIVE: Gitten home 
in the winter time 

WINDOWS: Whut to shut 
when its cold outside 

SCREEN: Whut to shut 
when its black fly season 

BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do 

CHIP: Munchies fer the TV 

MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom 
of the munchie bag 

MODEM: Whatcha do to the hay fields 

DOT MATRIX: Ole Dan Matrix's wife 

LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps 

KEYBOARD: Whar you hang 
the dang truck keys 

SOFTWARE: Dem dang 
plastic forks and knifes 

MOUSE: What eats the grain 
in the barn 

MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk 
fer where the mouse lives 

MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof 

PORT: Fancy flatlander wine 

ENTER: Notherner talk 
fer "C'Mon in y'all" 

CLICK: Whut you hear 
when you cock yer gun 

DOUBLE CLICK: When you cock 
the double barrel 

REBOOT: Whut you have to do 
right before bedtime, when you have to go to the outhouse