Student Life

Over the years BundeSchwager University has served the fertile minds of future generations we've come to realize that if you have a life you don't need us to tell you a damn thing and, if you don't, how the hell did you get into BU? You must know someone with some interesting pictures of us.

So, for those students who may need some guidance, we advise that you stay in your dorm room and study. That way you won't snitch, ah, waste your valuable time intermingling with the less studious of our student body.

But, for those times when even you, you little bookworm, need to get out of the room because your roommate is screwing someone, we do have a few things to occupy your mind until your roommate gives the all clear.

Student Government

The students who truly make your days at old BU truly memorable are your fellow students who spend their time and effort towards the common goal of a better university for all.

Click here for a brief history of the BU Student Government and find out what it's doing for you right now!

Clubs and Organizations

The Student body of BundeSchwager University is notoriously private. The faculty and staff prays that it's due to the intense studying of our students but our aggregate GPA and drug busts tend to give us pause with that hypothesis.

No matter the reason for these solitary endeavors, the students of BU aren't, by nature, joiners. But, we're proud to announce that this this year we have the largest number of organizations in BU history. We hope this points to an all new burst of community spirit and invigorate a new passion for personal growth.

Book Club - Through a generous grant from the B&G Publishing Group, we are please to offer this unique club.
Free Market Wizkids - This group creates a product and tries to take over the world through marketing and perseverance.
Densa - The premier low IQ group in the world has an extremely active chapter at BU.
International Playboy Scouts - For boys (and girls!) who just can't get enough of the scouting experience.
Summer Camp Club - Rally 'round the campfire! Join the group that's never lost it's taste for bug juice. And get a potential summer job!
Amusement Park Lovers Club - For those 'personal experimentation' types who can't get enough of roller coasters. Join this club!
The CPA Club - You know if you're one or not.
The Deflect Blame Club - No one likes to take blame, get out of it by joining this club.
The Dylexics Bluc - Dyxlesia is a teirrble thgin to hvae. Joni ohters lkei yuo adn srecam it form the oorf tpo!
Cat Lovers Club - Kitty's is so cute!
REAL Cat Lovers Club - Kitty's is so cuddly!
Senior Citizens Helpie Helperton Club! - Some of our more civic minded students just love the old folks!
Stress Beaters Club - College life is full of stress and this club can chill you out during those rough times
Anti-Motivational Club - (will the president of this club please fill in necessary data about their club. Thank you.)

Dorm Life

The most pressing questions we receive about dorm life is,

"What will my room look like?"

That question outnumbers any other question including,

"What's that smell?"

"If my roommate dies, do I get a 4.0 for the semester? What if two die? Will I graduate with honors? How many have to buy it to get me a doctorate?"

"No, seriously, what's that smell?"

So, to clarify, the rooms at BundeSchwager University have all of the modern features one would find in a technologically advanced, forward thinking, freedom espousing university working feverishly to protect it's bottom line.

To give you an example of an average dorm room at BundeSchwager University, we went back through the archives and pulled out a picture of a room that quite possibly could be the room you will personally reside in for your tenure at BU.

(your room may vary. No, it will vary. Yours will most likely
have a floor and something that the city inspectors say is a
ceiling. Trust us, getting him to say that cost a bundle.
So appreciate what we've done for you you whiny little maggot)

If you have any other questions about life at BundeSchwager University don't hesitate to ask Fred. He's been here longer than the buildings and knows where everything is.

And we do mean everything.