Posted 7/23/08
This morning, before leaving for work, I put two envelopes in my backpack--two bills: the health insurance and the credit card--in order to mail them when I got to the train station (where there is a mailbox, duh). The mail was stuck in the small pocket on the back of my backpack, sticking out so I would remember to grab them and drop them in the box as I walked up to the station.
But I hit unusual traffic on my way, and was a little late getting to the train. Thus I was in a hurry, and forgot about mailing the bills. No big deal. I went into the station, paid for parking, went up to the platform, boarded the train--no seats, dammit--and took a spot in the end of the car, then went to my bag to pull out the iPod for the trip.
That's when I remembered, by seeing, the bills. Except there was only one envelope sticking out of my backpack.
Guess which one was missing.
I searched the bag, hoping I had just put something in the wrong place, but no, the credit card bill was not there. Of course, by this time the train was moving and I was on my way to San Francisco--I would have no chance to correct things until I got home in about nine hours. If there was any correcting I could do, that is. I had no real idea what had happened--did the envelope fall out of my bag? Was it stolen, lifted deftly out of the bag right behind my back? Did I ever even put it in the bag, or did I just put one envelope in the bag and think I'd had two? No idea.
I went about my business, mostly in control but still constantly bothered in the background by the implications of the missing credit card bill. I checked my bank account online a couple of times, just to make sure no one had gone on a shopping spree with my stolen checking account number. No activity reported. Eventually, I left work and took that long ride home. When I arrived at the station, I retraced my steps on the platform, then asked at the information booth if anyone had turned in a piece of mail. Stupid question, but I had to be sure. No dice. I retraced my steps across the parking lot, though that held little hope of finding the bill. Finally, I got to my car, the last resort in my mind; if it had not fallen out of my bag on the passenger's seat, it was probably gone and in someone else's hands.
I checked the car, opening the passenger's door first, then circling the car to sweep the nearby ground. Nothing. So I drove home, already thinking about the tooth-pulling phone calls I would have to make, and the costs that would incur from cancelled accounts and such.
At last, I pulled into my driveway at home. About half way down I spotted a white something lying on the pavement, near where I park my car. Yep. The credit card bill had fallen out of my bag before I ever got in the car, and laid there all day. The relief was enough to assuage turn around the previous feelings of dread in a heartbeat.
A lucky day, perhaps. Or just one of those things. Given my batting average over the last few years, I'm just glad it turned out to be a minor nuisance rather than a true fiasco.
POSTSCRIPT: And here's the actual angering part: I should have never needed to mail that bill in the first place. Last month, I paid off my credit card. Or so I thought. I wrote a check for the full balance, which was received and paid before the due date. But dig this: because part of the balance was from a cash advance, the bank still dinged me for a finance charge for the days I had a balance, even though the total was paid before the due date. Do you ever wonder why people despise bankers? All that aggravation over $4.33. A sum I shouldn't have to pay to begin with. Or wouldn't have to pay, in an honest world.
Following up on "The Experiment," in case anyone felt a need to see those concepts expressed in equation form--for some reason the idea popped into my head--the resulting equation goes something like this:
weight ± sleep ± stress ± exercise ± food = ∂(weight)
In this case, the ∂ (lower case delta) represents "difference" in weight (not differential, as it usually represents). Note the plus/minus operators; what this is saying that that difference is determined, positively or negatively, but the quantities in the other variables (operands 2 through 5). I place the variables in this equation in order of importance, by my experience (especially in "the Experiment"). Literal food for thought. Your mileage may vary.
I have lately taken to baking potatoes the old-fashioned way, after seeing Alton Brown on Good Eats give some definitive lowdown on how to bake a potato. You know, like those potatoes you get with your dinner at a good steak house. Mmmmmm. My only regret is that I took the sordid advice I've heard over the years about "baking" your potatoes in the microwave. No no NO.
Give yourself an hour. Preheat that oven, then poke some holes in your spud. (You might want to wash the thing first.) Then rub some vegetable oil on it, along with a little salt (this crisps up that skin, and seasons it too). Put it in the oven, middle rack, DON'T wrap it in aluminum foil, and leave it there for 60 minutes. When it comes out...oh, so good. Cooked all the way through, all tender and fluffy inside, nice snap on that skin (the best part, to some folks). Do yourself a favor--say screw the microwave and do it right for a change.
Posted 7/14/08
As I continue to roll on through this bizarre Summer, generally exhausted, out-of-sorts and putting on weight that I previously lost just a few months ago (though I seem to have held steady the last week or so), it is becoming more and more clear that my efforts from mid-November last year to mid-April of this year must be seen as an encapsulated--and finished--whole. In other words, it's over. What comes after this must be viewed as a new project, not a continuation of the previous regime.
Thus, I have come to view that period and its products as "The Experiment"--a distinct period of effort and experimentation in which I tried to pin down important themes and concepts in the quest for a healthier self and life. The results may be viewed as encouraging (38 pounds lost at maximum, relative ease in developing and following a specific regimen, the proscription of definitive "rules of engagement" for this struggle), even in the face of some obvious discouraging aspects (bluntly, the shit don't work when I'm working). Some observations that may prove interesting:
It is in that last point that I find the greatest difficulty that confronts me. Because the objective reality that is staring me in the face is simply this: I can not accomplish what I need to accomplish while I am employed. The striking difference between the period of "The Experiment" and the days before and after shows that for me, getting away from that situation and being able to focus exclusively on reworking myself is the only road to total success.
And that calculus is alarming: if I was only able to lose 38 pounds in those 5 months, and I need to lose about 3 times that amount, I should have to take approximately 15 months off. That's more than a year of time off needed. Working in approximate figures, based on my knowledge of my bank account in the stated period, it cost me almost $9000 to maintain myself during those 5 months; 15 months, presumably, would require $27,000 in the bank. I can't imagine any circumstance in which I will be able to pile up such a sum, unless the Jeopardy! people call me (and I won't hold my breath for that).
Thus we see why I am often overwhelmed by the task that confronts me. The empirical evidence suggests that I can't make it happen without devoting my life to the task. But devoting my life to the task, to the extent required, is financially impossible. And coming to some accommodation that meets the need halfway, or even a quarter of the way, remains elusive.
And those are the findings, so far, of "The Experiment."
Thus ends my foray into thinking out loud on the web.
And you thought all I could bring you were dick and fart jokes.
Posted 7/4/08
I came across this quote while reading a story in the SF Chronicle about sausages. Some guy who works at a local meat company claimed:
"We bone out our own pork butt"
I defy anyone to find a funnier line than that.
I didn't make any legitimate posts during June because I was simply too damn busy. Just not enough time. But I do still consider this my home base, so keep checking this space for, you know, stuff.
Whatever.
This page last updated on 8/14/08