ANATOMICALLY inCORRECT
a very bad poem
by John Liger
from the yet-to-be-published
"Nicely Done Bad Poems of the 20th Century"
pub. by "Shyster & Sue-Me"
back to photo page

It takes a lot of elbow grease — to trim a tough old toenail
    When I’ve got my shoulder to the wheel
    But my head’s still in the clouds

I’ve still got both feet on the ground and nose to the grindstone
    But I can barely toe the dotted line
    While I’m reaching for a twinkly star

It may really all be in the wrist, but I’m keepin’ my fingers in the pie
    While my hat’s still in the ring and
    My one good ear close to the ground

It brings a lump to my throat — and a gleam in my eye
    But stranger take notes — and don’t bother to cry

I’ll be keepin’ my mind open — and my big mouth tightly shut
    As I belly up to the bar of life
    And thumb my nose at fallen arches

My compass prob’ly’s headed south — — my big foot in my mouth
    But I keep my head screwed on pretty straight
    Even if one hand’s sort of stuck in the cookie jar

So while I’m down on my trick knee — with a stiff and achy neck
    Should I worry ’bout a few old migraines
    Or where I put the dang Viagra

My daddy warned me long ago — told me “pay attention”
    Or by the time I learnt how the game was played
    I’d be too darn old to make the team

But my skin ain’t thin — and my bones so brittle
    The I can’t poke fun — and laugh mor’n a little