"I was adopted at age four to Southern, fundamentalist parents
in their mid-fifties--what more could a writer want?"

Mothering Mother
Carol D. O’Dell

Biography & Autobiography | Personal Memoirs
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS | Aging
HUMOR | Topic | Family

Booklist: "Beautiful, told with humor...and much love."

O'Dell, Carol D. Mothering Mother: A Daughter’s Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir. 2007. 208p. Kunati, $19.95 (1-60164-003-X).

O’Dell, a member of the “sandwich generation”—made up of boomers taking care of both their own children and their elderly parents—portrays the experience of looking after a mother suffering from Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s with brutal honesty and refreshing grace. She peppers the memoir with scenes from her past, including meeting her adoptive parents (“The first time I saw Mama, I was four years old”) and the death of her father. With three children of her own, O’Dell is torn in multiple directions, trying to be mother, daughter, nurse, cook, caregiver, maid, and more to five needy people. Mama’s neediness is unrelenting, and O’Dell is at once bitter and sorry that her mother cannot be who she was. When the inevitable end comes, O’Dell wonders why she longed for the free time she now finds lonely and empty. A beautiful rendering of a difficult but all-too-common situation, told with plenty of humor, a touch of martyrdom, and much love.

Booklist Review by Mary Frances Wilkens
YA: Teen readers will identify with the kids’ difficulty dealing with their grandmother and fighting for their mother’s attention. MFW.

"We all want you."
This theme recurs throughout Carol D. O'Dell's bitingly humorous and unflinchingly honest memoir. Carol's mother has Parkinson's Disease and a heart condition and Carol's decision not to put her mother "in one of those homes" has far-reaching consequences for her family. She must learn to Mother her own mother. This refreshing and entertaining memoir will help baby boomers struggling with their own decisions on elder care in the home.

Mothering Mother is not simply a how-to book on caregiving. Mothering Mother touches on what our relationships do to us, how they impact our souls, our beliefs—beliefs about ourselves, about life and the quality of life, about faith and hope and finally, about death.

Mothering Mother is an authentic and "in-the-room" view of a daughter's struggle to care for an aging parent. It will touch you and never leave you. You will be astonished at Carol's brutal honesty. Her ability to narrate the feelings of the moment—love, grief, humor and even those moments of bitter resentment—will both reassure and arm you for the day when you may face a similar choice. Find out why, so many say, "I loved this book!"

US$ 19.95
Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoirs
FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Aging
HUMOR / Topic / Family
Pages 208
ISBN 978-1-897339-09-1
EAN: 9781897339091
Kunati Cloth Hardcover

To watch CNN.Com interview
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To watch ATLANTA (FOX 5) interview
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To watch Miami CBS 4 interview
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To read an excerpt of Mothering Mother
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To purchase Mothering Mother on Amazon
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Carol D. O’Dell is now a Family Advisor at Caring.com

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Welcome to Mothering Mother and the website of Carol D. O’Dell

ANGELS

If this is your first time, I hope you’ll take a look around. Each page has something unique to offer. Click on my CNN interview and sit back and relax—or read an excerpt from Mothering Mother. Or…go to my events page and see if I might be coming to your city soon—or listen to a radio interview.

I like to incorporate art and photography into my site because I never want my message to be merely utilitarian. I hope that by adding art, quotes, photos, helpful hints, interviews, and excerpts that  will touch the heart of my readers. Our souls need nurturing every day.

The definition of angel is:  “messenger", a supernatural being, attendants or guardians.

Sounds like a caregiver to me!

Why do I say that?

Caregivers are “messengers.” They are often asked to be the voice for their loved one. They are advocates. They have to speak up, ask questions, probe, and sometimes demand their loved one is cared for. They must communicate with their loved one, explain procedures, explain why they can’t drive any more, explain that the pain medicine should kick in soon…

Caregivers are multi-taskers par excellence.

We wake up, shower, dress, feed the cat, let the dogs out, throw in the wash, strip the bed, let the dogs back in, run to three doctor’s appointments, swing by the pharmacy, schedule an MRI, talk to the school nurse about our sick child, drop off mom, fix her lunch, go get the sick child, notice gray hairs in the rearview mirror, call and schedule a hair appointment, stop by the pharmacy again, lay that child on the couch, feed them Gatorade, clean up the upchuck off the carpet where they missed the trashcan you placed by the couch, let the dogs back in, call a friend who’s down and encourage her, make the bed, give mom her next round of meds and try and get her to eat some applesauce, walk her to the kitchen and try and engage her in helping you with dinner, fix dinner, let the dogs back out, switch the wash again, kiss hubby, eat dinner, load dishwasher, let the dogs back in, let the cat in, read to your child and put them to bed, tuck mom in, fall on the couch…

I’d say all this could be done only by a supernatural being.

Caregivers are guardians.

They guard the hearts and lives of those they love. They watch over, protect, encourage, nurture and heal. When everyone else is tired, a caregiver stays up. When other people are busy, a caregiver makes time. When others are scared, a caregiver isn’t brave because they want to be, they’re brave because they refuse to allow those they love to face sorrow, pain, or fear alone.

I hope you enjoy the angels throughout my website.

Know that you are somebody’s angel.