"Ladies and gentlemen, I was warned to be out of here in plenty of time to permit those who are going to the Green Bay Packers game to leave. I don't mind running against Mr. Nixon but I have the good sense not to run against the Green Bay Packers."

"We had an interesting convention at Los Angeles and we ended with a strong Democratic platform which we called 'The Rights of Man.' The Republican platform has also been presented. I do not know its title, but it has been referred to as 'The Power of Positive Thinking."

"I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together in the White House -- with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone." (White House dinner honoring Nobel Prize winners.)

"Those of you who regard my profession of political life with distain should remember that it made it possible for me to move from being an obscure lieutenant in the United States Navy to Commander-in-Chief in fourteen years with very little technical competence."

"Politics is an astonishing profession. It has enabled me to go from being an obscure member of the junior varsity at Harvard to being an honorary member of the Football Hall of Fame."

"When we got into office, the thing that surprised me most was to find that things were just as bad as we'd been saying they were." (May 27, 1961)

"I never know when I press these whether I am going to blow up Massachusetts or start the project." (September, 1963, Salt Lake City airport pulling the switch to activate the generators at the Green River in the Colorado River basin 150 miles away.)
While listening to the loudspeaker for the announcement that generators had successfully started:
"If we don't hear from him, it's back to the drawing board."

"I see nothing wrong with giving Robert some legal experience as Attorney General before he goes out to practice law." (January 21, 1961) sticker

"I have just received the following telegram from my generous Daddy. It says, "Dear Jack: Don't buy a single vote more than is necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide." (Gridiron Dinner, Washington, D.C., 1958)

"Several nights ago, I dreamed that the good Lord touched me on the shoulder and said, 'Don't worry, you'll be the Democratic presidential nominee in 1960. What's more, you'll be elected.' I told Stu Symington about my dream. 'Funny thing,' said Stu, 'I had the same dream myself.' We both told our dreams to Lyndon Johnson, and Johnson said, 'That's funny. For the life of me, I can't remember tapping either of you two boys for the job.'

"Mr. Nixon in the last seven days has called me an economic ignoramus, a Pied Piper, and all the rest. I've just confined myself to calling him a Republican, but he says that is getting low."

"I have sent him [former President Harry S Truman] the following wire: 'Dear Mr. President: I have noted with interest your suggestion as to where those who vote for my opponent should go. While I understand and sympathize with your deep motivation, I think it is important that our side try to refrain from raising the religious issue."

Little Boy: "Mr. President, how did you become a war hero?"
President Kennedy: "It was absolutely involuntary. They sank my boat."

"It has recently been suggested that, whether I serve one or two terms in the Presidency, I will find myself at the end of that period at what might be called the awkward age -- too old to begin a new career and too young to write my memoirs."

"When President Roosevelt was running for a second term. . .some garment workers unfolded a great sign that said, 'We love him for the enemies he has made.' Well, I have been making some good enemies lately."

Press Quips press conference

Question: The Republican National Committee recently adopted a resolution saying you were pretty much of a failure. How do you feel about that?

President Kennedy: I assume it passed unanimously.   (July 17, 1963)

Question: Senator, when does the moratorium end on Nixon's hospitalization and your ability to attack him?

Kennedy: Well, I said I would not mention him unless I could praise him until he got out of the hospital, and I have not mentioned him. (September 9, 1960)

Question: Mr. President, Senator Margaret Chase Smith has proposed that a watchdog committee be created. What is your reaction?

President Kennedy: To watch Congressmen and Senators? Well, that will be fine if they feel they should be watched. (March 21, 1963)

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