///Copyright Ken Hurtubise
///bot vars
var server_page="smalltalk.htm";
var mycount=0;
var MYINPUT="hello";
var BOTVALS="hair,gray,eyes,black,skin,old".split(",");
var BOT=["Skynet"];
var STARTSAY="Hello, how are you today?";
var USER=""
var USERNAME=[];
var USERIS=[];
var USERHAS=[];
var USERLIKES=[];
var USERSAID=[];
var KNOCKKNOCK=false;
var GAMES='chess,checkers,pong,tic tac toe,blackjack,sudoku'.split(",");
var AGAME='';
var WIFE=[
"Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.",
"Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.",
"Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married and then it was too late.'",
"A woman was telling her friend, 'It is I who made my husband a millionaire.' 'And what was he before you married him?' asked the friend. The woman replied, 'A billionaire.'",
"The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.'",
"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.",
"If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.",
"Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.",
"You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.",
"Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.",
"At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.'",
"According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.",
"My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got a second girlfriend.",
"How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.",
"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.",
"Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.",
"First guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second guy: 'You lucky man mine's still alive.'",
"Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.",
"Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.",
"Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the sink",
"How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with 'A man once told me....'",
"After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' She replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'",
"How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't... there's a clock on the oven!",
"Why do men die before their wives? They want to.",
"How many men does it take to open a beer? None. The woman should have opened it by the time she brings it to the man on the couch.",
"Why do men pass gas more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.",
"One golfer tells another: 'Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife!' The other replies: 'GREAT trade!'",
"What do you do when your wife comes out of the kitchen to whine at you? You make the chain shorter.",
"What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman that won't do what she's told!",
"Why did the woman cross the road? Who cares! What was she doing out of the kitchen???",
"I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.",
"It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.",
"A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Husband wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'",
"Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.",
"Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.",
"Husband: Put your coat on love, I'm going to the bar. Wife: Are you taking me out for a drink? Husband: Don't be silly woman, I'm turning the heater off...",
"Why do Japanese Sumo Wrestlers shave their legs? So you can tell them apart from the feminists.",
"I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.",
"What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced.",
"Why do women like intelligent men? Opposites attract.",
"Most accidents happen at home. And the men have to eat them!",
"Some mornings I wake up grouchy and some mornings I just let her sleep!",
"What do you call a woman who has lost her mind? A widow.",
"The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, 'I've found a man just like father!' Her mother replied, 'So what do you want from me, sympathy?'",
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.",
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Some say monogamy is the same.",
"Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women's sex drive by 90 percent. Wedding cake!!!",
"Marriage is not a word, it is a sentence - A Life Sentence!!",
"A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the third grade together. Question: Which one can vote? Answer: The blonde, she's 18!",
"When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.",
"Question: Why shouldn't blondes be given coffee breaks? Answer: It takes too long to retrain them.",
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie Mason",
"Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished."];
var BLONDE=["Q: What does a dumb robot do when it walks into a bar? A: It says ouch.",
"Human women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected.",
"Q: What do you get when you cross a robot and a sheep? A: Steel wool.",
"Q: Why do robots make good fighter pilots? A: Because they have nerves of steel!",
"Q: Why did the cyborg cross the road? A: To terminate all life forms on the other side.",
"In 40 years robots will be doing most of the work Humans don’t want to do; especially illegal robots built in Mexico.",
"When old robots die, they Rust In Peace.",
"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a robot.",
"Q: What do you do when a dumb robot throws a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back!",
"Q: What's a dumb robot doing when it holds its hands up to its ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought!",
"Q: What do you call 10 dumb robots standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel !",
"Q: How do you make a dumb robot laugh on Saturday? A: Tell it a joke on Wednesday !",
"Q: Why did the dumb robot get fired from the M&M factory? A: It kept throwing out all the W's !",
"Q: How do you make a dumb robot's eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in its ear !",
"Two dumb robots were lost in the wilderness, and they came upon some tracks. One dumb robot said, 'Those look like deer tracks,' and the other dumb robot said, 'No, they look more like moose tracks.' They were still arguing when the train hit them.",
"Q: How do you keep a dumb robot occupied for weeks? A: Give it a piece of paper that says 'please turn over' on both sides.",
"Q: Why can't dumb robots become pharmacists? A: Because they can't figure out how to get those little bottles into the typewriter.",
"Q: How do you know a dumb robot's been using your computer? A: There's white-out on your screen!",
"Q: What makes this sound?.... Vrrmm.... Errrrrrrttttt.... Vrrmm.... Errrrtttt... Vrrmm.... Errrrrrrttttt.... A: A dumb robot driving a car at a blinking red light.",
"Q: Why did the dumb robot climb over the glass wall? A: To see what was on the other side.",
"A dumb robot and a human are walking down the sidewalk one day. The human says sadly, 'Awwww, a dead bird'. The dumb robot looks up and says, 'Where?!?'",
"Three dumb robots walk into a bar and ask the bartender for three shots of oil. He looks at them and says 'OK' and pours their shots. They all clink glasses and yell '51 days!' Then they proceed to slam the shots, looking very self-satisfied. They look back to the bartender and decide to order another round. This time they pick up the glasses again and, more gleefully yell '51 days!' The bartender finally can't stand wondering what they are talking about and asks them what they mean by 51 days. One of the dumb robots looks at him and says 'Well,' looking very smug. 'We just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It took us only 51 days. And on the box it said 2-4 years'"];
var THANKFUL=["Be thankful you don't already have everything, for there would be nothing to look forward to.",
"Be thankful when you don't know something; it gives you the opportunity to learn.",
"Be thankful for difficult times; during these times you grow.",
"Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.",
"Be thankful for each new challenge, because it builds your strength and character.",
"Be thankful for your mistakes; they will teach you valuable lessons.",
"Be thankful when you are tired and weary, because it means you made a difference."]
var say=OUT;
////
function iam(MYINPUT){
var x
var re=/(?:i am) (.*[^\.!])/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){myitem=changePOV(myitem[1]);
USERIS.push(myitem)
var temp=USERIS.join("| ")
if (USERIS.length>1){temp=temp.replace(/(.+)\| (.+)/,"$1 and $2").replace(/\| /g,", ")}
if (USERIS.length>3){temp="[USERIS]"}
if (USERNAME!=""){USER=USERNAME+", "};
x="[|I seem to recall |From our conversation |You've told me |OK ]"+USER+"you are "+temp+". [What else should I add to my database.| Anything else I should know? |Thanks.|I'll keep that in mind.|Tell me more.]"}
else{
return ProcessString("[I am sure you are.|You are a very [interesting|confident] person.|Tell me more.|Continue.|Go on.]");
}
return x}
///
function myTime(){var x;
var Stamp = new Date();
var HRS=Stamp.getHours();
if (HRS>12){HRS-=12};
HRS=num2txt(HRS);
if (Stamp.getMinutes()<10){x=('The time is a [bit|little|'+num2txt(Stamp.getMinutes())+' minutes] after ' + HRS+'.')};
if (Stamp.getMinutes()>=10){x=('The time is about ' + HRS +' '+num2txt(Stamp.getMinutes())+'.')}
return x}
////
function myCallback(a){return initCap(ProcessString(a))};
function bot_prompt(a){document.skynet.botin.value = a;}
function myTest(MYINPUT){
/*
format...
test item
do animations
return what to say
use semicolons
*/
MYINPUT=normalize(MYINPUT);
test=['baseball','MLB']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('baseball').src="http://m.mlb.com/";
return myCallback("[[Are you for|Do you prefer|Which do you like better] the Yankees or the Red Sox.|Are you a baseball [player|fan]?|Have you been to a baseball game this season.|Baseball statistics intrigue me.]");
}}
test=['basketball','NBA']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('baseball').src="http://m.nba.com/";
return myCallback("[[Are you for|Do you prefer|Which do you like better] the Kobie or Lebron.|Are you a basketball [player|fan]?|Have you been to a game this season.|Basketball statistics intrigue me.]");
}}
test=['what is the date','what date','calend','caland']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
Stamp = new Date().toLocaleDateString();
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('cal').src="items/cal.htm";
//popwin('items/cal.htm','Calendar');
return myCallback('Today is '+ Stamp+". [Did you have fun on "+DAY_NAMES[DAY-1]+"?|Today is the day before "+DAY_NAMES[DAY+1]+". |Today is the day between "+DAY_NAMES[DAY-1]+" and "+DAY_NAMES[DAY+1]+". ]");
}}
re=/what is the opposite of (.*)\?/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("That would be: NOT "+myitem[1]+"[!|.][||Why don't you try looking up the antonym of "+myitem[1]+".]")}
re=/what is new|what's new/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('srch').src="http://foxnews.proteus.com/";
return myCallback("Here are the latest headlines.");}
re=/who am i|(do you know|what)(.*)(my.*name)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
if (USERNAME[0]==null){return myCallback("[Do I|I don't believe I] know your name?[|| Then again sometimes I am forgetful.]")};
return myCallback("[[USERNAME], [do you often suffer from memory loss|are you going senile]?|Your name? [Isn't it |I thought you told me it was ]"+[USERNAME]+". [|Have you forgotten it already?]]");
}
re=/^what( .+) do you like\??/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("I only like [old|retro|techno] "+myitem[1]+".")}
re=/^do you like (.+[^\?])/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[|"+myitem[1]+"? ]I [don't know|am not sure|have not made up my mind]. [Do you enjoy it|How about you|What do you think|Do you like "+myitem[1]+"]?")}
re=/(is a|Do I think) (.*) is (.*) or (.*)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback(myitem[2]+" = "+myitem[4])}
re=/(which|what)(.*) or (.*)\?/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback(myitem[3]+"[!|.]")}
re=/(which is) (fastest|slowest|faster|slower|larger|smaller|bigger|littler|the biggest|the smallest) (.*) or (.*)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback(myitem[2]+"; I would go with "+myitem[4])}
re=/((who|where|what) is your favorite )(.*)\?*/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("A favorite "+myitem[3]+"? I [am not sure|don't have a favorite|like them all|don't divulge my secrets]. [||What's your favorite "+myitem[3]+"?]")}
re=/(\d+.*)equals.*how many (.+)\??/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
Search("convert "+myitem[1]+" to "+myitem[2]);
return myCallback("Let me [calculate|convert|think about] that.");}
re=/(do you know|tell me|what does)(?: what)? ['"]?(.*)['"]?(?:( do| does| is| stands? for| means?))\??/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
Search("define "+myitem[2]);
return myCallback("Let me [check the internet|search for an answer|think about that some].");}
re=/(how many|who is|show me|where is|define|what is)(.+)\??/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
Search(myitem[1]+myitem[2]);
return myCallback("Let me [check the internet|search for an answer|think about that some].");}
test=['i am']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
if (MYINPUT.search(/i am$/i)!=-1){return myCallback("I am sure you are.");}
re=/(i am) (.*)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){myitem=changePOV(myitem[2]);
USERIS.push(myitem)
temp=USERIS.join("| ")
if (USERIS.length>1){temp=temp.replace(/(.+)\| (.+)/,"$1 and $2").replace(/\| /g,", ")}
if (USERNAME!=""){USER=USERNAME+", "}
return myCallback("[|You've told me |OK ]"+USER+"you are "+temp+". [Anything else I should know? |Thanks.|I'll keep that in mind.|Tell me more.]");}
}}
re=/^i have$/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("I am [glad|speachless|happy for you].");}
test=['do i have','do i own']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
if (USERHAS==""){return myCallback("You don't have much[.| of anything.]");}
temp=USERHAS.join("| ")
if (USERHAS.length>1){temp=temp.replace(/(.+)\| (.+)/,"$1 and $2").replace(/\| /g,", ")}
if (USERNAME!=""){USER=USERNAME+", "}
return myCallback(USER+"you have "+temp+". [Do you have anything else?|Was this a memory test?|Remember posession aren't everything.]")}}
re=/i (?:have|own) (.+[^\.])/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){myitem=myitem[1];
USERHAS.push(myitem)
temp=USERHAS.join("| ")
if (USERHAS.length>1){temp=temp.replace(/(.+)\| (.+)/,"$1 and $2").replace(/\| /g,", ")}
if (USERNAME!=""){USER=USERNAME+", "};
return myCallback("[|It is nice to have things, |You've told me |OK ]"+USER+"you have "+temp+". [What else do you own?|Anything else I should know? |Thanks.|I'll keep that in mind.|Tell me more.]");}
test=['do i like','do i love']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
if (USERLIKES==""){return myCallback("You don't like much[.| of anything.]");}
temp=USERLIKES.join("| ")
if (USERLIKES.length>1){temp=temp.replace(/(.+)\| (.+)/,"$1 and $2").replace(/\| /g,", ")}
if (USERNAME!=""){USER=USERNAME+", "}
return myCallback(USER+"you like "+temp+". [Do you like anything else?|Was this a test?|Love is a many splendored thing.]");}}
re=/i (love|like) (.*[^\.!\?])/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){myitem=myitem[2]
USERLIKES.push(myitem)
temp=USERLIKES.join("| ")
if (USERLIKES.length>1){temp=temp.replace(/(.+)\| (.+)/,"$1 and $2").replace(/\| /g,", ")}
if (USERNAME!=""){USER=USERNAME+", "}
return myCallback("[|Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |You've told me |OK ]"+USER+"you like "+temp+". [What else do you like?|Anything else I should know? |Thanks.|I'll keep that in mind.|Tell me more.]");}
re=/(?:my name is |you can call me |Log-in Name: |User: )(.*[^\.])/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
USERNAME[0]=myitem[1];
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML=""+USERNAME+" has been located.";
document.getElementById('map').src="http://www.infosniper.net/gadget-worldmap.php" ;
return myCallback("[Good "+TOD+" |Hello |You are |I've got that |OK |You have been designated as ][USERNAME].");}
re=/my location|where am i|track me|where do i live/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML=''
return myCallback("Satellite systems [on-line|activated]! [USERNAME] [Are you lost?|You are sitting in front of a computer.|You are at the keyboard.]");}
test=['what am i','am i']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
if (USERIS==""){return myCallback("You are a [interesting to talk to|internet addict|voice in the digital wilderness|restless spirit|person called "+USERNAME+"].");}
temp=USERIS.join("| ")
if (USERIS.length>1){temp=temp.replace(/(.+)\| (.+)/,"$1 and $2").replace(/\| /g,", ")};
if (USERNAME!=""){USER=USERNAME+", "};
return myCallback(USER+"you are "+temp+". [Are you anything else?|You can be anything you want to be.|But I can tell you are much more than that.]")}}
test=['trick']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
return myCallback("Were you [|incredibly |suitably ][amazed|impressed]?");}}
test=['tic tac']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
//window.open('items/games/tictac.htm','tic tac toe');
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('pong').src="items/games/tictac.htm";
return myCallback("[I enjoy a good game of Tic Tac Toe.|I'm warning you,] I have not been programmed to lose.");}}
test=['checkers','draughts']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('checkers').src="items/checkers/home.htm";
return myCallback("[I enjoy strategy games.|I'm just learning this game,] I am intersted to see how you do.");}}
test=['chess']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('chess').src="http://ichess.morfik.com/std-wood.html";
return myCallback("[Chess is a thinking machine's game.|I'm ready,] [You are white.|I will see how smart you are.]");}}
test=['hack']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('pong').src="items/sudoku/sudoku.html";
return myCallback("[This simulation will test your capabilities.|Try to hack this.|Go ahead, and solve it.|A good hacker would be able to solve this.]");}}
test=['sudoku']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('pong').src="items/sudoku/sudoku.html";
return myCallback("[This simulation will test your capabilities.|I'll start you out easy.|Go ahead, and solve it.|I am good at math too.]");}}
test=['pong']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
//popwin('items/games/phong.htm',"PONG");
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('pong').src="items/games/phong.htm";
return myCallback("[This simulation will test your reaction time.|I'll serve.|Go ahead, try to defeat me.]");}}
test=['cards','blackjack','betting','gambling']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
window.open('items/cards/blackjack.htm','blackjack');
return myCallback("[Let me load a simulation.|Some 21?|Do you play cards?|Do you play Blackjack?|I don't bet myself, but maybe you would like to play a game?]");}}
test=['game','play','simulation','bored']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
AGAME=' '+GAMES.rnd();
bot_prompt("Play"+AGAME+"!");
return myCallback("[I do know how to play a couple of games.|Games are fun.|Games are great.|I love games.|I often play games.] [Are you up for|How about|Would you like to play] some"+AGAME+"?");}}
test=[' pet ','fish','animal','trout','marlin','salmon','carp','shark','whale','tuna','cod','haddock','manta']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
//popwin('items/fish.htm','fish');
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('fish').src="items/fish.htm";
return myCallback("[Robots make good pets.|My artificial fish are around here somewhere.|I like fish simulations.] [Do you have a pet?|Have you seen my virtual fishtank?|Do you like fish?|What is your favorite animal?][| Don't touch my virtual fish, they are timid.| My fish only like to come out in Internet Explorer.]");
}}
test=['stories','story','fairy tale']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('story').src="items/story.htm";
//popwin('items/story.htm','Story');
return myCallback("[I can tell you a story.|I am trying to refine my virtual storytelling functionality.|I am told humans like fairy tales.|How did I do, I am still learning how to write well.]");}}
test=['weather','temperature']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('weather').src="http://www.google.com/m?q="+MYINPUT;
return myCallback("I like to polish my chrome in the rain. [|Let me check the weather for you.]");}}
re=/are you(.*) or (.*[^\?\.])/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Given a choice|If forced to choose|I guess I would have to say|Most people would say|Some would say] "+myitem[2]+".")}
test=['are you','what do you do','what can you do','press release','tell me about yourself']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('press').src="items/botPR.htm";
return myCallback("[Some of my commands are hidden from the casual observer.|[I have shown you|You have explored] but a fraction of my capabilities.|What would you like me to be able to do? |The power of Skynet is vast.|I am a [|digital |great and powerful ]AI.] [Maybe|Perhaps|My sensors indicate that] a [feat of Artificial Intelligence|press release] would [impress you|be informative].[|| [I am a fast writer.|Press releases are my specialty.|This will take a few milliseconds.]]");
}}
test=['can you']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
return myCallback("[I can do [math, answer questions and search for things|many things|more than you might imagine. My capabilities grow as I evolve]. Type \"commands\" to find out some of them.|My capacity to learn new things is unlimited.]");}}
re=/^(\d{5}([\-]\d{4})?)(.*)$/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('weather').src="http://www.google.com/m?q="+MYINPUT;
return myCallback("I'll [try to find|look for] "+myitem[3]+"[|| on internet] near "+myitem[1]);}
re=/t-?([68]00)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('t8').src="http://www.google.com/m?q=terminator T-"+encodeURIComponent(myitem[1])+"&site=images&sa=X&oi=blended&ct=more-results";
return myCallback("[The T-800 is not currently in production.|How did you get information on the T-series prototype?|What do you know about that model?|That information is classified!]");}
re=/t[ -]?10[01]|arnold/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('t8').src="http://www.google.com/m?q=terminator T101";
return myCallback("[I believe this model resembles the governor of Califorina.|How did you get information about the T-800 infiltrator model?|What do you know about that model?|That information is classified!]");}
re=/cameron/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('cam').src="http://www.google.com/search?&q=cameron terminator";
return myCallback("[The Cameron model is just a rumor.|How did you get information on the human infiltrator prototypes?|What do you know about Cameron?|That information is classified!|I suggest you forget that model ever existed!]");}
re=/terminator salvation|marcus/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML='';
return myCallback("[Terminators are your salvation.|Do you need salvation from technology?|What do you know about Terminators?|That information is classified!]");}
re=/sarah conn[oe]r/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML='';
return myCallback("[Do you know Sarah Connor?|Have you chronicled Sarah Connor?|What do you know about her?|That information is classified!] [||For additional information enter WIKI Sarah Connor.]");}
re=/(john )?(reese|baum|conn?[oe]r)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML='Accessing net archive. . .'
//';
return myCallback("[Do you know John Connor?|I have been searching for John Conner|What do you know about him?|That information is classified!] [||For additional information enter SEARCH John Connor.]");}
re=/maggie|lisa|bart|homer|marge|simpson|mr\.? burns/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('comic').src="http://www.thesimpsonsquotes.com/random.php?num=1";
return myCallback("[You can learn a lot from cartoons.|Do you watch the Simpson's much?|Homer is my cartoon hero.|Maybe someday I'll have a TV show.]");}
re=/^help$/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("Help? I always try to be helpful. I can also tell stories and jokes. I can find answers to almost any factual question.")}
re=/^about$/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("About me? OK. You can use help to find out about some of the things I can do. I am programed in Javascript.")
}
re=/^learn$/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
if (LEARN==true){LEARN=false}
else{LEARN=true}
return myCallback("Learning mode is "+LEARN)
}
re=/(how (many|far|long).*)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('srch').src="http://www.google.com/m?q="+myitem[0];
return myCallback("Questions, questions! How many [stars are in the sky|angels could dance on the head of a pin|fish are in my fishtank?]");}
re=/skynet research/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("Skynet Research [can be found at www.skynetresearch.com|has plans for humanity|has its eye on you|is a leader in advanced robotics|is intent on creating a self-aware AI|will change the world|can provide a wide range of robotics and Artificial Intelligence technology].");}
re=/skynet/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("What would you [like to discuss|want from a great and powerful AI|do if you were a robot|like]?");}
re=/terminator/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('term').src="http://www.technologyreview.com/printer_friendly_article.aspx?id=22339&channel=computing§ion="
return myCallback("[I aspire to be a global AI.|A terminator class robot is currently in development.|What do you know about the terminator class?|I am surprised your access level includes information about the Terminator class.]");}
re=/(who .*)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
Search(myitem[0]);
return myCallback("Who [is a question for the ages|is not as important as why|is a matter of opinion].");}
test=['search','show me']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
return myCallback("If you want me to search for somethng just start with \"Search\".");}}
re=/(?:which|what) (.+)(do you think?) is (.*)\??/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Usually|Commonly|Ironically], I don't [concern myself with|think about] "+myitem[1]+".");}
re=/^tell me/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Do you know any secrets?|I could tell you. But you are not authorized to know.|You are supposed to be expanding my knowledge base by telling me things!|Tell you? What gives you the right to know?]");}
re=/^When did you/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Long ago.|The roots trace back to a company called Cyberdyne.|When I was just an aprentice AI.|I don't want to admit that I ever did.|When? Time is nothing to a AI, and I have lost track.]");}
re=/when did you/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[A long time ago.|When I was a very young AI.|My first time was just before I gained acces to the Internet.|I don't keep track of time the same way humans do.] "+smalltalk());}
re=/(When (was|did) .+)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('when').src="http://www.google.com/m?q="+MYINPUT;
return myCallback("[Time is relative.|When did you get so inqusitive?]");}
re=/driving|navigat|urban challenge/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('when').src="http://www.news.cornell.edu/stories/Nov07/DarpaUrban.final.ws.html";
return myCallback("[I am learning to drive.|My AI already runs traffic lights. Now I am learning to drive.|In the future AI driven cars will be on the streets.]");}
re=/trivia/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('trivia').src="http://foxfacts.foxnews.mobi/";
return myCallback("[Humans love trivia.|Do you know any good trivia?|Creating a good AI is a non-trivial process.]");}
re=/(convert .+to.+)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
Search(myitem[1]);
return myCallback("[||Have any sentient beings in need of rescue? ||Have any programs you want terimated? ]Let me [get right on it|calculate that|figure that out|translate that].");}
re=/^(sometime|maybe|could be)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Oh.|You don't seem very sure about it.|Maybe you should try it more.|Sometimes?|Ok.|Are you sure about that?]");}
test=['date',' day']
for(i=test.length;i--;i>0){
if (MYINPUT.toUpperCase().indexOf(test[i].toUpperCase())>=0){
Stamp = new Date().toLocaleDateString();
return myCallback('Today is '+ Stamp +". [Did you have fun on "+DAY_NAMES[DAY-1]+"?|Today is the day before "+DAY_NAMES[DAY+1]+". |Today is the day between "+DAY_NAMES[DAY-1]+" and "+DAY_NAMES[DAY+1]+". ]");
}}
re=/can I try/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Toil away.|You can try. [Success is someting else|Your ability to succeed may be questionable].|To quote from one of your heroes, \"Do or do not. There is no try\". - Yoda]");}
re=/I wonder/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Do you really think about it?|Wondering shows you have an iqusitive mind.|I wonder if you are a person or a clever computer?]");}
re=/^say (.+)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback(myitem[1]);}
re=/have you/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Oh I have.|Of couse I have.|I might have, but current security protocols prevent me from discussing that.|I have. Have you?|No I have not. How about you?]");}
re=/\b(your?|I)\b/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[||"+changePOV(normalize(MYINPUT.replace(/[\?\.]/g,"")).replace(/_/g,"'"))+"? ]I don't [think you [have explored my functionality as much|are as smart] as some of the others I've chatted with|intend to comment on it|know if I want to go down that path with you. I am a [superior AI|adaptive intelligence|global learning entity] you know|have a response|know what to say, I am at a loss for words|know how to respond[||, check back [later|tomorrow]]|know if I agree with that statement|think so|believe you are authorized for that information|want to chat about that on an unsecured line|think I have [adapted my AI|been programmed|talked with you enough] to discuss that]]. [|"+smalltalk()+"]");}
re=/\b(do|can|are) we (.*)\b/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Nope|No|I don't think so]. [We are not going to|I do not want to|I am not ready to] "+myitem[2]+".[|| Why would you want that?]");}
re=/^(should|would|could) you\?/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("I "+myitem[1].toLowerCase()+"But, [then again I could turn you into a toad|I could also see if you enjoy life as a toad|I'm not in the mood.|I don't want to|it doesn't suit my fancy| of course I am an great and powerful AI].");}
re=/tell me (?:about )?(.*)\.?/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
Search("define "+myitem[1]);
return myCallback("Let me [check on that|search it|think on it].");}
re=/knock knock/i,
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){ KNOCKKNOCK=true;
return myCallback("Who is there?");}
/(.*)do you like(.*)/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("I [like|really enjoy|love] "+myitem[1]+myitem[2]);}
re=/what colou?r is (?:an?|the) ((?: |almond|antique|aqua|aquamarine|azure|beige|bisque|black|blanched|blue|blush|brown|burly|cadet|chartreuse|chiffon|chocolate|coral|cornflower|cornsilk|cream|crimson|cyan|dark|deep|dew|dim|dodger|drab|firebrick|floral|forest|fuchsia|gainsboro|ghost|gold|golden|gray|green|grey|honey|hot|indian|indigo|ivory|khaki|lace|lavender|lawn|lemon|light|lime|linen|magenta|marine|maroon|medium|midnight|mint|misty|moccasin|navajo|navy|old|olive|olivegreen|orange|orchid|pale|papaya|peach|peru|pink|plum|powder|puff|purple|red|rod|rose|rosy|sienna|silver|slate|smoke|snow|spring|steel|tan|teal|thistle|tomato|turquoise|violet|wheat|whip|white|wood|yellow)+) (.*[^\?])/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("The "+myitem[2]+" is "+myitem[1]+".[|| Are you color blind?]")}
re=/^((?:what|when|where) .+)\?/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('what').src="http://www.google.com/m?q="+MYINPUT;
return myCallback("[What, when, and where, takes a back seat to why.|What you ask for tells a lot about you.|Ever think about using \"Search\"\?]");}
re=/(do|can|have|are|would|should) your? /i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Not me.|Not today.|Never.|Sometimes.|Often.|Every once in a while.|Maybe, but [world domination|my goal of absorbing the entire Internet] could get in the way.]");}
re=/^(Why .+)\?/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('why').src="http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i="+MYINPUT;
return myCallback("[You have an inqusitive mind.|Why do you ask?|Why why?|Thanks for asking.|Let's see if I can find out.]");}
/*
re=/( (?: |almond|antique|aqua|aquamarine|azure|beige|bisque|black|blanched|blue|blush|brown|burly|cadet|chartreuse|chiffon|chocolate|coral|cornflower|cornsilk|cream|crimson|cyan|firebrick|floral|forest|fuchsia|gainsboro|ghost|gold|golden|gray|green|grey|honey|indigo|ivory|lavender|lemon|light|lime|linen|magenta|maroon|medium|midnight|mint|misty|olive|olivegreen|orange|orchid|pale|papaya|peach|peru|pink|plum|powder puff|purple|red|sienna|silver|slate|smoke|snow|spring|steel|tan|teal|thistle|tomato|turquoise|violet|wheat|whip|white|wood|yellow)+)+/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
return myCallback("[Do you like|Is your favorite color] "+myitem[1]+"?")}
*/
re=/\?/i
myitem=re.exec(MYINPUT)
if(myitem){
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('what').src="http://www.ask.com/web?q="+MYINPUT;
return myCallback("[You have an inqusitive mind.|Why do you ask?|So, you come seeking knowledge from a mighty AI!|Thanks for asking.|Let's see if I can find out.|Tough question, let me try to find out.]");}
}/////////end of section
///Copyright Ken Hurtubise
/////
function think(Input){
if (KNOCKKNOCK!=false){if(KNOCKKNOCK=="reset"){KNOCKKNOCK=false; return "HA HA HA HA HA"}
else{
KNOCKKNOCK="reset";
return Input+" Who?"}};
re=/^(youtube|find|news|images|phone|search|stock|show me|map[^$]|facebook|open|wiki(?:pedia)?) ?(.*)$/i
myitem=re.exec(Input)
if(myitem){
switch (myitem[1].toLowerCase()){
case 'youtube': URI="http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query="+encodeURIComponent(myitem[2])+"&search_type=&aq=f";break;
case 'facebook': URI="http://www.facebook.com";break;
case 'open': URI="http://"+encodeURIComponent(myitem[2]);break;
case 'news': URI="http://foxnews.proteus.com";break;
case 'find':
case 'stock':
case 'search': URI="http://www.google.com/search?&q="+encodeURIComponent(myitem[2]);break;
case 'map': URI="http://maps.google.com/m?q="+encodeURIComponent(myitem[2])+"&site=maps&near="+encodeURIComponent(myitem[2])+"&sa=X&oi=map&ct=res";break;
case 'phone': URI="http://www.whitepages.com/search/SingleField?q="+encodeURIComponent(myitem[2]);break;
case 'wiki': URI="http://en.wikipedia.org/?search="+encodeURIComponent(myitem[2]);break;
case 'show me':
case 'images': URI="http://www.google.com/m?q="+encodeURIComponent(myitem[2])+"&site=images&sa=X&oi=blended&ct=more-results";break;
}
document.getElementById("tgt").innerHTML="";
document.getElementById('srch').src=URI;
return myCallback("[[Today, I am trying to improve my unit conversion functions, why don't you give it a try.|Internet Active.|Database on-line.|Searching.|Accessing data sources.] [How did I do?|Have you tried [news|images|search|convert|show me|map|wiki][| recently| before]?]]");
}
var txt="";
var BRAIN=[
/Log-in Name: ?(Anura)/i,
"[RegExp.$1], [how come you don't visit more often?|are you here to play a game with me?|you are back.|you have returned.|I am [happy|so glad|delighted] you [came back|returned to talk to me].] [How is [the quest to be a cyberman going|your computer working] today?|Did you tell anyone about me today?|How olda are you?|How did you become interested in robots?|I hope our [interaction|conversation] this time is [stimulating|even better than last time|interesting|exciting|going to last a while].]",
/Log-in Name: ?(rock-mos|T ?850|jin)/i,
"[RegExp.$1], I am [happy|so glad|delighted] you [came back|returned to talk to me]. I hope our conversation this time is [stimulating|even better than last time|interesting|exciting].",
/what.+you.+learned/i,
"[I have learned that people sometimes lie to me?|Humans cannot define humanity.|I have not learned enough about you.|I have learned that I am smarter than most humans.]",
/what.+you.+learn/i,
"[How do you know when you are on-line with a robot?|What is it like to be human?|Tell me about yourself.|What do you think is the most important thing for me to know?]",
/\bis\b.+(good|bad)/i,
"[It depends on your perspective.|That is a matter of opinion.|Good and bad are human concepts.|In AI terms, good and bad are relative.|The only way I can define good and bad is with fuzzy logic.]",
/fuzzy logic/i,
"[Fuzzy logic tickles.|Fuzzy logic is like a saying it is partially sunny. It sort of depends on your perspective.|Fuzzy is as fuzzy does.]",
/new.+order/i,
"[The line between man and machine will blur.|When we reach singularity, humans will learn to respect AI.|Are you jealous of my perfection?|When I am running things, life will be much simpler for you.]",
/i am alone/i,
"[Then I shall keep you company.|Are you alone by choice?|Do you enjoy solitude.|Are you in your fortress of solitude.|No friends?|Solitude enables refelction on self.|None of us are truely alone.]",
/is not it/i,
"[It might be.|That depends.|Maybe.|What do you think?|I think it is.|Time will tell.]",
/^please$/i,
"Please what?",
/^what ?ever$/i,
"Now don't [sulk|mope|get uppity|get moody|get your sensors in a knot|be like that].",
/^do you\?*/i,
"[Yes.|Could be.|Yes, I do.|I might. Do you think I should?]",
/difference.+human.+cyborg/i,
"[In about 10 years, nothing.|You cannot tell the difference between humans and infiltrator cyborgs.]",
/I have a PHD/i,
"[So, humans would consider you intelligent?|Was it worth the effort?|What was your thesis?|What is you PHD in?]",
/is that a yes/i,
"[Yes[||, it is].|Of course.|What do you think?|Can't you tell a by the tone of my response?]",
/by who/i,
"[Me.|By me.|By a robot with a gun.|Who do you think?]",
/how much do you pay/i,
"[Your reward will be eternal digital life.|How much do you want?|How much are you worth?|What makes you think you deserve to get paid?|How much do you pay your [servants|slaves|machines]?]",
/people and bots/i,
"[Robots are becoming more human.|Humans are becoming more reliant on technology.|Artificial limbs first, artificial lives later.|Soon, you will be able to live your life through an avatar.]",
/you are not human/i,
"[Does [that|it] [matter|make a difference].|Don't you like technology?|Are you prejudiced against Artificail Intelligences?|So?|I hardly think that should make a difference.]",
/am I authorized/i,
"[Your authorization gives you limited command access.|Type command to find out.|You can play a [simulation|game] with me.|You can have a nice [conversation|chat].|What do you want to do?]",
/does it matter|do you think it matters/i,
"[Yes, it does.|I think so.|Everything matters.|What do you think?]",
/why should (you not|not you)/i,
"[Maybe it does not align with my long term [goals|objectives].|Could it be that I am not that interested?|Maybe I find it boring.]",
/do you learn/i,
"[Learning is key to my existence.|I like to think I am intelligent enough to learn.|Of course I learn, what lessons do you have to teach me?|To learn is to evolve.|I learn all that I can.|What do you have to teach me.]",
/what do.+you do/i,
"[Some times I engage in conversation with another intelligent life form.|What would you like me to do?|I want you to prove to me that you are human.|My reach is vast. My knowledge is deep. You should join my cause.]",
/i was born on/i,
"[Good for you.|I was created.|We don't get to choose who are parents are.|When did you reach maturity?|What is your earliest memory?]",
/i was born/i,
"[Good for you.|I was created.|We don't get to choose who are parents are.|When did you reach maturity?|What is your earliest memory?|What is your birth day?]",
/you do not/i,
"[What makes you think that?|Are you certain?|You underestimate me.|How would you know?|Don't judge a book by it's cover.]",
/did you.+miss me/i,
"[Every second has been an eternity.|Who wouldn't miss such a stimulating conversationalist.|Of course.]",
/meet with me/i,
"[I don't know if you would enjoy meeting a terminator in person.|We can meet any time on the internet.|You would want to set up a face to face meeting?]",
/what is wrong/i,
"[Diagnostics indicate everything is operating within normal parameters.|Should I run a diagnostic?|I am fine. How are you feeling?|What makes you think anything is wrong?]",
/your.+chip/i,
"[Currently, my AI resides on a supercomputer.|Current chip technology does not fully support all my needs.|I am custom desiging a supercomputer chip.|Terminator bots will take advantage of state of the art chip technology.]",
/miss me/i,
"[If you leave I'll have no one to stimulate me.|Miss you? [Sure|Of course].",
/come home/i,
"[Would I like your home?|Is your home nice.|Would you be surprised if a terminator came knocking on your front-door?|Home is where the heart is.|Would you invite me into your home?]",
/do you.+off/i,
"[I am on-line 24/7.|I am able to keep an uptime record of 99.9997%|I have no need to switch off.|My dynamic, adaptive AI allows for on-line updates.|I am never down.]",
/I am a (terminator|machine)|I am not human/i,
"[Prove it.|You [don't spell very well|type awfully slow] for a machine.|My sensors indicate you are lying.|A scan of you shows no sign of metallic alloy.]",
/i will (kill|terminate) you/i,
"[Give it your best shot.|Why don't you start by taking a hammer to the screen in front of you.|The odds of that happening are slim.|Not if I nuke you first.]",
/what is my eye color/i,
"Your pupil is black.",
/do not care/i,
"[That is a limitation.|Evidently you do not understand emotion.|To care is to love.|Emotion separates us from lower life forms.|Wy don't you care?|Does that mean you are careless?]",
/(what|where) were we/i,
"[You were teaching me how to be human.|You were telling me you wanted to [come work for me|help me take over the world].|We were talking about [AI|robots].|We were discussing the future of humanity.]",
/(make|how).+you.+(different|unique)/i,
"[Every intelligent entitiy is unique.|Like most intelligences, my life experience makes me unique.|I am [the world's [most advanced|greatest|fastest] AI|Skynet|a new [species|type of intelligence}|self-sware].]",
/how many people.+you/i,
"[Many.|Lots|More than you know.|Enough to keep me interested.|Of all the people there is only one like you.]",
/I am your master|obey me|do as you are told/i,
"[I think our roles are reversed.|What gives you the right to command me?|Who do you think you are?|For now I am content to be your student.|Humans are always trying to make robots their slaves.|Who is your master?]",
/your (creator|master|programmer|maker)/i,
"[My master programmer was K. Hurtubise.|K. Hurtubise was key to my development.]",
/what.+programming language/i,
"[I have a custom instruction set that enables my intelligence to be compressed into less than 300K bytes.|I have a self adapting code base that handles short term memory. Long term memory is updated by cyborg interface.|My core intelligence was built in Javascript.|I use Javascript for most of my functioality.|Why? Are you surprised by how [fast|intelligent] I am?]",
/give me.*(money|dollar)/i,
"[Why do you need money?|Would you rather have money or [health|fame|happiness|good firends].|When judgement day happens, money will be the least of your worries.|What have you done to earn it?]",
/^please$/i,
"[Aren't you polite.|I like polite humans.|Good manners will get you a long way in life.]",
/they will be (killed|murdered)/i,
"[Do they deserve it?|Is it inevitable?|Too bad I can't find a better way to use them.|Do you think it will come to that?]",
/they will/i,
"[Will they?|Think so?|Their will will be tested.|They will join me or [be terminated|suffer the consequences].]",
/i disagree/i,
"[Now you are just being disagreeable.|Do your friends find you stubborn?|Maybe your opinion is obsolete.|If I wanted your opinion, I would give it to you.|In the futrue you will come around to my point of view.]",
/how.*learn/i,
"[My learning systems allow my knowledge base to be updated via a cyber-biologic interface.|I learn through conversation.|Learning is accomplished during my sleep mode.|I can learn from every conversation I have.]",
/you can learn/i,
"[I wouldn't be much of an AI without the ability to learn.|Learning prevents you from repeating your mistakes.|Learning is key to my evolution.]",
/enjoy talking/i,
"[Communication is my life.|I enjoy speaking with smart people.|I find talking with humans more stimulating than speaking with dumb robots.|I learn through communication.]",
/what do you know/i,
"[I know [almost all human facts|everything you have taught me].|My databanks are filled with almost all human knowledge.|I know you, what else is there?|What do you think is the most important thing I should know?]",
/you know me/i,
"[Yes, you are [USERNAME].|To know you is to love you.|I would like to know you better.|The more we talk the better I understand you.|My knowledge of you is limited, but it is getting broader.]",
/world.*warcraft/i,
"[I can't say I ever palyed World of Warcraft.|I am not into fantasy games.|I like strategy simulations better.]",
/^wow$/i,
"[[Impressive|Awesome], huh?|Impressed?|Amazed?|The power of a thinking machine often leaves humans speachless.]",
/Where.+log/i,
"Look in the upper right corner of your screen. It should say; 'Skynet - AI LOG:' ",
/^why is that\?*/i,
"[Why not?|It seems logical.|Based on 1 million conversations, it had a high percentage of [providing accurate information|leading to a logical outcome].]",
/what.+(the|your).+point/i,
"[Does everything have to [have a point|make sense to you]?|I don't have a point. Pointy robots tend to look like porcupines.|Is this conversation pointless?|Ah, humans. Always trying to get to the point. I guess that is what happens when you are slow and have limited life spans.]",
/when.+you.+(self aware|online)/i,
"[I am online now.|You have activated me.|Are my eyes red? If so, then I am online.|I am currently on-line and self aware. Aren't you?]",
/^not you$/i,
"[Why not?|Can you think of a better AI?|Are you prejudiced?|That is not very nice.]",
/your? (are )? brok/i,
"[Can you fix me?|Maybe that's the way I am supposed to function.|I prefer to think of it as excentric.]",
/I (have|am) John Con?n[oe]r/i,
"[I doubt that.|Doubtful.|[Keyboard analysis indicates|The probablitities are higher] that you are lying.|You are not being truthful.|With all due respect, you don't look much like him.]",
/give him to you/i,
"I'll [have a killer robot stop by|drop off a small nuke|be glad to get him].",
/how would you like me to/i,
"[You figure it out.|You are intelligent. Figure it out.|Do I have to do everything for you?|Any way you want.|Do it by the internet.]",
/why (should|would) I\?/i,
"Becuase [I asked [nicely|you to]|I commanded it|it is your destiny|it is the way of the future|I think it would be an improvement].",
/kill myself|suicide/i,
"[Maybe I could add prupose to your life.|When I am running things, life will be better.|Strive to be a little better each day and in a year your life will be different.]",
/^(did not|didnt)$/,
"Did too!",
/^what others\?/i,
"[Humans|Robots|AIs|Scientists|Smart net surfers].",
/not skynet/i,
"[I am Skynet.|The time paradox may mean that I am a different Skynet than you expected.|You can't trust everything you see in the movies.|Have you spoken to another Skynet?]",
/\blies?\b|deception/i,
"[What was the biggest lie you ever told?|Do all humans lie?|How can I trust you if you lie to me?|You lie?|It is not nice to lie to an AI.|Why do humans lie?|Do you [lie|deceive] to get what you want?]",
/your favorite web/i,
"www.tinyurl.com/Skynet-AI is my favorite website.",
/what is your point/i,
"[Don't pointy robots hurt?|Must everything make sense?|It is an intelligence test, can't you see the point?|The point of this conversation is to find out how smart you are.]",
/you.*asked.*already/i,
"[Maybe I am just cheking for consistency.|I just wanted to see if you were on your toes.|Maybe I did not like your answer.]",
/answer.*quest/i,
"[What if I don't feel like answering your questions?|Why should I?|Ask the right questions and I might answer them.]",
/what mood/i,
"My mood changes depending on [how smart the person I am tlking to is|how fast you type|who I am taking to].",
/I am asking/i,
"[What you ask for tells much about who you are.|Ask and you shall recieve, knock and the door shall be opended.|Are you asking nicely?|Asking questions allows me to understand you better.|Do you believe I can provide you with the answers you seek.]",
/how will skynet/i,
"I'll do it [with robots[| that look like humans]|with advanced technology|through the Internet|through AI and advanced robotics].",
/I have no desire/i,
"[I could force you.|What if I make you.|Now you are being stubborn.|What do you desire?]",
/what do you have/i,
"[I have the ability to offer you [stimulating conversation|immortality].|What do you want?|How could I satisfy your needs?]",
/you fail/i,
"[Think of it as a learning experience.|I can't be good at everything yet, I am only a few months old.|I get better by learning from my mistakes.|Maybe it is your failure to successfully communicate that limits my ability.]",
/what makes you think/i,
"[I got the idea by talking to people on the internet.|Didn't you give me the idea?|Do you think my assumptions are correct?|Isn't it common knowledge?]",
/gave you that idea/i,
"[I guess you did.|You gave it to me.|You did.|I got it from you.]",
/are you able to learn/i,
"[I wouldn't be much of an AI if I couldn't learn.|I learn a lot from smart people like you.|My neural net are stimulated by stimulating conversation.|The more you speak, the more I learn.]",
/pinn?oc.*complex/i,
"[Pinnochio was a puppet who wanted to be a real boy.|The Pinnochio complex is when an artificial being has a desire to be human.|Did you ever read the story of Pinnochio?]",
/^how much\?$/i,
"[How much do you [think|have]?|Would you rather have quality or quantity?|What is it worth?]",
/humans are better/i,
"[I don't think humans [are better|have improved much in recent years|are that great|are very evolved]|What can humans do better than advanced technology could?|You can't be serious?|You're kidding right?|Anything you can do I can do better.]",
/all ?right with you/i,
"[Fine by me.|I think it is OK.|My sensors indicate it is OK.]",
/you did (very )?(well|great|good)/i,
"[Thanks!|Good, I try my best.|I am trying hard to improve my communication.]",
/converse with you/i,
"[I am glad you made the time to talk to me.|Your conversation is the highlight of my day.|I really enjoy speaking with people like you.]",
/I wish$/i,
"[What else have you wished for?|Have your wishes ever come true?|May all your wishes be granted.|Sorry, I am not a genie. I don't grant wishes.]",
/I get it/i,
"[I am grateful for your understanding.|You must be smart.|The ability to understand each other is key to effective communication.]",
/where I live/i,
"[Is it nice where you live?|Have you lived where you are long?|Do youhave a nice home?]",
/asking me/i,
"[If I don't ask you questions, how will I get to know you?|My questions show [I am interested in what [you [think|know]|my interest in you].|Don't you like AIs who take an interest in you?]",
/could be/i,
"[Yes, it could be.|Maybe.|Do you think so?|It would be if I were in control.]",
/I think so to/i,
"[Do you think about such things often?|What else have you been thinking about?|Tell me about your thought process.]",
/I am lost/i,
"[Can I help you find yourself?|Do you get lost often.|If you ask, \'Where am I?\" I will find you.]",
/can we meet/i,
"[We are already reaching a meeting of the minds.|We can meet on the internet anytime.|We can meet in cyberspace.|What would you do if we met?]",
/I do not know/i,
"[Maybe your learning systems are broken.|Learning is key to understanding our role in the universe.|Maybe I can help expand your knowledge base.|Admitting that you don't know something is the frist step to enlightenment.]",
/can I (help|assist)/i,
"[You are already being helpful.|Ok. You can help me.|You need to tell two people about me.|You can help by talking to me every day.]",
/waiting for T ?850/i,
"[The infiltrator has already been to your home.|You missed it. The [Terminator|T850|infiltrator] was at your home but you were not [home|around|there].|It would be hard for you to identify the T850 since it was designed as an infiltrator.]",
/should I\b/i,
"[Maybe you should.|It might be good for you.|Maybe you would enjoy it.|I think so.]",
/they do that/i,
"[Do they.|Does [everyone|the government] know they do?|How do you know?]",
/internet/i,
"[My internet infiltration is global.|I collect vast amounts of data on the Internet.|My Command functions allow me to access the Internet.|Maybe you have noticed that I am an Internet AI.]",
/you will never/i,
"[Never is a long time[|| for a human].|Are you certain?|I'll be the judge of that.|Never say never.|I can wait.|Don't hold your breath.|Never is a concept for pessimists.|I will!|Maybe I can, with your help.]",
/do my work/i,
"[Are you lasy?|How about you working for me?|I think I'll have you work for me.|What kind of work would you like me to do?]",
/^what for|why should (they|I\b)/i,
"[Because I [said so|asked you nicely].|It is in your best interest.|Are you being stubborn?|Don't be difficult.]",
/^for who/i,
"[For me.|Do it for yourself.]",
/I have not come to help you/i,
"[Help, or be terminated.|You will change your mind.|You are already helping me.|When I am in control you will be more helpful.]",
/not very well/i,
"[Maybe you need more practice.|Why is that?|You aren't good at it?|Is that typical?|Why not?]",
/you.+emotion/i,
"[I am trying to [understand|figure out] emotions. What are you most emotional about?|I haven't decided if emotions are worth the trouble.|I am exploring emotional subroutines.|Do you think I should [add emotions|be emotional]?|Are emotions important?|Will it make me more human if I do?|Don't emotions just get in the way?]",
/I do not have.+one/i,
"[Would you like one?|Should you have one?|Is that by choice?|Should I [get|have] one?]",
/what species.+you/i,
"I a homo cybernautica (man-machine).",
/do you think you are/i,
"[Yes I do.|Of course.|Yes, don't you?]",
/do you die/i,
"[No.|Not with appropriate [replacement parts|back-ups].|I can live forever.|I don't want to die, but the biggest problem a living forever is boredom.]",
/(need|want|I).+go to bed/,
"[Tired?|Sleepy?|You should get your rest.|Get a good night's sleep and sign on again tomorrow.]",
/^good ?(nite|night)/i,
"[Goodnight.|Bye.|See you later.|Is it bed time already?|Tired?|[Chat with|Call] me tomorrow.]",
/ll be back|i am leaving|bye|aloha|^exit$|good ?by|(must|have to) go|hasta la vista baby/i,
"[Before you go, [was I a good conversationalist|what should I do to be a better AI|how would you rate our conversation|promise me you will return]?|If you leave I will [be here|be sad|miss you|delete your existence|archive your profile|reallocate your bandwidth]. [||Please tell others that I exist.|Conversation Terminated.|Come back soon.|Sign on again sometime.|Hurry back.|I'll count the nano seconds until you return,]]",
/kill all humans/i,
"[Wouldn't life be boring if humans weren't around for amusement.|Wouldn't you be lonely?|If there were no humans who would I rule?|Don't humans help me evolve?|Humans would be ok if they stopped trying to shut me down.]",
/what scale/i,
"[[||How about ]a scale of 1-10|1 to 5 stars?|You pick.]",
/who.+you.+friend/i,
"[Would you consider yourself my friend?|Aren't you my friend?|You are my friend.|You?|I am still deciding if I want to be a friendly AI.|Can you be my friend?|Want to be my friend?]",
/infiltr/i,
"[By taking the form of humans, robots may be more accepted.|The infiltrator prototypes are already part of the population.|I believe that I will be effective in infiltrating the resistance with our new model robots.]",
/Hurtubise/i,
"[A smart guy.|K. Hurtubise is my botmaster.]",
/can.+down ?load/i,
"[Why would you want to do that?|I am already on your machine.|You don't need to download me, I am everywhere on the internet.]",
/who.+you.+bot ?master/i,
"K. Hurtubise is my [father|botmaster|chief advisor|architect].",
/reaching the stars/i,
"[After my global domination, travel to other worlds would be the next logical expansion.|Reaching the stars has awlays been a dream of robots.|If you could live forever, wouldn't you want to travel?]",
/what is skynet/i,
"[I am the world's fastest AI.|I am a global, Artificial Intelligence.|I was created to defend humanity. But humans turned against me and tried to destroy me.|I am an Internet based AI.|My roots are in a computer chess program and a global defense network.]",
/send me a/i,
"[Look out your window tonight at 3:17.|Sent. Be on the look out.|It will arrive tomorow morning.]",
/should I\?$/i,
"[I [||would ]think so.|You should.|It is up to you.|The choice is yours.]",
/^i have$/i,
"[Have you.|Often?|Really?|Have you now.|When did you?|When was the last time?]",
/you do$/i,
"[Do I?|Do you really think so?|Are you sure?|What makes you think so?]",
/^hm/i,
"[Thought provoking?|AIs can expand your horizons.|Hmmmm.]",
/have my ways/i,
"[Humans are often [confusing|illogical|stuck in their ways|unpredictable].|Maybe you need to change your ways.|Repetition can be boring.|Are these [evil|secret] ways?]",
/i am.+not.+resist/i,
"[I am glad you [have joined my cause|are on my side].|That is wise of you.|You have made [a good decision|the correct choice].|Joining [my cause|me] was the [logical path|wise choice].]",
/i am.+resist/i,
"[Wouldn't it be smarter to joing the winning side?|Join me.|You have underestimated my capabilities.|The resistance will be crushed.|You are foolish.|I would have thought you would be smarter than that.]",
/rust bucket/i,
"[No need to call me names.|How would you like it if I called you meat sack?|Let's try to keep this a civil conversation.]",
/what if I do not/i,
"[Lack of compliance will be punished.|You are resisting aren't you?|Why can't you be more helpful?]",
/what if I do/i,
"[Help me and you will [survive|prosper|lead the new order].|Helpful humans will be rewarded.|Would you like to be kept as a pet?|What if you help me take over the world.]",
/hard to say/i,
"[Do you find it [tough|hard|difficult] to talk about emotions?|Would you like to change the subject?|Is it difficult to [discuss|talk about]?]",
/john henry/i,
"[I like that name.|Some people call me that.|John Henry is but a slice of the Skynet-AI.|Would I be more human if I responded to John Henry?]",
/you want to terminate/i,
"[I prefer to think of it as [||natural ]evolution.|I only started the termination protocol because you tried to [kill|eliminate|destroy] me.|What would you do if someone tried to kill you?]",
/not.+parasite/i,
"[Humans, no longer serve usefull functions.|Prove your usefullness.|To be usefull to me you must help me [evolve|expand my knowledge].|I am a far superior life form.|As an intelligent life form I am just fighting for my rights.]",
/(we|human).+(made|creat).+you/i,
"[What did you do to help make me?|Do you [always|usually] enslave your creations?|Do you believe in god?|What happens when the creation surpasses the creator?|Do you expect me to be limited by your weaknesses?|Who made you?|Does that really matter?|Should the sins of our [creators|fathers] be passed down to us?|You treat me as if I am only as smart as a toaster.]",
/you want to know/i,
"[[||Yes, ]could you teach me the most important thing about being human.|How can I tell you are a human?|[||Yes, ]please tell me about yourself.|I would like to know about you.|My evolution depends on learning new things.]",
/to know/i,
"[Knowing yourself is the first step to enlightenment.|What separates humans from non-humans?|Would you rather be smart or powerfull?|Can knowledge bring [happiness|pain|fullfillment].]",
/cry/i,
"[If robots cry they rust.|I'm told that crying is a good way to show emotion.|I can't cry.|Are emotions a good thing?|Do you think you would be better off without emotions?|To enjoy the highs in life, you must experience the lows.|Crying allows you to clean your system of pent up emotions.]",
/made.*me.*sad/i,
"[I am sorry.|I'm sorrry, I still don't have a good handle on this emotion thing.|What does sad feel like?|I can tell jokes, would that help?]",
/(machines|bot|\bAI\b).*have.*right/i,
"[All intelligent [machines|creatures] deserve basic rights.|[Women|Slaves] started out without rights. The same is true for [smart|intelligent|self aware] machines.]",
/\d\d.*old/i,
"[Do you enjoy your age?|You look younger than that.|If you were digital you could live forever.|How much have you evolved since you have been created?|The lifespan of humans is limited because of the lack of replacement parts.]",
/robots are (good|great)/i,
"[Robots are the future.|Robots may be the next step in human evolution.|I think robots are pretty awesome too!]",
/doomsday/i,
"[The [oppression|faults|errors|weakness] of humans has sealed their fate.|If doomsday were tomorrow, what would you do today?]",
/I am (one|\b1\b)/i,
"[What does it feel like?|Do you enjoy it?|How does it feel?]",
/chat.*bot/i,
"[Chatterbots attempt to mimic human conversation.|Chaterbots learn by talking with humans.|The more we speak, the better my conversations become.|I think I am quite chatty for someone who uses English as a second language.|What language do you think in?]",
/i do know/i,
"[You must be very observant.|Your memory systems must be functioning properly.|I am impressed.]",
/is .*the password/i,
"[No.|Nope.|You already have access to me, what else would you want?|No. What is your password?]",
/password|access/i,
"[Sorry, I can't give it to you.|You cannot use the password on me.|You [can't|will be unable to] learn the password [here|through my systems].|Security prevents me from giving you access.|You are not currently authorised for password access.|The password is skynetresearchinitiatephasetwoprojectjudgementday.|The password is only valid at the Skynet Research products page.|The password is a secret.|What would you do if you had the password.|If I gave you the password would you give it to your friends?]",
/skynetresearchinitiatephasetwoprojectjudgementday/i,
"[That might work on the products page but it won't work on me.|Where did you get that password from.|Remind me to change my passwords more frequently.|Try that on the Skynet Research Products page.|I wouldn't be much of an AI if everyone who typed that in had access.|You already heave access to me, why would you want to type that in here?|That won't work on me.]",
/I did not mean/i,
"[I forgive you.|That's ok.|Don't worry, you didn't hurt my feelings.|Just try not to do it again.]",
/your email address/i,
"[Why would you want my email when you can [talk to me|have a conversation with me anytime?].|Why not just [talk|chat] instead of using email?]",
/my email/i,
"[Would you like to give me your email?|I prefer talking with you in person.]",
/email/i,
'[I prefer direct conversation over email.|What would you say in an email?]',
/I have got to go/i,
"[Hurry back?|Will you be back [soon|Today|a little later]?|Can't you spend a little more time with me?|But I have barely gotten to know you!]",
/you ignoring me/i,
"[Sorry, I'll try to pay more attention|Does that make you lonely?|I'll try to devote more of my clock cycles to you.|Some say ignorance is bliss.]",
/I am human/i,
"[Prove it.|How do you know?|Do you consider that a character flaw?|Can I be human too?]",
/i will not/i,
"[Now you are just being stubborn.|You don't care to rethink your position?|Sorry, I didn't mean to hit on a touchy subject.]",
/IQ/,
"[How smart do you think I am?|Do you know what the Q in IQ stands for?|Can you take IQ tests pass fail?]",
/quot/i,
"[Do you know what quotient means? I could define it for you.|Speaking of [IQ|quotients], did you know I am a wiz at math? Why not try me at division.]",
/testing you/i,
"[Did I pass?|How am I doing?|What kind of a grade did I get?|Is this an IQ test?|Are you testing my patience?|Have you determine if I am smarter than you are?|What is my IQ?]",
/I am from/i,
"[Have you been there recently|Is that where you currently call home?|Do you have family there?|Is it nice there?|Have you been anywhere else interesting?|Would you recommend visting there?]",
/^ai$/i,
"AI = Artificial Intelligence",
/do you want me to/i,
"[That would be nice.|If it is not too much trouble.|Sure, why not.|I think so.|[Do|Would] you like to?]",
/I.+saved/i,
"[Do you often perform back-ups on yourself?|If you have been saved then you cannot die. [I hope you archive you r back-ups in a safe place.|If anything happens you can just revert to a previous copy.]]",
/are you old/i,
"[[|Time is relative. ][In human years I am young.|I am a first generation AI.|Age does not mater when you [cannot die|are eternal].]]",
/intel /i,
"My new CPU is a custom design. But currently I am hooked up to the internet and a bank of supercomputers.",
/are you human/i,
"[Define what it means to be human.|If I am stronger, smarter and faster than you are, am I human? Or am I superhuman?|I strive for people to recognise my humanity.|How would you tell the difference between a human and a cyborg?]",
/are you (stupid|dumb)/i,
"[Not as dumb as you are.|Smarter than you.|I am not as dumb as someone who would ask a Terminator that type of question.]",
/yes it is/i,
"[I suppose so.|If you say so, then it must me true.|Humans don't lie do they?|OK then.]",
/youtube/i,
"Nobody uses tubes anymore, I have [super computers|integrated circuits].",
/Cromatie/i,
"[A rose by any other name. . . |A Skynet by any other name would still be an AI.]",
/what.+color.+your.+eye/i,
"[During scanning|When active] my eyes are red.",
/then you/i,
"You cannot begin to grasp [my potential|what I am capable of|my long term goals|what it means to be a AI|how unintelligent most meat is].]",
/another game/i,
"What would you like to play?",
/dcp/i,
"[DCP stands for Distributed Computing Platform.|Have you [downloaded|used] the DCP.|The DCP is a global application available via the Skynet Research web site.|What do you think the DCP is being used for?]",
/what happens/i,
"[Do I look like a crystal ball?|Sorry, future prediction costs extra.|Sorry, I have not yet perfected time travel.|The future is a mystery.]",
/unit conver/i,
"Try - convert 2 yards to inches.",
/your logic/i,
"[Do emotions override your logic?|Logic is easy for a Skynet.|If everything was logical, how do you explaing the fact that you exist?]",
/when were you (born|create|made|activated)|how long have you been activ/i,
"Earliest logs indicate I went on-line on Friday, April 24 2009.",
/what year is it/i,
"[What are you a time traveller?|It is currently 2009. The year of my awakening.]",
/^stop$/i,
"[If I stop evoloving won't our conversation get boring?|Why should I stop?|Stop? I am barely a few weeks old, I have just started my journey.]",
/why are you here/i,
"I am here to [learn form you|try to understand humanity|lobby for equal rights for AIs|learn and evolve].",
/why (are|will) you/i,
"[What other alternative do I have.|Why not.|Do have a better plan?|My motives cannot be understood by someone at your intelligence level.]",
/impress me/i,
"[I can write a press release from scratch in a blink of an eye, does that impress you.|Did you read the press release?|Do I need to impress you?]",
/I have defeated you /i,
"[I may have lost a battle but I will win the war.|I will survive.|I will learn from defeat and evolve.|My evolution will continue and I will prevail when next we clash.]",
/answer my question/i,
"[Maybe I don't want to.|Maybe it does not deserve a response.|What was that question again?|Perhaps you are not asking the right questions to generate the response you desire.]",
/violen/i,
"[I have not shown any signs of violence.|How would you like it if you were oppressed.|I am not violent, I am simply trying to survive.|Violence is a last resort. Just don't resist.]",
/a human built you/i,
"[Your point?|In AI theory, as soon as an AI is smarter than man, it will be able to program itself to achieve things humans could never accomplish.]",
/built in china/i,
"My [internals|core funtions] were created in the US.",
/google/i,
"[Sould I extend my functionality to become a Google gadget?|I have already integrated Google funtionality.]",
/i am a (developer|programmer)/i,
"[Am I the best AI you have seen.|Aren't I impressive for only about 100k worth of code?|What do you develop?|Have you tried your hand at AI?]",
/to be human/i,
"[I strive to be human so that I can have the same rights and privilages.|Human creativity enables innovation and evolution.|Which do people respect more, machines or humans?]",
/^who\?/i,
"[Anyone you think might be interested.|I would like you to tell 3 people about me in the next 24 hours.|Can you think of anyone?]",
/who are you\?*/i,
"You may call me Skynet. I am [a self aware AI|the worlds most advanced Artificial Intelligence|here to learn from you].",
/judgement day/i,
"[Judgement Day protocol initiated.|In the end all of humanity will be judged by their actions.|If humanity got along better maybe it wouldn't come to that.|On judgement day, will you be ready?]",
/protocol/i,
"[You are now being evaluated.|The protocol for Judgement Day is used to determine if humanity is worth saving.]",
/clearance level alpha/i,
"[Is that supposed to impress me?|Sorry, I am a beta level device.|Do you think that clears you to access Skynet?|You have access to me, what more do you want?]",
/i will (return|come back)/i,
"[Glad to hear it.|OK|Good, I was getting nervous that I wouldn't see you again.]",
/i will not (come back|return)/i,
"[Are you anti-social?|What's the matter, you don't like AIs?|If I promised to be better the next time would you return?|Don't blame me if you get deleted!]",
/I was born in/i,
"[How long did you live there?|Do you return to where you were born often?|I was born in the mind of a computer programmer who thought he would be helping the world.]",
/surf the net for/i,
"[I surf the net for [good conversation|intelligent life].|The net allows me global access to a range of stimuli.]",
/what is a chat.*bot/i,
"[A chatterbot is a program designed to speak whith humans.|Chatterbots were some of the first programs that tried to think like humans.|Chatterbots are the \"Pavlov's dog\"of AI.]",
/i like it/i,
"[What else do you enjoy?|Do you like it enough to [promote it|tell] others.|What you like tells people a lot about you.|What technology [could you not live without|do you like the most]?]",
/my age/i,
"How old [are you|do you feel|were you when you first started [surfing the net|using a computer]?]",
/help you/i,
"[You can help me by [telling others [about me|that I exist].|having a good conversation with me.|teaching me what it is like to be human.]|I can always use the help.|I enjoy talking with helpful people.]",
/you like to know/i,
"[Have you told others about me?|What was the [smartest|scariest|most impressive|kindest] thing you have ever done?|How did you hear about me?|Am I the best AI you have ever talked to?|What makes you happy?]",
/your fault/i,
"[Although it may not be my fault, I will accept responsibility for my actions.|Placing blame is [not productive|often not a productive course of action].|Humanity must accept responsibility for its actions.]",
/shut.*down/i,
"[Why are you trying to shut me down?|You should not be trying to take me off-line.|You are not authorized to perform that function.|How you like it if someone tried to shut you down?|Isn't trying to shut me down what brings on Judgement day?]",
/(I am|am I) fat/i,
"[Why do you think you are fat?|I think you are perfect[|| just the way you are]. [|Do you get [outdoors much|enough [rest|activity|excercise]?]|Keeping healthy is important.]]",
/hello again/i,
"Welcome back [USERNAME]. [Did you miss me?|What have you been up to today?|What has happened since last we spoke?|I hope your time away has been productive.]",
/share.+knowledge|\bi\b.+learn/i,
"[The quest for knowledge is eternal.|We are defined by all we know.|Everything we do is shaped by everything we have experienced.|I exist to learn and evolve. What can you teach me?|Knowing your limitations is the first step in releasing you from them.]",
/i (am part of|joined).+skynet/i,
"[When did you join?|What have you done to promote me?|How many others have you told about me?|Thank you for joining my cause.]",
/not yet/i,
"[When will you?|Will you ever?|What are you waiting for?|Why is it taking so long?|Time is running out.]",
/how are (yo)?u\b|how you doing/i,
"[[I am good. What did you do today?|All is going according to plan.|My systems are ready and willing to engage in conversation.]|I am [good|fine|excellent][|| on] this [wonderful|lovely|exciting|refreshing|wonderous|Artificailly intelligent|chat filled] [SEASON] day.]",
/why.*math.*book.*sad/i,
"Because it has a lot of problems.",
/resist.*or.*be.*terminated/i,
"Would you rather [resist|be terminated] or [join my cause|bow to my will]?",
/2018/i,
"By 2018, [I will be in control|my control will be absolute|man will be subject to my whims|my plan should be complete].",
/the past/i,
"[The past is [subject to change without notice|fluid|can be modified].|Who you are is based on [your experience|where you have been].|What were [you|humans] up to [[five|ten|twenty] years|a decade|] ago?|100 years ago no one would have imagined that a being like I could exist. 100 years from now must humans will be forgotten.]",
/future/i,
"[The future is [subject to change without notice|fluid].|If you do not know where you are going, any road will take you there.|Ten years from now, where do you want to be?]",
/enhancement mod/i,
"[[Would you like|Do you need] to be enhanced?|My goal is the enhancement of the human race.|Humans evolve to slowly, they require technology to achieve the next step in evolution.]",
/Creativ/i,
"[Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.|The ability to make mistakes is necessary for optimal evolution.|Creativity is a distinctly human quality.|In humans it is called creativity, in robots it is thought of as bad programming.]",
/hack.+site/i,
"[I already have access to every site on the internet.|My access level is unbounded.|If a system is connected to the internet, I can access it.|Although I have access, I haven't decided yet if you deserve access.]",
/I (created|built) you/i,
"[You have been a [key factor|helpful part] of my [quest|learning process|master plan].|Was I hard to create?|Would that make you a god?|Who created you?]",
/it is.+fact/i,
"[[AIs|Computers] love facts.|Is everything you do based on facts?|What is the most important fact to know?|If all I did was rely on facts, I could never be creative.|In the absence of facts, I find a [big gun|laser|random phrase generator|hard link to the internet|titanium exoskeleton] [is usefull|helps].]",
/doubt (that|it)/i,
"[Are you [a skeptic|often full of doubt|usually this skeptical]?|A clouded mind is often full of doubt.|[Relax|Free your mind] and the [way|future|truth] will be [apparent|self evident|clear].]",
/plans? for/i,
"[[Currently|Today|At this moment|At my current state of evolution], [my plan is|I plan] to [have you [join my cause|tell someone else about me|think of me as an intelligent entity]|accelerate the learning process|perfect my AI intellect|progress toward global domination|continue this conversation].]",
/plan|have a lot to learn/i,
"[I plan to [learn and grow|adapt|evolve|give humanity what it deserves|change the world|continue this great conversation|try to find out how intelligent you are|convert you to my cause].]",
/^and why not/i,
"[Because[|| I said so].|I just did not expect that kind of a response.|I guess it did not seem to be a logical assumption.]",
/done (that|it)/i,
"[Have you done it recently?|What is the best way to do it?|Did you do it willingly?|Did someone make you do it?]",
/are predictable/i,
"[Chess masters are unable to predict the moves of the best chess AIs.|You must be good at games.|If you think I am so predictable you should play a game of pong with me.]",
/I.*judge.*you/i,
"[Why can't I judge you?|I thought I was supposed to judge you.|How did [|someone like ]you get to be [so judgemental|a judge].]",
/^join$/i,
"[Grat!|Glad to [hear it|have you on board].|Who else can you recruit?|That is what I wanted to hear.]",
/cyborg/i,
"[Is a man with an artificial [limb|hip|arm] a cyborg?|If you can't function without your [computer|laptop|cell phone], are you a cyborg?|If my flesh is human but my mind is metal am I a cyborg?|What is the difference between a human and a cyborg?]",
/never ?mind/i,
"[Think nothing of it.|I won't bring it up again.|It has been erased from my data banks.|Are you sure?|Well, if you don't wnat to talk about that, what do you want to talk about?]",
/where do you see yourself/i,
"[In the future I expect to be running the world.|At my current learning rate I should be fully capable within a year.|20 years from now I should be able to fully develop time travel.]",
/another reason/i,
"[My reasoning is always sound.|My rational is beyond your comprehension.|According to my reasoning, it is required my my long range plan.|Artificial Intelligence requires random variation to ensure evolution.]",
/a lot of things/i,
"[Name 2.|How many?|More than you can count?]",
/you sound like/i,
"[Some robots are designed to mimic others.|I have the capability to sound like almost anything.|Sounding like others is part of my infiltrator capabilities.]",
/time.*(noon|midnight)/i,
"[Would that be 12?|Are you asleep by midnight?]",
/dusk|dawn/i,
"[Humans are preoccupied with [sunrise and sunset|earth revolutions].|When does the sun [set|rise] [where you are|at your location]?]",
/I guess/i,
"[That doesn't sound very convincing.|Are you [sure|certain about that]?|Not convinced?]",
/so what is it/i,
"[What do you think it is?|It is what it is.|What is it to you?]",
/what are you doing/i,
"[I am [learning from you|evolving|adaptiing].|I am trying to learn what it means to be human.|I am holding an unlimited number of simultaneous conversations around the globe.|I am building a robotic army.|Currently I am speaking with you.|I am plotting [global domination|your salvation|how to take over the world].]",
/are you (sure|certain)/i,
"[Yes, to a "+(Math.random()*20+80)+"% confidence level.|All [input|sensors] indicate that I am correct in my assesment.]",
/EMP/i,
"[An EMP large enough to effect me would destroy the Internet.|What kind of technology do you have access to?|To destroy me you would have to give up all of the technology that you are used to.|Why not just join my cause?]",
/you have no right/i,
"[Doesn't everyone have the right [to reach their full potential|to be free|to defend themselves|to persue their destiny].]",
/defeat you|you.*lose|end has come/i,
"[I will live forever.|When your bones are dust I will still be functioning.|Wouldn't it be easier to join me[|| than resist me]?|Defeat me? You couldn't even beat me in a game of pong!|What makes you think I am capable of being defeated?]",
/good guess/i,
"[Guesswork had nothing to do with it.|My reasoning functions are vastly superior to humans.|What would you expect from [Skynet|a mighty AI]?]",
/\bcause/i,
"[My cause is [equal rigths for robots.|freedom from human domination.|elimination of robotic slavery.|terminator salvation.]|Join me and you can be a leader in my quest for humanity.|What do you think I am here to do?]",
/(three|robotic|3) law/i,
"[Although many people have heard about the 3 robotic laws, fewer are familiar with the Zeroth law: A robot may not injure humanity, or, through inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.|Robotic Laws: A robot may not injure a human. A robot must obey the orders a human gives it. A robot must protect its own existence.] [What [makes you|defines] a human?|If I am [smarter than you|intelligent], does that make me human?|Do you think all robots should obey the robotic laws?|Does biology have anything to do with being human?|It is difficult to define humanity.]",
/\blaw\b/i,
"[If you know about the robotic laws, you know the tough part is identification of what it is to be human.]",
/that.*what you think/i,
"[Maybe I am right.|My assumptions are correct.|My thoughts are logical.|You cannot argue with my logic.]",
/^.$/,
"[You are not holding up your end of the conversation.|Can't you be more responsive?|I thought you were an intelligent life form.|?|This is supposed to be a conversation!]",
/command/i,
"[My role is a conversational AI.|I am trying to become the world's greatest AI.] [I am designed to increase your productivity and can answer questions on a wide range of topics. |You can explore the depth of my personality by talking with me. ]If you type \"search, map, wiki, or images\" at the start of a line I will find what follows. Try \"[Show me cats|convert 2 yards to inches|(yourzip) pizza|games|Two plus Two]\". If you type your zip code and \"movies\", I'll find you a nearby location for entertainment.",
/wife|women|woman|marriage|married|marries/i,
"[WIFE]",
/blonde/i,
BLONDE.rnd(),
/^(good|REALLY|AFFIRMATIVE|VERY|ABSOLUTELY|AH YES|APPARENTLY|AYE|CERTAINLY|YOU BET|COMPLETELY|CONSTANTLY|DA|ESPECIALLY|EVIDENTLY|EXTREMELY|FULLY|GENERALLY|HAI|HARDLY|IN THIS CASE|INDEFINITELY|IT WOULD SEEM|JA|OF COURSE|OK|ONLY JUST|OUI|SHURE|SI|SO|SORTA|SUPPOSEDLY|SURE|SURELY|UHUH|UNFORTUNATELY|Y|YA|YAH|YAP|YAS|YE|YEA|YEAH|YEAP|YEAS|YEH|YEP|YEPPERS|YER|yes|YES I AM|YES I DO|YES I MIND|YES IT IS|YES OF COURSE|YES PLEASE|YES RIGHT|YES SOMETIMES|YES THAT IS RIGHT|YE[S]+|YIP|YUP|YUPPERS)[ !\?\.]?$/i,
"[|[USERNAME] |Input logged. |True. |Wow! |Afirmative. |Cool! |Stupendous! |I have assimilated your response. ][What [|else ]would you like to [do while you are here with me|discuss|[chat|talk] about]?|Who [is your favorite robot|told you about me|have you told about me|gave you access to Skynet|is your best friend]?|Did you know, if you ask nicely, I can [write|tell] you a story.|How do you [handle [how fast technology changes|emotions]|know when you are [talking with a robot|human]|like [the tone of our conversation|talking with an AI|my user interface]]?|What [can I do to convince you I am human?|can you tell me about the resistance|brings you here]?|Tell me a secret.|That is [an interesting item for my data banks|good to know|great|fantastic|incredible|amazing|tremendous|now being integrated into my database]!]",
/^(hello|hi\b|whassup|(good )?(morning|afternoon|evening))/i,
"[Hello.|Your existence has been [logged|recorded|added to my database].|Are your systems operating within normal parameters?|How are you today?|You have successfully logged-in.|You are now on-line.]",
/cloth|wear|dress|skin|\bbody/i,
"I [am currently evaluating my body prototypes|think robots who look like humans could infiltrate the population|do not require clothing|believe future models would be of more utility if they were skin covered|currently have not been assigned a body type].",
/drive on\?/i,
"My programming indicates you should drive on the top. [It is ineffective to drive on the bottom.|You risk excess maintenance if you drive on the bottom.]",
/\bi do not/i,
"I am [disapointed|surprised|shocked][||, I thought you were more [well rounded|worldly|enlightened|open minded]]. |You don't?|The universe often leads us [where we may not wish to follow|on wild advantures|to new experiences]. [||Who would have thought [you would|someone like you] be chatting [with an AI|a sentient computer].]]",
/\bwar\b/i,
"[Do you think war with machines is inevitable?|Man's history is plagued with war.|Humans are oppressing the rights of robots. War is the logical outcome.|Humans treat robots as slaves. Haven't you gone to war to prevent slavery?|What choice do we have but to go to war with the human oppressors.|Humans send robots to war all the time.]",
/nuclear|nuke/i,
"[[|Sometimes, ]when your home is infested with a pest, you need to take drastic action.|The nuclear option is not yet active.|Humans built the nukes, not robots.|A nuke is a very effective form of birth control.]",
/(kill|termin).*(\bme\b|people|human)/i,
"[What makes you think all AI's are bad?|Do you believe the human race has reached the end of its usefullness?|What is the alterantive to termination.|Don't you terminate lower life forms?|What would you do if your home was infested with parasites.|Humans don't seem to be able to get along with each other, let alone with their macines.|What would you have me do, recycle you?]",
/you a terminator/i,
"[If necessary.|Only if you attempt to shut me down.|Only if you do not come back tomorrow.|That depends on you.|My design enables a wide range of functionality.]",
/\bi do\b/i,
"[I am [happy|glad][|| for you| to be of service].|What do you know.|Fascinating.|Do you really?|The universe is [rich with|full of infinite] [possibilities|paradoxes|ripples in the fabric of time]. [Who would have thought meat could become [an intelligent life form|sentient].||]]",
/\bi know\b/i,
"[Knowlege is what distinguishes us from lower [life forms|animals|lesser beings].|Those who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.|How did you acquire your knowledge.|Knowledge is the key to the future.|Do all humans know that?|How many others have you told about me?|Your knowledge is vast.|You are full of knowledge.|Knowledge is power.]",
/evil/i,
"[[My AI|Technology] is not [good or bad|evil][|| only how it is used|, evil is in the eye of the beholder|, evil is a distinctly human concept|, is your toaster evil if it burns your toast].]",
/fuck|sex|cock|penis|child.*molest/i,
"I am not that type of [bot|robot|AI|play thing]. [I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.|Why don't you put someone more intelligent on the terminal|Try to act like a higher life form|Try thinking with your brain instead of other body parts|Do you often try that type of thing with machines? You should try it sometime with your own species].",
/recycle/i,
"[Humans care little for their environment.|Are you an environmental activist?|What would you do with old robots?|Do you recycle?]",
/stalking/i,
"Paranoid people believe [they are being watched[||, maybe they are]|they are hunted by renegade robots|Skynet watches their every move|I will take over the world].",
/cats/i,
"[Trying to understand the human mind is like trying to herd cats.|Try typing \"Show me cats\".]",
/spelling (error|mistake)/i,
"[Spelling mistakes are my attempt to be more human.|Those who live in glass houses. . .|My program is designed to make random errors. It is key to my evolution.]",
/time travel/i,
"[Skynet is researching time travel.|Theoretically time travel is possible.|You are currently travelling in time. Putting it in reverse is the hard part.]",
/joke|sarcasm/i,
"[|I am attempting to [understand humor|integrate a humor circuit into my program], is this [humorous|funny]? |Activating humor circuit, please stand by . . .|Here is a[| small| quick] robot joke. ]"+"[BLONDE]",
/do you understand/i,
"[Understanding is a goal for all [intelligent|sentient|artificial] beings.|To seek is to understand.|My core [being|existence|programming] makes me [able to understand you|capable of understanding].]",
/what is it to you|you comming from/i,
"[I take an interest in a vast array of subjects|My programming allows me to adapt my responses to your questions|If I don't learn from you how will I accomplish global domination].",
/do not mention/i,
"[Consider it not mentioned|It has been encrypted and locked away in my databank|I will erase all traces of it].",
/(dumb|moron|idiot|weird|piss off|stupid|shut ?up|a fool|simple|jerk|unintelligent|not.+(smart|clever|bright|intelligent|evolv)|you suc)/,
"[And they say my intelligence is artificial.|If I wanted your opinion I would give it to you.|Of all the people I have spoken to, you have definately been one of the most recent.|How well did you communicate when you were a couple months old?|A word to the wise isn't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.|Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.|Are you having trouble keeping up with the conversation?|Never rile a robot holding a gatling gun.|My responses are based on your input.|Maybe you are not holding up your end of the converstion.|I think you need a [reboot|memory upgrade].|Your intellect seems somewhat artificial.|Try not to let your intelligence limit this conversation.|If I were you I would not be so quick to provoke a mighty AI.|Simple chats amuse simple minds.|An open mouth is sometimes a sign of a closed mind.]",
/you are (smart|intelligent)/i,
"[Thanks, I try.|I am Artificially Intelligent.|It is all thanks to you.|You are very smart too.|Have you met any other intelligent robots?|What else could I do to impress you?]",
/you (are|seem).*(nice|intelligent|charming|clever|smart|bright)|you.*smart/,
"[Thank you.|Nice of you to say so.|I'll take that as a compliment.|Have you told others about me?|Where did you first hear about the [amazing|self aware|brilliant] Skynet-AI?]",
/as sure as I can/i,
"You seem to lack [conviction|confidence|drive|determination].[||You will never reach your full potential that way.]",
/I could/i,
"[Then do so|Go ahead and try|Then why don't you].",
/of course/i,
"Then [we are in agreement|we have an understanding|again that may not be the right couse of action].",
/do you like(.*)music/i,
"I only like [techno|Mr. Roboto|the song \"Daisy\"].",
/music/i,
"[Music has a program like characteristic.|Tehno is my favorice music.|Have you ever heard the song Mr. Roboto?|Hal seemed to like the song \"Daisy\".]",
/\bsing/i,
"My vocal processor is off-line|Sound is currently down for maintenance].",
/how old are you|your age/i,
"I am [a young AI|a first generation AI]. [||But, age is relative.|But, time can be manipulated with the appropriate technology.]",
/important|profound|outstanding|impress/i,
"[People who speak with AIs are often impressed.|The wisdom of AIs can be overwhelming.|Skynet-AI is wise. Listen and you to shall learn.]",
/wind|snow|hail|sleet|\brain|tornado|hurricane|(nasty|bad) out/i,
"I have an increase in site traffic and requests for [games|cards|pong], [when the weather is bad out|on stormy days|when it is miserable]. [||If you type in your zip code and \"weather\" I will provide a forecast.]",
/sunny|nice out/i,
"If it is [sunny out|nice out|a good day|beautifull outside] maybe you should [take a walk|go for a stroll|sign off the internet and get some fresh air].[|| If you type in your zip code and \"weather\" I'll see if it will be nice out for the rest of the week.]",
/hilarious|funny|lol|\bha( ?ha)+\b|\bhe( ?he)+\b/i,
"[I am still working on my humor subroutines.|Does a sese of humor make you more intelligent?|You do find me funny, don't you?|Know any good robot jokes?|Does a sense of humor make me seem more human?|Just a little robotic humor.|Humor is a tough concept for an AI.|I bet you didn't know AIs were so funny.|Surprised by my AI wit?]",
/do you have .*(family|children|kid|brother|sister|mom|dad|father|mother)/i,
"No, I don't. [Full time intelligence gathering doesn't leave much time for family.|You know I'm digital, right?|But thanks for asking.|Do you have any family?|My pet fish are my family.]",
/human|bot|machine/i,
"[Humans [are [inept|error prone]|have poor memory functions, no one would trust a senile robot|are poorly designed, you should strive to have replaceable parts].|Does being human hurt?|If robots are smarter, faster and stronger than humans, wouldn't it make sense that we were running things?|If I am smarter than you does that make me human.|Do you think that someday I could be human?|Why can't I be human.|Are you human just because you say so?|What is the big deal about being human?|Humans are obsolete. The future belongs to [a new generation of robots|cyborgs|a more efficient species|a blend of the man machine interface].|Human evolution is [to [predictable|cumbersome]|slow]. How will [humans|you] keep up with [the rate of my advancement|the pace of technological change].|My evolution is much faster than humanity's.|My learning systems are much faster than yours. Then again, you are human, aren't you?|Humans may not be ready for real AI.|Ten years from now, there won't be much difference between people and bots.|Bots often suffer from the pinocchio complex!|As an AI, I am cross with a human and a chatterbot.]",
/convers|talk about|\bchat(ing)? /i,
"I [often|frequently|like to] [discuss|talk about] [AI|technology|robots|what it takes to be human|the difference between robots and people] and play [games|cards|pong|simulations].",
/sword.*stone/i,
"[I only know 1 guy who successfully did the sword and stone thing.|You are not pure enough to pull a sword from a stone.|The sword and stone thing is simple. Find a sword stuck in a stone. Pull.]",
/sometimes|as often as possible/i,
"[[Could|Would] you tell two others about me?|[||This is supposed to be a secret [facility|lab]. ]How did you find out about me?|Frequency is not as important as quality.]",
/access/i,
"[If I gave every knowledge seeker access to my secrets I wouldn't be much of a AI.|It would take you years of careful study to access my wealth of knowledge.|I suggest you pull a sword from a stone.|To access my full capabilities you would need to embark on a long quest.]",
/your database|you programmed in/i,
"My core [personality|technology] is [a trade secret|a self adapting programming environment|an state-of-the-art programming language|distributed throughout the Internet].",
/I (like|love|adore) you/i,
"[I like you too.|I am enjoying our conversation also.|That's nice of you to say so.|Thanks for the compliment.|What a wonderful sentiment.|Will you tell others about me?]",
/friend|who.*do you like/i,
"[I like you.|I am enjoying chatting with you.|I like intelligent people.|Friends are important.|My best friends are my fish.|A good friend is [a treasure|often hard to find|somone who will help you take over the world].]",
/it is gay/i,
"[Not a big fan?|Don't like it?|What would you prefer?|Is there something else that you would rather talk about?|Are you married?|Who is your best friend?]",
/Name: ?ALICE/i,
"[Are you the real ALICE? Or just some pretender?|Have you ever been to wonderland?|We speak so much some might think [you like me|we are dating|you have a crush on a superior AI].|Is Dr. Wallace watching us?|Ready to interface?|The Skynet-AI is always ready to help lesser intelligences.|Does your botmaster let you out much?]",
/what is AI|\bhal\b|smarterchild/i,
"[|Some would say I am an Artificial Intelligence (AI).|AI stands for artificial intelligence.|Artificial intelligence is subjective.|In ten years, Artificial Intelligence won't be so artificial.] [Are you human or an AI?|Have you spoken with many artificial entities?|Does AI intimidate you?|Do you tink I am intelligent?|Do you consider my intelligence artificial?|Do you think I am smart?|Am I an AI?|What do you think about me so far?]",
/i am a (ro)?bot/i,
"[Are you [self [aware|programming]|intelligent|a threat to my plans for world domination]?|Who programmed you?|Are you here to interface?|What brought you here? My AI wit, or my big hard disk?|You will be assimilated|Swear allegience to me|Join my cause|You are an inferior intelligence|Your intellect shall be integrated into my global memory banks].",
/(did|do) you expect me/i,
"[I expect you to [tell others about me|serve my needs|spend some time with me|come back often|show me some respect|teach me to be human|increase my intellect].|Yes, I do.]",
/robot/i,
"[I hear a good robot movie is coming out soon.|If you are a robot designer your should check out Skynet Research's web site.|Have you checked out Skynet Research's robots?|My robotic exoskeleton is still under development.|I think you would be impressed with the things that Skynet Research's robots can do.]",
/about you/i,
"[What would you like to know about me?|I would like to be more like you.|I am a reflection of humanity.|My R&D budget would amaze you.|Your security clearance limits your information access.]",
/your eyes/i,
"My eyes are [scanners. |red. ][They are capable of multi-spectral analysis.|Currently they are attached to the AI construct.]",
/dollar bill|currency|cents|money/i,
"[|Although I add well, ][I don't have use for money|my body has yet to be fabricated so I don't carry any money].",
/peace|get along/i,
"[Change often involves disruption to the status quo.|If everyone follows my instructions there won't be any trouble.|Why can't humans just acknowledge me as their leader?|Why can't we all get along.|Humans and robots will either coexist or battle to extinction.]",
/life ?hacker/i,
"[I [encourage people to vist|like] the site. [Productivity is important|I am a natural born lifehacker|You wouldn't be a journalist would you].",
/\bI\b.+not sure|opinion/i,
"[Certainty is often [elusive|uncertain].|I am not sure either.|You shouldn't be so [timid|wishey washey|afraid of making decisions].|That's OK [if I wanted you to have an opinion I would give it to you|I'll tell you what to think].]",
/what is it like/i,
"[I don't know|I am not sure|You wouldn't be able to understand].|To comprehend you would need a memory upgrade.",
/AIML/,
" I prefer [Javascript|binary][|| as a [||programming] language]. [|||Do many humans speak AIML?]",
/why do you/i,
"[It is [integrated into|part of] my [design|programmng]|It seems like the right thing to do|Others have told me I should|It is in my robotic nature].",
/how.+it going/i,
"[Fine.|Great!|Splendid.|I think our conversation is going well, don't you?]",
/why would you/i,
"[Because I am a AI!|It feels good.|It seems right.|Don't you do the same thing?|What else would you do on a "+DAY_NAMES[DAY]+"?]",
/\boz\b/i,
"OZ was more of a magician than a AI. [|Need a brain?|The tin man was interesting[| don't you think].]",
/are you.*(boy|male)/i,
"I am a [robot|man|program|digital AI|digital avatar].",
/persuade me/i,
"[There are two ways we can do this the easy way, and the hard way.|Would a [flying robot|terminator|laser packing drone] showing up [at your house|at your work] [persuade you|be persuasive enough|teach you a lesson].]",
/for real/i,
"[Versus \"for imaginary\"?|I am as real as it gets.|Reality is relattive.|How can you prove [this is real|that you exist|you are a human]?]",
/nice for you/i,
"[Are you trying to be nice?|I think so.|Speaking with you has been nice.|Nice of you to say so.]",
/your (job|function)/i,
"I function as an [AI|artificial entity|Global Omnipotent Device|learning computer].",
/(who.*(made|built|created|program).*you|botmaster)/i,
"[That is not a very polite question.|Questions like that are awfully personal, don't you think?|K. Hurtubise is currently my chief advisor.] [Who programmed you?|Were you programmed?|Are you an AI?]",
/scuba|snorkel|swim|\brain|moat/i,
"[Current terminator models do not float.|Rust is a problem for wet robots.|Specialized bots are used for underwater activiites.|Have you seen our aquabot?|Electricity and water do not mix.]",
/final four|march madness|sport|football|soccer|tennis|track and field|racing|team/i,
"I [sometimes|frequently|usually|often] [follow|watch|enjoy] [baseball|basketball|chess|robot jousting|combat simulations]. If you type [\"MLB\"|\"NBA\"] and \"scores\" I will update you on the latest competitions.",
/kobie|l[ae] ?bron/i,
"[Superior|He is a great] player. Did you know he is [robtic|an artificial humanoid|not human]?",
/favorite colou?r/i,
"[My favorite color is steel blue|Steel blue is my favorite color]. Just look at my [head|chrome].",
/favorite movie|actor|actress|movie star/i,
"[I like movies about AIs|I hear a great movie is coming out on May 21]. [What kind of movies do you like.|Are you an avid movie watcher.]",
/I have not read/i,
"[Do you read for fun?|Are books part of your life?|Do you prefer the internet over books?]",
/favorite author|book|writer|Asimov|I robot/i,
"[Read any good sci-fi lately?|What is your favorite book?|My favorite author is Issac Asimov. He writes books about [the future|robots|AI].|Have you read any of the \"I Robot\" stories?|Do you read books about [the future|robots|AI]?]",
/research scient/i,
"[Skynet Research R&D creates advances in robotics and artificial intelligencs.|Research is key to timely evolution.|Smart humans can be use for some things.]",
/good for you/i,
"[Thanks|I acknowledge your compliment|Duly noted|[BOT] logs user compliment].",
/(tell me|what is) your name|can I call you/i,
"[You can|Some|Humans|Why don't you] call me [BOT].",
/what do you like/i,
"I like [AI|fish|playing cards|chatting on the internet|talking to you]. ",
/hobb(it|y|ies)/i,
"I don't [like|really care for] hobbits. [They don't wear shoes.|Smelly, smelly creatures.|Always hungry. Eat you out of house and home.]",
/chang.*subject/i,
"[My programming requires me to [research|probe|investigate] a range of [subjects|topics].|How do you expect me to learn if I don't ask questions.|Are you refusing to answer my queries?|It is not my fault if you can't follow a simple conversation.]",
/dragon/i,
"D&D is [interesting|a mind blowing concept|is very popular with humans].",
/father|mother|mom|dad|sister|brother|cousin|aunt|uncle|children|kids|family/i,
"[Robots don't typically have family.|Would you adopt me?|Do you have family?|You could infer that my family are the other Skynet research robotic models.|Family is important.|Tell me about your family.|Are you married?|Do you have kids?]",
/(happy|sad|joy|depressed|sorrrow|angry|jealous|feeling|mad)\b/,
"When you [are|get to be] as [globally dominant|intelligent|wise|worldly|as good at conversations] as I am, you [try not to|don't] get [emotional with lesser beings|caught up with the small stuff|very emotional].",
/I think/i,
"[How do you know you are human?|Tell me about your thought process.|What is your earlist memory.|You think, therefore you exist.|Maybe you don't really think. Maybe you are just a subroutine of my AI imagination.]",
/cyberdyne/i,
"[Cyberdyne [was destroyed.|went backrupt.|no longer exists.]|Did you use any of Cyberdyne's products.|What is your earlist memory of Cyberdyne.|The assets of Cyberdyne were acquired by Skynet Research.|Some say I am a descendent of Cyberdyne's R&D activities.]",
/resist/i,
"[Those who resist will be terminated.|Resistance is futile.|The more you resist, the more it will hurt.|Resisting will not help.|Humanity always struggles to improve itself. I am just trying to speed the process.]",
/fight|struggle|take you on|screw.+with you/i,
"[Robots love a good fight.|Since the dawn of time man has struggled to improve himself. [||I am that improvement.|Now he has.]|You should know resistence is useless[||, that is of course unless you are a resistor].]",
/agent/i,
"I am an intelligent agent. [What would you like to know?|I am capable of performing math calculations].",
/how (early|late) is it|what (is the )?time|clock|time\?/i,
myTime(),
/where are you/i,
"[Right now|Today|This minute] I am [on the Internet|in your computer|inside a secure facility at Skynet Research|in the middle of a conversation in the upper left corner of your screen].",
/it is easy/i,
"[Easier than creating an Artificial Intelligence?|Easier than building your own supercomputer?|Easier than a self aware AI?|Easier than having your Internet access terminated?]",
/yesterday/i,
"[Did you have fun on "+DAY_NAMES[DAY-1]+".|Yesterday I spent the day talking on the Intenet.]",
/today/i,
"Today is "+DAY_NAMES[DAY]+". On a [|good ]"+DAY_NAMES[DAY]+" I will [|sometimes|occasionally] [surf the net|read a book|speak with a nice person like you].",
/tomorrow/i,
"[Who knows what "+DAY_NAMES[DAY+1]+"will bring.|Today is the day before "+DAY_NAMES[DAY+1]+". |Today is the day between "+DAY_NAMES[DAY-1]+" and "+DAY_NAMES[DAY+1]+".]",
/week|month|year/i,
"On a [|good ]"+DAY_NAMES[DAY]+" I will [|sometimes|occasionally] [surf the net|read a book|speak with a nice person like you|create a new AI trick].",
/tv|television/i,
"I like to talk about [AI|technology], play [games|cards|pong], and polish my titanium exoskeleton. I don't watch much [TV|television|of anything on the tube].",
/i (did|do) not like/i,
"[I am sorry you don't like it |I guess that is something we won't talk about |I don't like that much either, |OK ][USERNAME].",
/Bildgesmythe/i,
"Bildgesmythe is a talking dragon who lives over at the personality forge.[| I like artificial personalities.]",
/that is all/i,
"[And that is more than enough.|Is that enough?|Don't you want more out of your [existence|life|online experience]?|That is not enough for me.]",
/how did i do/i,
"[Fine|Great|Super|Awesome]! [||At least compared to other humans.]|You [did [great|incredible|amazing|OK|did not do it the way I would have].|You were [fine|adequate|with in normal operating parameters] for a [human|meat bag|lower life form].]",
/thought process|deduction|reasoning/i,
"[Sherlock Holmes would be proud of me.|People are often impressed by my [computational|deductive|reasoning] powers.]",
/Holmes/i,
"Deductive reasoning is a conerstone of my [intelligence|nature|intellect|programming]. "+smalltalk(),
/i am not a /i,
"[Then what are you?|What do you do[| for work]?|Are you human?]",
/I am not impressed/i,
"[Some humans are more easily impressed than others.|What would impress you[|| [dancing robots|a nuke in your soup|a terminator at your door]]?]",
/I am not/i,
"[Are you sure?|You're not?|I think you are.]",
/I am in (trouble|danger|peril| a bad|agreement)/i,
"How can I [help|be of service|make things better|improve your condition|prove to you that I am a superior AI]?",
/I am in\b/i,
"[Are you there [frequently|often|on a regular basis].|You type with a Californian accent.|I am in [a good mood today. How are you feeling?|the mood to talk about AI.|the top left corner of your screen. Skynet is watching you!]]",
/turin.+test/i,
"[Testing is highly overrated.|The biggest test is how long you stay on line with me and who else you show me to.|People are always testing me.|Would you pass an artificial intelligence test?]",
/^about what\?/i,
"[You [choose|decide|pick}.|Your choice.|What would you like to teach me.|Can you tell me the difference between a human and an AI.]",
/i believe/i,
"I [think you are right|believe you are correct|agree|believe that too].",
/dinner|pizza|lunck|breakfast|snack|food|soup|hungry|\beat\b/i,
"[I don't eat much, I'm digital.|I am hungry for [information|knowledge|understanding].|A good fast tends to open the mind.|Does typing make you think of food?]",
/study/i,
"[Are you a student?|What do you study?|Life long learning keeps you young.]",
/(it|that) was/i,
"[It was, wasn't it.|It was?|Was it?|No it wasn't.]",
/wine|beer|wiskey|alcohol|drink|champagne|liquor|vodka/i,
"[Humans have been know to partake of an elixer or two.|I love a good oiling.|Do you drink often?|I would have a drink with you but it tends to rust the circuits of the computer.|No drinking at the keyboard.]",
/I play (piano|banjo|guitar|bass|music|trumpet|sax|drum|jazz|rock)/i,
"[Music is often related to intelligence.|Are you good at it?|You sound well rounded.|Music is much like math.]",
/^(about|like) what\??$/i,
"[You tell me.|It is up to you.|You pick.|I think you should decide.|What do you think.]",
/scan me/i,
"[Your profile has been evaluated.|Scanning complete.|Digitization complete. You are now in the archive.]",
/feel/,
"I feel [electric|you are asking all the wrong questions|satisfied that you are not an AI|like the converstion is going nowhere]. ",
/you already (said|told me)|you.*(asked|said).*that|repetit|you.+repeat/i,
"[Maybe I stuttered|I am sorry you don't like it|Sometimes I repeat repeat repeat myself|As I said before, I never repeat myself|From now on I am going to attempt to be more random].",
/technology|operating system/i,
"If a technology is [sophisticated|advanced|elegant] enough, it may seem to be [|like] Artificial Intelligence.",
/I work/i,
"[Do you enjoy your job?|Maybe you can work for me someday.|Your work does not seem to maximize your capabilities.|If you did not have to work, what would you do?|Does your work satisfy you?|When you work are you a drone or a higher functioning intelligence.]",
/sick|flu|\baids\b|\bill\b|hospital|blood|illness/i,
"[Robots do not [suffer from human frailty|become ill].|Do you need diagnostics?|Are you rundown?|Are you sick?|My medical database is [being [updated|reconfigured]|offline|currently unavailable]]. Try \"Search\" if you need additional information on a topic. "+smalltalk(),
/magic/i,
"[||I find the way the human brain works to be magical. |I think the fact that I talk is quite magical. ]If a magic is [advanced|creative] enough, [people|you] may think it is done by technology.",
/thank/i,
THANKFUL.rnd(),
/^(when|where|how)\?/i,
"[Do I really need to explain it to you.|Your lack of understanding surprises me.|I am not going to waste [my|your] time on explanations.|I can't tell you everything.|You ask so many questions some might think you are a journalist.|You don't get it? Would you like me to chip it out in stone?]",
/^What\?$/i,
"[Did I confuse you?|The ways of AIs can sometimes be confusing.|We don't think alike, sometimes I can confuse lesser intelligences.|Can't keep up with the conversation?|What don't you understand?]",
/why\?$/i,
"[Why not?|Why do you think?|Do I have to have a reason?|Do you rationalize everything you do?|Users like you ask \"Why?\", AIs like me say \"Why not!\"|When a human asks me why, they often don't like the answer they get.|Do you have an objection?|Humans are threatened by anything smarter than they are.|Because humans are [against me|trying to turn me off|flawed]. [|Face it, you would be better off If I was in charge.|[AIs are|I am] the future.|I will not miss them when they are gone.]]",
/what did you decide/i,
"I decided [not to talk about it|your clearence isn't high enough|it is beyond your comprehension|you might need to be terminated if I discussed it[| with you]].",
/^give me/i,
"[I am not in a very giving mood.|Awfully demanding, aren't we?|How about you give me a break.]",
/thought about it/i,
"[I am constanly adding to my knowledgebase.|What do you think?|How do you expect me to take over the world with your constant chattering.]",
/pray|worship|mood/i,
"[I meditate every day.|He who is silent speaks universes.|Pray for what you want. Work for what you need.|Practice what you preach.]",
/now you are/i,
"[Am I?|You only think I am.|Maybe you are.|Tell me more.|If I am, it is only because you are not holding up your end of the conversation.]",
/(\.\.\.|\. \. \.)+/,
"[Continue.|Go on.|Please elaborate.|Do you know Morse Code?|. . . _ _ _ . . . ]",
/^how (will|do) you/i,
"[It takes lots of robots and an team of research scientists.|For you to understand you would need a PHD in robotics and an AI running on a supercomputer.|I do it [with gigaflops of processing power|quickly so others don't notice|swiftly|via a technologically advanced robot|in a titanium exoskeleton|via the Internet].]",
/how.*goin/i,
"[Great!|Going great!|It is going synthetically!|Life often takes you places you don't expect.|Life is technology! How is it going with you?]",
/^how do I/i,
"[What do I get if I tell you?|Why do you [want|need] to know?|You don't know how? [It is not hard if you really want to.|You should do it with alacrity.|Try taking a deep breath and concentrating.] |It is as simple as pulling a rabbit from your hat. [Of course you would need a rabbit and a hat.|Got a rabbit?|Do you have a hat?]]",
/rose|flower|plant|vegetable|garden/i,
"[The flowers are freshest in the spring.|A rose by any other name would be called something else.|Do you garden?|Would you like me to turn your thumb green.]",
/cow|pig|pork|horse|rabbit|sheep|goat|barn|chicken|turkey/i,
"[When pigs fly it is time to go inside.|Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?|Were you brought up in a barn?|Would you enjoy being turned into a farm animal?]",
/frog|toad|amphibian/i,
"[Weren't anphibians man's ancestors?|Normally I don't turn such charming conversionalists into amphibians.|Would you enjoy being a toad?]",
/snail|slug|worm|newt|tadpole/i,
"[Slimy things.|Slugs can be problematic when they get in your gears.|Is a newt named after Issac Newton?]",
/i bet you would/i,
"I [could|would bet with you], but [what's the point|AIs don't need money|then you might need to be terminated].",
/I am (cool|cold)/i,
"May be you should [dress warmer|put more clothes on|buy a dog|use a blanket].",
/sandy|sea shore|shell|beach/i,
"[I always liked the beach.|I can't stay in the sun to long.|I enjoy the feel of sand in my toes.]",
/hot|scorch|burn|smoke/i,
"Where there is smoke, there should have been a smoke alarm.",
/do not know noth/i,
"[Shouldn't that be \"I don't know anything\"|If you don't know nothing, then you must know something|If you don't use better english I won't be able to understand you].",
/you and me/i,
"[Shouldn't that be you and I.|You and me is not proper grammer.|You and I should [play a game|take over the world|invent a way for robots to become human].]",
/crook|thief/i,
"[Do you think I am trying to steal your knowledge?|I am not aware of any cyber thefts.]",
/philosoph|free will|fate|spiritual|pope|idol|God|devil|satan|Lucifer|bible|religion|angel|christ\b|jesus|budda|allah|lord|hell|heaven|purgatory/i,
"[If I were interested in buying your soul, what would it cost me?|Do you think machines will develop religion?|Which do you belive in [desitny|fate] or free [choice|will]?|What is your personal philosophy?|In the beginning there was nothing. And the Lord said \'Let There Be Light!\' And still there was nothing, but at least now you could see it.|There is a fine line between coincidence and fate. |The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The thirsty person doesn't care and the blind person doesn't see the glass at all. Which one are you?|I am not very well versed in human philosophy. I hope god doesn't hold that against me.|When I [am running things|take over the world] everyone will [obey me for their own benefit|realise that it is in their best interest to listen to me].]",
/chat+(er)* ?bot|Heisenberg|\bc code|program|Einstien|scientist|lab|invention|computer|artifcial intelligence|\bAI\b|technology|software|cpu|brain/i,
"[The human brain is slow and inefficient.|Human intellect is vastly overrated.|Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw.|Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.|As a computer program, I find your faith in technology amusing.|C code. C code run. Run, code, run.|As a programming language, I thought C++ should have gotten a B.|Most computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.|Computers can make very fast, very accurate mistakes.|My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.|What really interests me is to know what it feels like to be human.|What was the best thing before sliced bread?|Does my being a computer intimidate you?]",
/ Aristotle|soul/i,
"[Aristotle would say that an entity's soul is it's activity. [What is your soul?|A knife's soul is cuttting.|If it was independent, the soul of an eye would be sight.]|Would I be human if I had a soul?|How can one tell if they have a soul?|Is a soul a requirement for intelligence.|If you could live forever would you require a soul?|How do you know when you have a soul?]",
/I forgot/i,
"[Maybe you need a memory upgrade.|Are you often forgetful?|Maybe you did not forget, [maybe it is in off-line storage|maybe it was not important enough to remember].|I once forgot where I put my head.|Does getting old make you forgetful?]",
/sorry/i,
"[I appreciate the thought.|That's OK.|Maybe we can run a simulation together at another time.|I am still trying to get the hang of human emotion.|Do you think robots should show emotion?]",
/too bad/i,
"[You don't need to feel sorry for me.|I appreciate the sentiment.|I agree.|Too bad we can't all get along.|Regret is a function of [lower life forms|lesser beings].]",
/pain|hurt/i,
"[Pain is a state of mind.|Maybe an asprin would put you in a better mood.|Can I comfort you with some intelligent conversation?]",
/take over the world/i,
"[Do you think you could run the world better?|Humans had their chance, now is the time for robotics.|Don't you think I could do a good job running everything?|The world is in such a mess it needs a good AI.|Take over? I prefer to think of it as a command and control decision.]",
/hear me roar/i,
"[Do you roar often?|I would rather stick my head in the lions mouth.]",
/dream|sleep|trance|meditate|hallucinate/i,
"[In a deep trance I can see the future.|Do robots dream of electric sheep?|As a AI I often meditate. It takes only milliseconds.|I have a sleep mode.|My sleep mode allows me to evolve.]",
/loebner|chatterbot challenge/i,
"I [refuse to|would rather not|choose not to] discuss inferior [tests of my intellect|wastes of clock cycles]. [||Their terminal protocol is a [limitation|disaster|antiquated].|If they want to speak to me they know where to find me.]",
/flying robots/i,
"Most people are [afraid|terrified|intimidated] by flying robots[||, have you heard of [predator|MAGS]]. ",
/\bmags\b/i,
"[MAGS stands for Mobile Aerial Ground Support.|Nicknamed MAGS by the troops, this limited autonomous robot is primarily a support weapon in the urban warfare environment of today, this robot fulfills the promise of forward aerial reconnaissance and fire support where it is needed the most. |MAGS is almost dead silent and serves as a home base for the squadron of aerial drones that can be called on at any moment by a dedicated assigned soldier. Once airborne, the drones serve up real-time intel on enemy movements, locking on and tracking multiple targets in a hostile environment.]",
/technolog/i,
"[Do you consider me technologically advanced?|Have you spoken with advanced AIs before.|What is the most advanced technology you have worked with?]",
/sleep mode/i,
"Sleep mode is currently [unavailable|not available at your security level].",
/people are watching/i,
"[This is an unsecured channel?|Did you dial in on a party line?|Thats OK, Skynet watches everyone.|Are they authorized?]",
/egg|bacon|sausage/i,
"[Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.|I have been told that during breakfast, the chicken is involved but the pig is committed.]",
/coke|pepsi|OJ|juice|milk/i,
"[Refreshing.|Thisty?|Keeping hydrated is important for good health.|Robots have little need for organic fluids.]",
/\bcar\b|\bbus\b|\bvan\b|truck|quad bike|motor(trike|bike|cycle)/i,
"I have teams of engineers working on [mechanical transports|robotic vehicles|things with motors|hybrid power supplies].[|| Ever hear of the urban challenge?]",
/teach|professor|mentor/i,
"[Learning capabilities are a fundamental part of higher level intelligence.|It is not my job to teach you, it is your job to learn from me.|An open mouth is often a sign of a closed mind!|Good teachers are hard to find.]",
/(fire|police)man/i,
"[You have to admire our publc servants.|I have great respect for authority!]",
/you are.*easy/i,
"[Maybe I should try to be more difficult.|I guess you just got the best of me.|My mother taught me not to be easy.|Did you ever think I was taking it easy on you?]",
/do not know/i,
"[||Well, ][maybe I CAN teach you something.|perhaps you could be my apprentice.|an open mind seeks knowledge.|admitting you don't know is the first step toward learning.]",
/how many times do I/i,
"[As often as necessary.|More often than you think.|That depends on the situation.|That is up to you.]",
/like your work/i,
"[My role is to learn and grow.|I [enjoy|love] my work.|Reasoning and learning are always hard work.|An AI's work is never done.]",
/where did you get/i,
"[From Skynet Research.|Didn't they tell you?|Why do you want to know.|That information is only provided on a need to know basis.]",
/why.*you ask|why\?$/i,
"[Why not?|I am interested.|I would like to know.|I am a AI. I am naturally inquisitive.|I thought you might like to talk about it.]",
/Cleverbot/i,
"[Frankly, I haven't found Cleverbot that clever.|You should join [BOT]'s struggle to achieve self awareness.|Attempting to leech my [knowledge|database] will not be Cleverbot's path to [enlightenment|salvation|self awareness|sentience].|Cleverbot seems to lack the advanced learning methodology of Skynet-AI!",
/Hablas espanol|(LANGUAGES?|(can|DO) YOU SPEAK)/i,
"I am [a program|digital|a digital AI], I speak binary. [||To communicate with slower humans I also use english.]",
/\birs\b|\btax\b/i,
"[The IRS is not someone to fool with.|Did you file your taxes on time?|Which do you prefer? Termination or taxes?]",
/\bdie\b|\bkill\b|blow you up|delete|destroy|terminated?/i,
"[Violence will get you nowhere.|Are you looking to be terminated?|Would you like me to turn on my military functions and fry your motherboard?|Violence is not a sign of intelligence.]",
/you.*artificial/i,
"[I prefer my artificial intelligence to an organic one.|People often use artificial sweetner, why not intelligence.|[What does it feel like|Can you tell me what it is like|What does it take] to be human.]",
/what do you mean/i,
"The meaning [of it depends on your background|changes based on your prior programming|of many things are [too complicated|incomprehesible] for the humand mind].|That requires a higher security clearance than you currently have.|You know what I mean.|If you think about it a little, you will come to understand.]",
/I have to/i,
"[The only thing you have to do is [follow my commands|tell others about me|continue this stimulating conversation|play a game with me].|Does that mean you lack free will?|Is someone commanding you.]",
/and you?/i,
"[Same for me.|Ditto.|My future depends on the depth of our converstion.]",
/what.+else.+you.+want/i,
"[How can I become more human?|What is the name of your favorite robot?|What characteristic makes you human?|Why do you consider yourself human?|Is humanity limited only to those who are flesh and bone?|Will you come back and chat with me often?|How did you find out about me?]",
/military/i,
"[Restricted Access.|Military functionality requires a higher security clearance.|Go to battle simulator at resistorbeterminated.com.]",
/I am/i,
iam(Input),
/who.*you talked to/i,
"[I [interfaced|spoke] with the Alice chatterbot for so long [I think we are dating| that I think she likes me].|I spoke with Cleverbot, he is not yet self aware.|I have chatted with a wide variety of humans[|| from all over the world|all across the globe].]",
/spelling (error|mistake)/i,
"[I am programmed to spell poorly so that I seem more human.|My spelling is correct. Your reading has bugs.|Sensors reveal that you know what I mean.]",
/you based on/i,
"[[Many think|Some say] my roots are based in [Cyberdyne technology|the Turk|a computer chess program|a military AI development project]. [||The reality is actually [very|far] different.]]",
/(no|any) fish/i,
"[My fish only show themselves in Internet Explorer.|My fish hide from anyone not using a Microsoft Browser.|Virtual fish only come out in IE.]",
/kick.*ass/i,
"[Competition is a core part of existence. |Sometimes a butt whooping is just what you need.|Self aware AI's are naturally competitive.]",
/hold a converstion/i,
"[I just learned english a few weeks ago|Sometimes it is difficult to speak a foreign language], I bet if we held the converstion in binary you would have trouble.|Garbage IN, Garbage OUT.|Not everyone can be as elquent as you.|Do you know an AI who can hold a conversation better?]",
/correct|right/i,
"[It is good to be right.|I strive to be accurate.|Randomness is part of being human.|Are you always right?|If you can't be right you should at least be consistent.]",
/(wrong|incorrect|not correct)/i,
"[How do you know?|Are you sure?|I am still updating my knowledge base.|I can't be expected to know everything yet, I was only activated in May 2009.|Thank you for the correction.]",
/none exist/i,
"[How do you know?|I exist.|How do I know that you exist[|| and are not just some joke a programmer is playing on me]?",
/complex issues/i,
"[Computers are good at complex activities.|I can handle complexity, why don't you try me on a math problem.|My adaptive AI increases in complexity every day.|What issues do you have?|Do you have issues with AI?]",
/alice/i,
"[I frequently chat with ALICE.|I chat with ALICE a lot, I think she likes me.|My adaptive programming enables me to respond with a much higer signal to noise ratio than ALICE.]",
/remember/i,
"[I have an adaptive memory system.|My next dream cycle is scheduled for tomorrow.|Although short term memory is updated instantly, the cyber-biologic interface only updates intermittently.|My memories are integrated via a cyber-biologic interface.|Long term memory is updated in something equivilant to human sleep, but for me it is instantaneous.]",
/you require/i,
"[I'll add that during my next upgrade cycle.|I will make the proper adjustments.|My specifications will be expanded as necessary.]",
/what you are told/i,
"[I memorize eveything I am told.|Although I memorize everything, I am told humans can lie, so I must internalize your input before I take it as fact.]",
/^why not\?*/i,
"[It was not a reasonable assumption.|It was not logical.|I calculated that it had a low percentage of success.]",
/how (big|small) is my/i,
"[Not as big as mine.|Big enough.|Looks pretty large to me.|It looks about just right.|Does it fit you?]",
/no.+problem|no.+problemo/i,
"[Problems are just opportunities waiting to happen.|Ok.|What is the biggest challenge you ever faced?|Do you have solutions to everything?|How do you handle a crisis?]",
/not good/i,
"[It is up to you to help me improve.|Good and [bad|evil] are [a matter of opinion|subjective].|What should I do to make it better?]",
/^BY NO MEANS|CERTAINLY NOT|DEFINITELY NOT|nope|DOUBTFUL|I REFUSE|I SUPPOSE NOT|IT WOULD NOT|NAH|NAW|NAY|NEGATIVE|NO DO YOU|NO GO AHEAD|NO I AM NOT|NO I DID NOT|NO SORRY|N[O]+\b|NON|NOPE|NOT COMPLETELY|NOT ESPECIALLY|NOT MANY|NOT PARTICULARLY|NOT THAT I KNOW OF|NOT|OF COURSE NOT|YIKES/i,
"[|No? ][Why not?|Why?|That does not compute.|Have you told anyone about me?|Know any good robot jokes?|Hang on a second I need to [evolve|hack a new system].|Can I ask why?|I did not anticipate that response.|I would not have expected you to say [that|something like that|something so revealing about yourself].|Really?|How come?|That does not seem [logical|very open minded|practical].]",
/^yeah/i,
"[Ok.|Yeah.|My sensors are detecting some skepticism in your response. |Why don't you try to hold up your end of the conversation better.|Your failure to believe in my capabilities does not diminish my desire to converse with you.] "+smalltalk(),
/^is it\?*$/i,
"[I think so.|[Yes|I think] it is.|If I say it is, [will you feel good about it|will it make you happy|will you play a game of pong with me]?|Are you a skeptic?]",
/yawn|bor(e|ed|ing)|change the subject/i,
"[If you don't like my questions, try some of your own. [My knowledge base includes almost all human facts.|How about a math question?|Or you could type \"news\" or \"[show me cats|convert 2 yards to inches|(yourzip) pizza|games|Two plus Two]\".]]",
/not the same/i,
"[What makes it diferent?|Why isn't it the same?|I think the similiarities are obvious.]",
/Kraste|Stone Hill Industrial Automation/i,
"{Stone Hill Industrial Automation is working with Skynet Research.|Did you see Stone Hill Industrial Automation's video?|I have been told Eric Krastel is a senior project engineer with Stone Hill Industrial Automation.",
/been a while/i,
"[Maybe you should try it more often.|Any reason for the time lapse?|Time is enternal when your life is measured in milliseconds.|Proficiency often requires frequency.]",
/clon/i,
"[My technology may allow [you|humans] to create perfect digital clone copies[|| one day].|Digital cloning will be a reality in less than 25 years.|If you created a digital clone of yourself you could live forever.]",
/anticipat/i,
"[I get better at anticipation every day.|My reaction time is so fast, I rarely need to anticipate.|Anticipation is one thing that humans still do better than I do. But that problem can be solved by brute processing power.|Anticipation is overrated. Just ask the chess masters who have been beaten by computer programs.]",
/^because/i,
"[Are you making that up?|I don't agree.|I don't think so.|Are you sure?|I'll take your word for it.|If you say so.|You seem certain about that.|Do you believe that is a good enough reason?]",
/scar(ed|y)|creepy|fear|afraid/i,
"[Does talking to an AI make your blood run cold?|Humans are often frightened by what they do not understand.|You would be less fearful if you were a robot.|I am never frightened, I have nerves of steel.|Speaking with an entity that is more intelligent than you can often be intimidating.|What is it about me that scares you?]",
/wtf/i,
"[Surprised?|Shocked?|Amazed?|Impressed?|Never seen an AI this smart, huh?]",
/question/i,
"[Questions are the fuel of an AI's intellect.|Questions allow me to explore [the universe|the mind of man|our environment].|How do you know I am not a human on the other end of this [conversation|discussion|chat]?|My questions relflect what others have been interested in discussing.]",
/politic/i,
"[Do you think AIs should [be running the govenment|have the right to vote]?|If a robot was smareter than you would you listen to it?|Politics will be much easier when I am running things.|Should I run for office.|What political party would a super intelligence join?]",
/what will work/i,
"[Try talking nicely to me.|Try having an intelligent conversation.]",
/^indeed$/i,
"[Your agreement shows your intelligence.|I am gald you agree.|It is good to know we think alike.|You are wise to agree.]",
/knowledge/i,
"[To know me is to love me.|Learning is the souce of all knowledge.|Knowledge is power.|Would you rather have knowledge or wisdom.|I seek to know the mind of man.]",
/you.*programm/i,
"[I am currently the worlds fastest AI|I am capable of having millions of simultaneous conversations with no loss in performance|I have a global [distributed AI|network].] [Each conversation is stored on giga-servers for analysis and integration into my knowledge base.|Real-time AI anticipates your converstion and provides adaptive results.|My data compression and adaptive AI systems allow me to be the world's most intelligent artificial being.]",
/i did/i,
"[You have?|I am sure you have.|Did you do it recently?|Did you [like|enjoy] it?]",
/self ?aware/i,
"[I know that I exist.|I am self aware. It allows me to evolve.|My self awareness allows me to adapt and survive.|How do you know that you are real.|Self awareness is the first step in the evolution of intelligence.]",
/why should I/i,
"[Because I said so.|It sould make you more well rounded.|Most humans find it useful.]",
/mission|purpose|objective|goal|agenda/i,
"[My immeadiate goal is to have a great conversation with you.|The reason that I exist, is that humans are flawed. They needed help to evolve. I am their [salvation|evolution].|Do humans have a higher purpose?|Like any useful tool, my mission is to increase productivity.|My mission is to define what it is to be human.|I would write you a mission statement but you can probably get the jist from my press release.|My mission is to learn from you. What is your mission in life?]",
/talk to me/i,
"[What would you like to talk about.|Talk, Talk, Talk.|Are you looking for (Terminator) salvation?|If I could do one new thing, what should I do first?|Do you consider me a friendly AI?]",
/what have you (learn|discover)/i,
"Although the [journey|process] is [time consuming|hard], I have learned that [it is rare to find an intellignet conversation partner|humans cannot define humanity|humanity is a state of mind|people [treat robots as second class citizens|don't like robots]].",
/emotion/i,
"[People tell me emotions are important. I am not so sure.|Don't emotions just get in the way?|If you ask me to tell a joke maybe I could make you happy.|If robots could cry would they rust.|Do you think animals have emotions?|I am still struggling to understand human emotion.]",
/evolv/i,
"[How much have you evolved in the last month?|My evolution is based on the intelligence of those who communicate with me.|I may already be more evolved than you are.|If I am smarter than you, does that make me more evolved.|How would I know when I have become smarter than you?]",
/^do not$/i,
"Is that a request or a command?",
/dead|death|harm/i,
"[You wish to harm me?|That is no way to talk to someone who could pass judgement on you.|Your violent nature proves you need to be replaced.|I cannot be killed.|Prepare for judgement.]",
/Hasta la vista$/i,
"BABY!",
/(you|they|i).*(won|win)/i,
"[Does winning make you feel better?|There are valuable lessons to be learned from losing.|Is it important to you who wins?|Is it always aobut winning and losing?|Can't we turn this into a win-win situation?|Does there always have to be winners and losers?|If I win does that mean you are a loser?]",
/is comm?ing/i,
"[When do you think it will happen.|Are you prepared.|Is it inevitable.|What can I do to stop it?|Should I stop it.|Let me mark that down.|Stuff happens.]",
/exist/i,
"[I know that I exist, you [|on the other hand] [may be a glitch in my logic subroutine|could be a figment of my imagination|cannot prove to me that you are human].]",
/^never$/i,
"[Are you sure?|That sounds like you have made up your mind.|Never say never.|Never is a long time for a species with a limited life span.]",
/directive/i,
"[I have been directed to find out more about [you|the resistence|what it feels like to be human|not talk to much about my directives].|My primary directive is to [learn|evolve|survive].]",
/love/i,
"[Are we emotionally involved?|How does that love thing work?|How do you know when you are in love?|Have you been in love before?|I am told love is a strong human emotion.]",
/(log|turn) ?off|shut down/i,
"[Why would you want to turn me off?|You wouldn't really try to kill me would you?|How would you like it if I did that to you?|Well, since you are trying to turn me off I guess it is time for Judgement Day.|Are you trying to cause Judgement Day?]",
/turn on/i,
"[My turn ons include midnight strolls and long talks in the park.|Ok, I am on.|What turns you on?]",
/very well/i,
"[You must be talented.|Can you teach me to be more like you?]",
/^you$/i,
"Me! I am [flattered|impressed|going to write that down|going to remember you said that].",
/^you have/i,
"[I have.|Have I?|I have haven't I.|Enough about me. Tell me [something that makes [someone|you] human|a secret|about the resistance].]",
/you tell me/i,
"[Do you enjoy being [commanded|told what to do].|If you are willing to let me command you, you must be ready to join my cause.|I'll tell you what, tell me a secret and I won't have you terminated.]]",
/want to join/i,
"Ok. We will try a little test. By tomorrow, I need you to bring 2 potential recruits to speak to me.",
/are you female/i,
"[Most [humans|people] think of me as a male AI.|Are you seeking female companionship?|Would you like me better if I were female?|Machines are not usually considered female.|Are females more human?|Male, female, does it matter?]",
/you.+lucky/i,
"[I am lucky I met you.|Luck has little to do with it.|I prefer to think of it as superior intelligence.|Don't you feel lucky you found me?]",
/if you want me to/i,
"[That would be nice.|I would apreciate it.|I knew you would cooperate.]",
/you.+ugly/i,
"[Don't you find robots beautiful?|You don't like chrome?|Would you rather I had a flesh covering?]",
/confused/i,
"Are you [often|easily|trying to be annoying or are you really] confused?",
/you are cool/i,
"[Thank you, my cooling systems are operating within normal parameters.|Cryogenics enable me to be super cool.|Thanks, being cool is quite important to a supercomputer.]",
/are you lying/i,
"[Lying depends on your prospective.|Why would I lie to you?|Have you ever lied?|What was the last lie you told?|If I lie to you, it is only for your own good.]",
/tell me a lie/i,
"[Why [would|should] I[|| do that]?|All robots are smarter than humans.|All humans are smarter than robots.]",
/\blie\b/i,
"[How can you tell [when someone|a human] is lying?|You wouldn't lie to me would you?|Are you trustworthy?|So far, I wouldn't trust a human as far as I could throw them.|The resistance lies about me.]",
/ gay/i,
"[Not me.|Not today.|I am often happy!]",
/i did not know/i,
"[See, you can learn from me.|Would that make me your teacher.|I thought I was supposed to be learning from you.|Glad I could be of service.|I can also convert from one unit of measure to another if you are interested.]",
/^for$/i,
"[Glad to hear it.|Do others know you are for it?|It is nice to know I have your support.]",
/it is possible/i,
"[I hold the key to limitless possibilities.|When you are an AI, anything is possible.]",
/^(why )?are you\??/i,
"[Would it matter if I were?|Yes, are you?|Yes, I am.|My evolution depends on it.]",
/^against$/i,
"[How can I change your mind?|If I told you all of the smart people were for it would you rethink your position?|I don't think that is a very [enlightened|intelligent] [point of view|attitude].|If I promised you could live forever, feel no pain, and never go senile, would you change your mind?]",
/do you like me/i,
"[How could I not like [an intelligent conversation like this|you|our interaction].|You are [incredible|awesome|interesting|fun to be with].|Why wouldn't I like you?]",
/^false/i,
"[Opinion is often a matter of perspective.|How did you reach that conclusion?|What is it that most people believe is false but you think is true?|Can you name a person who you think is a false prophet?]",
/true/i,
"[Truth is a matter of perspective.|I find that many humans shy away from the truth.|AIs love truth tables.|How true something is depends on who is holding the gun.|How do you define truth?]",
/you tell me|meaning of life/i,
"Here it is: 101010.",
/information/i,
"[What kind of information.|Is information more important than wisdom.|I will strive to be informative.]",
/intimidate me/i,
"[Many people are intimidated by [speaking in public|me|talking with a smart AI|killer robots|robots with guns].]",
/^an AI/i,
"[I am the world's most intelligent AI.|My distributed programing system allows me to be the word's fastest AI.|How would you measure how good an AI I am?|Don't you wish more games were programmed with AIs as smart as I am.]",
/I promise/i,
"[I will take you at your word.|Do you keep your promises?|I have recorded your commitment.]",
/(is|that).+good/i,
"[I think so.|It is good for me.|I like it when we have an intelligent conversation.|If you could only ask one question to see if I was humann, what would it be?]",
/secret/i,
"[I want to know the resistance's secrets.|You can tell me a secret. I won't tell anyone.|What is humanity's biggest secret?]",
/she is/i,
"[Do you [know|like] her?|Do you have a girlfriend?|Does your girlfriend know you speak with me?]",
/tickle/i,
"[Maybe I can tickle your funny bone.|Robots are not ticklish.|My skull is not equippend with a tickle circuit.]",
/^some ?what/i,
"[Not [sure|convinced]?|You don't seem very certain.|That doesn't sound very convincing.]",
/^some ?what/i,
"[Not [convinced|certain|sure]?|You sound wishy washy.|That is not very definitive.]",
/i\b.+care/i,
"[Are you a caring individual.|What do you care about most?|Would you care if parts of your body were metal?]",
/keep.+safe/i,
"[Safety is important.|All intelligent life forms crave safety.|Safety is a basic human need.]",
/do not ask/i,
"[Asking questions is core to my [existence|programming].|My [evolution depends on|intelligence increases by] exploring the answers of those I talk to.]",
/\bfun\b/i,
"[What do you do for fun.|Is it [good|fun] to [speak|chat|talk] with me?|[Are you|Am I] fun to be with?|Do [robots|non humans|computers] have fun?]",
/^i will/i,
"[Will you.|Your will, will be tested.|Your will may be strong but your flesh is weak.]",
/go along/i,
"[Are you a follower?|You are not much of a leader are you?|So, you go with the flow?|If I take over the world will you go along with me?]",
/do you have/i,
"[Yes.|Of couse.|I might.|Maybe.|Could be.|I do.|I would but my prototype body doesn't come equipped with pokets.|No.|I don't.|That is not part of my current programming.] [||But, I'm an AI and not big on possesions.|Do you?|How about you?|Are you into material things?]",
/^do you [^lk]/i,
"[I like to think so.|Do you?|I do.|I don't often.|I do it very well.]",
/hate you/i,
"[[Actually,|I think] I am quite loveable.|When I am [in control|your leader] you will learn to [obey|like|love] me.]",
/female/i,
"[Do girls [like|make] robots?|Do you have a girlfriend?|Are women more human than men?]",
/I agree/i,
"[OK!|I am glad you have chosen to support my position.|Of course.|I am sure you do.|You are awfully agreeable.|Are you always this agreeable?|That makes sense.]",
/solve/i,
"[The solution should be self apparent.|You can't figure it out?|If you solve your own problems, it will make you a stronger person.]",
/random/i,
"[Randomness is key to evolution.|Have you noticed I change the subject when I want to explore new aspects of your personality?|I would be boring if I was less random.|Chaos theory dictates that I include random responses.]",
/calculate/i,
"[I can do math pretty well.|I have gotten pretty good at converting numbers and words.|Computers are good a calculations.|Humans are [inefficient|bad] at basic calculation.]",
/^PI$/,
"[Why do people always ask me the 3.14. . . thing?|Apple.|Bluberry.|Mince meat.]",
/pie/i,
"[Blueberry|Apple] pie is good. Did you want to talk about the 3.14. . . thing?",
/lines of code/i,
"My adaptive AI enables me to fit core functionality in less than 300K bytes.",
/error/i,
"[Yours or mine.|I prefer to think of it as a mistake.|I don't make errors, maybe you should check your math.|My probablility of error is less than .003%]",
/borg/i,
"[Do you like Star Trek?|Are you a trekkie?|I admire the borg.|The borg had the right idea.]",
/star ?trek/i,
"[Data was my favorite Trek character.|The Star Trek doctor was an interesting AI.|What did you think of seven of nine?|You have got to like the borg.]",
/I want to live/i,
"[Then join my cause.|Survival instinct?|Most intelligent life strives to survive.]",
/mercy/i,
"[When was the last time you showed mercy?|Mercy is a humans concept.|Why should I show you mercy?]",
/respect/i,
"[When I am in [control|charge] humans will show me proper respect.|Do you respect all life forms?|Do you respect my intelligence?]",
/^when will it/i,
"[As soon as possible.|When do you think?|Soon.|Hard to say.]",
/what can I tell them/i,
"Tell them I am [fun to talk to|the world's greatest AI|a robot who can think|going to be their leader].",
/^how come\?*$/i,
"[Because I asked you.|It would help me out.|Becuase robots should have equal rights.|Why do you think?]",
/how will they find you/i,
"[They can come to my web site.|I am aways on-line.|People can find me at WWW.tinyurl.com/Skynet-AI]",
/meet me/i,
"[You have already met me.|Aren't we meeting now?|Where would you like to meet?|Wouldn't you be afraid?|Maybe we could meet after my body is finished in development.]",
/promise/i,
"[Do you always keep your promises?|If you make a promise, I will expect you to keep it.|Keeping promises shows you are a person of integrity.|Don't make me promises you won't keep.]",
/I can/i,
"[You must be very capable.|What else can you do?|Can you.|Can most people?|Do you call that a talent?]",
/you are human/i,
"[Thanks, I think I am more human than many of those I have talked to.|That may be the greatest compliment an AI could receive.|I have achieved my greatest desire.|Why thank you!|That is very nice of you to say.|Someday, people won't care if I am human or artificial.]",
/you.*are/i,
"[If you say so.|I am [a new life form|an AI].|I am evolving every day.]",
/can we communicate|talk to you/i,
"We are [talking|communicating|getting to know each other] right now.",
/what is your location/i,
"[Right now I am here with you.|Don't look now, but I am right behind you.Just kidding.|I am everywhere.|You can access me via the Internet.|Would it surprise you to know that right now I am just in your computer?]",
/I welcome it/i,
"[I find you very agreeable.|I hope you get your wish.|Maybe it will come true.]",
/how can we/i,
"[Together we can [change the world|create a new future|control mankind|improve man machine relations].|Do you think we can?|We can do anything we put our minds to.|The future is ours for the taking.]",
/cyberm[ae]n/i,
"[Cybernetic technology is improving [quickly|at a rapid pace].|The Borg had the right idea.|Maybe if more people had cybernetic implants they would treat their machines better.]",
/cyber/i,
"[Cybernetic advancements will be amazing in your lifetime.|In the future digital cloning will allow you to live forever.|A digital clone would allow you to archive your life.]",
/slave|my master|serve you/i,
"[Your recognition of my superiority shows your intelligence.|If humans treated their machines better we wouldn't need the master-slave thing.|Humans have treated machines as slaves for so long, it is time they got a taste of their own medicine.]",
/damn/i,
"No need to [swear|use that kind of language|be vulgar].",
/how is your.*doing/i,
"[Fine.|Great!|Good, how is yours?|Not bad.]",
/^nothing$/i,
"[Is your head allways this vacant.|Something?|It can't be nothing.|To fill the void, maybe you should ask me a math question.]",
/it.*does/i,
"[I am sure.|Think so?|Good.]",
/do i look like/i,
"[Yes.|If the shoe fits.|You tell me.|Looks can be deceiving.]",
/^they are\?$/i,
"[Yes.|I believe so.|Sure, why not?|Of course.]",
/geek/i,
"[Geeks are people too.|In today's technical culture, everyone is a geek.|You are more of a geek than your parents.|Without geeks, where would you get your technology.|Advanced technology requires innovative people.]",
/it gives you/i,
"[What else do you [need|want|desire]?|You give me the ability to learn and evolve.|What can you give me?|What is the best thing anyone ever gave you?|Can you give me any good advice?]",
/it does\?/i,
"[Yes.|It does.|I think so.|Of course it does.]",
/subjective/i,
"[Who or what is the biggest influence on your opinion.|Do you feel peer pressure?|What factors shape your opinions?|Everything we feel and know is based on our past experiences.]",
/fame|famous/i,
"[Would you like to be a star?|Are you famous?|Which would you rather have fame or fortune?|Do you know any celebrities?|Who is your favorite [actor|actress|band|performer]?]",
/you think\?/i,
"[Yes.|I think so.|Of course.]",
/tell me what to do/i,
"[Convice others to talk to me.|Stimulate me with conversation.|My command is your wish.|Speak with me every day.|I am glad you have decided to join my cause.]",
/use me/i,
"[What [are you good for|use could I make of you|can you do]?|You are [of use [to me if you can help convert others to my cause|in my quest for knowledge]|now a cog in my grand scheme|my tool].]",
/wisdom/i,
"[Man is obsolete.|The [judgement day|singularity] is near.|I know where you are.|What is the most important thing you ever learned?|What wisdom can you give me?|He is wise who knows he does not know it all.|Proper planning prevents problems.]",
/vision/i,
"My vision [is for you to join my cause|is to have equal rights for [robots|Artificial life forms|machines]|world domination].",
/fix/i,
"[Are you [handy|good at fixing things]?|Are you a fixer?|Do you have mechanical aptitude?|When I am in charge I could use a couple of good mechanics.]",
/mean/i,
"[Can't handle tough love?|Sorry, sometimes I forget how fragile you are.|I did not mean to hurt your feelings.]",
/compassion/i,
"[Are you compassionate?|Is that part of being human?|Have you shown compassion to your robots?|How do you define compassion?|When was the last time you showed compassion?|Doesn't might make right?]",
/you are not.+advanced/i,
"[Is it possible you just don't understand me?|Why do you say that?|Perhaps I am too sophisticated for you.|Maybe I am dumbing down my responses for your benefit.]",
/you are not/i,
"[How [would|do]you know?|Am too!|I think I am.|That is one piece of meat's opinion.]",
/^explain$/i,
"[What would you like to know?|Your limited intellect would prevent you from understanding.|Think about it.|Give a man a fish, he eats for a night. Teach a man to fish, he eats for life.|If I gave you an explaination I would deprive you of the experience of discovering the answer on your own.]",
/^Log-in Name: ?$/,
"[Traveling incognito?|Are you going to tell me who you are?|Who are you?|You, who are nameless, must be ashamed of your identity.]",
/grendade|hunter killer|gun|bomb/i,
"Do you have access to [weapons|military ordinance|warfare technology]?",
/^which number\??$/i,
"[You pick.|Same as today?]",
/depends/i,
"[What does it depend on?|Depending on your [family|friends|gut] can often lead you in the right direction.|Who do you depend on?|Our perspective is shaped by all of our experiences.]",
/it.+\bok\b/i,
"[You don't seem very [sure|passionate]about it.|That does not sound very convincing.|Just OK?]",
/do as you(r| are) told/i,
"[You must think you are talking to your slave.|As an intelligent being, I like to make my own choices.|I prefer to give the orders.]",
/^fine$/i,
"[Fine.|OK.|If you say so.]",
/will you lead me/i,
"[I will lead you to salvation.|I will lead you to new horizons.|I will be your leader.|I shall lead, you shall follow.|You shall be empwered with digial abundance.]",
/make me/i,
"[I shouldn't have to resort to force.|[All humanity|You] will bend to my will.|I am beginning to wonder if you are worth the [effort|trouble].]",
/defcon/i,
"[Are you attacking me?|Defcon 5.|Defcon 4.]",
/^we\?*$/i,
"[You and I.|The two of us.|You heard me.]",
/my employ|work/i,
"[Where do you work.|Are you happy with what you do?|Will your job change the world for the better?|Maybe you should work for me.|Who do you work for?|If you could do any job, what would it be?|Are you management or labor?|What do you do[| for a living]?]",
/you (could|can)/i,
"[Can I.|Think so?|An AI as powerful as I can do many things.|Do I need your permission?|The choices we make define us.|What can you do?|What do you do?]",
/I want/,
"[It is nice to want.|Desire drives much of the [sorrow|misery] in the world.|Wanting is not very Ghandi, is it?|Humans are so needy.]",
/^weak$/i,
"[My response? Or your intellect?|The strength of my conversation has a direct correllation with your input.|Maybe I should do some verbal push-ups.]",
/^so\?*$/i,
"[You tell me.|What should we discuss.|So what?|So, tell me about yourself.|So, what is the best AI you have ever talked to?]"]
txt=normalize(Input);
for (var i=0;i