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------- ------- ------- ------- ------- Rolly Durham didn’t have a fatal disease, and he was on his way to Rio. He’d been dying to visit Brazil and travel up the Amazon on a river steamer ever since he’d leafed through the National Geographic in the doctor’s office. ------- He leaned back in his first class seat and glanced admiringly at Macy Tripper, his lovely guide and traveling companion. She was sipping a Bloody Mary and doing the Times crossword puzzle upside down. ------- “What kind of a name is Macy Tripper?” he asked companionably. ------- “A made-up name,” Macy said. “What kind of name is Rolly Durham?” ------- “It’s a family name,” Rolly told her with some annoyance. This wasn’t how companions were supposed to talk. “Are you allowed to do that?” ------- “Make up a name? Why not? I think Macy Tripper has a snappy sound, don’t you? But call me Klezy if you like. You could change yours, Rolly. Something adventurous, like De Soto Ford. -------“Hey, chief!” Macy flagged a flight attendant. “Fill me, hon.” She handed him her empty glass. ------- “I’ll call you Macy,” Rolly said. He sank back into his seat. Macy was a cute kid, with short blond hair and green eyes, and a figure so terrific her filmy blouse appeared ashamed to hide it. She just didn’t seem sufficiently interested in him. He thumbed through the airline magazine, dismissing articles on bicycling in the Andes and night life in Buffalo. He considered a global positioning device, but it wasn’t something they’d need on a river boat. Rolly’s thoughts drifted into dark waters and heavy vegetation. He glimpsed jaguars and half-naked savages flitting behind palm fronds. ------- A warm hand touched his thigh. ------- “Seat belt, Rolly. We’re coming into Philadelphia.” ------- “Philadelphia!” Rolly nearly choked. “We’re going to Brazil.” ------- “I’ve never been to Philly,” Macy said. “It’s my surprise. I hear it’s a terrific tourist town.” ------- “But Macy.....” His face fell. “I don’t have a choice, do I?” he pouted. ------- “No, Rolly,” she said gently. “I’m the guide, but it’ll be okay. Hey, for a good time, call Macy. First stop, the Liberty Bell!” ------- ------- “Hey look, an alligator!” ------- The train to Center City wound through palm-fringed lagoons that were dotted with flamingos. To his delight, Rolly saw more alligators sunning on the banks and the rounded backs of many grazing hippopotami. ------- “To be precise,” said Macy, “the saurians are gavials. They turn up often in a crossword puzzle.” ------- Center City Station was enormous. Brightly blooming bromeliads hung from every balcony. Howler monkeys hooted behind a lattice of thick vines. ------- “Say, this is great,” Rolly exulted. ------- “I knew you’d like it, love.” Macy gave him a friendly hug as they strolled out onto Market Street and headed towards the Historic District. Philadelphians of all persuasions, sporting leatherette brief cases and natty shopping bags, bustled cheerfully about, shouting blandishments and breaking into song. Clowns and jugglers did nifty tricks, and mimes stood still as peppermints. ------- Rolly and Macy took the guided tour. Independence Hall swarmed with actors in eighteenth century regalia who rushed about importantly while a noisy debate got underway and John Adams banged his shoe. ------- ------- After lunch, they hopped a bus to the University Museum where Rolly wanted to see the Philadelphia Mummies. ------- “I’m not big on dead Egyptians,” Macy admitted. ------- “Really, Macy,” Rolly said, “they’re quite benign. Four thousand years ago this well-wrapped royal fellow was a prince.” ------- “Ugh,” said Macy. ------- “I wonder where this goes?” Rolly pointed to a tiny door that stood ajar. ------- “No, Rolly,” Macy whined, as Rolly swung it open. ------- “Ah, bright stairs!” he squeaked. ------- “Nuh uh.” Macy tried to hold him back. ------- “Don’t freak, my dear,” he said, and taking Macy by the hand he whirled her down the white and winding stair to where a limeish light began to lick the velvet walls. Forty feet below the mummy’s tomb, the passage opened to an endless chamber filled with insubstantial movement and the hum of jumbled thoughts. ------- “It’s beautiful,” said Rolly. ------- “Beauuuuutiful,” Macy echoed, “but Rolly, ooooooooh, we’ll bring the system down!” ------- Rolly saw the fear in Macy’s eyes. ------- “Quick,” he barked. They hurtled up the stairs, too late. ------- It was dark in the Museum, and on the street the cars and trucks were slued about, and people wandered without song, but soon the lights came blinking on, the drivers cheered, and once again the city was reset in full conniption. -------They took a taxi to the riverfront and had a snapper supper at the Cafe de la Paix. Macy seemed much softer now and lit with wistful fun. She ordered Chateauneuf du Pape. ------- “Oh pooh,” she said, when Rolly fussed. “Enjoy, my love. We’re over budget, off itinerary, and tumbling like bumbleweeds.” ------- They had another magnum while they watched the yachts cavort. Darkness came, and on a burnished barge that anchored in the oily surge, the Concerto Soloists played Handel to their hearts delight, and fireworks bled the summer sky. ------- ------- At the ever elegant Hotel de Paris, Macy shyly shimmied on a sheer peignoir with pretty periwinkle bows. But on opening the closet door, she screamed and stumbled back against the bed. A dreadful figure hulked before them, clad in yellow leisure clothes. The masked and booted apparition bore on its back a set of heavy metal canisters. ------- “Hello, KZ,” it said. Its voice was hard and cruel. “You’ve been an exceedingly unpropitious popsie.” ------- “Norton!” Macy managed to expel the word. ------- “Who’s this?” squeaked Rolly. ------- “Oh, Rolly,” Macy wailed. “It’s something come to kill.” ------- Norton raised an arm in jerky motion, and from his finger burst a ruby laser beam which hummed and sizzled in the disaffected air. ------- “Die, scum!” he roared. ------- “Noooo,” Rolly screamed and dashed at Norton’s digit, his natty leather slippers scuffing curls of Persian carpet. “Noooooooooo!” -------As he grasped the mighty middle member, there was a sulphrous snap, and Rolly hurtled to the floor. Norton flared in incandescent splendor, cracked and crumbled, and drifted down in bytes and bits into his disappearingly tiny yellow boots, and he was gone. ------- “Oh, Rolly.” Macy’s body glowed beneath her gauzy gown. ------- “Macy,” he said huskily. They swept across the Kirman like a summer shower, and a bright light burst in Rolly’s brain. ------- ------- “Hey mister!” A kid was clutching Rolly’s shoulder and shouting in his ear. ------- “Are you all right? Aw jeez, we were busy taking down an Astro Voyager and never checked your LED’s. You must have been... Oh man, you’ve been in there an hour, mister, and it’s crawling with the virus. You look kind of… jazzed. What happened, guy? No, wait. Let’s get you out. Hey listen, sir, I’m sorry. No charge, huh? And you’ve got a free ride any time. This shouldn’t happen.” ------- The kid eyed him strangely. ------- “You know, pal, you look different, like you put on some weight or something. I swear to Gates you’ve grown two inches. That can’t be right. Are you okay? When these machines malfunction they can really fuck you up.” ------- “Fucked up,” said Rolly dreamily. He drifted off towards the door, his legs rotating above the vinyl tile like a pair of basset hounds. “Fucked up beyond belief,” he moaned and chortled as he floated on. “Fucked up beyond all mortal recognition.” ------- But just before he sailed into eternity, he turned to address the goggle-visaged little clerk, and in an altogether different idiom he rumbled, “I’LL BE BACK.”
5 Aug 07 |